Chapter 30
Chapter Thirty
I knew she was safe in the bank today, but I had to fight to keep myself from going inside. So when she steps out into the sunlight, I take a breath.
It only takes her a few seconds to spot me.
But relief is not what’s behind her frown.
Apprehension is tightening the lines of her pretty face as she walks down the sidewalk toward me. There’s even a flicker of fear behind her gaze when we meet in front of the barber shop.
“Did you follow me?”
“I came to make sure you were safe.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m concerned for you, Marianna. I care for you, Mari. I don’t like seeing you upset.”
She turns away, and starts walking. Shoving my hand in my pocket so I don’t reach for her, I hustle until I’m beside her.
She casts a jarring glance toward me. “You care, huh? Enough to not tell me your real name before you fucked me.”
The last two words are the hardest hits I’ve ever felt.
“I’m sorry, Mari. I’m so damned sorry. I know this doesn’t mean much, but I was going to tell you. I meant to tell you before we…”
I swallow, fisting my hands. When I speak again, my voice is strained. “I’m not going to call what we did fucking.”
It’s hard to even say the word and think about her. I clear my throat to move the lump that’s blocking my airway. “Because that’s not what it was.”
She shakes her head, making her hair slide along her back in a long dark wave. But her eyes stay down as she continues to stride down the sidewalk. “Pretty lies, Walt. I mean, Evan. Whoever you are. You sure do have the gift for deceit.”
Fuck.
I know better than to reach for her, but I do. The instant my fingers wrap around her wrist, a flood of hurt crashes over me. “You have every right to feel this way.”
Using the back of her other wrist, Marianna dabs at her eyes.
Every tear slices me. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I never meant to hurt you.”
A little sob jerks her body, but she keeps on walking. “I can’t believe I’m crying on Main Street.”
“Let’s go somewhere we can talk.”
The next few seconds are agonizing. Biting her lip, she looks away. Her strides slowing.
“Marianna, I have so much to say. Let’s find somewhere quiet so I can explain everything.”
She goes rigid, her eyes arcing toward me as she pulls against my hold. But she doesn’t pull hard, and there’s no steam behind her words. “No. I’m not going anywhere with you.”
I tug her arm gently. “Come here.”
Quietly, she protests. “What are you doing?”
“You need this. I need this so fucking bad.” I stop and pull her slowly toward me until she's against my chest. When I wrap my arms around her, she grips my shoulders fiercely.
I close my eyes and don’t open them until she buries her face in my chest and starts to cry.
“I’ve got you.”
My throat stings as I wrap my hand around her head and hold her to me. I did this to her.
A shudder starts in my spine. Makes my arms shake as my mind races. How can I fix this?
“People are going to talk.”
I grumble, “Like I care about that.”
There are eyes on us. Openly staring, this time. I could give a flying fuck. I let them feel the weight of my glare as I rock her back and forth until she finally takes some stable breaths.
When she pulls away, I wrap my palms around her cheeks, stroking her velvet skin with my thumbs.
The sheen in her eyes breaks me all over again. God. Dammit.
As if a giant cog is turning in the universe, something clicks into place. She’s my one.
The ONE.
A new kind of shudder runs through me. No. It’s impossible.
This can’t be happening. It’s not supposed to happen. I can’t be in love.
She makes a little sound and what I see in her gaze matches the alarm I think is in mine. It’s like we’ve been struck by the same lightning bolt.
She blinks slowly as I wipe her tears away with my thumbs.
“I’m so fucking glad to see you. I’ve been waiting…”
She shakes her head as her lashes dip down. “Vik told me you’ve been to the farm.”
When I drop my hands from her face and wrap my arms around her again, she relents and leans into me.
“You didn’t think I’d be far from you with a chance that someone was going to try to hurt you.”
Suddenly the spitfire is back. She stiffens, pushing against my chest. “Hurt you, too! Evan… the bomb was on your truck.”
I didn’t catch all that she said.
“Say it again.”
Her brows furrow as she grips the front of my shirt and gives me a shake. “The bomb was on your truck.”
“No.” I pull her closer. My whole body is aching. “Say my name.”
An exasperated sigh crosses her lips. “I’m talking about bombs and you’re fixated on me saying your name.”
“I am.”
When her hands loosen from my shirt, her palms press against my muscles causing a weird sensation to bloom inside of me.
Hope?
No. This is a feeling of rightness. I just need to unfuck everything.
This is the most important mission of my life.
I try to swallow around a new, even larger lump in my throat.
“Evan.”
My knees feel unsteady at the sweet sound of her saying my name.
She searches my face as she presses her lips tight. “ Evan. There was a bomb on your truck. Someone was trying to hurt you. I just happened to be there.”
The fear that consumed me during that helicopter flight flashes hot again. “I let you get hurt. I should have checked the truck. There was a car bomb a few hours before and I didn’t do my job.”
She steps back and shakes her head. “I don’t know what your job is, Evan. But…”
“But what, sweetheart?”
She flinches, her expression filled with sadness. “Please, just let me go. I know you’ll be leaving as soon as whatever job you’re doing is over.”
Hands hanging at my sides, I struggle to breathe after that arrow to the chest.
It’s true.
The Agile team is only in Vandemora for a single case. When we find the missing woman, we’ll be assigned to another job. Who knows where. We’re an international rescue team.
But my mouth opens and something spills out that I have no control over. “It doesn’t have to be like that.”
“I’ve got to go, Evan. I suggest you talk to Vik and figure out how to keep yourself from getting more tangled up in whatever is going on in Karma. I’d hate to see you or your team get hurt…” Her chin quivers. “Or killed.”
I reach for her again, desperate, but she turns and walks away toward her Land Cruiser. The sound of her sandals clicking rapidly on pavement is as loud as gunfire.
And I’m the target.
Her shoulders are locked and steel is in her spine and I can’t stop myself from taking off after her.
When I match her stride, she sighs and pinches the bridge of her nose. “You’re not going to leave me alone, are you?”
“No. I can’t.”
A tiny little muscle in her jaw works. “Can’t or won’t?”
“Both,” I fire back.
As I hold the door to her truck open, she climbs inside. “Gingersnap run okay today?”
The key she was pushing toward the ignition halts in the air. “Yeah. She did. Why?”
“I took care of a few things that needed to be fixed.”
She stares at me, her mouth sliding open. Then she faces the windshield. “I need to go. I’m so confused right now, I don’t know what to say. But it’s been too much.”
“You have my number?”
After nibbling on her lip, she flicks her eyes quickly to me and away. “I do.”
“Call me. Please. I’ll explain everything.”
“Are you going to stop sneaking around the farm?”
Resting my hand on top of the Land Cruiser, I consider my answer. “Not until I know you're safe.”
“Vik has apparently decided he’s not leaving as long as I don’t want to talk to you.”
I force myself to inhale slowly. “Marianna, I’d never hurt you.”
She tugs on the door. “You’ve already done that, Evan.”
Fucking hell.
The engine fires right up. Maybe I shouldn’t have fixed the darn thing.
Clenching my hands, I stand on the curb. “Marianna…”
She gives me one last, broken glance that drives a knife into the rusty organ inside my chest.
I’m so tangled up in my head, I don’t react fast enough.
My hand flies into the air, as I leap toward the Toyota. “Mari! No!”
But it’s too late.