Chapter 46 Shane
FORTY-SIX
SHANE
A muted ringing surrounds me. I roll over. It grows louder. My eyes pop open, my phone’s ringtone echoing through my bedroom. I clumsily reach for it, still half asleep. My vision focuses on the incoming call. JJ.
I quickly accept the video call, and his face fills the screen. And so does the top of his shirtless torso. My stomach flips over. “Hey.”
His soft voice drifts through my speaker. “Hey, Sunshine.”
Fuck. I miss him.
“Looks like you’re finally up.”
I check the time in the corner. Yikes. It’s past ten.
“Guess I slept in.” I shoot him a sheepish smile.
We’ve got another night game tonight. Looks like my body is taking advantage of the later start. My mom’s flying out tonight too. Speaking of, I think I hear her voice coming from the kitchen. She’s been popping in every day and cooking for us. Our freezer is stocked.
“You needed it. Hopefully, you can get a few good nights in to recharge.”
“How are you holding up?” I take in his features. His eyes are bright, his jaw soft. No bags under his eyes. He looks better.
“I’m doing all right. Last night was a little easier, but kind of worse once I got back here.”
My fingers tighten on the phone. “I’m sorry I couldn’t call.”
He shakes his head. “None of that. I chatted with Shelbs for a bit. I don’t want you killing yourself. I was nervous enough with you driving back to Providence on no sleep yesterday morning.”
“I’d do it again in a heartbeat.”
His lips tilt up. “I know. But we’ll figure this out so we’re not depriving ourselves of sleep, yeah?”
“About that…” I bite my lip. “We didn’t get a chance to talk too much when I was visiting, but…uh…just wanted confirmation. We’re doing this, right? Like long-distance relationship. Because I don’t know if I made it clear, but that’s what I want. I’m all in. I want to make this work.”
He grins at me, and my insides melt. God, I love it when he smiles.
“I was hoping that’s what our confessions of love meant.” His dark brown eyes dance. “So, yes, Sunshine, we’re doing this. And so there’s no mistaking how serious I am about this—us. I was kind of hoping…once off-season hits…you’d want to move in with me?”
Oh wow. Wowowow. I’m nodding like a fool and literally all I can see in my little window on the screen are my fucking teeth from my ridiculously huge smile.
He lets out a relieved breath. “Okay. Good. That’s good.”
“You thought I’d say no?”
He pops a shoulder and his nipple piercing peeks into the screen. “It’s fast. I didn’t want it to be too much, too soon.”
“Not too fast. There is no such thing as too fast for me with you. Like, literally, you could ask me to go to Vegas right now, and I’d be packing my bag. Once we hit off-season, I want every second I can get with you before we report back.”
He cocks his head, eyes crinkled. “Did you just…” He gasps, his frame shaking with suppressed laughter. “Drop that you’d get Vegas married to me?”
“I did, didn’t I? Whoops. So, like, probably shouldn’t go do that tomorrow. And maybe not Vegas. But one day? If that’s something you want?”
“You asking me if marriage is on the table, Sunshine?”
Heat spills over my cheeks. Shit. I guess I am. Woof. And the way he said that? There was something heady in the low timber of his words, a dark satisfaction. I nod slowly.
“You’d be all right with that? Marrying a man…I just want to make sure you’ve thought that through.”
The hesitation in his voice kills me. I’ve introduced a layer of insecurity to what’s between us with everything that happened with my father. I hate that. I hate that I questioned myself. That I questioned us.
“Yeah, JJ.” I sit up and hold the phone in front of me.
I want him to know how serious I am. “I know the past week I haven’t inspired the most confidence in you when it comes to us, but I’m all in.
I want to be your person, your support. I know it’s not always going to be easy, and I know there are going to be haters. I can handle that.”
The doubts hit me hard after my dad. I was nervous I wasn’t enough for someone like Jed.
He’s…God, he’s fucking perfect. And then there’s me.
The poor kid from Tampa, a guy who couldn’t even land a best friend until he was twenty-one.
No one has ever wanted or needed me before, besides my amazing momma.
Until East and Pauls. Until Jed. I am what he needs. When he fell apart, he sought me out. I saved him. Just like he saved me. Partners. Fighting the world together, weathering any trial life throws at us.
I’m fucking ready.
He’s my Batman, and I’m his Robin. All day.
I draw in a breath. Then let it out. And with it, something I’ve held on to for far too long.
“I am done with that asshole. I wish I’d written him off sooner.
But he doesn’t deserve to know me, and he doesn’t deserve to have an impact on me or sway in my life.
I’m not going to let him get in the way of loving you.
So whatever you want, I’m there for it. You want to publicly come out, I’ll be by your side bragging about getting to be your man.
You want to get married, just let me know how wild I can go with my tux.
You want kids? My only question will be how many. ”
“Easy there, Surfer Boy.” He covers his smile with his hand and shakes his head. I can see it dancing in his eyes: You’re something else, Sunshine.
And he loves it. That I’m ridiculous. That I’m kind of extra. He truly does.
He loves me.
“I hope that wasn’t too much, but I kinda can’t be anything else with you. I want it all.”
His smile fades, and his gaze turns fond. “Me too, babe.” His throat bobs. “It’s not something I even dared to contemplate before you. My future wasn’t up for grabs. But you slid into my life, all stupidly smooth base stealing and blinding smiles…and stole my forever along with it.”
“I am really good at stealing. Plus…you did steal my position. It’s only fair I stole something of yours.”
His face splits into a beaming smile. “Tit for tat.”
“I think I got the better deal,” I whisper.
We grin at each other and sit there, just staring like fools, and damn it, I wish I could crawl through the screen and kiss him.
His gaze dips for a second. “It would be kind of cool one day…” His eyes flick back up to mine. “Not any time soon,” he clarifies with emphasis. “But I grew up in clubhouses. Imagine if we manage to both stay with the Jetties…raising a son here together. I don’t know…”
Well, fuck. My eyes flood, and Jed’s face wavers in and out. A family? My heart constricts. Yes, yes, and more yes. I let out a sniff and stuttered breath. “He would be, like, the most talented baseball player ever with our genes.”
Jed chuckles. “Don’t think science can make that work quite yet, babe.”
I humph. Yet. He underestimates my determination.
A throat clears, and my gaze shoots to the doorway and lands on Mom.
“Sorry to interrupt, but I heard you talking and thought you might be hungry. And…I may or may not have overheard something about a son. Just so you know, if that ever happens, I am quitting my job immediately and moving in so I can be a full-time grandparent.”
My attention falls back on the screen, and I raise my eyebrows. “Looks like we’ve already got childcare figured out.”
Jed grins. “Sounds like a damn good plan for our future. All right. Go eat something and hang out with your mom. I’m heading out in a bit to meet Shelby for lunch before I head to the clubhouse.”
“I’ll text you.”
“You better.”
“Video call tonight after our games?”
“It’s a date.”
I like the sound of that. I press a kiss to my fingers and touch my screen. “Love you, JJ.”
He mimics me and presses his kiss to the screen. “Love you too, Shane.”
The distance will be tough, but it means I get this. This man. This man’s love.
I’m the luckiest man in the world.