Chapter 20 Shane
TWENTY
SHANE
I’ve been in some nerve-wracking situations.
Two outs, I’m up to bat, down by one. All the pressure on my shoulders. I strike out, game over.
Bottom of the ninth, tie game, opponent at the plate—one wrong move, one hesitation, and we lose.
None of that can compare to what I did a moment ago. I threw down the gauntlet. Fucking hell. I just stripped for Jed Stone Jr. And now I’m naked, sprawled across his bed. Pretty sure I’m going to throw up. Wouldn’t that just be so sexy.
The chub I’d had going is completely gone now. The funny thing is, no matter what happens, I’m equally as nervous. He’s either sending me home—which will be embarrassing as all hell and devastating—or we’re hooking up. I could be hooking up with a man tonight.
My fingers shake, so I bury them behind my head. There. Casual. Elbows folded loose and easy. I slide a foot up and bend my knee. No nerves here. I’m the fucking picture of nonchalance.
And holy shit, this apartment is nice. I hadn’t had a chance to notice because I was too busy internally freaking out.
It’s got fancy lights that hang from the ceiling on either side of the bed.
A brick wall that makes it seem not so fancy, but it's understated expensive all the way. Industrial chic. And the view of the cityscape from his floor-to-ceiling bedroom windows? There’s a huge price tag on that.
I chew my cheek. Wonder what the great Jed Stone Jr. will think when he finds out he’s slummed it with me. My stomach squirms. Maybe this was a horrible idea. I’m not good enough for someone like Jed.
Soft footsteps pad toward the room. My muscles lock tight.
Oh god. Ohgodohgodohgod.
Jed pauses in the doorway and leans against the frame.
My vision dots over, and he fades in and out. Shit. Why can’t I see? My lungs burn, my chest seizes. Oh. Right. I draw in a gasping breath. Breathing is important. For living and…stuff.
Jed slowly comes back into focus, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen him look so soft. His eyebrows are pinched, and his dark eyes swim with concern. For me? Some of my anxiety fades.
“You talked a big game out there.” His voice is firm, measured. “You sure this is what you want?”
“Yes,” I burst out. “Totally. One hundred thousand percent.” But it comes out a bit wheezy.
He crosses his arms and lifts his brows. Yeah, he so doesn’t believe me.
I throw on a flirty smile and run my hands down my chest and abs. “You’re telling me you don’t want to get with this?”
His gaze is glued to where my hands hover above my pubes. I slide them slightly lower. His lips part, and my cock thickens. His attention on me is heady. My skin is alive, burning, tingling, needing more of that appreciation, needing to feel it.
“Oh, I want,” he says thickly. His stare flicks back to mine. “But this is a two-way street. I don’t know where your head is at. I’m not about to be your great gay experiment. If you’re not completely ready for this, I’m out.”
“Could you come closer?” I whine. “You being fully clothed and across the room while I’m naked, balls in your face, is really not helping my nerves.”
He’s at my side in three strides, shirt gone on the way.
I let out an unsteady breath as my attention pings over every inch of his bare torso.
Dusting of dark chest hair. Thick, round pecs.
Pierced nipple. I bite my lip. Yeah. That helps.
His six-pack is built—heavy, defined muscles, like he works for it.
I’ve never had to work for mine. I’m extremely in shape, but my abs stem from leanness.
Jed’s? He built them brick by brick. I want to lick them.
I want to follow that line of dark hair that disappears into his jeans. Lick other things.
“That’s a little more convincing.” His hoarse words fill the room. “When you look at me like that, I can almost believe you do want this.”
I stroke my now hard dick, and the movement draws his attention.
“Does this help?” I say huskily. “I promise I want this. No doubts. Just nerves. Nerves are normal, right? I’ve never been with a man.”
His fists are balled at his sides, jaw tight and ticking. He’s the picture of barely leashed restraint. Over me. It’s sexy as fuck.
“To think I brought you to a gay bar to try to scare you off,” he says hoarsely.
I chuckle. Yeah, that backfired. “There is one thing I take issue with, though,” I say softly. His dark eyes snap to mine. “You’re still wearing too many clothes.”
“I suppose we should rectify that then.”
“You mean…rectum-fy.” I waggle my eyebrows. Because, yeah, definitely hoping we go there.
He lets out a sigh and glances heavenward, like I’m the most exasperating person to walk this earth. But his mouth tightens against a smile, and my heart beams. I think I might be growing on him. Finally. Just had to whip out my dick to get there. Who would’ve thought?
He pops the button of his jeans and slowly pulls down the zipper.
“Yeah. Nope. Too slow.” I lurch forward and yank his jeans down to his knees. And oh, heaven help me. I’m literally seconds away from rubbing my face against his dick imprint like a fucking cat. Like, look at that thing. It’s a beast. I’d like to get acquainted with it.
His chuckle echoes through the room, and he finishes kicking out of his pants. “Okay. Now, all reservations are gone. Your impatience helps.” He dips a thumb into the waistband of his boxers. “On or off?”
I stare at him incredulously. “Are you really asking me that? Dude, show me your dick already.”
“Jeez. You could have asked a little more nicely.”
His tone is teasing, and I really fucking like it. Like this side of him. Like every new side of him I’ve seen tonight.
I flutter my eyelashes and drop my voice. “Please, Jed. Put me out of my misery and let me see that pretty dick. Please.”
“You,” he says tightly. “Are fresh.”
I mean. Yeah, I am. And if the way his dick twitched is any indication, he likes my attitude. Noted. Bring on the Brat activated. I’m going to make sure this man can’t resist me.
He drops his boxers, and my eyes pop wide.
“Holy fucking shit, Jed. Pebbles is soooo not the right nickname for you.”
Like I knew. I could see the outline of the monster before he rid himself of his boxers.
But now it’s pointing straight at me, his not-at-all-small balls hanging heavy beneath it.
It’s looking at me. And it’s hella intimidating.
Pretty sure if he hit me over the head with that hammer, it’d knock me flat out.
“Hence why there’s no fucking happening tonight. Your virgin hole couldn’t handle me, Sunshine.”
I bristle. “I could too.” What? Shut up, Shane. Like, do I want my asshole shredded to smithereens?
Jed just laughs and shakes his head. “You’re something else, you know that?
First of all, there are certain preparations you would want to do ahead of time.
That, and even experienced men have trouble with me.
Unless I find myself a size-queen, having a large dick isn’t actually all that great when it comes to the queer hookup scene. ”
I bite my lip and study him. Interesting. “So…does that mean you don’t usually do the fucking?”
He strokes himself slowly, and my brain disappears.
He’s uncut. It’s fascinating. It’s not so different right now except there’s some extra skin gathered beneath the head, kind of like a little penis scarf, and he keeps sliding it back over his head.
Huh. I wonder what that feels like. The head disappears and reappears inside his foreskin.
“Oh, no. I exclusively top.”
I shake myself out of my dick-stupor and look up at him.
“I don’t bottom. Tried it, and it wasn’t for me. But I don’t need penetrative sex to enjoy sex. Not all queer men like anal sex. You can have a lot of fun with a dick without sticking it in an ass, just saying.”
“They should put that on a bumper sticker.” I feel like Frankie would love that. Hmm. Maybe a Christmas gift for him.
His dark eyes shine with amusement. “The things you come up with.” He shakes his head. “Regardless, when it comes to sex, it’s all preference. Even the way men like anal can be different. I’ve been with men who want to be railed so hard I’m practically splitting them in half.”
“Nrgh.” My fist tightens on my shaft. I almost raise my hand. Because, yes, sir. Please, sir. The visual of Jed Stone Jr. going to town on my ass? Count me in. Not tonight. But hashtag goals.
His dark chuckle slips over my skin, and the bed dips as he finally joins me. He softly bats my hand away, and his fingers close around my shaft. A choked sound leaves me, and my back bows. Thick. Warm. Calloused. Fingers. They’re so big. I let out a shaky exhale.
He rests on his forearm next to my head.
“Others don’t want a ton of movement,” he whispers as he slowly strokes me, light and loose.
“Just the fullness.” His breath dusts over my lips, and they tingle in anticipation.
“The connection.” Those lips graze over mine, and my body sparks to life.
Zaps of electricity streak beneath my skin.
“I’m game for just about anything. Whatever you want is what I want. ”
“That sounds really nice,” I say breathlessly. And it does. “You are totally welcome to park your dick in my ass. I’ll keep it nice and warm for you.”
His head drops to my neck, and a half-groan, half-laugh bursts against my skin.
“Again. Not happening tonight.”
I’m not sure he means the words the way they sound. But they sound like I have a shot at more than one night. Silly ole Shane is going to hold on to that hope.