Chapter 29
Everly
Julian is leaving. Two days together flew by. I remind my heart it’s not forever. Still, I spiral a little watching him throw his bags into the back of his Jeep and hug Allie and Ashley. Once they turn to go inside the main house, I push off the front fender and step into his arms.
“I don’t want you to go.”
“I’ll be back as soon as I can, as often as I can,” he vows.
I nod against his chest, the soft fabric of his shirt caressing my cheek.
His biceps flex as they lock around me. I clasp my hands together behind his back, rocking from side to side, sinking my nose between his pecs.
I inhale deeply. His scent is a balm to my nervous system—always has been.
Sleeping so soundly next to him the last two nights has me preemptively mourning my loss of sleep until he returns.
“If you don’t let go, I can’t hurry and come back.” He relaxes his arms and kisses the top of my head. I nod again, not trusting my voice.
We spent the whole day on the beach yesterday.
The waves weren’t perfect for beginners, but he let me show him a few things and even stood up and rode a few for a couple seconds before he fell.
He chalked it up to his balance from kickboxing.
I think he was born an athlete and just doesn’t know it.
We talked about our family dynamics a lot.
He doesn’t know where his athleticism comes from because his parents were addicts as far back as he can recall.
I confessed that my urge to run when things get tough comes from both of mine.
My dad was always happier deployed—like he needed to be over there fighting for them (the best friends he lost) because they no longer could.
My mom can’t be in our house without him for more than a couple days before you can tell she is coming out of her skin, itching to leave.
As much as I believe we are not destined to become our parents, I think some of that modeled behavior gets in and must be unlearned.
A therapist would say realizing that is half the battle.
I say it’s the easy part. The real work is in not perpetuating the cycle—much easier said than done.
Still, I’m committed. I’m done running. Now that I’ve had these days with Julian again, I refuse to live without him.
“Okay,” I reply and let my arms slip to my sides. I step back and add, “But I’m not going to watch you drive away.”
“Okay, pretty girl.” He rubs my earlobe between his thumb and forefinger. “I’ll see you soon, Ever. Promise.” He pulls my chin to him and kisses me sweetly on the lips. “Miss me.” He winks and turns to open the driver’s door.
I turn and rush inside my cottage and flop on the couch, listening as the sound of the Jeep grows more distant until I can’t hear it at all.
My phone dings on the coffee table with a text from Callie.
She and Auz are in the studio and want me to pop in for some quick YouTube content.
Perfect distraction. I reply that I’m on my way.
Before I move from the couch to walk over to the building next to mine, I pull up Julian’s contact info and unblock his number, pull up his text screen and type two words.
I will.