Chapter 26
Chapter Twenty-Six
Outside The Hospital
Four hours later…
It was destined to happen.
I’ve always ruined the things I want in life. Knew I’d fuck this up.
It’s a blessed Sunday miracle I didn’t wreck my career in the SEALs.
But this… this thing with Marianna… whatever it was. I destroyed it.
And I’ve only got myself to be mad at.
The only thing that pierces my blinding rage is the wrecking ball headache inside my cranium. Jesus, my brain hurts.
I must be breaking it too.
No doubt, I’m being monitored on hospital security feeds. Crazed visitor prowling the parking lot.
At least I was. Now I’m hanging onto the truck like we’re in another earthquake.
If I let go, I might make things worse. By storming into the hospital and…
And what?
Begging Marianna to listen to me?
Already tried that.
Beast is the first one of my team to have the nerve to speak to me in a while. “Man, I’m sorry.”
I can’t peel my forehead off the hood of the Agile truck—the one I didn’t get blown up.
Another good thing I fucking ruined.
“Leave me alone.”
Some time ago I resorted to pressing my face into the metal and clinging to the hood to stop myself from beating dents into the thing.
There’s a sharp squeeze of my trapezius. The kind that takes a mammoth grip to dish out—a hand like Beast’s.
“You got it bad for her, huh?”
“Stop. Talking.”
He bumps my shin with his boot. “I know what it feels like.”
“What about shut up didn’t you understand?”
He rumbles. It’s a sardonic laugh. “I understand it all. Every damned bit. But you can talk all you want. I’m not letting you swing in the wind on this. We’ll help you unravel it all.”
Right.
There is no unraveling.
“I fucked up in every way possible.” Grimacing, I press my thumbs into my temples. “Marianna had every right to kick me out and tell me she never wants to see me again.”
There’s a shuffle of feet. I don’t bother to lift my head or speak. I won’t have to. He’s going to say what he wants to say anyway.
“She’s had a tough day. I’m sure the anesthesia and pain meds aren’t helping. By tonight she’ll be?—”
“She’s still gonna be furious. And I hope like hell those drugs are helping her.” Chest aching, I fist my hands into my hair. “They might have actually dulled the pain of betrayal.”
Because that’s got to hurt like a bitch.
I let her think I was someone else, even when she let me inside her body.
With a growl, I punch the hood of the truck.
I wanted to tell her.
Goddamn.
I sound deranged, strung out. Rubbing my knuckles, I huff out a breath. “I wanted to tell her before. But things happened so fast.”
Scout leans against the truck. His weight makes it rock. “Can’t say I’ve been there, Ev… But I can tell you you’re wrong to let her go without a fight.”
“You want a fight? Cause I’ve got plenty of it in me right now.” I mule kick his thigh.
He grunts as he shoves me back. “Dickhead. You need to talk to Camile, too. Time to man up. She feels like shit and I’m not letting you make her feel that way.”
As mad as I am, none of it is directed at Camile. I blow out a breath and shake out my hands.
Get yourself under control, Evan.
“I know. I don’t want her to feel bad. I caused this disaster. All alone.”
Somehow, I finally drag myself upright, only to turn around and lean my ass against the fender next to Scout. I don’t trust myself to move from this spot. I have no idea what this fury smoldering in my gut is going to make me do.
I understand now how people in love do crazy shit. Like haunt a place they’ve been evicted from.
The hospital parking lot is buzzing with activity. Ambulances. People coming and going. A helicopter is landing on the same pad where Justice landed the chopper carrying Marianna.
Outside, everything is business as usual.
Inside, I’m swimming in pain that I don’t know how to fix. But worse than that is the pain I caused Marianna.
“Fuck. I can’t believe…I almost got her blown up.”
A solid punch lands on my arm, knocking me sideways, making me fall into Scout.
Who proceeds to shove me back upright.
Beast is glowering at me shaking out his hand. “We all know what happened. But we are not going to sit here and let you wallow in your misery, so straighten your spine and let’s make a plan.”
Ha. Wrong.
I’m not sure why I ask, but I do. “Plan for what?”
Shit, I sound… bitter and pathetic.
Justice is in my face a second later. Dude is like a magic genie. Always popping up out of nowhere.
Where did he come from?
A bouquet of yellow flowers is thrust into my hand. “This is one of the tools we’ll put into play.”
The urge to shove them down his throat is violent and instantaneous.
“No. Fucking no. Go give those to a nurse. I’m sure you’ll get to hook up, then you can leave me the hell alone.”
He shakes his head and smiles. It’s an evil twist of his lips. Can’t say I’ve ever seen that exact look in his face before.
I groan and toss the flowers onto the hood of the truck behind my shoulder. “Guys, we’re not planning some kind of mission to fix this thing with Marianna. It’s done. I’m the fuckface that had sex with her without telling her who I am.”
“The fuck we aren’t. Operation Second Chance is about to commence.” Scout replies as he crosses his arms.
I look for a way out of this idiotic circle. But I’m surrounded.
“You all need to back the hell off. I’m in no mood.”
“For what?” Beast challenges.
My lip snarls up. Inside my engine is revving. “For any of this shit!”
The next second I’m on the ground, wondering how I got on my ass.
And the next second after that, I’m off the ground, bouncing on the balls of my feet, hands raised, ready to brawl. “You guys really wanna do this here?”
Scout lands a swift kick on my thigh. It’s a good hit. Pain shoots up the nerve and reverberates in my spine.
“So this is how it’s going to be? Three on one.”
Justice tucks into me with a jab. I’m fast too, deflect it, and clip his jaw.
But Beast is on me. He advances like a water buffalo. The man is always surprisingly quick for his size. Which is why he lands a left hook on my chin.
It was a love tap. If he hit me with full power, I’d be flat on my back, out cold.
Hell, I might even need the emergency room if he got me right.
We rumble around. I take a few more punches.
“Oof.” Beast grunts when I kick him in the stomach.
But the circling continues. Our heavy breathing is loud. An audience starts to gather.
“Ha!” I jump back, missing a swing from Scout and catch him with an open handed slap.
His demeanor instantly changes. That rage he’s got under the surface peeks out. “Motherfucker.” With a menacing snarl, he lunges forward and punches me in the gut.
As he retreats, Justice advances. But he’s slow and leaves an opening. When my knee connects with his ribs, he grunts out a curse.
I swing around, sporting for the next attack. “That's all you guys got?”
But I get really mad when I’m dancing around, and one by one they step back and smirk at me. Hands held up.
Those bastards. I pant at them, dropping my hands to my knees. “What the fuck?”
Scout knocks some dust off his pants leg that came off my shoe. He gives me a flat look. “You know what.”
As I swipe some sweat off my brow, I pace around.
For the first time in the four hours since Marianna kicked me out of the recovery room, I’m breathing. Really breathing. Deeply.
Justice straightens his shirt, rearranging the cuffs over his massive biceps. “You needed to let off some steam.”
Fucking hell, they’re right.
I rub the back of my neck. “My headache is better.”
Beast tosses me a bottle of water he got out of the built-in power cooler in the truck. “Lucky you still got a head. You weren’t guarding yourself for shit.”
“Whatever.” I twist the lid off with a snap and slug down the cold liquid. He’s right. I was sloppy. Just like with Marianna. I let my fucking guard down.
When I let the bottle of water hang down by the side of my thigh, Scout latches an arm around my neck. “What were you thinking just now?”
“Making that mistake, reminded me of others.”
He’s sweaty from our scuffle, his arm slick against my skin. Scout is the most distant of the team. The closed off, angry one. But something has changed since we’ve been in Vandemora. A little give, here and there.
His arm around me takes me back to days of training to be a SEAL.
The brotherhood.
When I look around, it hits me—how lucky I am to be surrounded by these men. Good men. Solid. Honest. Brave and tough as they come.
I don’t deserve their respect.
Not only did I let Marianna down, I let the team down. Got distracted from my job. Caused one of the company trucks to be destroyed. Could have gotten an innocent person killed.
“I understand if you don’t want to keep me on the team.” I’m looking directly at Beast. He’s the boss.
He flips me off. “Shut the fuck up. You’re not getting off this team. Who’s going to make corny southern jokes?”
Justice chuckles as he plucks at his shirt, tugging the damp fabric from his chest. “We didn’t let Beast leave, why do you think we’d cut you any slack?”
I shake my head. Some of the anger changes, but I don’t know how to handle the feeling inside of me.
The tension is almost more than I can take. It hurts to breathe. My voice is raspy too. “I’ve fucked it all up.”
Scout shakes me, squeezing my neck harder in the thick angle of his arm. “You know what we do with fuck ups?”
“Debrief. Analyze. Learn from them,” I reply somberly.
Beast clutches my other shoulder. Justice leans in too, grabbing my arm. They all grip me with their strength, holding me up when I need it.
A voice booms behind us. “ Vut ze fuck? Vut kind of sissy hug fest is zis?”
We snap apart. All of us instantly on alert.
Vik.
Great. Just what I need.
Arms crossed, the head bodyguard from the mayor’s mansion is standing next to a big black SUV with a classic sneer straight out of a Cold War movie on his face.
I step forward, since the others don’t know him. “Vik, what are you doing here?”
He glances toward the hospital. “Marianna called me.”
My eyelids flinch on their way down to a narrowed glare.
“Why?”
“Because she knows I am the only person who can keep you away from her if you decide not to listen to her wishes.”