Chapter 12 #2
Roman matched her stare with hooded eyes, their usual mocha color now a deep espresso. Harper licked her lips as her body instinctively recognized his desire. The passion radiating between the two of them was undeniable.
“You wouldn’t have to ask me to sneak around because I’d probably request that of you, too. Until we know if there can be—”
“There can’t be more.” He immediately looked away from her, his jaw tightening.
Why did she get the feeling his baggage was even heavier than hers?
She shifted on the bed to drop her legs to the side.
“My mom died when I was two. Cancer took her from me. I only know her voice because of the old VCR tapes Dad kept from their life together.” She closed her eyes, noticing the tremble in her voice.
“Then terrorists stole my father from me, and if it weren’t for my desire to get vengeance for the lives lost that day, I don’t know how I would have survived his death. ”
Roman’s hand wrapped over her shoulder had her shivering, but she wasn’t done talking. Not done trying to work through her feelings to get to an answer that made sense for the two of them.
“Every time I get a phone call, I expect to hear that someone else I care about has died.” She set her hands on her lap.
“I’m still waiting for that call, which is horrible.
But I just . . .” She sniffled, and he attempted to turn her toward him, but she resisted.
“And my work with the CIA, well, some of it messed me up, I’m not gonna lie about that. Eight out of ten days, I’m fine.”
“I know those days. The days you’re not fine. You don’t wear one of your favorite T-shirts.” His gruff, emotion-filled voice finally had her looking back at him, and he released his grip of her shoulder.
“I don’t think I could handle it if that call came and it was about you.
But whether we sneak around or not, that risk is still there because of our work.
” She let go of a deep breath. “And whether I get one day or six more months with you, I’d rather have that than nothing at all.
” She positioned herself on the bed so she was on her knees, and he palmed her cheek, cupping her face.
“There are things about me,” he began, his voice rough, “and I don’t want to hurt you.” His expression grew dark as if he were terrified he’d one day break her heart. And not because of a phone call.
She nodded as one tear tried desperately to escape, but she fought like hell to check her emotions. “We can make this work as long as we don’t get distracted when working on ops.” She pointed at his chest. “And you can’t ever choose me over saving a civilian.”
He shook his head, and she knew it was in response to her second demand.
“If you want to touch me again, then you need to agree. That’s a deal-breaker.
” Her father had covered her body with his to save her life.
And a Green Beret sacrificed his life and took a bullet from Brandon to keep her alive.
No, her principles and sense of duty wouldn’t accept Roman choosing her over an innocent person simply because they were having sex.
“I’ll save you both,” he grumbled.
“And the guys can’t know. I don’t want them to try and push us when—”
“No one can know,” he cut her off in a firm, resolute voice. “That’s a deal-breaker for me.” He let go of her cheek and angled his head, clearly waiting for her to make up her mind.
“Okay,” she whispered.
Wives of special operators always knew the job came first, which wasn’t a problem for Harper. Her work was front and center, too.
But she was lying when she said more was overrated, and maybe she was lying to the both of them when she said she’d be okay with only a day or six months. She wanted forever with this man.
A broken heart down the road sounded better than one now, though.
And maybe, somehow, they’d work through their issues and find a way to bring their relationship out of the shadows and into the light. And one day, maybe Roman would open up to her, and she might do the same.
That’s a lot of maybes.
He couldn’t seem to shake the look of worry or the conflict in his eyes, and that scared her. But then he circled her with his strong arms and brought her closer to him. “There is one more concern.”
She lifted her chin, waiting for him to continue. “Yes?” she asked with trepidation.
A lopsided but devilish grin cut across his mouth. “Will you be able to keep up with me?” He surprised her by lifting her shirt over her head in a flash and flipped her beneath his broad and muscular frame.
He held himself over her, a pensive but sexy look on his face, and she reached between his legs and grabbed hold of his hard shaft, which had him clenching his jaw.
“Care to make a bet?” she asked with a laugh, her grim thoughts a distant memory. She looped her leg around his and used a Jiu-Jitsu move Finn taught her, most likely not intended for sex, and managed to get herself on top of Roman.
Ha, like that would’ve really happened if he hadn’t let it.
“So, it’s gonna be like that, huh?” he asked with a throaty laugh as her hair spilled down onto him. He gathered a fistful of her dark locks, currently threaded with a few bold highlights, and he gently tugged.
“Yeah, well, I know you Teamguys have a reputation to uphold in the bedroom, and I’m happy to prove to you I can handle whatever you give me.”
He lifted his head to set a fierce, hot kiss on her lips and pulled her flat against his chest.
Their lips parted a few minutes later, and she was panting slightly from the long, sensuous kiss.
“I want you to be happy,” he said in a raspy voice a moment later as she found her breath. His hand left her hair to cup her chin. “And safe.”
“Don’t you realize I’m those things with you?”