14. Magnolia
FOURTEEN
Magnolia
The hours blur into days, and the days blur into weeks and then a month.
Then another. The intermittent chill of December is in the Florida air, and I’m a hollow shell of disbelief.
I shut Aidan out completely. For only one reason: Kendall is getting better.
She’s happier than she’s ever been now that my attention is solely focused on her.
She confessed about her dalliance with an older teenager down at the beach, gave me very few details about him, but said he made her sad and confused.
That was the reason she gave for the shared kiss. I had to accept it.
There are several voicemails on my cell phone pleading for a call back.
I can’t bring myself to delete them, I listen to them every night before I cry myself to sleep.
Aidan showed up to my work a week after the kiss heard round the world.
My heart skipped a beat, but then my brain delivered the bad news, and it stopped altogether for a beat or two.
Aidan is bad news. I knew it all along. A tiger can’t change its stripes.
He begged me to listen to him. Pleaded on his knees, in fact.
Told me a story about how some guy at his work poisoned Kendall’s mind and told her lies.
That Kendall kissed him because she knew I’d see it.
She wanted to destroy the relationship because she thought he would hurt me in the end.
He was tearful as he delivered his side of the story hoping I’d accept it… and him. Did I believe him?
I did. I think, anyway. But it didn’t matter.
Kendall adamantly denied the whole thing.
Given the option of believing my daughter or believing Aidan, he has to know I’ll always choose her side.
I’ll always choose her. What message would it send to Kendall if I said, “I know you’re telling me that Aidan kissed you back and that you were confused and sad, but Aidan said something different, and I’m not only going to believe him, but I’m going to continue dating him?
” Aidan refused to give me the name of the SEAL in question, and as much sense as it makes, I can’t see Kendall entangling herself with someone that much older than herself. She knows better.
I’m cleaning the antique store, putting the finishing touches on the holiday window display which is a head tilt toward the Nutcracker ballet but formed entirely with small, ceramic trinkets.
It’s been a welcome distraction. My love life is in shambles.
It’s as if the universe said, “Here is your happily ever after, Magnolia. Just kidding. You don’t get one of those. ”
Jenny comes in through the back door, her sing-song greeting alerting me to company. “It’s looking so good, Magnolia. How was your day?”
“Fine,” I reply. “What brings you here? I told you yesterday, I’m fine. You can’t just pop in all the time.” Every other day, without calling first, Jenny is by my side.
“No, you put on the ‘I’m fine’ face and attitude for Kendall. I get that. You’re definitely not okay, and I’m here so you can tell me every single way in which you’re not fine.”
I shake my head and clear a speck of dust off a mirror, which is acting as a skating pond.
“I’ve been thinking a lot about that time he came here and told me his side of the story.
It makes more and more sense as time passes, you know?
I don’t see any way around this. Kendall is happy.
” I say the last sentence because Jenny is a mother, and she will immediately know the magnitude of that.
“She’s even thinking of letting Paul visit her here.
I’m not even sure if that’s a good thing or not, but it’s progress.
” I swallow hard. “I can’t fuck everything up again.
I’m too scared. I went out on a limb, and look what happened. It broke.”
“It did. Snapped like a motherfucking twig, didn’t it?” Jenny says. She sits down on a low stool next to me after locking the front door of Magnolia’s Steals. “You do realize that’s normal, right? Broken trees and all? Relationships tend to be a little messy.”
“If you just came here for a pep talk or to make me feel bad about myself, you can just go.”
Jenny groans. “You are such a drag these days. We have the fundraiser tonight, remember? I didn’t want to wait to meet you at Betsy’s because I have a name for you.
” I glare at my best friend, and she looks frightened, her eyes flaring wide.
“I can’t believe I’m breaking her trust like this, Magnolia.
Don’t make me regret it. I’m going to regret it.
I wish I didn’t overhear. I mean, I’m glad I overheard.
Oh, shit. I don’t know what I think anymore!
I know the name of the boy Kendall was seeing. Down at the beach. The boy.”
“Tell me,” I yell, then cover my mouth. It came out louder than I anticipated. I think I have an idea, but a name would give me something to go on and try to piece together this mess a little better.
“Now you want to be my friend. Jerk,” Jenny says, eyes narrowed. “I was listening in the other night, and Kendall said something to Juliet about someone named Leo.”
“Leo?” I furrow my brow. “I’ve never heard that name before. She’s never brought him up. She said he was older, so maybe he’s at the community college a couple of counties north?”
Jenny shrugs. “Not a familiar name to me either. I overheard her say it was who she was seeing when they biked down to the beach. It sounds like they might still be seeing each other.”
“What? Fuck,” I cry out, putting my face in both of my hands. Is that the real reason she’s happy? Maybe her jubilant happiness has nothing to do with Aidan and me at all. Where the hell is the kid instruction manual when you need one? “What am I supposed to do, Jenny?”
“You find out who the hell this kid is, and you talk to him,” Jenny says. “And you listen a little more specifically when the girls are talking at your house. About boys. Or the beach. Or anything remotely similar to those two things. You dig. You find the truth.”
I don’t want to spy. “I do need more information. What if Aidan was telling the truth?”
“Have you not considered that yet? I mean, to be honest, teenagers rarely tell the truth. You know that.”
“My teenager tells the truth,” I bite back.
Jenny holds up her hands. “Whatever you say. She tells the truth, but maybe she’s omitting something important. You’d be na?ve if you didn’t assume that.”
She’s right. Jenny is telling the dirty truth. Now I’m tasked with snooping and hoping Kendall doesn’t catch me. If she finds out, the trust will be broken forever. The possibility of having two untrustworthy parents is something I can’t contemplate. Sighing, I drag my hand through my tangled hair.
“Our appointment at Betsy’s is in ten minutes. Hair, nails. The works. You’ll feel like a million bucks after. Grab your sweater, Magnolia. We’re getting out of here. You don’t have a choice. I get it. Believe her until you figure out who that kid is. Move on.”
It’s solid advice. It’s advice I would have adhered to several months ago. Now that I know what moving on looks and feels like, I’m stuck in this place filled with memories and regret. I’m not sure I’ll ever fully recover from Aidan Mixx.
We walk the block to Betsy’s, and Jenny tells me about her last date with Harry.
It’s so simple in the most mundane way possible.
I wonder if that’s how she wants it, or if that’s where the comfort zone lies.
There’s no passion or fierce desire to be with him when they’re apart.
She dates him once or twice a month, and they rarely talk in between.
“Do you love him?” I ask, turning to meet her gaze.
She wrinkles her nose. “Why would you ask that?”
“Because you’ve been seeing him for so long. Do you want to take the next step with him?”
Jenny scoffs. “Magnolia, please. Don’t fix what’s not broken. It works.”
I bite my tongue. Is the sex good? Does her whole body tingle when he kisses her?
Does she miss him? None of that matters.
It’s obvious she’s chosen what she wants in life.
Would that change if she knew that out there somewhere in the world was a man who would turn her life upside down?
Make her feel things she didn’t know were possible?
Or is that too much of a risk? Having something so meaningful only to lose it?
Having the rest of your life missing what you once had?
I nod in agreement, and we enter the beauty shop.
I can’t remember the last time I styled my hair, so when the young girl spins me around in my chair to face the mirror, it takes a beat or two to adjust to my reflection.
My brown hair is blown and curled at the ends, and my face has a smooth layer of makeup that brings out my blue eyes.
“Thanks, it looks great,” I say, fingering my hair.
“You look like a total babe,” Jenny says, paying Betsy. I hand her cash so she can pay for mine too. “What are you going to wear?”
I shrug.
“You haven’t picked something out yet?”
“I spent so much time trying to find Kendall a dress. She’s the one on the Princess Court. What I wear isn’t important. No one is going to be looking at me.”
Betsy tsks at me. “That’s the wrong attitude to take, honey. Men are always looking. It just might be the night the right man looks your way.”