Chapter 20
CHAPTER TWENTY
Ana tightened the knot of the black silk robe she’d thrown in her bag at the last minute. A lightning-quick shower after her dip in the pond while A.J. phoned Harper had done nothing to cool off the desire her sexy cowboy had awakened.
I let him go down on me. What was I thinking? She cursed the guilt trying to rope her in. Stop thinking. You were giving yourself permission to finally live after refusing to feel anything real for a long, long time.
She clamped her legs together and set a hand to the wall outside her bathroom door when little pulses of need began clamoring for her attention yet again at the memory of A.J.’s hands and mouth on her body.
When she told him the truth about her parents, it felt as though the weight of her past had been lifted. A.J. accepted her, flaws and all, and she wondered, as crazy as it seemed, if she was starting to—
“It’s me. You decent?” A knock followed A.J.’s words.
It was unlocked, but she slowly strode toward the door. Nervous and excited at the same time to see him again. Was it ridiculous that she felt like a teenager about to open the door for her prom date, hoping that he’d like her dress?
Prom. Something she’d only wished she’d experienced. A.J. would’ve made an amazing date. He probably had every girl in school hoping he’d asked her to the dance.
“One second.” She took a deep breath and placed her palms on her warm cheeks, praying they weren’t as red as her hair at the memory of his mouth between her legs.
She swung open the door and stepped back. One hand braced against the wall outside the door, the other positioned at his side. He looked clean and smelled delicious.
His fingers began to drum against the leg of his khaki cargo shorts, and she followed the length of his body up to see him staring at the plunging neckline of her silk robe. Was he nervous, too? “You promised I wouldn’t see you in that.”
“Yeah, well, things change. This robe seems downright modest after the pond and, you know . . .” And there went her cheeks, probably firecracker red now.
His brows pulled together, making a show of pretending to be confused, and then he brought his arms across his chest. And oh, those arms. Defined, but naturally sculpted, like A.J. had tossed bales of hay over and over again, not like he’d pumped iron at the gym.
And that six-pack with the V that disappeared beneath his boxers . . .
His strong back muscles. The trim waist that went up to broad shoulders. Per-freaking-fection.
“No, I don’t actually know.” His lips curved into a knowing smile. “You should tell me.”
She set a hand to the fresh white tee he wore, her palm settling on his chest above his crossed arms. His heart was beating fast. Was it because he had news from Harper or because they were no longer denying their scorching chemistry?
“Now that I think about it, I seem to remember you taking your shorts off and pretty much begging me to lick that sweet pussy of yours. So, I guess you’re right, that robe doesn’t do much considering I’ve seen what’s underneath.” Humor infiltrated his tone.
“And you’re such a bad liar. This little thing still turns you on.” She surprised herself with a jab right back. “Undressing me with your eyes right now.”
His cocky grin had her playfully rolling her eyes and using her hand on his chest to push herself away.
She turned and walked back into the room, expecting he’d follow, but when she stole a look back, he remained in the doorway.
“You’re right, which is why I shouldn’t come inside.
” His forehead was tight, lips barely parted as he spoke. An attempt at restraint?
“Phone call that bad?” She sat on the bed and fidgeted with the belt of her robe, adjusting it to ensure there was no boob action. She peered up, finding him still standing rigid in the doorway.
And . . . maybe stiff below the belt? His pants were a bulky material, but there’d been a twitch of something down there just now.
She never had a chance to get a look at him beneath those starred and striped boxers down by the pond, but she’d certainly felt his hard length press against her.
“No, because if I come into your room, that robe will be on the floor faster than you can say ‘Yes, please.’”
And does it need to stay on? Probably. Maybe.
Well, for now. She had zero regrets about what happened at the pond.
But on the other hand, what sane and rational person got down and dirty and had oral sex when her very life and reputation were on the line?
I was living. Feeling, she reminded herself again, hating the buttoned-up, straight-edged FBI agent who kept taking over inside her head.
Maybe instead of a checklist of everything that’d gone wrong, she ought to make one for everything that had been going right? A.J. showing up in her life when she needed him, for starters.
Memories licked her mind with furious intensity once again about what happened at the pond. The soft strokes of his tongue coupled with the scratchiness of his beard along each thigh.
“My team is settling into their current location. They ended up finding a place about twenty minutes away,” A.J.
said, sounding regretful that he had to force himself back into operator mode.
“I gave them the Cliff’s Notes version of what we already told Jessica and Asher.
” He pushed away from the frame of the door to stand straight and scratched the back of his neck.
“My team knew some of your story already. And your unit is now aware of your real name and the new identity given to you by the FBI when you turned eighteen. They also know what happened to your parents.”
This was to be expected, and yet, it had her shaking on the inside a little. “They think I’m the spy, right? The leak?”
“Which ‘they’? My teammates or yours?”
She’d seen a touch of doubt in Jessica’s eyes earlier when Ana had shared her story. Not so much Asher because she’d swear that man was rooting for her and A.J. to be more than “on the run” together. “You pick which one to tell me about first.”
A deep inhalation through his nose probably wasn’t the best of signs. “I’ve convinced my people you’re who you say you are, and they’ve promised to trust my judgment.”
“Because you trust me, they’ll trust me?” She leaned forward slightly and brought her hands to her bare knees, the silk sliding higher up on her thighs.
“Right,” he answered, slowly nodding. Ana was becoming quite fond of A.J.’s Southern accent, especially when he said this word in particular. Riiiight. She kind of loved that drawl. And she was now stalling as to how to respond.
“And my team?” Halle and Dean might give Ana a chance to explain, but her disappearing act wasn’t going to do wonders for her innocence. “Aside from Porter, we still don’t know who else is aware of my UC assignment.”
“You may not believe this, but Director Mendez admitted he was the one to sign off on your hire six years ago. As well as your promotion to HQ. He hasn’t mentioned your UC assignment, but that might mean he was the one who gave Porter approval in the first place for you to infil the Volkovs.”
“Mendez hated me back in Charlotte.” Her tone was weak as she recalled working with the FBI director.
“Don’t take it personally. He sure as hell hated my guys then, too.
And I may not like Mendez, but if you’re going to have someone on your side at the Bureau, he’s the guy to have.
” A.J. added a nod meant to make her feel better, but she was still swimming in a sea of doubt about who to trust at the Bureau.
The memory of the pond was quickly slipping from her mind when all she wanted to do was wrangle it in and think only about her feelings for A.J.
And maybe now wasn’t the time to tell A.J. the USB file from Porter’s safe contained the evidence of her UC assignment, which meant someone out there knew where her loyalties truly lay.
“Your, um”—A.J. cleared his throat—“ex-husband is leading the not-guilty charge. He insists I hijacked you or hurt you.” A smile curved at his lips. “Not that he knows who I am, but his description of me to your unit was colorfully inaccurate.”
She could imagine what Kyle had said. “Are you going to be okay? I don’t want your work with me coming back on you.”
“Natasha has me covered. Plus, I’m pretty good with POTUS.” He winked, and it was exactly what she needed. A touch of sweetness in a moment of brutal truth.
“Other than Kyle, does anyone believe I’m innocent?” she asked again since he hadn’t answered her the first time. “What about Deputy Winters or my unit chief? They didn’t seem to have a clue about my UC assignment based on our last meeting yesterday.”
And wow, yesterday was lightyears ago. Today had been one long but surprising day that’d started on the road at sunrise and ended with an orgasm at sunset.
“Winters didn’t even want to entertain the idea of the existence of the ledger yesterday, so I don’t know what that might mean,” she added. “And Gray was in agreement with him.”
“Well, you can rule out Gray. He definitely wasn’t aware of your history before tonight, but he’s solid.
” Ana had a feeling A.J. knew something he couldn’t share, and as honest as she’d been with him and his team, it stung a touch, but she understood the nature of classified work.
Just because she’d broken her oath to speak the truth to A.J.
didn’t mean he’d be able to do the same with her.
“But several in your unit have turned on you. With the Volkovs returning five months ago, you starting work at HQ shortly after, and then you insisting on personally dealing with both Volkov sources . . . it paints a shitty picture.”
“Whoever leads the charge against me the most vehemently—”
“Is probably the real leak,” A.J. finished for her.