Chapter 19 #2
“You usually only flirt, or look at me like you did earlier—like you’re looking at me now—when you’ve been drinking.” The rough texture of his words should’ve hurt as they cut across her skin, but instead, they dampened her panties. “I’ve always chalked it up to the alcohol.”
Tequila and their buddy Jack brought the words out—loosened her lips. But liquor only allowed the truth of her desires to skim the surface, offering a brief and quick view of what she wanted.
“So.” He paused, his eyes thinning. “Do you?”
Heat rolled like soft waves over her skin as his words floated through the air.
“Yes,” she whispered before biting back the truth as always.
“Okay.” He gave a light nod, his eyebrows drawing together. “So, then, I’m gonna go ahead and kiss you now.”
He enveloped her in one quick movement before she knew what to think or say. His hands on her. Bodies touching. The hardness between his thighs pressing against her.
A sweep of his tongue parting her lips.
Tender and soft.
Then hard.
Harder.
She matched his pace, but in truth, she was hanging on to the edge.
His rigid arousal so close to her was like an invitation to a party she’d longed to attend but had never been given the chance.
His kiss was everything. Years of want rolled into this one moment.
When his hand slid between them and skimmed the hem of her shorts, her knees buckled.
A low, guttural moan vibrated against her lips when his finger swept up, tracing a line over her clit, discovering her sans panties.
He stroked her while his other hand cupped her ass and squeezed, and his lips wandered to her cheek, to her neck, to the shell of her ear.
She was going to lose her mind. Was this actually happening? Right here. Right now. Was this a dream? If it was, she refused to wake up.
She buried her fingertips into his shoulders as he made love to her with his hand, with his mouth back at her neck, gently sucking.
And when she didn’t think she could withstand any more sensations, he buried two fingers deep inside of her. “You’re tight,” he said into her ear. “So tight and wet.” His tone was sex and strength. Love and passion. Total commitment to this moment.
She wanted more. More of him. More of everything.
But then he stepped back.
He ended her world in that one step.
Her chest lifted and fell with heavy breaths as she feared he was on the verge of changing his mind.
“I’ve fantasized about this moment for so long,” he rasped. “I didn’t know if it could ever happen.”
She wanted to reach for him, wanted his touch again, but he needed to say something. She could see it in his eyes, and so she waited with hands clenched at her sides.
“I’ve been trying to protect you. I’ve been afraid I might leave you someday the way she did, and I didn’t want to hurt you.”
A world without her mom and Knox would be two levels below hell.
Her chin slightly wobbled as fear fast-tracked down her spine.
“But you’re my best friend, and if something happened to me, it would hurt you no matter what.
” His chest lifted with a deep breath and sank on an exhale.
“There are other reasons I’ve convinced myself to stay away.
I’ve been waiting for the right time, but I don’t think right times exist, do they? ”
She brought her hands to his chest, unable to stop herself, worried she’d lose him to some invisible reason she could neither see nor touch.
He stared at her for a long minute. Indecision blanketing him once again.
“Please.” She reached for the messy bun at the top of her head and unleashed her long locks.
Then his body went flush with hers, and he tore a hand up her back and to her hair, fisting it gently. Tugging so her chin tipped.
His hand raced down the column of her throat in the tight space between them before dipping into her top and palming her breast.
“How long have you wanted to do that?” Her tongue skirted the line of her lower lip.
“A long damn time,” he growled and kissed her again. Much harder this time. Needier. And it was going to be her undoing.
“I told myself I wouldn’t go past second base tonight,” he whispered when their mouths parted, and his lips tilted into a smile. “I had to Google those bases on my way here, by the way.”
She chuckled, even as she regretted the loss of his touch. “You and the baseball metaphors lately. You planning on pulling a Jordan and switching sports?” Her palm went to his chest.
His smile converted into a full-on grin.
“And what made you so confident you’d get anywhere?”
“Because I knew if you felt even a tenth of what I’ve been feeling—suppressing—I’d be good.”
Her palm slid north, and she wrapped her hand around the back of his neck. “Please tell me you’re not going to leave here without—”
“You do have an eight-dates-before-sex rule.”
“At your insistence!”
“I had advised eight hundred to somewhere along the lines of never. You dropped the double zeros.”
“And do you really want to wait until eight dates to make love to me? Or talk about the fact I had to date anyone other than you at all since you’ve been so damn stubborn?”
He grimaced. “Might I remind you that you’ve been stubborn, too?” He held a finger in the air between them and closed one eye.
“I’ve given you plenty of clues, and you never got the message.”
“Like those shorts you’re wearing?” He twirled a finger. “I swear you must have them in fifty colors, and you always wear them when we hang out.”
“What’s wrong with the shorts?” She attempted to hide a smirk to no avail.
She gasped when he surprised her by sliding a hand up her cami and rolling her nipple between his thumb and forefinger.
“Tell me you don’t wear them on purpose whenever we hang out.” He guided her chin with his free hand so her eyes were on his, a silent demand. “Tell me you weren’t trying to get me to break down. Probably had no underwear on, too.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Liar.” He pinched her nipple. “You keep the peanut butter on the highest shelf in your kitchen, which makes absolutely no sense given your love of the stuff. And I have to watch you on your tippy-toes reaching for it, with your ass cheeks on display in those short shorts, and then I’m left with one of two choices. ”
“Wh—”
“Two choices.” He held a hand between them. “Grab hold of you, spin you around, and kiss you . . . or get the peanut butter for you and immediately disappear for a good five minutes and think about anything and everything to get my cock to calm down.”
Oh, shit. Last weekend after the barbecue when she’d reached for the peanut butter jar . . . the look he’d given her after. He had gone to the bathroom right after, and then he’d returned with all his crazy talk about why he shouldn’t spend the night.
“You rarely ever looked at me like you wanted me,” she said, trying to make sense of his words.
“There’s a reason why I’m good at covert ops and poker.” He crossed his arms. He was standing his guard. Businessman gone. The SEAL had returned.
This man she couldn’t win a battle with. He’d been conditioned for war. Trained by the best of the best, and he was the best of the best.
“You know how many times I had to hide an erection around you? Well, I lost count, so I’ve got no idea, but it was a lot.”
“Why fight it? Why keep it such a well-hidden secret from me?” He said he’d been waiting for the right time, but still.
“After that night, we couldn’t. And then . . . more timing issues, I guess.”
That night. The night her mom had been dying while he’d kissed her.
She forced away the pain and found his eyes.
“I’ve accepted for a long time we’d remain friends. Only friends. It was safer.”
Safer?
“But that doesn’t mean I haven’t contemplated various ways of killing every guy you’ve dated.” A smile slipped to his lips. “Now, tell me the truth, since I’m being so honest. Did you, or did you not, want to bang me in the back of the Suburban earlier?”
A laugh bubbled up in her chest, and she let it free. “Knox, you’d been shot.”
“Maybe the rush of emotions got you hot and bothered.”
A fluttering sensation of goose bumps erupted over her skin.
“I’m right, aren’t I?” Before she knew it, he had her back to the wall, his palms over her shoulders.
But he didn’t kiss her. He didn’t make a move.
He simply stared at her. A touch of fear coloring his eyes. A battle of restraint she didn’t want him to win.
“What is it?” she whispered. “Are you serious about the date thing?”
His eyes dropped to her lips. “We have a lot to make up for. You gotta let me do this right, Addy. I owe you twenty years of right.”
“You don’t owe me anything except for maybe your cock inside of me right now.”
“Fuck,” he said as his mouth took hers.
Owned her yet again.
The sound of a palm hitting the wall had her eyes opening, and he pushed back.
“Damn you,” he said. “But I’ll take my time if it kills me.
” Emotion cut across his face, deep and hard.
“You’re not just anyone. You’re the one.
The one I thought I couldn’t have, and I plan on giving you the entire world. ”
Her heart may have exploded in her chest, but she couldn’t resist—“The whole thing, huh?”
He lowered his hands to her face and held her there. “The whole fucking thing.” Then he kissed her again. Kissed her so hard she was going to lose her mind.
“Okay,” she murmured against his mouth. “We’ll wait.” She lifted her hand between their now parted bodies. “Two dates, though.”
“Two?”
“And tonight counts as the first.”
He angled his head, his brows pulling together.
“It’s that or eight hundred and somewhere along the lines of never,” she repeated his earlier words.
“You’re a tough negotiator.” But he’d give in because she could see that, like her, he was barely hanging on.
“Now let me get dressed while you go get changed and then meet me in Jessica’s suite,” she rushed out before she changed her mind and dropped to her knees, bringing his pants with her.
She lowered her eyes to the tie on the floor and crouched to grab it. She hadn’t noticed it fall. She pulled the material through the loose circle of her hand, maintaining eye contact with him.
“Give me twenty minutes before you join us,” he said.
“Why?” Her gaze fell to his hard-on as he took the tie from her.
“Because I’m gonna go jerk off, so I don’t snap the arms off the chair in Jessica’s room, and so my balls don’t die.”
“That’s all your fault.”
He draped the tie around his neck. “I know.” He inhaled sharply. “Make that five minutes. It’s not gonna take me long at all.”
Years of concealing her carnal thoughts now over, she leaned in and mouthed, “I’m really tight. Really, really tight.”
Her back hit the wall again.
Her arms above her head this time.
“I hate you,” he murmured against her mouth before kissing her roughly.
And when he tore his lips from hers, she added, “Go. If you’re not going to change your mind, I have a date with my vibrator.”
He angled his head and took a quick step back, releasing her from her boxed-in position. “Since when do you own a vibrator? I know everything about you and—”
“Apparently not everything.” Her lips rolled inward to suppress a grin when his phone rang.
He grabbed his cell from his pocket. “It’s Jessica.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means no vibrator and my balls are gonna fall off.”