Chapter 10
Jensen
I really only have myself to blame here. I should have known that staying at Beck’s would bite me in the ass. I just didn’t realize it would come from him scaring the absolute shit out of me and seeing him in nothing but underwear.
I may not be able to prove if he’s pierced or not, but apparently, he has more tattoos than that fucking thigh tattoo. I couldn’t exactly make them out in the dark, but I could see the ink swirled on his skin. I didn’t realize that I could be scared then turned on that quickly.
And now, here I am having him kick my ass with a run this morning. Plopping down on one of the spots of grass along the Harborwalk, the icy air fills my lungs and I fight off a cough.
Running outdoors is my personal favorite, but I know I’ll be switching to gym treadmills when the snow starts. The salt is way too harsh for Dottie’s paws, and frankly, I’m just not a huge fan of running in the snow.
Beck hovers over me with that cocky smirk on his face. “Ah, come on, J. You’ve got to have more in you.”
No. No, I really don’t. “We just ran ten miles. I think we’re good.”
Dottie pants at Beck’s feet, I can tell she’s got a good workout in, but I swear, she’s in love with him. She might not take off after Beck if he kept going, but she’d think about it.
“Alright, Killer.” Beck falls dramatically next to me. His hands catching him in a push up position then rolls to his back. “Break it is.”
Dottie lays down in between us as we all slow our heart rates down.
I steal a glance at Beck as he rests his arms over his head and his eyes shut. Running with him should not be so damn enjoyable. I hate that he knew this is what we both needed. I didn’t anticipate the ten miles, but he’s right—this is our normal. Whatever normal is for us, I suppose.
We match each other’s speed so well. It never feels like Beck’s trying to compete with me either.
We just turn off our brains and run. It’s the only rational reason I can think of for why I continue to run this route every single Tuesday he’s in town.
The same one, I hate to admit, that makes me hate the idea of no longer running together over winter.
The corner of his lips turns up, and I know I’ve stared a moment too long.
“Like what you see?”
I want to point out his eyes are closed, but that straight up admits that I was staring. “I was glaring at you. We usually run five miles on Tuesdays.”
Beck looks back up to the clouded sky. “Hey, you’re a big girl. Don’t act like you didn’t want to keep going. If you really wanted to stop at five, you would have said something.”
Dammit, he’s right. “Maybe I was afraid to say something? Ever think of that?”
Beck lets out a throaty laugh that’s every bit of a turn on that it shouldn’t be. “Jensen, you’re not afraid to tell me anything.”
False. Very false.
This time, I choose to ignore him. I look back up to the sky, slowly finding my breath as I recount waking up in Beck’s bed this morning.
It was so annoyingly comfortable, and every part of me hated that I was alone in it.
Even if it was a blessing that I did…walking out to find him wearing glasses is a whole new version of Beck I didn’t need to see.
It pairs with the reaction of seeing him in his boxer briefs.
“I didn’t know you wore glasses.” The words tumble out at the memory.
“Don’t always wear them. There are these things called contacts, little more practical when playing baseball. I mostly wear my glasses at home, but if you like them then—”
Despite my body still feeling this numbing high, I swat at his arm. “Don’t be an ass.”
Beck chuckles. “Well, considering you brought up a reminder of this morning, why don’t you tell me what happened. Why’d you have to crash at my place?”
I swallow down a bit of my pride, I guess I do owe him an explanation, considering Callie and Lucie didn’t give him the heads-up I’d be there.
“My landlord is co-conspiring with my old slimy boss. I can handle myself, but I’m smart enough to know it’s better to leave entirely. So, now, I need a new place to live while also finding a new shop to work at…which also seems to be impossible at the moment, but I’ll figure it out.”
“What the fuck?” Beck snaps. “What do you mean co-conspiring? I feel like you’re glossing over a whole lot of information here.”
I feel every muscle in my body tense with frustration. “It’s fine, Beck. The apartment isn’t exactly worth fighting for when I know I can figure other things out.”
“Okay, so you want me to find out the rest of these details on my own. Should I start at your apartment complex? Tally’s, maybe?”
“Ay dios mío! Look, the guy who did my apprenticeship was a perverted asshat and didn’t want me to leave the shop so he could keep ogling me. When I turned his and his wife’s job offer down, I could tell that it didn’t go over well, but it had to be done.
“I figured, if anything, they would just talk shit about me in the shop, but clearly, I underestimated them. My landlord is one of the asshat’s regulars, so I came home to a letter about raised rent that afternoon.
When that didn’t work because I’m busting my ass at Winedown, they decided to implement a new ‘no pet’ policy. ”
“Christ, Jensen, that’s why you were working that Tuesday?” Beck doesn’t wait for me to respond to that question before asking a new one. “Keep going. What about the other shops?”
Clenching my jaw tight, this is the one I saw coming the least. “Seems I’ve been put on some form of blacklist for artists.
Apparently, asshat’s wife is just as big of a cunt and made up a bunch of lies.
What’s worse is, I’m not sure if she’s just bitter that I didn’t stay or that her husband didn’t get what he wanted.
I suppose it was all just an insult to injury. ”
“I’m going down there.” Beck shoots up from lying on the ground.
My body hates me for it, but I match his speed, catching his arm before he stands. “No. No, you will not. I’ve already talked Hurricane Callie out of trashing the place and convinced Mama Bear Lucie to stand down. Don’t make me fight you on it too—just listen.”
Beck looks at me dead in the eyes. “You better start saying better things then, Jen. You’re telling me you felt so unsafe that you had to leave your apartment. Don’t tell me what lies this bitch is spreading or you won’t stop me.”
I look at Beck, truly look at him, and he’s pissed. Outraged, really. This hyperactive, goofball looks straight up murderous right now and at that I burst out laughing.
Beck tilts his head back. “You think I’m fucking joking? I’m ser—”
“N-no,” I stutter in between chuckles. “I believe you. I just—this doesn’t fit you. You’re—”
“I’m what?” Beck’s eyes turn from intense fury to amused in an instant. “What am I to you, Jensen?”
My laugh slows, but doesn’t stop. “You’re totally a stage-five clinger, but I never thought I’d see that look on your face.”
Beck gives me a playful shove. “Yeah, and you’re facing homelessness and unemployment if you don’t get a handle on this.”
“It’s fine. I told you, I can handle myself, and I’m not dumb.
Staying in that apartment is a choice, one I chose to remove myself from.
I needed a place to crash to figure things out.
When the solution of an empty place was on the table, I took that one, but I can message Blake from the shop and see—”
“For fuck’s sake. You’re staying at my place, Jensen. No fucking arguing with me.”
“Bec—”
A bit of that murderous look comes back to his face. “I said no arguing. You want to handle this on your own, fine. I can respect that, but you can figure it out at my place. I have two empty rooms, and clearly my bed is big enough for two.”
All my amusement dies. “Not happening again. All I had were these clothes from my gym bag and I wasn’t about to sleep naked so I stole a shirt. The bed looked comfy…it wasn’t that deep.”
This time Beck snorts a laugh. “Of course it wasn’t.”
“Okay, I’ve shared my shitty day. Your turn.”
A new emotion crosses Beck’s face—one I’ve also never seen before. He looks heartbroken.
“Had a fight with my dad.” Beck shuffles his knees then scratches at his palm.
“My mom…she’s sick. Early-onset Alzheimer’s.
It was a combination of different things, but I—I had to go.
He wanted me to go, so cue the hours at one airport, finding a flight to New York so I could get on a red-eye to Boston, then being licked in the face by Dottie. ”
Dottie perks up at the mention of her name. Her tail wags viciously as she paws her way closer to lick Beck again.
I get it, girl. I get it.
Beck pets her head with a slight tug at the corner of his mouth.
“Seems like you’re glossing over some details there, Stalker,” I mumble cautiously. The angry version of Beck may have made me laugh, but this…this sad Beck is causing a serious pain in my chest. I want to reach over and hold his hand for comfort, but hold myself back.
Beck looks out to the waterfront with a vacant stare. “I don’t have the details in me right now. I know that’s not fair of me to say after I made you share, but—”
The instinct to reach over sends a tingle up my forearm. “You gave what you could. I think it’s pretty common knowledge that life’s not fair, Beck.”
Beck bobs his head with a humph. “No, it’s really not. You done for today?”
“Yeah,” I mutter as I push off the ground. Between the week I’ve had and the ten miles ran, my legs feel like Jell-O. I want a nap so freaking bad, but then it hits me that I’ll have to nap at Beck’s place and borrow his clothes again because I abandoned everything yesterday.
With a deep breath, I turn to Beck…my temporary roomie. “Can we go get some things at my place to last me a few days?”
Beck stands with a tsk. “We’ll get everything.”
“That’s a lot to—”
Beck holds up his hand. “Stop. Why argue over something that needs to happen?”
I bite my lip. I suppose he has a point, it’s the reality of the situation—I’m moving in with Beck—hopefully not for long—but my stuff can’t stay in that apartment forever.
“Fine. Come on, Dottie.” I pull her leash lightly to get her attention. She’s paw over tail for Beck. If she could understand what’s happened—I don’t think she’d care one bit.
I make one step onto the pavement when Beck’s hands find my hips and he yanks my back against his chest and holds me tight.
“Beck!” I fight his grip. “What the hell are you—”
“Chill, Jensen, chill.” He continues to hold me tight, but with his voice coming off soft and calm, I relax for a moment. “This might go into that shitty day category, but…uh, I think you started your period while we were running. You have a stain on your pants.”
“What!” Oh god, kill me now. What’s the date again? I’m usually like clockwork. Shit, shit, shit. I’ve been so stressed and I left yesterday in such a hurry. “I’m going to burn down Tally’s. I really think I will.”
Beck lets out that raspy laugh and his hands loosen around my waist, but doesn’t let go yet. “Ya know, I can’t say I wouldn’t light the match for ya, Killer, but let’s hold off for today. I got you.”
I. Got. You.
He lets go and pulls his long sleeve athletic shirt over his head then his arms come back around caging me in between him and the shirt. “Turn around,” he commands.
Turning on my heels ever so slowly, I hold my breath until I meet those green eyes. The slight tug up on his lips tells me everything I need to know, he’s not one bit deterred by this—completely happy just being able to help.
He ties the sleeves into a tight knot. “There.”
I look from the knot to Beck’s bare arms as chills appear. “Beck, you didn’t—it’s cold and you—”
Beck raises an eyebrow and gives me that smirk. “Worrying about me? See, Jennie, I knew you liked me.”
Yeah, I do, and that’s part of the problem.
He just did one of the sweetest gestures that anyone has ever done for me and he’s being so nonchalant about it. Like this wasn’t something that has my heart racing.
I push back from him. “No, worried is a bit of a stretch. I feel like we’re going to need some ground rules moving forward. I’m using you for a place to stay and not lose my dog. Don’t get this confused with anything more.”
Beck nods his head slowly. “Right, right. Tell me, Jennie, how is it living in your delusion?”
“It’s nice, you’re hardly even thought of there.” I start walking, not waiting or caring for his response.
Beck jogs up next to me but doesn’t speak to me. He looks down at Dottie walking in between us. “Your mom likes me, doesn’t she? She just doesn’t show it like you do.”
Dottie barks and prances at his feet while we walk. Damn dog is a traitor.
“And I’m the delusional one.” I am. I so am.
I see Beck look over at me from the corner of my eye. I don’t have to see more to know he’s got that damn smirk on his face. “Oh, I’m definitely delusional. And so desperate.”
I bite the inside of my lip to stop the smile. Looking away from him to the waterfront, I mumble. “You forgot stalker.”
“That too, but you’re so into it.”
I pin him with a glare. “Do you want me to hurt your feelings? I will, if that’s what it takes.”
Beck holds up his hands in surrender. “I get it, you’re not ready to admit it. Let’s just get your stuff moved into my place, and then you can set those ground rules that you, for some reason, need.”
My steps slow ever so slightly. Dammit, this is not going to end well.