Chapter 5 #3
He started to pull away, but she snaked a hand around the back of his neck to keep him in place.
“I mean, I should be working,” she clarified in case he’d thought Jack was more than a friend and co-worker.
“So should I.” He brought his mouth back to hers and nipped her bottom lip. “We can stop.”
But her response was to lift her hips, desperate to be closer. To have him inside of her. She wanted to grind herself against the erection in his heavy-duty cargo pants.
Her nipples strained against the fabric of her bra as she shifted and rotated against his hard length.
She was about to ask if he had a condom by any chance when an unfamiliar voice met her ears. “Ahem.”
She opened her eyes, and Wyatt stilled on top of her. They both turned their heads to the side to see who was there, who was watching them lose control.
A man she recognized from the rescue was standing in front of the glass door with a giant grin on his face. “I knocked, but you didn’t hear.”
“What’s up, Finn?” Anger, mixed with an I don’t give a fuck what you want, just go away, filled his tone.
“Thought you’d want to know Admiral Chandler caught an earlier flight than expected. Luke and Asher went to pick him up.”
Her father showing up would be a nightmare. Wyatt could handle himself, but she didn’t need for him to be on the receiving end of her father’s wrath.
Finn turned and left, and Wyatt dropped his forehead to hers. “Well, shit.”
“You prefer my dad not go all scorched-earth on ya, huh?” Humor was her go-to in the face of disappointment.
Maybe this Finn guy had saved her from making a mistake, though? Could she have handled a one-morning stand—is that a thing?—or would she have wanted more after?
She could talk a big game, vow that she was forever single, but sex without strings had never worked for her during college. Why would now be any different, especially with a man like Wyatt?
“I really don’t want to stop.” He pushed up and held the brunt of his weight above her with his palms positioned on each side of her body. “But it’s not ideal for the admiral to walk in on me devouring the daughter I was hired to rescue.”
He rolled off her and stood to snatch his shirt and hat.
She grabbed her shirt as well and pulled it over her head. “Probably not, but it’d make for great TV,” she said with a laugh. More joking. I’m just batting a thousand. “I’m super out of practice with the sex stuff. I’ve been living up to my whole ‘forever single’ thing as you can see.”
She’d had sex since she’d seen Wyatt at the wedding, but her biyearly teeth cleaning appointments were more regular than her orgasms.
“I would’ve loved to do a hell of a lot of practicing with you today.” He smiled. “But maybe it’s for the better?”
“Wrong place, wrong time.” Again.
“I really hope you don’t stay single forever, by the way,” he said while putting on his hat.
“Why is that?” she asked, her voice soft, the promise of something more still hanging in the air between them.
“You’re one hell of a woman.” He tugged on the brim of his ball cap. “I don’t have to know you well to see that. And any man would give his left nut to have a chance at even one night with you, let alone a lifetime.”
“Not his right one?” she joked. “But what about you? You thinking about ever settling down?”
“Marriage won’t happen for me.”
“You married Clara.” Why am I such a buzzkill? That was supposed to be her father’s job.
“That’s because I was young, and I hadn’t yet realized I’m not cut out for marriage.” His voice was low, flat. Sheltering her from hearing any possible emotions. Keeping her from seeing inside to get to the truth about why he didn’t want to remarry.
A cold shiver rolled over her skin at his words. “I assume it’s not because of the monogamy part.” She was reaching. Poking. It was in her nature to push and prod. To get sources to turn and divulge info, and it was so second nature she hadn’t realized she was even using her tradecraft on him.
He shook his head. “The knowing how to love part is where I’ll fail.”
An achy pain crawled into her chest. “That’s really sad,” she admitted before she could catch the truth from slipping past her carefully crafted defenses that today were made of sticks and straw, no slathering of cement between the cracks like normal. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean—”
“It’s quite alright.” He stepped away from her. The demarcation line now drawn. His boundaries had been reset. Rescuer. Rescued. “I thought I loved Clara, but she, uh, made me realize that I’m just not capable of that.”
She couldn’t stop herself from reaching for his wrist, and his pulse climbed beneath her thumb.
“Those guys who were with you when you rescued me—you care about them? Would you die to protect them?”
“Of course.”
Her brows knitted. “Then I think you’re wrong. You’re not incapable of love.”
“That’s different. They’re like brothers.”
“Mm. I don’t know. I think there’s a difference between capability and want. And maybe you don’t want to love. Maybe you’re like me, and loving is just too scary. You’re afraid of getting hurt again.”
She was about to get kicked back to Langley, and here she was having some profound conversation about love and sharing her own fears with the man who killed a bunch of bad guys to save her. What was going on?
“Maybe you’re right.” He pressed his lips into a hard, almost unforgiving line. She’d expected more to follow, but he left his thoughts unfinished. Perhaps like her, he didn’t really have a damned idea what else to say on the matter.