Chapter 59
Chapter Fifty-Nine
Vik’s team medic glances up at me as he holds a stethoscope to Marianna’s chest. He presses the metal circle against her ribs, dragging it along beneath the clean T-shirt I changed her into.
After checking several places he nods and sits back. “Blood pressure and heart rate are good. She’s fine.”
I’ve chewed a hole inside my mouth. Paced a rut in the carpet, and given myself early cardiac disease. “Why won’t she wake up?”
He stands and pulls the blanket over her and I push him out of the way to finish tucking her in.
With a grunt, the man drops his stethoscope into his bag and zips it closed. “It’s trauma response. Not a clinical term—but she got so angry she lost her mind. Just stay with her. She’s going to come around and I have to warn you, it won’t be pretty.”
Like Vik, he’s a man of few words.
When he walks out I lock the door and resume pacing next to the bed. It’s been hours since she collapsed on the porch. Every minute longer she’s under makes me more scared.
Scared like I’ve never felt before.
Terrified.
I never want to feel this again.
When my phone vibrates, I move to the other side of the room.
“Yeah?” I answer hoarsely.
Scout asks, “Is she awake?”
“No.”
“Shit. I’m sorry, man.”
For a few seconds, I can’t open my trembling lips. “Vik’s medic said she’s just having a trauma response.”
“I’ve seen it.”
“Like this?’
Scout blows out a breath. “Yeah. Just like that. One of the guys in BUD/s had something similar when he had to quit. He’d spent his whole life focused on becoming a SEAL and didn’t make it.”
We’re silent on the phone together. I still don’t like seeing her like this and hate that her life was ripped away from her.
“The backpack belongs to MZ.”
His words snap me back.
“That’s really not good.”
In the background, the sound of the Jeep’s engine whines. “I agree. That cave is already full of water.”
“What now?”
“Beast and Marshall are talking. Don’t worry about this. Take care of your girl.”
“I’m gonna try.”
I open my eyes and find Marianna awake, looking at me. I don’t even remember hanging up with Scout. I fall to the floor beside the bed onto my knees, burying my face against her neck.
She whispers, “You’re here.”
“You’re going to have a hard time getting rid of me.”
She shivers and wraps her arms around my neck. Unable to fight the urge to hold her any longer, I climb onto the bed and pull her against me.
I’m hanging by a thread. All of the fear and uncertainty, hours of not knowing, hours of wishing I could take her pain away are barely contained by a dam that’s got a serious fucking crack in it.
Voice shaking, she speaks against my shoulder. “I’m nothing now. I have nothing. Not even a place to live. I can’t have children. I don’t know how to do anything else but grow agave.”
The soft ache in her words shatters me into a million jagged pieces.
Fucking hell. Can I ease her pain? An all new fear explodes to life inside my gut.
Her voice grows hard. “I’m so angry.”
“It’s okay to be angry. I’m right there with you.”
I’ve spent so much of my life angry, it’s a part of the fabric of who I am. But I’d never want that for her.
She’s very still for a long time.
Stroking her hair, I analyze the hot glowing sensation in the middle of my chest. It’s getting bigger, despite the fear that’s tightening my stomach with its icy tendrils.
I search for my voice. “I know this is going to sound cliche′ as fuck, but home is where the heart is. You don’t know my story. Don’t know that I was living under a tarp behind a garage when I was thirteen. I didn’t have anything, but someone…”
The words stick in my throat and she presses a kiss against my jaw. “I’m so, so sorry.”
A tremor runs through me.
God, that felt good.
I exhale hard with a shake in my breath, looking toward the ceiling, I let go. I open the part of me I swore to never show another person. “I’ve been angry for so long.”
Careful, handling me like I’m made of glass, her fingers rub a smooth circle over my chest. “Now I know why.”
It’s a long time before I can speak again. She holds me so damned tight. It takes effort to finally choke out the words. “But someone refused to give up on me.”
“You deserve love, Evan.”
I kiss her temple. “You deserve everything you want. I don’t own an agave farm, but I swear to god, I’ll get you one if that’s what you want. I’ve never grown a thing in my life, but I can learn. Seeing you happy is the only thing that matters.”
She sniffles. “You’re too much.”
“No. You deserve it all. Plus I can rebuild a tractor with my eyes closed.”
She pulls back. The pretty golden brown color of her eyes is brightened by the sheen on her lashes. “How did you learn to work on farm equipment?”
“The garage was a tractor repair place and when the man that owned it found me, he dragged me to his house and refused to let me leave. I worked there until I turned eighteen.”
My heart softens at the memory of how he looked at me that day and so many days after. Not with pity, with determination.
“It was good for me. And working there was my way of paying him back for giving me a life.”
She smiles softly, forcing a tear out of her eye. It trails across the dark smudges of paint still on her skin. I kiss her jaw, catching the tear with my tongue.
The thing that’s happening inside of me is terrifying. An unraveling and an expansion. A supernova.
It leaves me speechless. Breathless, and panicked.
“I’m sorry I fainted or whatever that was.”
I shake my head. “I’m glad you did.”
She blinks at me twice and laughs softly. “That wasn’t the answer I was expecting.”
I smooth my hand down her damp hair, wincing when the callouses catch on the tangles. “I was in a dark place in my head. But catching you in my arms snatched me back to reality. Put me firmly where I should be. Peter doesn’t matter. What he did does not matter. You matter. I love you, Marianna.”
Her lips part and a small sigh brushes over my skin. “I love you, Evan Walker. I’m so glad I went to the bank that day.”
It’s hard to believe that was only a few days ago. “Me too, sweetheart.”
Suddenly her eyes widen and quickly scan the room. “Where am I?”
“My hotel room.”
“Oh my god. I’m going to get this makeup stuff all over their sheets.” She glances down. “Whose shirt is this? It’s going to be ruined.”
“Who do you think that shirt belongs to?”
The soft sound she makes has me swallowing roughly.
When I recover, I laugh roughly. “We’re both a damned mess. We look like we’ve been crawling in a swamp for a month of Sundays. You up for a shower?”
“Only if you’re coming, too.”
I grin wolfishly. “Coming is guaranteed to happen if I’m soaping you up, babe.”
“You devil. I like how dirty you are and I’m not talking about all the mud on you.” She raises up to an elbow and frowns. “Whoa. I’m a little unsteady.”
“Then we stay right here.” I lean over and kiss her slowly, pressing her back into the bed. “No need to get up. Besides, the feral look you’ve got goin’ on right now is sexy as hell.”
She smiles at me softly, touching my face, then her eyes widen. “Am I allowed back in the house to get my things?”
An ache slices through my veins as I kiss the worry line on her brow. “I didn’t even think you might see it that way. There’s time to pack up your things. We’ll help you with that and anything you need to do. But it’s command central over there right now. Vik and his men, and our team… there would be no peace for us.”
She bites her lip. “I’m glad we’re here. But there’s so much to think about.”
I trace my fingers along her neck, smoothing her hair back. “Not right now. This is it right now. Just us. You want to sleep, we sleep. You want to eat, we eat. You want to…”
“Did you put the do not disturb sign on the door?”
My blood throbs from my head to my toes. “Done.”
The heat that infuses her golden eyes sets a flame loose inside me. She tugs on my shirt. “No overprotective alphas knocking on the door while we’re making love.”
“I’m the only overprotective alpha you’ve got to worry about ever again.” I dip down to her mouth and we kiss until we’re tangled in the blanket and my cock is a steel rod fighting to get to her heat.
Her tone is teasing as she arches under my touch. “I like this one, he’s my favorite. Even if he is a little bossy.”
I bite her neck, she squeals. “You like bossy in bed.”
“Guilty. I like everything you do in bed. And the truck. And…”
I attack her mouth and chase any remaining words away. When she’s breathless, I take her face in my hands, looking down at the most beautiful sight in the world.
“We’re done talking. Moans, panting, and giggles are the only sounds allowed.”
She raises up and bites my lower lip. “I like your growls, too.”
I lift her arms above her head, rocking my body against hers. When she whimpers, I put my mouth next to her ear and growl.
“Like that?”
She breathes heavily. “Yeah. Exactly like that.”
“Good, because I feel like an animal right now.”