Chapter 19
CHAPTER NINETEEN
A hard-hitting electronic song pounded through the room, hiding the heavy swipes Jessica was taking at the punching bag. The surround sound was so loud he could feel the vibrations pulse through him.
He stared at Jessica in her black yoga pants and black sports bra, sweat dripping down her spine as she worked her gloves at the bag.
What the hell are you doing?
He lowered the music, and it had her whirling to face him. “Good. You made it.” She propped her gloved hands to her hips and sucked in a sharp breath.
As he made his way through the gym, which was hidden in the basement of the skyscraper of their office building, he couldn’t help but notice the light marks still on her stomach from the motherfucker who’d hurt her.
“Last night, when I said you should fight,” he said, stopping in front of her, “I didn’t mean literally.”
Her chest rose and fell with heavy breaths.
Waking up to a text to meet at the gym had been about the last thing he’d expected when he’d rolled out of bed that morning.
“You were right. I’ve been hiding out at my place, and I needed to get out. To remember who I am.” She wet her lips and touched a glove to her forehead, pushing back some of the blonde hairs that had escaped her ponytail. “You made me realize I need to do what I did when Marcus died.”
“And what was that?” He hadn’t witnessed what happened to her back then, and he was beginning to wonder if maybe he’d screwed up with what he’d said to her last night.
“I need to focus on work. To fight.”
He cocked a brow. “Killing our punching bag is your solution?”
“Better than pummeling people, like you’ve been doing,” she shot right back.
And now he knew how she’d coped with Marcus’s death: burying emotions and redirecting her anger and focus elsewhere. He’d been guilty of the same, but maybe what worked for him wasn’t necessarily the best route for recovery.
“Listen, I think I misspoke last night. I want you to fight but maybe—”
“No,” she said and edged closer. “You were right. I need this. But it’s been a while since I’ve trained. I mostly sit safely behind my computer while you guys do all the work. Maybe I wasn’t prepared in Berlin.”
“You shouldn’t be in the field.”
She balked. “Because I’m a woman?”
Normally, he’d say some stupid remark to piss her off; he loved to drive her crazy. But today wasn’t a typical day. What happened to her had changed things. Hell, it had changed everything. He just hadn’t figured out what that meant yet.
“I got you shot in France,” she said softly. “If I’m in the field, I distract you?”
Yes, but . . . “When you’re on comms, I feel safer. You have my back, and it helps me get the job done knowing you’re there, looking out for us.”
Her mouth pinched briefly.
“But you should be able to defend yourself.” Not that he ever wanted her going anywhere alone ever again, but he doubted he’d be able to chain her to his side for all of eternity, even if he liked that idea.
Maybe he could insert a tracking device into the back of her neck or arm?
“Well, that’s why I asked you here. Will you train with me? I need to get better.”
He allowed his lungs to fill with air as he processed her question.
“I don’t want you going back to Angelo’s club, though,” she said a beat later. “Fight with me, instead.”
“Let you hit me, you mean?” He cracked a smile. “Because you know I’d never lay a hand on you. Not even with gloves.”
She moved closer, her chest practically touching his, and she lifted her chin. “You’d never touch me, huh?” Her glove skated up his chest, and he swallowed hard at the proximity.
She’d had a bomb strapped to her chest less than ten days ago.
Why the hell was his dick stirring in his pants right now?
“Promise me you won’t go back.” She held his eyes. “Be with me instead.”
Be with you? That’s all he’d wanted, even though he knew it was impossible. “Okay,” he rasped, not sure how he got sucked into doing something he may regret later.
He went to the stereo and turned up the music, and then kicked off his boots and removed his shirt. “Let me grab some other pants from my locker. Be right back.”
She nodded, but he could feel the heat of her stare on his back as he left.
When he returned, wearing only his dark drawstring sweats, he found her standing at the center of the fighting cage.
He thought back to last night, to the fight before his sister had shown up. The fight before he’d found himself drinking and then going to Jessica’s place.
His body itched for it—the feel of control fighting gave him.
Control. Fighting could empower Jessica, he supposed. But would it also make her like him? Dodging emotions by way of fists?
Maybe Berlin had woken her up to the fact there was more to life than work, but now he’d single-handedly encouraged her to shield her feelings once again.
Fuck. He blew a sigh from his lips as he ducked under the rope, and she tossed a pair of gloves at him.
“I won’t be needing these. I’m not hitting you, remember?
” He shook his head lightly as he dropped them off to the side.
“Are you sure you should be doing this right now?” He had to at least try again. “Maybe you should talk through your—”
“Unless you’re Oprah or Dr. Phil, that’ll be a hard pass from me.” She cleared her throat. “Besides, I did about all the talking I need to for the next few lifetimes last night.”
Titanium walls resurrected.
I’m such an idiot. “Jessica, I meant what I said about not wanting you to quit or give up, but that doesn’t mean I think you need to be hard as—”
“Ice?” She stepped in closer, her eyes possessing him, sucking him into her universe. “A rock?” She removed her gloves and tossed them next to his. “I need this.” She snapped her hands into fists in front of her face in a boxing position. “Now that we’re done with this wonderful talk, let’s fight.”
He observed the faint bruises on her skin, and anger bunched in his stomach. But he gave in to her. Like always. He flicked his wrists, motioning for her to step closer, and she followed his command.
“Don’t hold back. I need to be better prepared. Stronger than the enemy.”
His heart was going to break at her words. Hell, it’d already broken a million times over at every reminder of what she’d been through.
But he nodded because he couldn’t get himself to say anything.
Over the next hour, they practiced everything from rear-naked chokeholds to the basic karate self-defense moves.
And now, Jessica was boxed beneath him, her back to the floor. She squeezed her eyes closed as he held his body weight above her. “You ready to stop?” A smile flickered over his face when she focused on him again.
Her chest heaved up and down with deep breaths, and her skin glistened with sweat. He’d often envisioned her in this position, but for very different reasons.
She tipped her chin and found the ceiling. “I’m not done. No.”
“I think you should be done. For today, at least.” He angled his head, not wanting to get up yet.
“Ten more minutes?” Her tongue swept over her bottom lip as she steadied the rhythm of her breathing.
God, he shouldn’t want to suck that bottom lip. To pull it between his teeth and taste her.
He inwardly groaned.
She pressed a hand to his sweat-covered chest. “Angel wings are very fitting since you think you’re my guardian angel.” She stared at the ink. “And the Irish fighter on your right arm—”
“What’s going on?” a voice called out, killing her words.
Asher’s eyes widened, and he pushed off her and rose. He extended a palm to help her stand before his gaze veered to Luke heading their way from the elevator.
“Let me handle this,” she said with a nod, and then started for her brother. “We were training.”
Asher left the ring, snatched his shirt from where he’d tossed it, and pulled it on. Talk about an erection killer. Then again . . . maybe he needed a cock block to keep his mind from diving into dangerous waters. Waters he’d probably drown in given the woman he was with.
He turned off the music and started toward them.
“Why are you here? And training? Really?” Luke folded his arms, tucking his hands beneath the armpits of his army-green long-sleeved shirt. His blue eyes ripped straight to Asher.
“I asked him to train with me. I needed to get out of my apartment. To get my head back together,” she said, crossing her arms to match Luke’s defensive stance.
“You should be resting. You were in Berlin only—”
“I remember exactly where I was,” she interrupted. “You don’t need to remind me.”
Luke’s brows pinched together. “You should’ve asked me to help you. I could’ve trained with you.”
“You need to focus on Eva and Lara,” she said. “How’d you know we were down here?”
“I saw you on the security cameras when I came into the office.”
Of course, he’d be there at the crack of dawn. They’d all been arriving before the sun rose to get in extra work time. Asher had been so distracted he’d nearly forgotten about the security cams and how it might look to Luke if he saw Asher on top of his sister.
“You should get back home and rest.” Luke’s voice had a soft plea to it, and he pressed a hand to her shoulder.
“I’ve got to take a shower.” She peered over her shoulder to glance at Asher. “Thank you,” she mouthed and then started for the women’s locker room.
“Sorry, man,” Asher said once she was out of earshot. “She texted me and asked me to meet her here.”
“Does she know you’ve been fighting again?”
Asher gripped the back of his neck. “I’m not going to fight anymore.”
Luke’s mouth tightened, and he sighed. “Get cleaned up and then meet me upstairs. The rest of Bravo is on their way.” He headed toward the elevators, his back muscles pinched tight.
Asher dragged his hands down his face and then went into the men’s locker room. He saw the text from Luke asking him to meet at the office—the message he hadn’t gotten since he’d been in the ring with Jessica.
He set his phone down and removed his sweatpants.
“Thanks for not telling him about last night.”