Chapter Fifteen
“What the hell was that?” My voice comes out an octave higher than it should, not sounding like my own. I grab onto Gareth’s bicep, forcing him to stop in his tracks.
Slowly he turns to me, his eyes darkened with a turmoil I haven’t seen in years. His chest rises and falls as we stare at each other. The muffled music from the bar setting the backdrop of whatever is about to happen between us.
This could go one of two ways.
Fisting his hair, he exhales a shaky breath, and I drop my hand from his arm once I see some of the tension in his muscles relax slightly.
Then his gaze snaps to mine.
My pulse quickens as he takes a step closer, the gleam in his eye now bordering on predatory, and I’m clearly his prey.
“That was me trying—fighting. I love you, Indy, and I’m so fucking tired of pretending I don’t.”
His words hang between us—a confession he’s been waiting for years to speak aloud. My chest aches as a thousand things run through my mind. Every sense is heightened, his touch searing against my skin, my own heartbeat amplified in my ears.
The silence stretches, and he buries his fingers in my hair, cupping the nape of my neck. He pulls me closer, resting his forehead against mine, his breathing uneven. “Say something,” he murmurs, voice soft. “Please.”
Emotions swirl within me, a kaleidoscope of things I want to say—want to feel—but am still keeping under lock and key, like an idiot.
But once I answer him, there’s no going back.
I love him.
Of course I do. I’ll never stop loving him, and I’ve spent my entire adult life pining after a man I won’t let myself have.
I can’t do it anymore.
I won’t do it anymore.
“I love you too.” The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them, hanging thick between us.
God, it feels so good to say out loud.
A rumble leaves Gareth—something between a low growl and a moan—and he catches my lips with his.
I’ve kissed Gareth a handful of times, but this feels different, like a door has opened and is welcoming us inside.
He deepens the kiss, tilting my head back. Demanding access, he bites my bottom lip, and our tongues begin a wild dance of possession. We claim each other in a way we never have before, electricity surging between us in intense, raw need.
Reaching underneath my thighs, he moves me up his body, and I wind my arms and legs around him as he walks, bringing us around the corner of the building, out of sight of the front entrance.
He pins me against the cool bricks, continuing to kiss me with an untamed frenzy. We’re all tongues and teeth, years of pent-up sexual tension exploding from us both.
I moan when he thrusts against me, letting me feel the effect I have on him—the same effect he has on me.
Heat floods me, pooling between my legs. I whimper when he rocks against my clit, each torturous movement causing my body to wind tighter.
“Fuck, Indy. I want you so bad. I’ve always wanted you. Please tell me you’ll break things off with that guy, Trouble. I need you to finally be mine.”
His words feel like ice water being poured over me. I can’t believe I’m still lying to him about having a boyfriend. Shame slithers its way through my chest. I shake my head, annoyed with myself.
He misreads my aggravation. “I can’t do this anymore,” he practically begs between placing soft kisses along the edge of my mouth. His voice is strained, the ache apparent. “Not without you.”
With a clean cut down the center, my heart slices in two. A desperation I’ve never felt sears within me, my own soul begging to take away the pain he’s radiating.
He needs my honesty. He deserves my honesty.
“Gareth, there is no guy.” My stomach lurches, the guilt overpowering everything I was just feeling.
He rears his head back, brows lacing with confusion. “What?” Gently, he sets me back down on my feet.
I adjust my clothes, then reach for his hand, needing to touch him.
“Zach. He doesn’t exist,” I blurt, then realize that’s not exactly true.
“Well, he does, but he’s not my boyfriend.
I don’t even know him—he’s just a prospect for The Sinners I’ve met once or twice.
He’s nothing more than a name I thought of on a whim and ran with. ”
“I don’t understand.” A muscle in his jaw tics. “I just confronted him. You were having a conversation with him. Laughing at his jokes.”
“No, you confronted my boss's husband,” I admit.
“Excuse me?”
I laugh, although the timing is incredibly inappropriate.
Gareth had the confidence to walk up to the president of The Sinners motorcycle club—not that he realized what he was doing.
Still, he confronted a man who’s bigger than him, and scary as all hell if you don’t know him, and demanded he apologize.
I resist the urge to kiss him again. Instead, I lace my fingers through his. “That guy you walked up to was Cain Michaels. Rosie’s husband, and the president of the club.”
That only deepens his confusion, so I backtrack and explain.
“The day you showed up at the club, Cain came outside to check on me. He saw me leave for my break, but I was gone longer than I normal, so Rosie sent him out to make sure I was okay. It’s not like we’re in the safest part of Ridgewood, and it wouldn’t be the first time we’ve had some trouble at the bar. ”
Wrapping my hands around the back of Gareth’s neck, I pull him toward me. “The man you confronted isn’t my boyfriend.”
“So he’s not—you’re not?” he stammers, taking way too long to piece the puzzle together.
I shake my head. “I lied,” I admit, then silence him mid-thought with another kiss.
Taking my time, I pour my feelings into my actions.
It takes a few seconds of coaxing before I feel him relax into my kiss, his mind likely still reeling over everything I’ve told him, but understanding what I’m saying.
My heart doesn’t belong to anyone else. Only him.
This time it’s him who breaks the kiss. His eyes are hooded, but still full of questions. “Why would you lie to me? Why make me think you’d finally moved on? Do you have any idea how much it was killing me? Just the thought of another man kissing you…touching you. It drove me insane.”
“Several weeks ago, you sent me a text while Dylan was at my place. Whatever you’d said made me smile so wide my cheeks ached, and Dylan immediately noticed.
He knew I was talking to someone I was obviously into and started attacking me with questions.
I lied to protect his feelings like I always do.
But a part of me knew he’d run and tell you I had a boyfriend, too.
I’d reached my breaking point, Gareth. I couldn’t have you, and after almost a decade of pretending like I was only your friend, I needed to push you away.
I’ve been struggling to hold onto why I’ve let Dylan dictate my feelings with a promise I made to him back when we were kids. ”
“We’ve protected him for too long, Indy.”
“I know, but how can we break the heart of the one person who has always been a rock for both of us? Dylan and I are practically twins, there is no me without him. I can’t lose him, Gareth.”
He brushes away the tendrils of hair that have fallen into my face, keeping his touch against my skin.
“I don’t want to lose him either, but at this point, it’s a risk I’m willing to take if it means I get you.
It’s been eight years since that night, Indy.
You’re all I think about, the only thing I yearn for—”
“I know,” I practically whisper, my lips brushing against his. “I feel the same, Gareth, but I’m just so scared.”
“Do you trust me?” he asks, his brown eyes locked with mine. I get lost in the love and adoration reflecting back at me, and I feel myself nodding, yes.
“Dylan is gone for another three weeks. Let me love you how you deserve to be loved, and at the end of them, if you’re still not ready to tell him about us, then we’ll be together in secret.”
“Gareth, I can’t ask you to do that.” I shake my head, but he’s still holding my face in his hands, refusing to look away.
He kisses me again, stealing my breath. “How I feel about you defies everything I thought I knew about love and relationships. You’re it for me, Indy. I think I knew that from the second I met you,” he confesses against my lips.
I sigh, my heart pulling in two directions. “But what if this doesn’t work out? What if everything continues to work against us?”
“Then I’ll work harder.”
For the first time in eight years, since the night we almost ruined everything, I feel like I have finally taken a breath.
Gareth kisses my forehead, letting it linger just long enough for my heart to ache, then reaches down and threads his fingers through mine.
“I’m going to walk you back inside now,” he murmurs, his voice low and rough.
“I want you to take a couple days and think about us, Trouble. If you want me like I want you, come to my game on Wednesday. Be in the VIP box when I look up from the field, and I’ll know. ”
We move slowly toward the entrance of Andromeda, both of us trying to prolong our time. As we walk, I stare down at his warm hand in mine, his grip never loosening. His thumb brushes gently over my knuckles, my skin erupting in goosebumps from his touch.
Stopping just before the doors, I tilt my head to meet his gaze. “Know what exactly?”
His gaze drops to my mouth, the desire palpable around us. Heat ignites through me—I’m seconds away from jumping back into his arms and picking up where we left off behind the building.
Sliding his fingers beneath my chin, Gareth tilts my face up until there’s no space between us, our lips brushing, but he doesn’t kiss me again. His presence is overwhelming, and there’s something about my Golden Boy that’s darkened in the last few minutes—another side of him peeking through.
“That you’re mine,” he says with certainty, “as much as I’m yours.”