Chapter 20
Cam was impressed.
His dad waited until the next morning, even until he was done with his breakfast and nearly done with his coffee, before he turned to him with a wry smile and said, “So you and Dawson Hall, huh?”
“Daaaaad,” Cam whined. He’d known it was coming. Had lain awake last night, alone in his bed for what felt like the first time in months, and not only missed Dawson, but wondered what his dad was going to say about it.
He couldn’t pretend with Shane; he never could.
“Just saying, you two looked . . .uh . . .pretty cozy there.”
Cam wanted to sink through the floor. “Dad.”
“I’m just saying. I’d have let you two go, but I thought if I did, I might see more than I bargained for.”
Turning towards the sink, Cam could feel how red hot the skin of his neck was, exposed by the loose collar of his T-shirt—though if he was being totally transparent, he was pretty sure this was actually Dawson’s T-shirt.
“You don’t want to talk about it?” Shane asked.
“About me and Dawson nearly having sex in front of you? No. Really, I don’t. I don’t know what gave it away.”
His dad just laughed. “No, I’m not even that enlightened. I mean, do you want to talk about how you’re in love with him?”
Cam didn’t really want to talk about that either. Not that it was bad. It was not bad. The furthest thing from bad. But he’d barely gotten a chance to do a mental fist pump that he and Daws were finally on the same page, relationship-wise, never mind actually celebrate that Dawson knew it too.
Rinsing off the plates in the sink, he took a long moment to compose himself before he finally turned to face his father.
He’d been hearing since he was a kid how his dad had a kind face. And it was kind now. The basic level of kindness, sure, but also more, like he’d gone out of his way to keep every bit of judgment out of it.
“Last time we talked about him, you were still determined to keep it casual,” Shane pointed out, leaning forward, his elbows propped on the counter. It was still a little unbelievable to Cam that his dad was here at all, in Toronto and in his apartment.
There was the truth and then there was the carefully constructed fabric of unspoken semi-truths and fictions he and Dawson had been operating under. Though they had cut through them last night. Come clean with each other. Or mostly clean, anyway.
Cam hadn’t told Dawson he was in love with him, even though he was pretty sure he was. Even more sure now, because his dad had taken one look at them together and had known. Not just wondered, but known.
“Not anymore, though, I think . . .” Cam swallowed his concerns, and bared his heart. “I think it was never really very casual between us.”
It was what his dad had been claiming for a month, but to give him credit, Shane didn’t immediately say, I told you so.
“Yeah? You guys talk about it finally?”
“We’re starting to, yeah. Last night, we went out and it was a real date. I meant it as a date and Dawson thought it was a date, too. So we’re . . .um . . .dating.”
Shane smiled, full of genuine happiness. “That’s great. You’re happy about it?”
“Fucking thrilled,” Cam said, then shot his dad a look. “Would’ve been a little happier if you hadn’t showed up right in the middle of the we’re boyfriends, now celebration.”
“Sorry,” Shane said, wincing. “I really thought the surprise would be good. And you’ve been a little distant—”
Cam opened his mouth to argue. He hadn’t been distant. Okay. Maybe he had been, a little bit. Sticking to texts, instead of calling. But he’d been busy, and if he was being totally honest, preoccupied with Dawson.
“You don’t have to argue about it,” Shane said gently but sternly. “It’s okay if you were. I know it’s okay. I should be . . .” He trailed off. Looking, to Cam’s shock, a little guilty about it. “I should be okay with it. You’re a grown-up. Making your own life. I should let go, easier.”
“Should you?” Cam wondered. He couldn’t imagine a world in which they weren’t close, even if they weren’t in the same geographic location.
Maybe that was because for so long, it had just been the two of them, and also because his dad had never held him too close.
Just close enough, as far as Cam was concerned.
He’d always wanted Cam to fly.
“I should,” Shane said wryly, looking guilty, still. “But I don’t want to.”
“Well, I don’t want you to. I know I’ve been busy, and not calling, the way I should.” Cam felt guilt surge through him. Sure, his dad had his whole life back in Montana, but now that Cam really thought about it, it was probably somewhat empty without him in it.
“I’m not here because you didn’t call as much,” his dad admitted. “I’m just . . .I don’t know, I just felt like I needed to see you. I know we said in a few weeks, for Thanksgiving, and through the holidays, but . . .”
The words Shane wasn’t saying were easy enough to hear.
“You know you’re always welcome, Dad,” Cam said softly. “I know the couch isn’t very comfortable, but I’m happy for you to stay.”
“Even if I put a crimp into your relationship?”
“You aren’t,” Cam insisted. Even though he kind of had, already.
Still, he wanted to believe what Dawson had said, which was that in time, with Dawson and his dad becoming more comfortable together and Dawson and Cam growing more used to their relationship, it wouldn’t be weird anymore for Dawson to stay over.
Or for Cam to go with him to his apartment.
“Kinda am,” Shane said dryly. “Sorry about that.”
Cam decided he didn’t like it when his dad looked guilty. It was even worse when he sounded guilty. Like he was gate-crashing on Cam’s life, when he wasn’t, not at all.
How could he be when Cam was so genuinely happy he was here? When he’d missed him, too?
So he changed the subject. “What are you doing about the business while you’re gone?”
“You know it gets slow in the winter,” Shane said. “And there’s another vet in town, now, so it’s not just me. I’m . . .” He cleared his throat. “I’m not as needed as I was before.”
“Silver didn’t edge you out, did she?” Silver was the other vet in town—she was much younger than Shane, at least two decades younger, and had been a few years ahead of Cam in high school, but they’d known each other. The town was small enough it was impossible not to.
“No, nah, nothing like that,” Shane argued, but there was an edge of melancholy to his voice that Cam didn’t know how to ask about. He’d never heard his dad sound like that, before.
“What did she do?” Cam asked. It was easier to focus on Silver than it was on Shane, who despite his silvering hair, had never seemed particularly old and definitely never defeated. But there was something now, and Cam didn’t like it.
“Nothing. Really.” Shane laughed, but he didn’t sound very amused. “It’s fine. Silver’s great. And her being around in town means I can fuck off and come to Toronto and visit you.”
“Alright, if you say so,” Cam said. But he didn’t really believe all that was true. There was something going on with his dad, and he was going to get to the bottom of it. “I am really glad you could get away. Come to Toronto. It’s a really cool city.”
“What happened to you being apprehensive about it?” his dad teased gently.
Cam flushed. “Well, Daws and I have been doing some exploring. Since, you know, he’s new to Toronto, too. And that’s been really cool.”
“Seeing it through the eyes of love, huh?”
“Shhh, you can’t say that shit, he’s going to freak out again, and I don’t want—”
Shane’s gaze sharpened and he interrupted. “Dawson is going to freak out if he finds out you’re in love with him? You mean, he doesn’t know?”
“Well, not yet,” Cam soothed. “Of course not yet. We just got together, officially. It’s . . .it’s a little fast for big love confessions.”
“Not when he’s in love with you, too.”
“Dad, you don’t know that’s true,” Cam argued, even though he was pretty sure Daws was. There was a way he looked at him, like they were the only two people on the planet, and Cam had always imagined that was how someone in love might gaze at him.
“I saw him. I saw you. Definitely saw enough,” Shane teased.
“That’s just—” Cam broke off. He didn’t want to say it was just sex, because even he knew that it wasn’t.
They hadn’t been apart for a single night in weeks, and they weren’t fucking every night.
A lot of nights, sure, but not every night.
And yet Dawson had never wanted to leave his bed, or wanted Cam to leave his.
“Cam, son, you can believe whatever you want, but you two are serious about each other.”
“I want us to be,” Cam agreed in a soft voice.
“You’ll get there.”
Cam had been believing that was true since the very beginning and nothing had ever made him sway from that belief. Maybe that was what made it easier to be patient, now.
“Anyway,” Cam said, “you’ll get to see how cool Toronto is, now. And you’ll have to come in, meet the guys.”
“I’d like that,” Shane said.
“I bet you I could even get you into the facility. You could come work out. Watch some practices,” Cam said.
Shane raised an eyebrow. “You’d want that?”
“Dad, you’ve never been weird about me being a football player. I can’t imagine you’re going to start now.”
“You really wouldn’t mind?”
“Dad, what are you even going to do while you’re here?”
“Play tourist? Catch up on my reading? Become a lump on your couch?” Shane chuckled self-consciously.
On the counter in front of him, his phone buzzed. It was a text from Dawson. Still up for carpooling this morning?
It wasn’t everything Cam wanted, but he’d take it anyway.
“Well, enjoy that stuff today,” Cam said. “I’ll talk to Coach Robertson today and Marty—I’m sure they won’t mind.”
“I don’t want to be a bother. Or an imposition.” His dad was looking awkward again. “I should’ve told you I was coming. Should’ve not come until we’d planned.”