CHAPTER THIRTEEN
By the time Ian finally settled in his bed, it was close to eleven, but his body was wide awake and his brain would not slow down.
He couldn't believe how much had happened since this morning. He'd been expecting a quiet day filled with chatter and instead he'd gotten a whirlwind of a day, full of surprises and swift turns that left him feeling like he needed to catch up but didn't know how.
Nothing seemed as big as Alex having a son, though. The man was a single father now, trying to figure out how his life could look like after another big change.
Ian had witnessed some of that before, when Alex's solo career had picked up steam quickly and a million things vied for his attention.
"I wanted more of a say in how things were run, but now that I have it, I don't know the answer half the time," Alex had admitted once, out of the blue, when Ian had been walking with him through an empty parking lot after a meeting that ran long into the night.
"Half the time is still impressive, actually," Ian offered, when he caught Alex glancing his way and realized the man wanted a response. "Nobody knows what they're doing all of the time."
"Some people seem like they do."
"That doesn't make it true. Trust me, I observe people for a living, and if you really pay attention, you can figure out how often people only appear a certain way instead of being a certain way."
They'd had a few conversations like that in the past—not often, but whenever Alex had been struggling with a big decision, a change, or frustration over things grinding to a halt.
And now, he was facing the biggest change of them all. Fatherhood looked good on him—too good, honestly, and Ian could already tell he needed to be on guard even more than he'd thought before—but it was still an enormous responsibility.
Thankfully, there didn't seem to be any actual, present danger to worry about so far, and Ian hoped it would remain so.
He sent Kalei a general "everything's fine" check-in, and the reply came right away.
Ok. Keep me posted.
As Ian stared at the screen, he thought about Kalei's earlier offer.
A part of him was still floored by that whole conversation.
It wasn't false modesty, either—he knew he was good at his job and he'd been commended for his leadership skills before.
He'd led a platoon in the Marines, so if he could round up an unruly group of mouthy twenty-somethings, he figured he could do even better with actual adults.
KRK Security was full of smart, capable people, though.
They worked in pairs most of the time and the leadership structure was very flat, but it worked—in no small part because of Kalei's ability to hire the right people, which Ian didn't think he had himself.
Over the years, the natural inclinations shaped and reshaped their larger team and certain parts within the group dynamic were clear.
Jeremy was the natural leader, Martinez the class clown, Dave and Travis the shit-stirrers…
Ian didn't feel like his own position was as obvious as theirs, which was fine by him.
He had no desire to go toe to toe with Jeremy, especially since he respected the guy too much.
Who knew, maybe if Ian had known there was a position to aspire to, he might have put in more effort in honing his leadership skills, but he'd honestly thought his current spot was The Thing.
And he'd enjoyed it, too. He and Clay gelled well, both on and off the clock, and having a partner Ian could trust like this was priceless.
With Kalei always on hand but giving his people free reign within the boundaries he'd established, each pair of field agents ran their ops how they saw fit and that made for the most dynamic and interesting work experience Ian had ever had.
Even as he'd been trying to get out of his funk in recent months, the idea of changing jobs hadn't occurred to him.
Still, he had been craving some kind of a change lately.
He hadn't felt truly fulfilled in a long time, and while a part of it could be attributed to the bruised heart he was nursing, it wasn't all that it was.
He'd been considering trying a dating app again and maybe adopting a cat, not packing up his life and moving to New York City to try and build something similar to what they had at work here.
And yet, Kalei's offer stirred something inside him. There was the excitement he'd been missing, the stream of half-formed ideas, the energy that made him want to get up and start working on them right away.
Changing environments could be good for him, even though he would miss his friends a lot.
Since Kalei didn't want to split the current team, Ian couldn't poach anyone to go with him, which he wouldn't do anyway.
He was going to be the boss over there, and that would mean a shift in the dynamic that could put a strain on any friendship.
There was a reason Kalei didn't hang out with them outside of the company get-togethers at his house, after all.
Could Ian handle turning all the friendships he'd made here into long-distance ones? How many would survive the process?
His bond with Clay would, Ian was certain of that. But others? It was hard to tell.
And yet, it wasn't as big of a deterrent for him as it might be for some people.
Ian had years of experience living away from his family and his buddies from the Corps—he'd grown used to it.
He knew how to maintain those relationships, when there was a will on both sides.
And with his younger sister living her best life in Brooklyn with her husband and kids these days, New York meant he would be close to some of the family, at least.
If he discarded the novelty stress and the issue of his social life taking a hit, what was left to consider, then?
Aside from the fact that he could fuck it up so completely that he would not only ruin the entire NYC branch but also destroy KRK's reputation as a whole.
Ambitious, he could almost hear Clay say in the driest of his dry tones, of which he had several. Surely, if you have the power to bring down a prosperous, well-regarded company all by yourself, you could handle the less impressive undertaking of making it work out there.
Ian rolled onto his side and inhaled the scent of an unfamiliar laundry detergent as he tried not to get into it with the imaginary Clay.
Sure, Ian might, perhaps, exaggerate things in his worst case scenarios, but he at least kept it to himself and strictly to his private life.
At work, he was level-headed and rational, assessing risk factors to the best of his ability.
No one needed to know he sometimes headed down the road of the less possible and more catastrophic scenarios when considering his own life circumstances.
One heartbreak too many was all that had been needed to develop a habit, and with his recent track record, he couldn't say he had many reasons to discard it.
Thankfully, his track record in work-related decisions was much, much better, so he could maybe at least contemplate an option of this promotion working out well for him.
Maybe.