Chapter 3
CHAPTER
THREE
CALEB
Summer arrived in full force, which meant more work and the potential for fires, especially when you lived in a desert. It was getting hotter than Hades here, bone-dry of water. A dread lurked in the hot blasts of the wind. Phoenix was an incredible city, but no first responder welcomed summer with its heat and higher chance for devastation.
The morning meeting was full of people grabbing cups of bitter-tasting coffee. Wyatt had no doubt made this batch.
Phin was the first person to greet me. Regardless of my lack of sleep, I had a smile ready.
“How goes it?” He gave me a fast hug.
“Good. Heading to the coffeepot for a refill.” I stretched out my arms in zombie-like fashion, my empty cup dangling from my fingers, making him laugh.
“Same, dude. I need all the caffeine available.” He glanced at the door. “Especially before Captain Smack comes in.”
We poured two mugs of coffee with milk and sugar. Phin showed me a cute photo of him and James hiking some red rocks. James had a book tucked under his arm as Phin plowed ahead. The last picture had the two of them doing a Rocky dance at the top of the hike. Their dog, Ginsberg, was even in one picture, his tongue lolling out in a big doggie grin.
Phin sipped his coffee. “How was the yoga class?”
“When they go left, I go right. When they put their foot to their bums, mine dangles like a flapping fish.”
“Oh, man.” Phin chuckled. “Why go, then, if you’re that bad at it?”
“By the end of the class, I’m sweaty and refreshed.”
“And are you still broken up with Tanner these days?”
I rolled my eyes.
When he’d returned from his honeymoon, Phin grilled me about being at his wedding with Tanner as my date, and it had taken some convincing that we weren’t together. Yet every day, Phin asked me this. I got it. I was the boy who cried wolf with Tanner. Taking him back, breaking up, taking him back.
“We’re over.”
“For now?” Phin raised a skeptical eyebrow.
I folded my arms. “For good.”
“Ah, heard this one before.” Phin cupped his ear. “Might need you to repeat it.”
“I’m for real this time,” I objected. “And for the last time, dude, he crashed the wedding. I just didn’t want to make a scene there.”
“I hope so? And I appreciate the lack of a Tanner fight. It would have really upset James. But you know I’ve been there for the other times. And it has sucked to witness Tanner sweet-talk you back after the way he treated you in the hospital and all. I’m not trying to be a dick.” Phin blew out a long breath. “I’m your friend, and I care about you. Honestly, dude? It’s hard to believe this is going to stick. Especially hearing all the excuses every time you gave Tanner another damn chance. Even when it was bad for you.”
“Damn…” I floundered. His remarks hurt, even if they were true.
“Aw, Caleb. I just think you deserve a good person, one who treats my best friend the way he should be treated.” Phin sighed.
I swallowed a lump in my throat. “That’s why I broke up with him, and I meant it. I—I want that for me, too.”
Phin smiled and gave me a quick squeeze. “It’ll happen.”
“Thanks.” I really did intend to stick with the breakup this time. Even if Tanner refused to get the memo. I was seriously done. I’d driven the rest of his crap to him a week ago, and I ignored his texts, ignored my loneliness and doubts. It was hard, but I was slowly making progress.
“In that case.” Phin nudged my arm. “James was asking if the latest dating app was any better than the other three you tried the last time you guys broke up.”
I shook my head. Selecting a photo for my profile had been tough. Using an old photo from before my accident didn’t seem right, but I didn’t have many current photos, so I’d settled for one with my face in the shadows, letting the focus be on my body. But I hadn’t yet found someone on any of them that I felt comfortable with.
“He might even be somebody you already know,” Phin added, glancing behind me.
“Morning,” Captain’s voice boomed near me.
“Good morning, Smack,” said Phin.
“Um…hey,” I said weakly, caught off guard.
The moment he entered the room, my entire body reacted to him, going on high alert, as if to signal what I could have if I took a chance. There was a man who needed no improvements, in my humble opinion.
“All right, let’s discuss our schedule because we have some sudden changes on the agenda.” Captain Smack shuffled some papers in his hands. He was old-school, printing out things instead of emailing them.
It was adorable.
“First of all, we have a situation near Scottsdale. Could be teens again with their damn firecrackers. I’d like Phin to lead a team there since he dealt with a similar issue before.”
“And teens all love me,” Phin claimed, his eyes sparkling.
He didn’t react to the fact his assignment might lead him to Scottsdale. I knew his mom was out there, but they were fairly estranged. Phin was better since finding James, but I still worried about how much loss he’d suffered in the past. Phin had been sober for years now. Nothing was as strong a trigger as childhood shit, though.
“Do you want me to go instead?” I whispered to him.
“Naw, dude, I got it.” He flashed me a grateful smile.
Smack shuffled more papers. “Listen up. We have an inspector coming. Wyatt, you’ll show him around this week.”
Wyatt looked like he’d rather chew glass, but he nodded.
You didn’t argue with Captain Smack. If you did, there would be a stony glare worthy of Medusa. Years ago, I’d felt like Medusa myself, lying in my hospital bed, when my station mates came to visit, staring at me in shock like they’d been turned to stone.
“Just don’t give that inspector any of your chili,” warned Phin.
“My chili is fine.” Wyatt flipped him the bird.
“Nothing you make is fine, dude,” Phin retorted.
“What’s wrong with his chili?” whispered one probie to another.
Kamira winked at me before smirking at Wyatt. “I wouldn’t even give that chili to the cat Caleb rescued last week, and the cat’s got another eight lives.”
Wyatt pouted, but he gave up on sharing his chili. Ever since he gave us all food poisoning two Valentine’s Days ago with his seafood stew, no one who’d been there trusted him to make more than microwaved popcorn.
Phin especially held a grudge since his roiling stomach cost him a night of romance. It had been a big deal to Phin to woo James, and that was hard to do with multiple trips to the bathroom.
“Captain Smack had some,” Wyatt informed us.
“Extra brave, aren’t you, Captain?” Kamira asked.
Smack tapped his clipboard. “Enough about Wyatt’s culinary skills. Back on task, people. This last item is important. We’ve been asked to fight a wildfire. I’m sure you are all aware of the multiple fires occurring in California.”
“Oh, yeah, I did.” Wyatt waved a hand in the air as if in grade school. “One more is heading here.”
“Yeah, that’s bullshit. The wind is about to change,” Phin said.
“It was on the Weather Channel.” Wyatt flushed.
“Are we talking about helping?” Kamira asked. “And for what amount of time do they need us?”
Up until her question, Smack had simply let the others talk. He tended to do that. We could ask questions, make comments. No matter how guarded he could be, Smack was fair.
“I think it’s worse in Northern California,” a probie offered, which I was sure the captain knew.
But he simply nodded at the probie. Captain Smack had a way of listening, like he was going to remember every word and file it away—a rare trait.
“How long is unclear. I’m going for sure and need one other person. It might be a longer trip, depending on how bad the fire gets.”
“What about Erin?” Kamira asked. “Won’t it be easier to just send two of us than you going?”
“Erin is spending part of the summer with Dan’s family in Seattle. They’ve been asking a long time now, and she seems finally old enough…” Smack paused, blinking as if processing that his kid wouldn’t be with him for a little while. “So, going away to San Bernardino County for a few weeks—if it comes to that—isn’t an issue for me.”
Despite his matter-of-fact tone, Captain Smack looked a little lonely at the idea of Erin gone. I itched to put my arms around him. To tell him that while Erin was gone, all of his firefighters would step up and be his family.
“So, here’s the deal. Cal Fire has asked us to join their Strike Team. And Emergency Services has already arranged transportation for us.”
“A tent? That’s what we had last time.” Phin made a face. “Mine ripped on day two.”
“Actually, we have converted fifty-three-foot trucking trailers into sleeping facilities, and they are air-conditioned while being kept dark.”
“Sweet.” Phin whistled. “Damn, I wish I could go with ya, Smack, but James has this event with his folks?—”
“Yeah, you are on vacation in a week, it’s fine. I approved it.” He looked around at the rest of us. “The fire looks like a quick, hot mess. Our Strike Team anticipates a stay of up to twenty-one days before being rotated out, depending on how bad this becomes. You all might want to consider that?—”
“I’ll go,” I blurted out.
A week or more in close quarters with Smack.
Twist my arm.
He met my gaze with his piercing stare. “It’s gonna be a long one.”
I nodded, goose bumps tingling along my skin. I didn’t want to appear too eager and add to the teasing I already got about stalking the captain. But damn, I wanted this. Not that anything would actually happen. But I could still be near him. Obeying his commands. Sleeping beside him in the trailer.
It wasn’t only the chance to indulge in some up-close and personal Fantasy Smack daydreams. I wanted to serve.
“I’m ready to go. I’m pumped to go,” I added, then flushed. That sounded weird. Who was pumped to go to a wildfire?
Other firefighters, apparently. Because they all murmured in agreement, some with jealousy at not having the time to get free and volunteer.
God, I loved being among them. My people. They got me in ways those not on the job could ever totally understand. We firefighters needed to help. It was something my family didn’t get. My folks and sisters supported me, but they didn’t understand me. Especially after the accident, the burns. Why return to that? my mom had pleaded. Can’t you be done with it? But I wasn’t done. I had wanted to be a firefighter more than anything. I hated hurting my mom and making her worry about me, but like being a teacher or a priest or something, firefighting was a calling. To quit was unthinkable. I’d cried in relief when I was cleared to return.
“Hmm.” Smack still studied me. “If we go, I’ll need you to stick with me through it all.”
“I can stick with you. I’ll be like glue,” I vowed. “You won’t be able to get rid of me.”
Captain Smack opened his mouth a second, but he didn’t say anything. Beside me, I felt Phin shaking with laughter.
I grinned. I might be acting foolish, but I really did want to go and battle this one.
“Okay…” Smack hesitated, a muscle ticking in his jaw. “Unless Kamira objects? You do have seniority.”
“I might be able to go,” said Kamira slowly. “But, uh…I forgot my kid has a thing. He’s in a school show. He’s in the back row as a dancer, but it matters. Sorry, Smack—Caleb is the better choice for this one.” Kamira slid me a wink.
Oh my God. She was setting me up.
Smack frowned at Kamira. “Are you sure?”
That hurt my feelings. Did he think Kamira was the better firefighter? I would prove to him my worth. He’d want to take me to every damn wildfire in the history of wildfires. Forever.
“Something the matter?” I challenged him. Let him tell me to my face he didn’t want me.
“No, not a thing,” he answered firmly. “I guess it’s you and me, Caleb.”
“Yes, sir.” I smiled.
And despite Captain Smack usually acting badass, his cheeks flushed.
Phin nudged me with his elbow. Kamira smiled. They’d both encourage me to go beyond fantasies and ask him out if I asked for their opinions. But real-life relationships had only hurt me.
Besides, Captain Smack would never break the rules and date a fellow firefighter, much less one all scarred and damaged like me. He’d blushed because my flirting made him uncomfortable, not because he returned any feelings. Right?
“I’ll pick you up at 10:00 a.m. on Sunday, and we’ll head out,” Smack ordered.
“Yes, sir.”
Smack studied me, as if weighing my tone. I was 50 percent sure he disliked it. And the other 50 percent? Feared he liked it fine. For the first time in weeks, my heart gave an optimistic little jolt.