21 - Peyton
PEYTON
Our strangest day in paradise began with coffee and sexual innuendo, but ended with spiny lobster, coconut prawns, and bread pudding.
It was as decadent a meal as we’d had so far.
Whoever they’d arranged to feed and care for us was doing an incredible job, while maintaining our secrecy and safety.
It made me wonder what kinds of favors the boys were owed, and what they’d done out of reciprocity to deserve them.
Ripley and Theo went night fishing an hour or so after dinner, just as they had most evenings. I watched them wander down to the beach together, talking quietly as they disappeared into the darkness. For the first time, I had a pretty good idea of what the topic of conversation might be.
I found Colson at the end of the dock, alone with his thoughts. He was sitting down for once; staring out over the water and cradling a large glass of whiskey. None of this was like him, at all. It went against his constant need for vigilance and control.
For a minute or two I just watched him, his hard, handsome face illuminated by the silvery moonlight. Then, moving quietly, I padded over.
“You know you can’t sneak up on me,” he said without turning.
My bare feet had hardly made a sound. Yet somehow he knew.
“I wasn’t trying to.”
One corner of his mouth curled upward. “That’s even worse.”
I lowered myself beside him using his shoulder, and sat with our legs touching. The warmth of his skin felt amazing in contrast with the cool ocean breeze.
A silence stretched out between us, getting more awkward by the second. I decided not to let it.
“The way you were kissing my neck last night…” I began. “That was some real panty-dropping shit. You know that, right?”
Colson said nothing. I elbowed him, playfully.
“I mean, if I were wearing panties, of course.”
An internal conflict followed. A silent war, raging beneath expressionless stoicism.
“Last night was reckless,” he finally muttered. “I lost control.”
“Oh, please,” I countered. “We all lost control. Besides, last night was sorely needed.”
“Needed?”
“Yeah,” I stood my ground. “We got hunted down, shot at, almost killed. We fled the fucking continent; chased into paradise by a literal, evil billionaire. Then you guys started strutting around shirtless… and me, in a bikini. The sexual tension was so thick you could spread it on toast. Something had to give.”
He couldn’t argue with my logic. He didn’t even try.
“What happened last night was an inevitability,” I breathed out, with a grin. “I’m just glad no feelings got hurt.”
“And how do you know that?”
“Because nobody got left out,” I winked.
Colson’s expression softened. He swirled the amber liquid in his glass thoughtfully for a moment, then swung those slate gray eyes my way.
“See that freckle on your neck?” he pointed gently. “I used to watch it dance around your throat, every time you laughed.”
“I haven’t laughed much, lately.”
“I know. But I’ve always dreamed of kissing you there.”
His admission came as a complete surprise. It sent a slow ripple of heat through my stomach.
“You have?”
He nodded, numbly. “Since the very first time I saw you. Donovan called me up, late one night, wee hours of the morning. And there you were, huddled up under some blankets. You’d fallen asleep on the couch.”
He looked down again, into his glass, as if looking for the words.
“You were sleeping so peacefully. Like an angel. I couldn’t believe he had something so precious, so perfect. And all this dickhead wanted to talk about was me, going after his enemies.”
“I… I didn’t know.”
“Of course not. I didn’t want you to.”
I tried to think back, to all the many times Colson and I had been around each other.
There were no hints, no stolen looks — no indication he felt this way at all.
With Theo, it was a lot more obvious. But Colson had done what soldiers often do: internalize his feelings.
He’d put them aside completely, for the sake of the mission.
For a minute we just stared off into the dark horizon, each lost in our own thoughts.
“So how’s it feel, now?” I asked him.
“How’s what feel?”
“Being free,” I sighed contentedly. “Not having Donovan own you any longer.”
“He never owned me,” Colson replied evenly. “He just thought he did.”
“After… what happened?”
“Yes.”
He brought the glass to his lips and took a man-sized sip of whiskey. For a while, neither of us said a word. His face was a mask of indifference, but his eyes betrayed a much deeper conflict. Colson was somewhere else. Somewhere familiar, but also painful.
And somewhere very, very lonely.
“I was a Marine,” he said heavily, breaking the silence. “Long enough that I didn’t know anything else. It was my life, my blood, my family. It was everything, really. And then, suddenly, it wasn’t.”
The shadows around us grew darker somehow, or maybe it was just my imagination. Either way, even the waves seemed to fall silent. Colson raised his glass and drank again. This time, much more deeply.
“On our squad’s last deployment, everything went sideways,” he exhaled slowly. “Orders changed, mid-operation. We didn’t so much walk into an ambush, we got sacrificed.”
He turned to me, and my chest went tight with sorrow. The depth of pain in his eyes seemed endless. I wanted so badly to take it away from him.
“Only three of us made it out. The rest… didn’t.”
A boulder formed in my throat. All I could do was cover his hand with mine.
“Colson…”
“I found out later the mission had been greenlit for political reasons. Money. Power. Whatever it was, somebody got paid for the blood that was spilled that day. When I confronted my commanding officer…” the hand beneath mine tightened into a fist. “Let’s just say I didn’t go through proper channels. ”
I nodded, numbly. “You shattered his jaw.”
“Almost killed him,” he confirmed. “Didn’t want to, I just needed him to stop lying to my face.”
He stared outward again, into the night, the muscles in his mighty neck flexing beneath his tanned skin. For a brief moment he looked frighteningly animalistic.
“After the dishonorable discharge, no one would touch me,” he finished. “Donovan was right there to scoop me up. I hated taking the job, but he promised he could help restore my reputation. I told myself I’d use him, and not the other way around.”
“And did you?”
“Not nearly enough.”
He drained the rest of his drink without so much as a grimace. Rearing back with one great arm, he flung the glass high overhead, and into the sea.
“You know, when I first met Donovan I used to think I was special,” I admitted. “I mean, here was this dashing, fancy billionaire who could have any woman he wanted, and the only woman he wanted was me.”
“You are special,” Colson muttered.
“No,” I shook my head. “What he saw was someone who wouldn’t push back. Someone looking to settle down, who was finally taking the exit ramp from the usual relationship drama.” I sighed, headily. “He thought he could shape me, because of that. Mold me into the kind of wife he’d always wanted.”
I saw him relax. He was half-smiling when he turned to face me again.
“He really fucked up, huh?”
“He sure did.”
Those steely eyes looked me over again, but more than just physically. Right here, right now, I felt like he could see my soul.
Maybe he even could.
“I never understood why you stayed,” he said softly.
I thought about it for a moment. The answer was a bitter pill.
“I never left, because leaving would be like admitting I was wrong,” I told him. “For once, I wanted to be right about something. I wanted to see it through.”
He nodded slowly, as if he understood.
“Yeah, well you almost made it,” he chuckled. “You got all the way down the aisle.”
“I did, didn’t I?”
“Yup. And then you hopped on a motorcycle, lit up the tires, and made that asshole turn six shades of purple.”
I laughed and leaned into him, which was like leaning against a mountain.
The move made my body tingle, as my brain conjured images of last night.
The shower spray, bouncing off those iron shoulders.
The feel of his hands, squeezing me like he owned me, as his hard body crushed me against the tiled wall.
“You’re still a Marine,” I told him softly. “Once a Marine, always a Marine. Right?”
He hesitated, but only for a moment.
“Yes.”
“Well, take me to the bed then,” I smiled, sliding both arms around him. His body was soothingly warm. So hard and sculpted, but also, inviting.
“I’ve never slept next to a Marine before, and it sounds like the most comforting thing in the fucking world.”