Chapter 27
27
brYCE
Anna and Rory hog the majority of my bed and giggle over whatever they’re looking at on the phone held between them. From the Brody Steele tour case on it, there’s no chance it belongs to anyone besides Anna.
I touch the twin thin braids Anna insisted on doing under the pretense of helping keep my hair out of my face and watch the two of them in the mirror above my dresser. My best friend has been trying to get her hands on my hair for months now. I’m so out of it today that I finally gave in.
It’s still undecided if that was a good or bad call.
“What are you giggling about?” I ask.
Rory answers without peeling her eyes from the screen. “Poppy is texting the group chat.”
“Which one?”
“Titty Committee,” Anna says.
Rory adds, “She’s wondering if you and Daisy matched for today and if you’re nervous to be meeting her parents.”
“I’ve already met her parents.”
But not like this.
My phone’s lying face up on the dresser, yet the screen remains dark. I muted that group and Poppy personally shortly after she started using it as a way to bug me religiously about Daisy. The spam of messages was quite literally waking me up at night.
Poppy’s the type of person who will slam her finger on the Notify Anyway option if you’re trying to silence her. A full mute was the only way I managed to sleep the past three nights.
She didn’t need me to tell her that Daisy had spent the weekend with me at my parents’ house. Darren spilled it to her the moment I got back home and sent him an I’m alive text.
I’m ignoring him, too, because of it. The loudmouth.
Actually, there’s a whole lot of ignoring people going on right now in our inner circle. Me and Poppy, me and Darren, and as of Sunday night, Daisy’s been avoiding me.
I’ve never seen a bedroom door shut as often as hers has been since the moment we got back from my parents’ place five days ago.
She hasn’t noticed the new wicker basket in the living room that’s currently overflowing with her blankets. The written list of songs from her playlist that I wrote out and slipped beneath her door went unnoticed, maybe even crumpled and tossed out.
I haven’t been able to shake my discomfort for days. I’ve been home by dinnertime every night and have taken to refusing clients left and right because I know my absence had hurt her, and I’d rather not do that shit again. The only thing that’s done for me is remind me what it feels like to eat dinner at the table alone every night.
Something feels wrong, but fuck, I don’t want to think about the possible reasons for her pulling back. Not when the one at the forefront of my mind is that it was our kiss that ruined everything. That she hated it so much she’s decided not to go through with this anymore.
We need to talk and air shit out before I go insane. This avoiding one another act we’re both pulling is immature, and I’m ready for it to be over .
“She wants to know what you’re wearing,” Rory says, watching me in the mirror.
“Tell her to come here herself if she’s so interested in my outfit.”
Anna looks up next, worrying her lip. “Are things okay between you two?”
“Why wouldn’t they be?”
“Well, you haven’t really been talking to each other as much,” Rory puts in.
“She’s been gone.”
Anna dumps the phone on the bed and perches on her knees, her hands cupping them. “It’s okay if you’re upset that she’s gone, Bryce. I miss her too.”
My throat tightens as I grip my phone and tuck it into the back pocket of my jeans. The sleeves of my black shirt reach my wrists, and the matching puffer vest Anna forced me into is constricting. She was very confident in her outfit advice, and I hadn’t wanted to argue, given that I stood naked in my bathroom contemplating my life choices for twenty minutes. That’s where she found me.
“I always knew she would outgrow this place. It’s fine. I’m happy that she’s happy,” I say, fighting a flinch.
“Daisy’s home, right? She’s here?” Rory asks, changing the subject.
I shoot her an appreciative glance, even if Daisy isn’t my ideal topic right now either.
From the first day we met Rory, I knew she was more like me than the other girls. Not only do we both have complicated familial relationships, but we’re harder-walled than other people are.
Anna and Poppy are kind and thoughtful, but sometimes, they forget that not everyone is that way. There are some things I don’t want to talk about, and being pushed to do so will only make me retreat further into myself .
It’s nice to have both types of people in my life. I don’t know what I did to deserve them, though.
“Yeah. She’s somewhere,” I answer.
Anna’s brows climb her forehead. “Somewhere? Aren’t we all going together?”
I turn away from them and shove my shirt sleeves up my forearms, needing to not feel so fucking covered. “She’s in her room, Anna. I don’t keep tabs on her every move.”
“But you live together,” she argues, tapping her knees. “I would have liked for her to be here with us. We could have gotten to know her a bit better.”
My tongue burns from the dig of my teeth into it. I push away from the dresser and start digging through the pile of boots cascading out of my closet. The pair I constantly gravitate toward are missing, and my temper flares.
“If she wanted to be here for some kumbaya girl chat, she would have been, Anna. She’s the one hiding away in her bedroom. I haven’t locked her away like a fairy-tale princess,” I snap, standing straight and tipping my head back before cursing under my breath.
A sharp inhale fills the room before Aurora clears her throat. “Alright, so, obviously there’s some trouble there, then. And I’m guessing you don’t want to talk about it?”
My jaw pulses from how hard I’m clenching my teeth. There’s nothing right to say. It’s all a giant mess of hurt and regret and this stupid fucking yearning sensation that’s been driving me out of my goddamn mind for three years. I’m one breath from ripping my hair out of my skull from pure frustration.
Suddenly, I’m wishing the only person here was Poppy. The two women watching me right now have no idea that my relationship with Daisy isn’t real. I can’t talk to them about this. Not the truth of it.
“She’s upset with me for something,” I reveal cautiously.
Anna blinks, a soft smile appearing. “Have you apologized? ”
“How can I apologize if I don’t know what I did wrong?”
“You could go to her and ask. This barbeque is at her parents’ house, Ice. Not to mention, it’s supposed to be your first time meeting them as their daughter’s girlfriend. Don’t go into it with bad energy,” she says.
Rory twists her mouth. “Hashing shit out right before leaving isn’t always the right thing either, Anna. It could make things worse.”
“Great. So, I’m fucked either way, then.”
“You know, maybe that’s the problem. Have you two been intimate at all?” Anna’s question is innocent, but I physically reel from it.
Not out of anger but because I know deep down that that’s the problem. Daisy’s issue is me and what kissing me made her feel. Which was clearly nothing good. Talk about a sucker punch to the fucking gut.
“Let’s go. I don’t want to be late,” I force out, snatching a random pair of boots from the floor.
My best friends jump off the bed and race after me, attempting to keep up with my furious pace. I keep my mouth shut, knowing if I open it again, I’m going to ruin everything that Daisy and I have done up to this point.
I’ll expose the truth.
“Wait up, Bryce! I didn’t mean to overstep. You’ve never shied away from talking about those things before, and I just didn’t think it was different this time. I’m sorry.”
Guilt slashes deep, leaving me with a gaping hole in my chest. “It’s okay, Anna. I didn’t mean to snap at you either.”
She grabs me by my arm and tugs hard enough that I’m forced to spin to face her. My guilt transforms to annoyance before disappearing altogether.
It’s not Anna holding me. The eyes that dig into mine with a startling familiarity belong to Daisy. I should have known from the searing warmth of her touch.
My pulse hammers. She’s so close, so fucking pretty it hurts to look at her. To see the perfect image she makes in a pair of leggings and bright yellow blouse that she’s hiding beneath a leather jacket.
The leather jacket I haven’t been able to find since I offered it to her our first night at Peakside.
I don’t realize that I’ve been fisting my hands until she takes one and pries it open.
“What’s going on?”
The concern in her voice almost has me spilling everything to her, but it’s not enough to make me forget what’s been going on. How we went from sleeping in the same bed with her fingers running a constant path through my hair and having our first kiss in an exhausted haze under the pretence of practice to this utter silence. It’s been jarring, to say the least.
“Where have you been?” I demand.
“I’ve been getting ready.”
“Don’t, Daisy. That’s not what I meant, and you know it.”
“Work was busy. I stayed late a few nights this week,” she tries again.
“That’s not good enough.”
I shake free of her and lean against the wall before shoving my boots on. My socks have folded at my ankle, and I grip one, prepared to tug it back up, when I feel Daisy’s attention slip. Her stare burns the skin of my ankle. The exact area where I got lost in my mind and inked a soft yellow daisy.
She folds an arm across her stomach, mouth falling open. “Is that a . . . daisy?”
I cover the tattoo with my sock and hide it further in my boot. I’m so close to lashing out at her, my emotions threatening to get the better of me for the second time today.
“Are you ready to go?” I ask through my teeth.
“Bryce.”
“Daisy.”
We’re not alone, nor is she really my girl. If things were different, it wouldn’t matter where we were—in the front hall with my friends nearby or in the safety of my bedroom—I’d have her spilling why she’s pulled away from me with her legs spread and pussy oversensitive.
Honesty matters to me in a partner, and yeah, I know how much of a hypocrite that makes me. I’ve been hiding my feelings from her for years.
I thought I had patience in spades, considering the people I keep close to me, but when it comes to her, I’m barely hanging on by the thread that’s been fraying day by day.
She sighs heavily and shifts on her feet. “So, we’re going to pretend in front of my family, then? Is that the plan?”
Darting my eyes upward, I keep my mouth in a firm line. “You tell me, Sunshine. Pretending feels fitting, doesn’t it?”
“Not like this.”
Hurt twinkles in her eyes, but I don’t allow it to wound me further. Instead, I kick her out from behind the steel wall in my mind and slam it closed in her face.
“I’ll keep myself busy. I won’t ruin all of your hard work this week and hang around you. We wouldn’t have wanted it to be for nothing.”
She hangs her head slightly and nips at the inside of her cheek before bending to grab her sneakers and putting them on in silence.
“Do you guys want to drive separately? Maybe we should go ahead of you,” Anna offers, appearing at the end of the hall.
“No. I’m not planning on staying long. We’ll go together,” I mutter.
It’s Aurora who slips past Anna and fixes me with an understanding gaze. “Together, then. I’ll sit in the back with Bryce.”
“What? You always call shotgun,” Anna says.
Rory shrugs. “Not today.”
Her words are the last ones I stay for. While everyone else puts on their shoes, I step out into the bitter afternoon and trample my emotions until I don’t feel consumed by them.
It’s always easier this way.