Chapter 21 #2
The next song was a fast one, too, so they held back.
Emmett liked watching other people cut loose and laugh it up.
It helped loosen him up a bit more, until he was swaying with the beat.
Lincoln seemed to be waiting for a slow one, though, because eventually the DJ took to the microphone.
“Let’s have all the couples out there come to the dance floor for this next one,” he said.
Lincoln pulled him out to the wood floor in a tide of people exiting and entering.
“This song is a special request from the brother of the bride.”
Emmett startled. Lincoln only laughed and wrapped his arms around Emmett’s waist. Emmett rested his hands on Lincoln’s shoulders and waited.
The first haunting strains of “Bridge Over Troubled Water” drifted over him, and Emmett’s heart tripped.
Lincoln led him in a slow spin, their feet barely lifting as they moved, dancing to one of their songs.
He couldn’t resist singing along, quietly, so only Lincoln could hear.
He nearly lost himself in the depths of Lincoln’s eyes and in the beauty of the song itself.
All he knew was Lincoln and love and heat and always, and it shattered Emmett to know they didn’t have always.
They never would. Emmett loved Lincoln too much to keep lying.
I have to tell him the truth, even if it means losing him.
Not right then, though. Later. He didn’t want anything to ruin this moment, or to destroy Lincoln’s memories of the wedding. So he held tight to his love and his boyfriend, and for a tiny fraction of time, Emmett danced and he was free.
Lincoln dozed a bit on the drive back to Philadelphia. He hated sleeping if someone else was doing all the driving—checking out always felt way rude—but he’d had a second Jack and Coke on top of a migraine pill, so staying awake was proving difficult.
The entire day had gone better than he expected. He never did speak to his parents, and he was very much okay with that. They’d ended things eight years ago. Today had only served as a reminder that nothing had changed and never would. Lincoln had a whole new family, so all was well.
He was also insanely proud of Emmett for not only working through a panic attack on his own, but for coming out of that and dancing with Lincoln.
Those few minutes meant the world and more to Lincoln.
Emmett had left the wedding subdued, but Lincoln wasn’t worried.
He’d had an emotional day, on top of ten hours of roundtrip driving.
Emmett deserved a special treat when they got back.
They pulled into the driveway around ten.
Lights were still on in the living room.
After a cursory greeting to Robert and Zelda, they went upstairs.
Lincoln was too exhausted to manage that special treat, and Emmett didn’t seem up to more than undressing and snuggling close under the covers.
So they slept. He woke up hard, and Emmett helped him out with great enthusiasm.
Lincoln stifled his release with a pillow over his face, then reached for Emmett, who was soft in his shorts.
“Still stressed about yesterday, I guess,” he said.
Lincoln licked a spot of spunk off his chin. “Now I feel selfish.”
“Don’t.” He kissed Lincoln. “Mind if I shower first?”
The fatigue hanging off Emmett like a second skin kept Lincoln from protesting separate showers. “Go for it. I’ll wait here and plan all the ways I’m going to ravish you later.”
Emmett smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes.
Instead of dwelling on that, Lincoln checked his phone for messages while Emmett left the room.
Texts from Melody and Dominic, asking how the wedding went.
He group-texted an update to both of them, plus Roxy, so she didn’t totally pounce on him when he got home.
Then he played a game on his phone while he waited for the shower.
Hot water and shampoo hadn’t done much to reenergize Emmett.
He slunk into the room and got dressed like an old man.
Lincoln tried not to dwell on that too much while he took a quick shower.
The weekend had probably worn him out. Anxiety attacks were stressful, plus all the driving.
He just needed his own bed and a good night’s sleep.
Emmett wasn’t in their room, so Lincoln threw on shorts and a T-shirt before going downstairs.
Zelda had breakfast going, and Lincoln helped himself to a mug of coffee.
He tracked Emmett down to the living room, where Starr was watching something on TV.
Emmett was staring in that direction from the couch, but seemed totally zoned out.
“You look like you want to go back to bed,” Lincoln said as he eased down next to him. “Coffee?”
“I’m okay.” Emmett leaned in so their shoulders touched. “Tired.”
“No kidding.”
“You up to driving home today?”
“You can’t.”
Lincoln shrugged. “I mean, technically I could, but we do run the risk of vertigo causing us to crash, and I’d like to avoid anymore car wrecks for at least a few years.”
Emmett’s epic frown assured him that his attempt at humor had fallen totally flat. “I’m okay to drive, I promise. No more wrecks. Don’t even joke about that.”
“Okay, I’m sorry.” He squeezed Emmett’s knee, because both of his hands were tucked tight in his lap. “I shouldn’t joke about that stuff.”
“You’re right. It isn’t funny.”
Zelda called out that breakfast was ready. The TV went off and all three of them herded to the kitchen table for scrambled eggs, sausage, and toast. Emmett slowly choked down a few bites of egg and a single triangle of toast, and Lincoln wasn’t the only one to notice.
“You feeling all right this morning, sweetheart?” Zelda asked.
“Really tired,” Emmett replied. “Delayed reaction to yesterday’s stress. I’m just . . . ready to go home and rest.”
“I understand. Now if you aren’t up to driving today, you say the word. Robert will drive your car, and I’ll follow down in ours to retrieve him.”
“Oh my, no, you don’t have to do that. I’m fine to drive, I promise. But thank you for offering.”
“Of course. You’re dating one of my kids, so that makes you family.”
Lincoln’s chest swelled with pride at her words—not only being referred to as one of Zelda’s kids, but her complete acceptance of Emmett in their lives.
“Thank you,” Emmett said. His voice was rough, and Lincoln swore he was blinking back tears. He squeezed Emmett’s thigh beneath the table. Emmett met his gaze with his first real smile of the day. “You too.”
He kissed Emmett’s cheek. “I hover because I love you.”
“Love you, too.”
Emmett seemed more energetic after breakfast. Definitely not his old self, but some of the fog had lifted, and they played board games with Starr until eleven.
The drive south wasn’t too bad for a Sunday in July, since a lot of the weekenders were heading in the opposite direction.
Traffic got worse once they hit the shore, and Emmett pulled up in front of Lincoln’s house a little after three.
“You want to come in for a bit?” Lincoln asked when Emmett left the engine idling.
“Not today. Honestly, Linc, all I want to do is faceplant in my bed until tomorrow.”
Lincoln wanted to point out that he could easily faceplant in Lincoln’s bed and sleep as long as he wanted, but something in Emmett’s eyes made him keep quiet. Emmett seemed almost desperate for some time apart, and Lincoln wasn’t such a jerk that he’d deny him that. Even couples needed alone time.
“Okay. Call me, though, if you need anything. Even just to talk.”
Emmett nodded, then leaned over the console to kiss him lightly on the mouth. “Thank you for this weekend. Despite the stress, I loved so many parts of it.”
High praise, considering. “You’re welcome. Get some rest, okay?”
“You too.”
Watching Emmett drive away from the house left Lincoln unsettled in a way he couldn’t describe, even to himself.
Something had changed between him and Emmett this weekend, but he didn’t know what or how.
All he knew was that he loved Emmett more than ever, and he’d do whatever it took to keep things right between them.
No matter what.
Emmett did exactly what he told Lincoln he was going to do—he crawled into bed and stayed there for the rest of the night. His guilt stone made moving nearly impossible, never mind foraging for food. No one bothered him until long after dark, when Adrian came into his room.
“How was the wedding?” he asked.
“Except for my epic panic attack? Fun.” Emmett rolled to face his cousin, who was leaning against the shut bedroom door. “His sister was really nice. Lincoln and I danced together at the reception.”
“That’s cool. Kind of like coming out without words.”
“Kind of.”
“So why are you here alone, instead of with your boyfriend? Overexposure?”
“I love him.”
Adrian’s eyebrows arched. “Good for you. Honestly. He loves you, too, I guess?”
“Yes. That’s why I have to tell him.”
“Tell him what? That you love him?”
“About the accident.”
“What?” Adrian knelt beside the bed, putting them at eye level, his expression as intense as it had been the night he told Emmett the truth about the hit-and-run. “Why now?”
Emmett’s insides twisted up so tight he could barely breathe, much less talk.
“He tells people how amazing I am, how great a person I am, and all I can do is see someone I nearly killed. I could have taken him away from his sister, who was so happy to have him at her wedding. I could have taken him away from Roxy and Dominic and all the other Boundses. Me, Adrian. I love Lincoln, but I’m lying to him. ”
He wasn’t sure when the first tears started leaking. Adrian pulled a tissue from the box on his side table and shoved it at him, his own face blotchy. Emmett sat up and blew his nose. His entire body ached, his heart hurt, and he was pretty sure his soul was weeping, too.
“We even talked about the future this weekend,” Emmett said.
“About if we ever wanted to get married, or to have kids. Things couples talk about when they’re building a life together, and I can’t start that life with this lie between us.
The longer I wait, the worse it will be when he finds out. I’ve almost told him more than once.”
“What stopped you?”
“You.”
Adrian’s head jerked. “Me?”
“I don’t want to get you in trouble for keeping this a secret all year. For being in the truck with me. Hiding the dent.”
“Do you really think Lincoln would turn us in to the cops?”
“I don’t know. I don’t think so, but he’d want to tell the others who were in the car with him. Dominic, Benji, Joshua, Tyson. They were all hurt, especially Joshua. He nearly died, too. One of them might want to make us pay.”
Adrian sat on the bed beside him, then looked at his lap. Emmett braced for a fight. Pleas or threats, anything for Emmett to stay silent. Except when Adrian raised his head again, his eyes were damp, his face resigned. “Okay.”
“Okay what?”
“Tell Lincoln the truth. Whatever happens is what happens. We made bad choices last summer, Em. Both of us. We gotta face the consequences sometime, right?”
Emmett’s heart broke a little bit. “Yeah, we do. Should we tell your mom first?”
“No. Lincoln deserves to know first.”
He grabbed his phone to check the time, but the battery was dead.
“It’s after eleven,” Adrian said. “Tomorrow. It can wait twelve more hours.”
The confession could wait twelve hours. Knowing that he would completely implode his relationship tomorrow loomed ahead of him like the executioner’s platform, moving toward him by inches.
Emmett wasn’t certain how he was going to make it through the night without completely losing his mind.
Adrian solved that problem by bringing shot glasses and a bottle of Fireball into his room. And after a little while, Emmett was finally, blessedly numb.