Chapter 42
Chapter Forty Two
Veronica
Idon’t know how long we remain tangled in each other's embrace before deciding to move from the floor to somewhere more comfortable…
his bed. Isaac lets out a content breath as he pulls me into his chest, inhaling me before his hand finds mine, bringing them to the air.
He lines up our fingers, showing visually how much smaller I am compared to him.
How delicate they are against his calloused fingers.
“Stay the night,” he whispers, half asleep by the tone of his voice. My throat burns, my eyes even more as the tears begin to gather. “We should talk tomorrow.”
“Sure,” I lie softly, pressing a kiss to his jaw and flushing against him. “Sleep, Iz.”
“Only if you do,” he mutters, his arms tightening around me, strong and protective, making me feel warm and safe.
Making my heart ache, guilt working its way through my system.
Infected with indecision. I close my eyes when he buries his face in my hair, letting out a heavy and exhausted breath.
“I love you, ma.” Iz grips my thigh, swinging it over his hips, closing whatever gap stood between us.
“So damn much, my pretty little sunflower.”
For a moment, I melt into him. Allowing his words to carve themselves into me.
Allowing myself to pretend for one last hour that this could be our life.
That I can find peace right here, but the truth is, I think more clearly when we are apart.
My brain isn’t clouded with his comfort, and without that, I can see how much help I truly need.
Plus, he needs to focus on what he needs to without hindering him to be the man he needs to be for that.
My thoughts drift into nothing as I breathe him while he holds me through my goodbye.
I pull away when his breathing deepens, and his grip loosens just enough for me to slip beneath him without waking him up.
Guilt gnaws in my chest. Sitting there, I just look at him sleeping like I did when we were back in that basement.
Like I did back when we were teens. A single tear slides down my cheek.
The pain hollows me out, making me question if I’m truly doing the right thing.
I take in a shaky breath as I trace the curve of his jaw.
His nose. And every part I’ve been dying to touch.
“I love you,” I whisper, leaning in and giving him a kiss on the lips.
“I hope you forgive me… I didn’t stay the night.
This is also not a goodbye, it’s see you later. Something I need to do for me.”
With that, I rise to my feet, quickly gathering my clothes and trying to be as quiet as I can.
I don’t bother to clean any part of my skin he touched, claimed, and owned.
I’ll keep the scent of him on me for as long as I can.
Slipping into my wet clothes, my body tenses from the uncomfortable sensation that makes me want to crawl out of my skin.
My phone pings, from somewhere on the floor, and I know my time here is up.
Creeping towards it, I unlock the screen and reply to the message.
Lex:
Outside
Me:
Be right down
Before I leave, I cast one final look and smile, already feeling the regret that comes with walking away.
My heart breaks into two before I walk out of his life.
Hoping that next time we meet again, I’m whole, or at least something close to it.
Hoping that he can find it in himself to understand why I need to do this.
Why it has to be this way… Once outside, I walk slowly towards Alexa’s parked car.
My stomach turns on itself with each step.
I think I’m gonna be sick. The feeling is unlike anything I’ve felt before, leaving him there, unaware that tomorrow he would wake up and I wouldn’t be here…
that I lied when I said I’ll spend the night.
Tomorrow, he will realize that I didn’t stay with him, like he wanted me to.
My heart sinks, and the butterflies die.
I sigh, pulling open the door and sliding into the passenger seat.
Alexa frowns at me. “Wanna talk about it?”
“No.” I shake my head, wrapping my arms around my wet clothes, hating the way they feel on my skin. I'm gonna have to change, but that’s a problem for the airport. Right now, all I do is bring the fabric to my nose, chasing his scent like a hound.
The ride to the airport is quiet. Too fast, and yet, painfully slow.
Streetlights smear across the windows in long, distorted streaks, like even the world outside is refusing to look at me clearly.
I can feel the heaviness of Alexa’s gaze.
I know she’s worried, but she doesn’t voice it, and for that, I’m grateful.
By the time we pull up to the departure lane, my insides feel scraped raw.
“Ronnie,” Alexa finally gives in and pushes, and I open the door before she can finish.
If she says anything else, I’ll fall apart.
And right now, I need all the strength I can get.
All the willpower to continue with my plan and find myself.
The cold air slaps my face the second I step out, waking every nerve.
My legs feel unsteady, and the wet clothes cling to my skin.
Uncomfortable and damp. Under it all… him.
His scent lingers around and motivates me to push forward.
Opening the back door, I grab the bag I had packed for the trip and sling it over my shoulder after briefly looking in the pocket, making sure everything I will need for traveling is with me.
The bag feels heavier than it should. Maybe it’s just me.
Only when I’m convinced that I will not cry, I turn to wave at my best friend.
She looks like she’s been punched in the chest, already a mess of tears.
Fuck, by the wetness on my face and the blur in my vision, so am I.
“See you later,” she mouths, and I repeat back the words before turning away and heading inside.
The airport hum swallows me whole. I wonder for a second if Isaac woke up.
Did he already notice that I left? Normalcy buzzes all around me, reminding me of why I’m doing this in the first place.
Normalcy. The one thing I’m desperate for.
But my body is still in Isaac’s bed, my heart is still on his pillow, and my soul is etched into his.
I find an empty corner by a pillar and stop, pressing my forehead lightly against the cool metal.
For a moment, a singular fucking moment, I consider turning around.
Running back out that door and heading straight back into the safety of his arms, but I don’t.
Because if I go back…. I’ll never find myself again.
I would be living, but it would be for him, and if I can’t piece myself together, he will rip himself open just to make me whole again, and I love him too much to hold him back from the future.
That single thought revitalized me, straightening my spine and continuing towards the TSA to check in.
Swallowing fast when the agent inches me forward.
My body freezes, casting one final look, expecting him to be here, ready to catch me.
Only to realize this time, he’s not here to.
Snapping out of it, before following mechanically, just moving on autopilot as I hand over my documents and ticket since I already checked in prior to arrival.
Things run pretty smoothly, despite the storm holding strong inside me, growing and intensifying by the minute.
My chest tightens, pulse hammering in my chest. The lights feel too bright, the noise too loud.
Every time someone brushes past me, I flinch.
Hyper aware of everything and everyone. The airport begins to spin, my hand curls firmly around my bag, the buzz in my ear growing louder.
A woman in front of me stops me. “Are you okay, Sweetheart?”
I blink rapidly. “Yeah.” I lie
ISAAC
The sound of my phone ringing causes me to jolt from sleep, my eyes flutter open while my hand searches for the warmth.
For her. My heart sinks, and panic surges before my mind conjures an excuse for her absence.
She has to be in the bathroom. That’s why her side is empty.
Ronnie couldn— My thoughts are interrupted by my fucking phone that just keeps ringing.
My hand continues to search until I find it—tucked beneath my bed.
Sledge. His name on the screen has my body jumping from its position, already bracing myself for the worst. My brows pull together as I bring my phone to my ears, clearing my throat. “Yo.”
“You need to get the fuck up… if you want to stop your girl,” He says abruptly, making me spring into action so quickly that The Flash wouldn’t have shit on me with how quickly I move.
“She’s—” I begin to say, only to realize that her clothes and bag are gone, my heart sinks to the deepest part of my stomach.
“She’s on her way to the airport. You might get there in time,” Sledge adds.
I’m already slipping back into my clothes, grabbing my keys, and slipping on shoes.
My body moves before my brain does. Multitasking with an efficiency that surprises me.
Each movement with purpose, not one is wasted on anything but getting myself downstairs, in my Camaro, and down to that fucking airport.
“Thank you, brother,” I mutter, running towards my Camaro and sliding inside, wasting no time.
Sledge says something else, but truthfully, I stopped listening the moment he said airport.
I promised I would give her space, not a fucking ocean between us.
Not somewhere I can’t keep her safe, or drive by to see her face.
I couldn’t let her walk out of my life, no matter how badly I wanted her to fly.
The Camaro fishtails out of the lot, tires screeching against the wet pavement.
Every passing streetlight blurs into gold and red streaks.
“Fuck… Fuck… Fuck…” I tap on the steering wheel before sharply turning towards the highway and merging recklessly. “Don’t fucking do this… Fuck. Fuck.”
A couple of miles down the road feels like an eternity.
It takes me far too long to get to her. By the time the airport comes into view, my heart beats so rapidly I can feel it in my stomach.
I don’t bother with properly parking my car.
Like a complete asshole, I leave it in the spot where you unload.
Yet none of that matters when the woman I love is leaving me.
I run down the aisle, searching for any flight that’s leaving towards the only place I can think of, Puerto Rico.
When I can’t spot it, frustration takes over.
Rushing towards the attendant, I slam my hands on the desk and ask, “Flight to San Juan, where is it?”
“Gate C,” the attendant says.
“Thank you,” I say, before taking off in a sprint.
Running towards the gate, even if my legs tremble, even as the cold from the airport bites into my bones.
I don’t feel shit but the fact that she’s slipping away.
Just as I arrive at the TSA Checkpoint, I stop searching for her in the sea of faces that blend amongst the crowd, and like a sore thumb, my girl sticks out, looking devastated at the boarding line.
“VERONICA!” I shout, snapping her from whatever spiral she was definitely working herself into.
Her head snaps up, she freezes, and I swear my damn world comes to a full stop.
Right now, at this moment, it’s only us who exist. She takes a step forward and, for a split second, I think this might actually be it.
I inch forward, trying to get to her, because only if we could talk, maybe I could change her mind.
“Sir, you can’t come past this point.” The security guard steps in front of me, blocking my view.
“Please, please, just…” I try to look past him, shifting my body so I outmaneuver him, but it’s hopeless when she moves away, her hand moving to her heart.
Her lips move, and with three words, she devastates me. “I love you.”
A tear slips down her cheek, and she turns before I have a chance to beg her not to leave me.
Before I have the chance to tell her, “I love you, too.” From outside the gate, I watch as she hands over her ticket and walks down the jetway.
The part that hurts the most is watching her leave and her never once looking back.
Realizing that I need to let her go, my knees nearly give out, but I hold it together because I’ll wait for her forever.