Chapter 46
Chapter Forty Six
Veronica
The bass pulses through my ribs as I throw my head back and laugh. I can’t believe Alexa talked me into coming out tonight, but it would be a lie to say I wasn’t having the time of my life. God, it’s been so long since I felt this free. This alive.
Content.
There’s no Harry waiting to pounce on me, no guilt clawing its way down my chest. Or grief holding me down until it fills my lungs with pain.
Alexa tugs my hand again, spinning me into another messy circle on the dance floor, her blonde waves bouncing as she howls with delight.
“You look so hot, Ronnie.” I look down at my dress.
For a moment, I grow self conscious at how the emerald dress rides high on my thighs.
How the green complements my golden skin.
She’s right, I do look hot. I look like me again…
My eyes rake over her form, taking a good look at her wearing a leather mini dress and knee-high boots.
She’s a fucking baddie, and the thing is, she knows it. And owns it.
“You’re one to talk.”
“Bitch, I only stated the obvious,” she retorts with a smile, resting her hand on my side and matching my movements to the music.
I let her tug me along. We sway. We rock.
I let it all happen. Not because I have to, but because I want to.
The music, the laughter that bursts through me, the drinks we continue to drink, until I’m buzzing and hot.
It’s perfect. It’s us. We dance like no one’s watching, to the song “Hot Blooded,” by New Constellations.
The rhythm makes us writhe against each other.
Alexa leans in, shouting over the music, “You’re glowing, bitch! ”
I snort into my drink and raise it in the air. “That’s just sweat and a tequila buzz.”
She grins wickedly. “Or maybe you finally remember how to be that girl again.”
I missed this. I missed us. Missed me…
Tears spring into my eyes, and I quickly blink them away.
Feeling the music sink into my skin and bones.
My hips continue to sway to the side, my head matching its rhythm.
Letting myself get lost in the buzz of the tequila and the pulse of the music.
Suddenly, my best friend cups my face, her blue eyes glistening with tears.
“I’m so fucking proud of you,” she slurs before a hiccup escapes her. Oh, she’s drunk! But I don’t mind.
“I love you, Lex,” I shout over the music.
“Bad bitches don’t cry, they dance.” With that, I laugh loudly with my full chest. For the first time in a long time, I feel the weight of my trauma lift from my heart, and in its place, calmness takes hold.
Alexa spins again, tipsy and twirling like a gleeful hurricane.
Her laughter is contagious—she’s always been the loudest in the room.
Something I always loved about my best friend.
I raise my hand with hers, letting the music thread through my veins like lightning.
The lights above us strobe red, pink, and gold.
Everything feels alive. Everything feels like mine again.
For the first time in forever, I’m not looking over my shoulder.
I’m not holding my breath. I’m not just surviving…
but thriving. I’m living, and I don’t want the night to end, for this feeling swelling inside my chest to go away.
I wipe a bead of sweat off my temple before finishing the rest of my drink in one swallow, when Alexa goes still beside me.
Slowly, she tips her cup to her lips, her eyes tracking something—or someone—over my shoulder.
My pulse spikes. Adrenaline rushes, blending with the alcohol and creating a unique surge through my bloodstream.
It takes me a minute to steady my breath, not even sure why I feel this way.
Just as the anxiety builds, it’s relaxed by the sight of a slow, sly grin that begins to spread across her face, which tells me it's someone we know, my guess is that smirk is for Sledge.
“Oh,” she hums over the loud thumping of the music. “Would you look at that?”
My brow furrows, my hand moves to my face, wondering if there’s something on it. “What?”
Before she can answer, I feel it. The change in the air is like static before a lightning strike. Like gravity, remembering who I belong to. Goosebumps break through my skin. I take a deep breath in, I turn slowly, and then there he is.
Isaac.
Standing near the edge of the bar, backlit by the neon red of the beer sign behind him.
Wearing a black fitted t-shirt, navy blue jeans, and of course, his leather jacket.
His eyes are already on me. I chuckle at that, a small hiccup escaping me, because of course they are.
My heart clenches in my chest as I drink him. He looks tired. Beautiful. And mine.
Maybe it’s the alcohol that loosens the tension, something twinges in my chest when he smiles, his gaze sweeps over me in one quick, and swift motion. Sledge appears at his side, whispering something in his ear, whatever it is does little to take his attention away from me. Not once.
I turn to Alexa, who’s pretending to be busy. “You….”
She smiles nervously, showing me a row of perfect white teeth.
“I had no idea,” she lies horribly. I don’t know whether I should be mad at her or hug her.
I would be lying if I said this isn’t a pleasant surprise.
Actually just what the doctor prescribed.
Enjoy the little things. The words play over and over in my head.
Enjoy the little things. I feel every second of the past months in my bones. Longing. Love.
Before I overthink, I step off the dance floor without a word and head towards him.
Isaac doesn’t move from where he stands.
He just stares at me with an intensity that makes my skin prickle with heat.
The closer I get, the more my stomach flips, and my body hums with anticipation.
My lips twitch. “You’ve been watching me? ”
“Since I walked in.” His jaw clenches. “You look happy. It suits you.”
From the corner of my eye, I watch Sledge walk towards Alexa, giving us privacy to speak. “Thank you.” I squint my eyes, pretending to be inspecting him. “You look tired.”
He leans into my ear, whispering,“That’s cuz I am.”
“Exhaustion looks good on you,” I quip nervously. My body is a bundle of wild nerves that I can’t contain. “This is your doing?”
He shakes his head, no, as he shoves his hands into his pockets. “Can’t say I’m the one to blame.” Iz cocks his head to the side. “I think we have two meddling friends trying to play Cupid.”
“I don’t mind,” I blurt out, shocked at how easy it feels.
Maybe Isaac has been right all along. Maybe this could have been this easy.
It could all have been this smooth right from the beginning.
If I had just been honest with myself. But there’s no reason to linger in the past. Iz gives me a crooked smile. “You sure?”
I nod once, too quick to be anything but sure. “Can we…” I bite down on my lower lip. “Can we get out of here for a sec? I need air. And smoke.”
He doesn’t answer right away. He just breathes in through his nose before jerking his chin towards the exit. “C’mon.”
We slip out of the crowded bar, and the night air slaps cool against my heated skin. “Wanna go for a walk?”
Isaac tilts his head to the side. “Lead the way.”
And I do.
My heels click softly as we fall into step, heading wherever our feet take us.
No destination. Just movements. Silence blooms between us, not awkward…
but comfortable. We cross a narrow street and cut through the back alley behind the strip of bars.
The concrete is cracked, and there's a faint smell of street food in the air. My body’s warm, but my fingertips tingle thanks to the tequila working through my system.
The familiar click of a lighter pulls my attention to Iz, watching as he lights up a joint.
The ember grows brighter as he inhales deeply, before passing it to me.
“Thanks,” I murmur, placing the joint between my lips as we continue to walk.
One street turns into another, and before I know it, we’re near the ridge. The night is still, the city lights stretch around and beneath us in scattered gold specs. I pause right on the edge, exhaling the marijuana smoke, and look around. Pointing straight ahead, I whisper, “I know this area.”
Iz hums low. “Yeah.”
It’s not until we follow the sloped gravel path around the corner that it hits me—this is the other side.
My ankles twist slightly when Isaac’s hands meet my waist and steady me as we make it further down the overlook.
The one directly opposite the place where we were taken, from our spot.
The same hill. The same city view. But a new angle. A full fucking circle.
I freeze beside Isaac. Our eyes scan the area. “Did you know?”
He shakes his head. “Didn’t even realize until just now.”
We both turn to face the city, and I pass him the rest of the joint.
The air is quieter here. The kind of silence that makes you feel things.
My hands tremble slightly as I bring them to my neck, feeling the smoke dance around me.
“After it happened, I couldn’t stand the idea of going back.
It used to be our spot, and now I don’t think I can go without getting sick to my stomach. ”
“Me too.”
I smile softly. “And yet…” I look around, taking in the graffiti scattered railing, the single bench, and my smile deepens. “Here we are.”
“Alive,” he intervenes.
I nod. “Alive.”
Another pause.
“I didn’t come back for you because I thought I would hurt you. Like I was taking more away from you by being here,” I whisper. “I wanted to be the best version of me, because I couldn’t bear you taking pieces of you to make me whole.”
He doesn’t speak, and the silence cracks something inside me.
I’m so tired of being so indecisive. Conjuring excuses why we couldn’t be together or make it work.
When the most important reason exists. Love.
And just like that, words tumble from my lips.
“I just want you to know that I’m okay. I’m better, Iz.
I’m not the woman I used to be, but I’m slowly becoming a better version. ”
His shoulders rise with a breath. “That’s all I ever wanted.”
My eyes sting before I even realize why. My voice is a rasp when I speak. “I love you. And I think you should know that. Just that I love you.”
I swear he stops breathing. Isaac stands frozen like a statue. He doesn’t react. Maybe he’s in shock or doesn’t believe me, so I say it again, just in case he needs more confirmation, and this time even louder. “I love you, Isaac Vargas.”
His jaw clenches like he’s trying to hold himself together. “Fuck, mami…” He takes two strides towards me, closing the distance between us. “I was so scared I’d never hear you say that. Tell me again.”
“I love you.”
“Again.”
I cup his face, drawing him closer until our bodies brush. “I was scared. Still am. But I’m willing…. I want to live, but alongside you.” His forehead leans down against mine. “Say it again.”
“I love you,” I repeat, not caring about spending the rest of my life saying those three words to him, showing him and giving him all this love locked inside of me. His hand comes to the side of my face, thumb brushing under my eye, already predicting that the tears are about to fall.
“I love you,” he says.
And there in the shadow of the past, we kiss. It’s slow, our lips press against each other before parting to allow our tongues to slip inside. Our hands tremble as our tongues meet in a dance that says everything we haven’t. His hands find my waist as mine grip his shirt, and it’s not just a kiss.
It’s home.
It’s every second we survive… A promise that no matter what comes next, we will face it together. The city below us glows like an altar, and for the first time in what feels like a lifetime… I, Veronica, am not afraid.