Chapter 30
JASON
For the second time today, the bed was empty when I awoke, and it made me wonder what I had to do to get Laurel to stay with me. I’d watched her sneak out this morning and was relieved when she’d returned to me.
Which was strange. I usually preferred sleeping alone, to spread out unhindered, but now I stared at the empty sheets in disbelief.
The sex we’d had wasn’t like anything I’d done before.
Just thinking about it made my heart beat faster.
And once again, my head was chaos. Not when she was around, only when she was gone.
I didn’t like that she wasn’t here, and I could hear Shawn’s deep voice echoing down the hall.
It was annoying my brother hadn’t left as he promised.
But it was good, too. Before I had fallen asleep, I realized I was going to have to ask him for a favor.
Clothes were yanked on, and I stalked down the hall.
“Our father’s American,” Shawn said, “which is why we’re dual citizens. After the divorce, my mother and I moved back to Germany. Jason decided to stay behind and finish school here. Then he had the brilliant idea to enlist.”
There was a faint amount of disdain in my brother’s voice. Not about my service, but the decision to do so. Joining the Army was the most American thing I could do. It was a clear sign I had chosen my father’s homeland over our mother’s beloved Germany.
Not that she’d left me much choice. My brother was the golden child, and I felt like an inconvenience.
My decision had fractured our family worse than our parents’ divorce, and Shawn still hadn’t recovered.
When I stepped into view, Laurel startled, making the drink she was holding nearly slosh out of the glass.
Did the sight of me make her nervous?
I had half a mind to drag her back to bed and show her I wasn’t anything to be frightened of. Instead, my attention went to the glass of liquor in my brother’s hand, which I immediately snatched up.
“Do you mind?” he asked, irritated.
I drank the entire thing, and it burned as it went down, fueling the words that were sure to make her angry.
“There’s been a change of plans. I need you to stay here until tomorrow,” I said to him, “and if there hasn’t been any progress with her case, you’ll take L with you when you head back to Germany.”
“What?” they both asked, although hers was with less confusion and more panic.
I kept my focus on my brother. “You keep her safe until Frey is caught. Once that’s done, you’ll bring her back to testify, and afterward . . . we’ll disappear.”
“Jason.” She looked dizzy from how fast she’d stood.
“Frey?” he repeated.
We didn’t get along growing up, and choosing sides had literally put an ocean between us. But I could trust him. I could put my pride away and ask for this if it would keep her alive.
“Frey’s the man after her. Can you do it?”
“No, he can’t,” she said, her voice building with anger. “I don’t have a passport.”
Even if she did, we couldn’t use it anyway, but there were ways around that issue. “Shawn doesn’t fly commercial. He’ll have someone alter the passenger manifest and bribe the immigration official when you land.”
“I’ll do what?” he demanded.
Her eyes were wide with shock and hurt. “You want to send me away?”
For a moment, the room went utterly still. No one said a thing or took a breath.
Then my brother slowly rose to his feet. He pulled the empty glass from my hand and began to move toward the doorway. I couldn’t tell if he was angry with me or just wanted to give us privacy.
But I was desperate, and I didn’t bother to hide that from my voice as I asked him, “Can you do it?”
His gaze went to the girl in the room who stared at me with betrayal.
“If it’s what she wants. Of course.” His large frame disappeared down the hallway.
It was five steps to reach her, and she struggled to be free of my hands on her hips, but I wouldn’t let her.
“I’m not sending you away,” I said. “I’m keeping you safe. He won’t find you over there.”
Laurel’s haunting eyes considered this and her expression went cold.
“Then what the hell was all of that in there?” She jabbed a finger toward the bedroom. “You told me I was safe with you. Why is that suddenly not true? What’s changed since then?”
“Everything,” I said with my voice raised, not meaning to match her intensity.
Fuck. Everything had changed.
I took a breath as I sifted through the competing thoughts in my mind. “No one will be looking for you in Munich,” I said. “If you change your name and your appearance, you could probably keep dancing. You’d have to start from the bottom, but you could do it.”
I had no idea if this was true, but I hoped presenting her with this was enough to get her to agree, and the look on her face showed how tempting that idea was.
The possibility that what she’d been wasn’t completely gone.
Her shoulders rose as she took a deep breath and her gaze dropped to the hands I had on her.
“No. I want to stay here.”
Her soft voice made it unclear if she meant in this country, or right where she was now, in my hold. An odd, prickly sensation traveled up my body, warning me not to ask what I was about to.
“Why?” I gently grasped her chin and tilted it up, forcing her to look at me.
“Because I don’t know if I could be that far away from you.”
Hearing that made everything easier and so much harder. It was the exact same fear I had but couldn’t bring myself to say.
Too soon.
Too fast.
“And I’m not going to leave if my sister’s in danger,” she added. Her expression shifted to one of determination. “How quickly do you think he would come after me if I surfaced? How long would I have?”
When I first learned it was Frey, I’d thought about this option. We could draw him out into the open using her as bait, but it was incredibly dangerous. It wasn’t worth the risk of losing her, now more than ever.
“I don’t know, and we’re not going to find out.” I put emphasis on it because I was just as much a part of this as she was now.
“I’m tired of him being in control. Everything we do is a reaction.” I knew what she really meant, how she felt helpless.
“No,” I snapped. “No,” I repeated, calmer.
“You’ll know he’s coming. It’s like I’d be bringing him right to you.”
“Goddamnit, no.”
“Why not?”
“Because!” I yelled it like I was a child. She stared at me, a pissed-off expression which told me that wasn’t a reason. I tried again, my voice reverting to a quieter, albeit shakier one. “Because I’m not ready.”
“Ready?”
I couldn’t find a way to express what I meant. I tried to put it together in my head but found only a jumble of words there and no coherent sentences . . . save one. Something I’d never said to anyone outside of family in my lifetime.
“I’m not ready,” I repeated, more for my benefit than hers. “We’ll know more when I call tomorrow.”
“Then I don’t see the point in having this conversation now.”
“Please, Laurel. I’m trying to keep you alive. I’m not trying to make you mad or send you away. I hope you know that.”
Her face didn’t change. “I’m fine.”
But my instincts issued a warning. When a woman said fine, she really meant anything but that.