Chapter 8 #2
“What are you going to do?” I asked, dropping onto the bed. It was about a thousand times nicer than my bed at home, and this was only the guest room. Maybe Aunt Ashley was loaded.
“I’m gonna pass out,” Cian said with a bark of laughter. “I stayed up so you wouldn’t fall asleep at the wheel, remember?” He stretched out on the opposite side of the bed. “Damn.”
“Stay in here,” I ordered the kids lying down. “You won’t bother us.”
“Won’t even notice you,” Cian mumbled behind me.
We slept for hours. When I finally opened my eyes again, it was late afternoon. Aisling and Ronan were on the floor playing Barbies—though, he’d die before ever admitting it—and Saoirse was sitting on the floor next to them with her back against the wall, a book resting on her upturned knees.
“What time is it?” I rasped, leaning up on my elbow.
“It’s three,” Saoirse said.
“Shit.” I pushed myself up.
“Aunt Ashley ordered lunch,” she said. “We ate on the back porch but we came right back in here.”
“That’s fine, Sersh,” I said groggily.
“I feel like I was hit by a fuckin’ truck,” Cian muttered behind me.
I froze.
“Shit,” he said. “Bad choice of words.”
“I’m going to go talk to Aunt Ashley,” I announced. “You guys stay in here.”
“I’m bored,” Ronan protested.
“You’re fine.” I waved him off. “How you feeling, Ash?”
“Okay,” she said, looking up from her Barbie. “My ear feels better.”
“Good.” We’d still need to stay on top of her antibiotics. I really hoped this round worked.
I made my way out to the living area and found Aunt Ashley sitting at the counter in the kitchen, a notepad in front of her.
“Feel better?” she asked.
“Tons,” I replied, stopping on the opposite side of the island. “Sorry for crashing like that.”
“No worries,” she replied with a shake of her head. “I can’t believe you drove all the way through the night.”
“Adrenaline is a magical thing,” I said with a grim smile.
It was weird, but when I had all of my siblings with me, I very much felt like one of the kids.
Now that Aunt Ashley and I were facing each other one-on-one, it felt like we were on equal footing.
“I’m sorry we just showed up on your doorstep. I wasn’t sure what else to do.”
“I’m glad you did,” she said seriously. “I hope you know that I’ll do whatever I can to help.”
“Having someone who’s settled and says they’ll take us on,” I replied. “That’s what we need.”
“You have it.” Her response was instant.
I straightened. “I don’t need you to take care of us,” I said firmly. “I’ll get a job and figure it out. I just need the legitimacy, you know? Of an older person.”
Aunt Ashley watched me for a long moment, and I wondered if we’d be driving through the night again. I wasn’t sure where we would go, but—
“Honey, I’m not going to try and take over, okay?” She smiled sadly. “It’s clear who the parent is in this situation.”
“I’ve had to be,” I replied defensively.
“I see that.” She tapped her pen against the notepad. “I’m sorry I didn’t know how bad things had gotten. I heard a little from the kids at lunch…when Saoirse would let them speak.”
“Old habits,” I mumbled, a little embarrassed. Then I straightened my shoulders. I had nothing to be embarrassed about. “Mom was drunk and when she wasn’t drunk, she was gone. The kids needed food and structure and someone who gave a shit.”
“And that person was you.”
“Who else would it be?”
“I should’ve been there. Checked in.” She shook her head. “After Mandy and I got into it at your dad’s funeral, she told me in no uncertain terms not to come back.”
“I remember.”
“I should’ve ignored her,” she said. “I knew she was in bad shape, but I had no idea how bad it was for you kids. Before Sean—” She cleared her throat. “I just never could’ve imagined that she’d check out like that.”
“She was nothing without him,” I replied flatly. “A shell. She didn’t have the capacity to look after herself after he was gone. We were just people who lived in the house she paid for.”
A tear dripped down Aunt Ashley’s cheek. “Your dad would be livid.”
“I know.”
We were quiet for a few moments.
“I’ve been making some lists,” she said, breaking the silence.
“Things that we need to do. First, I need to call the hospitals and find out where they took your mom. We can’t just leave her body unclaimed.
” Her voice broke on the last word, and my eyes watered.
“I’ll take care of all those details. Your dad was cremated, so I thought we should do that for her. ” She looked at me questioningly.
“That’s fine with me.”
“Okay, so I’ll do all that. You don’t need to worry about it.”
“Thank you.” I wouldn’t have even known where to start.
“For her funeral—”
I let out a painful chirp of laughter. “A funeral for who? Us? We’re not going back there. Her friends? I guess you could put up a flyer at all the local bars.”
“Maybe do something here?” she asked softly. “Just us? Trust me, even if you think you don’t need it—the kids deserve a day to say goodbye. We could spread her ashes.”
“Yeah,” I conceded. “Something here. That works.”
“Okay,” she said, writing something on her list. “What about the house? Do you know if your parents had a will?”
“I have no idea. I don’t even know how she paid for it. She hasn’t worked in years.”
Aunt Ashley looked up at me in surprise. “Your dad.”
“What?”
“When your dad passed away he had a massive insurance policy, Aoife. That’s probably what you guys have been living on.”
I let out a huff of disbelief. “What?”
“I figured you knew,” she replied, shocked. “There has to be some left. We’ll have to get that figured out. If your mom was smart, she just paid off the house in full—” She went back to writing in her notebook.
“Wait, back up,” I demanded. “You’re telling me that my dad had a huge insurance policy?”
“I think it was close to a million dollars,” she replied with a nod.
I wanted to throw something. Hit something. Scream at the top of my lungs. It didn’t make any sense. I’d been scrimping and saving just to buy the kids school supplies, and the entire time we’d had a million fucking dollars? How was that possible?
“If she was smart, she would’ve paid off the house first—”
I lifted my hand to stop her from speaking, still reeling. I just needed a minute to wrap my head around it.
“Your dad was a planner,” Aunt Ashley said softly. “He wouldn’t have wanted you guys to struggle if something happened to him.”
“Then he shouldn’t have had kids with such a selfish bitch,” I spat without thinking. “Oh, my god .”
“There has to be some left,” Aunt Ashley said, ignoring my outburst. “We need to figure that out, too. It would come to you kids with your mom gone.”
“I don’t know, she was never short on cash for booze and God knows what else,” I argued. “She probably blew through it.”
“We’ll check.”
I nodded, but I had a feeling that money was gone. Why else would she have been stealing cash out of my wallet?
“We’ll go from there,” Aunt Ashley said, tapping her pen against the paper again.
“If your parents had a will then they would’ve made me your godparent.
That was always the plan when you were little, if anything happened to them.
Your dad had a sister back in Ireland—Saoirse was named after her—but from what I understand, her husband was a creep, so they hadn’t spoken in years. ”
“If you’re named godparent in their will, then that’s it, right?” I said, my stomach clenching. “The state wouldn’t have anything to say.”
“I think so,” she said. “The way you guys took off might’ve caused some shit—”
“We came out here for Cian’s birthday,” I cut in. “It was planned. Mom called and talked to you the day she died to confirm. When you call to let her know we’re here, and she doesn’t answer, you’ll get worried. Start calling hospitals.”
She stared at me in shock.
“We Kelly kids can think on our feet,” I said defensively.
“Yeah, I’m seeing that.”
“To be clear,” I said, not unkindly. The way she had automatically begun making lists and figuring out what we needed to do next was a huge relief, but it also made me very, very nervous. “The kids stay with me. It’s not up for discussion. Where I go, they go.”
“I never thought differently.”
“What we really need is for you to do is help make that happen.”
“Aoife,” she said softly, getting to her feet. She rounded the island and pulled me into a hug.
She was built like Mom. Like me. We were all the same height and build, but if I unfocused my eyes, Aunt Ashley looked exactly like my mother.
She felt like her, too.
I swallowed against the lump in my throat.
“Since the moment you were born, I would’ve done anything for you,” she said, rubbing my back. “Same with your brothers and sisters. I know I haven’t been around in a while, but that’s never changed, okay?”
I nodded.
“You guys can stay here as long as you need,” she said, giving me a squeeze before pulling back to look into my eyes. “If you want to eventually get a place, I’ll help make that happen. But I’m not going anywhere.”
“Okay,” I rasped, nodding.
“Now,” she said, letting me go. “Want a fancy coffee? Saoirse said you like mochas but you barely ever get them. That still your go-to? I’ve got an espresso machine.”
“Yeah,” I croaked, sitting down on the stool she’d left. “I like mochas.”
“Safe to come out?” Cian asked, poking his head around the corner.
“Dad had a million dollar insurance policy,” I blurted.
“The fuck?” he yelped.
“We can get into all that later,” Aunt Ashley said as the rest of the kids filtered out of the bedroom down the hall. “Now tell me about that boyfriend of yours.” She looked at me over her shoulder. “The kids had a lot to say about him. Richie, right?”
Cian scoffed. “She bailed on his ass.”
“Shut up, Cian.”
“He wanted to come with us,” Cian continued, ignoring me. “He went to go pack a bag, and we left before he got back.”
“Shut up , Cian,” I repeated. The reminder made my guts twist with remorse.
I’d done the right thing. I knew I’d done the right thing.
That didn’t mean that I felt good about it.
I missed Richie like a lost limb. With my mom, it still felt a little unreal.
I’d seen the wreck, I knew logically that she was gone, but we were so often without her that it didn’t feel any different yet.
I normally saw or spoke to Richie multiple times a day. I felt his loss with every breath.
“I’m sure he understands,” Aunt Ashley said sympathetically.
“Not likely,” Cian mumbled.
“Can we come out?” Aisling asked as she reached my stool.
“Ah, my namesake,” Aunt Ashley said with a grin. “You want an Italian soda?”
“I do,” Ronan said happily.
“I can do that,” Aunt Ashley said. “Look in the pantry and pick a flavor.”
“I didn’t realize Aisling was named after you,” Saoirse said with a snort. “I’m an idiot.”
“She got the Irish version,” Aunt Ashley said with a grin at Aisling. “Much better than mine.”
“Yours is easier to spell,” Aisling said shyly.
“But it doesn’t roll off the tongue as well,” Aunt Ashley said, mimicking my dad’s accent. Butchering it, really, but the intention was pure.
“At least you were named after someone,” I said, tugging gently on Aisling’s ponytail. “I just got a name they liked.”
“You knew my dad, too?” Aisling asked.
“Of course,” Aunt Ashley said, bringing me the coffee she’d made. “We were good friends, once upon a time.”
“Really?” Cian asked, leaning his elbows on the counter.
“Oh yeah.” Aunt Ashley laughed. “The three of us all ran around together before your parents settled down together, and I moved out here.”
“I didn’t know that,” I said in surprise.
“I actually introduced your parents,” Aunt Ashley replied, nodding as she went to the pantry, coming back out with a bottle of soda water. “Your dad was handsome as all get out, but not my type.” She grinned. “He was exactly your mom’s type, though.”
“What were they like?” Ronan asked curiously, setting a bottle of syrup on the counter.
“Oh, beautiful,” Aunt Ashley said wistfully. “Loud. Fun. Aoife looks a lot like your mom did when we were young, but with your dad’s coloring. Your dad took one look at her, and that was it. Your mom wasn’t much better. They were pretty inseparable from the moment they met.”
“Like you and Richie,” Aisling said, looking up at me.
I just nodded. She had no idea what I’d done and wouldn’t have understood it if I told her.
“Why did you move out here?” Cian asked curiously.
“I came out to go to grad school,” Aunt Ashley said as she made the kids their Italian sodas. “I planned to go back eventually, but I loved it out here so much that I ended up staying.”
“Can I have a coffee?” Saoirse asked, moving into the kitchen.
Aunt Ashley looked at me to make sure it was okay.
Something inside me settled as I nodded.