Chapter 16 #2
She didn’t meet his eyes, but she did nod. They walked over together, leaving some of the din behind, to a well-worn swing set. One was a tire swing, but two had floppy rubber seats. They sat next to each other, and Starr began to swing hard.
“Dominic has a boyfriend,” she said, apropos of nothing. “His name is Trey.”
“Yes, I know. I’ve met Trey.”
“You’re Lincoln’s boyfriend.”
“I am.”
“Mom says Dominic and Trey are in love, like Mom and Dad are in love. Are you and Lincoln in love too?”
Good grief, the girl had questions. And Emmett wasn’t sure how to answer this one.
He had strong feelings for Lincoln, absolutely, but they hadn’t even known each other for a month.
Love seemed way too soon. And too scary.
“Lincoln and I haven’t been boyfriends long enough to be in love. But I care about him a lot.”
“Good. Lincoln is my brother, too, like Dominic and Percell.”
“And I bet you’re an amazing sister.”
“The best sister ever. Dominic says so all the time.”
Emmett’s heart twisted hard, a sharp stab of pain over the loss of his own sister. His own parents. His home and his family. He swallowed hard. “If Dominic says it, then it must be true.”
“Yup. Dominic doesn’t lie anymore. He says lying only hurts his family, and he doesn’t ever want to hurt us.”
This time the sharp pain lancing through Emmett was shaped like guilt.
It stabbed at his insides, hot and harsh, because he was lying to this family.
Lying by omission, refusing to admit his part in Lincoln’s accident.
Dominic had been in the same accident, and while he’d barely been hurt, Lincoln might never fully recover.
He might go through the rest of his life battling dizzy spells, migraines, and bright lights, and it was all Emmett’s fault.
Starr started snapping her fingers on both hands, and Emmett tried to get his emotions under control. He’d read up a little on autism, and the finger snapping was her reacting to something. Probably his negative emotions.
“Family shouldn’t hurt each other,” Emmett said, uncertain how to soothe Starr’s ruffled feathers.
The snapping got louder, faster. “Lincoln’s family hurt him. I didn’t live here yet, but I know they did. I heard Mom and Dad talk about it once.”
“Yes, they did hurt him.” Emmett glanced over at Lincoln, who was talking animatedly with Taisha. “They were a bad family to Lincoln, but now he has you, your parents, and all of your siblings to love him.”
“And you too one day. When you’ve been together long enough.”
“I hope so, Starr. I really do.”
“Me too.” She frowned, her fingers calming more. “Dominic has a boyfriend. Lincoln has a boyfriend. Now Roxy needs a boyfriend.”
Emmett laughed at the earnest way she said that.
Roxy was nineteen, same as him. She had plenty of time to find a boyfriend—one who, he was certain, would have to pass a lot of rigorous screening from her entire family to be deemed worthy.
Emmett envied her that kind of love and support.
The Bounds family seemed to have accepted Emmett as a part of their lives, and he’d bask in the glory of their support while he had it.
He didn’t get another private moment with Lincoln until after eleven p.m., when they turned in for the night. Despite there being a spare room, Lincoln insisted they could share his bed and behave—not that Emmett had any plans on getting frisky with so many people on the same exact floor as them.
After they went through the routine of changing clothes and brushing teeth, they curled up in bed together, facing each other. Dim moonlight through the curtains painted dark shadows and silver spots across Lincoln’s face. A very happy, exhausted face.
“So what did you think of the crazy?” he asked.
“I adore them. You’re lucky to have them, Linc. I mean it.”
“I know how lucky I am.” The tender statement was followed by a wide, jaw-cracking yawn. “I think they adored you right back. Especially Starr.”
“She’s an angel. Your parents are amazing with her. Not many people would adopt an autistic child.”
“I know, and that sucks.” Lincoln blinked sleepy eyes at him. “Would you?”
“Would I what? Adopt an autistic child?”
“Any child. Do you want kids?”
Late at night and half asleep was a strange time for this particular conversation. “I honestly don’t know. Growing up it was expected of me to one day have a wife and children. Even when I realized I was gay, I knew my parents would still expect that of me.”
“Your parents are gone now. So are their expectations.”
“I guess.” Emmett had seventeen years’ worth of expectations to work through yet. Little by little, Lincoln was helping him break free. “I’m not even twenty, though. The idea of kids right now, any kind of kids, is a little daunting.”
“Sorry.” He didn’t look the least bit sorry.
“It’s okay. But maybe we can table the discussion for a later date?”
“Deal. Thank you for coming with me today.”
“You’re so welcome.” He pressed a chaste kiss to Lincoln’s lips. “I’m glad they’ll be at Unbound to watch you perform next month.”
“Me too. Considering a few months ago, no one ever thought I’d be onstage again, much less at a festival.”
“After listening to Zelda talk about how you push other people to be the best? I think you knew deep down it would happen again. I think believing it was too hard at the time, because you were still relearning your body. But you knew. You don’t know how to quit when you really want something.”
Lincoln’s eyes shined. “Damn straight, babe. Damn straight.”
Emmett held his gaze a moment longer, then kissed him again before rolling onto his side so Lincoln could curl up against his back.
He fell asleep slowly, safe and content in Lincoln’s arms, but still haunted by the secret he was keeping.
He’d have to tell Lincoln the truth eventually, but not yet.
Lincoln might hate him for it, dump him even, and Emmett couldn’t stand that. Not yet.
He needed Lincoln in his life for a little while longer.