CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
"I got you."
Alex's knees buckled under him. Yes. Yes. That.
Hardly breathing, he let Ian undress him. He lifted his hands, and canted his hips, and generally did everything he had to do to move things along, but he couldn't make his brain cooperate enough to undress Ian as well.
"You, too," he finally murmured once they were on the bed, even though Ian—fully dressed—pressing his body against Alex's naked one was hotter than it had any business being. The friction of material against his skin felt fantastic, too, and he'd bet he would be able to come from that alone.
He wanted more, though.
Everything, a voice at the back of his mind insisted, but Alex ignored it. There would come a time, preferably soon, for a long, thorough exploration of Ian's body. One where Alex would learn everything there was to learn about what made Ian moan, or gasp, or maybe even beg.
Tonight, he needed something different. They both did, if Alex was reading Ian right.
"I want you inside me." A whispered confession right into Ian's mouth caused them both to shiver, but a second later Ian sat up and grabbed his shirt to tug it off.
Yes. Perfect.
Alex's mouth watered at the expanse of all that skin, light brown seeming darker against his pale hands.
There was a trail of dark hair low on Ian's stomach, but other than that, his skin was smooth and warm, stretching over muscles Alex had spent a lot of time picturing under Ian's suits and only gotten to see once, over a year ago.
He whined in protest when Ian pulled back to get onto his feet, but then Ian started shedding the rest of his clothes and that—that Alex would happily watch any day.
Gripping the base of his cock, he told himself to get it together. He couldn't embarrass himself by coming too quickly. It might have been over a year since he'd last had sex, but that was not an excuse.
"You want to take the edge off?" Ian leaned over him on the bed, one hand petting the inside of Alex's thigh. "I can—"
Alex pulled him into a kiss to shut him up, afraid that even an explicit suggestion might be enough to push him too close to the edge. A part of him was curious just how desperate he had to look for Ian to read him so easily, but the rest of him truly didn't want to know.
He still shook when Ian's body covered his from head to toe, cocooning him in warmth and the sense of safety that made him melt against the sheets.
Next thing he knew, he was clinging to Ian, his arms tightening around Ian's neck as his legs did the same around Ian's hips. Their cocks were almost-but-not-quite pressing against each other, but it wasn't even the most important part, because Alex was…
He was…
"Hey, it's good, it's all good," Ian murmured, lips brushing against Alex's ear. "I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere. You're good, you're so good."
"Yours." Alex swallowed hard, pushing through the overwhelm.
"I've been yours since the first time I saw you, and I don't care how embarrassing it sounds, because I almost lost you for good.
I fucked everything up, and we came so close to not having it, to not being here like this.
" He squeezed Ian even harder. "I'm so glad you're here, fuck. "
"I'm here and I'm not going anywhere." Ian dropped a kiss right below Alex's ear. "I don't want to be anywhere else. I'm yours, too. I've been yours for as long as you've been mine."
Alex's heart stuttered. He'd hoped, obviously, but for all that the two of them had made various plans for the future, for all that they both seemed all in, Ian hadn't said—
Fuck, Alex loved him so much. His impossible crush turning into a real love story, wasn't that the stuff people wrote songs about?
He had a few of his own, the ones about longing, about dreaming big and hoping, and most of them had never been released because he didn't want to answer questions about the inspiration behind them.
Now, he'd be able to write songs about dreams coming true and not worry about those questions anymore, since he was not going to be hiding Ian at all.
He didn't have to, and with a man like that at his side, there was nothing to be afraid of.
Letting out a shaky exhale into what little space there was between them, Alex relaxed his grip around Ian and pulled him into a kiss, slow, and deep, and perfect.
They had time.
They had all the time in the world.
The earlier rush had faded into the background, but as they kissed and Alex ran his hands all over Ian's back, the hunger grew once again. After days of starting and stopping, of having to pull back when all he'd wanted was to lean in even more, Alex was starving.
"Get in me," he whispered against Ian's mouth, and smiled at the way Ian stilled before pulling back quickly to get the supplies.
Alex was not the only impatient one, it seemed.
Good.
He'd had many fantasies about testing what had always seemed like Ian's unshakable patience, but none of them were fitting for tonight.
Tonight, Alex wanted this, right here—Ian stretching him with his long fingers as he watched Alex take them, Ian's heated gaze flying back and forth between Alex's eyes and his hole, and then, finally, Ian's cock replacing his fingers and—
"Yes, fuck, come on," Alex babbled, possibly gripping Ian's shoulders too hard. He needed that anchor, needed something to hold onto as his heart was hammering against his chest and his whole body felt like it was on fire in the best possible way. "Fill me up, don't need to go slow, I'm ready."
"Damn, look at you." Ian slid all the way in and then stilled, staring down at Alex in a way that made him feel even more naked, as if it were possible. "So gorgeous like this. So perfect for me."
Alex wanted to protest, to insist Ian had it the other way around, but hearing him say it… Alex wanted to bask in it.
Then Ian pulled almost all the way out before slamming right back in, and everything came down to this, yes, right there, and to fighting for breath as the pleasure mounted up and up.
When it finally exploded, his body was shaking, and shaking, and shaking, until he fell, exhausted and spent but feeling so, so good.
Curling up in Ian's arms afterwards, settling his head on Ian's shoulder and being pulled even closer—it all felt like the most natural thing in the world and the greatest gift both at once, and Alex closed his eyes to hold back the tears of happiness threatening to spill.
He could have this, now. He could have Ian, and not for one night, not in fleeting moments, but for good.
And he would fight to keep it. No matter what.