11. Chapter 11
Chapter 11
It’s day three of Mira calling off work, and I know for a fact that she is avoiding the whole situation. I don’t know if she is expecting Errol and I to forget what she said, but she is going to have to deal with us at some point.
With her not being around, it has fallen to me to take over control of everything. My Type A personality is living for it, with decisions coming down to my preferences. Making a list of what still needs to be done, I miss Errol walking into the room.
“Hey, are you busy?” I look up to see his face is full of the excitement that is usually missing when it comes to me. After our restart, I have no idea what to expect when we talk now.
“I can spare some time.” Putting down my notebook, I turn to face him.
“Great, then come with me.” Opening the door, he holds it for me.
Setting the pace, he moves in a brisk manner that makes it hard for me to keep up with. Once on the set, he begins to turn on all the lights. My mind races with a million ideas of what is going to come next, and despite our new relationship, none of the thoughts are good.
“Here.” He pulls a few pages from his back pocket.
I stare at them like they’re going to bite me, then hesitantly take them into my hand.
“What’s this for?”
He steps up close enough that the paper is all that separates us. Pointing to the first paragraph on the sheet, he looks down into my eyes.
“Read that”
I quirk an eyebrow, looking at him for answers.
“Just read it.”
I pull the page up and see he’s pointing at Fiona’s big speech when Dante breaks up with her. I recite the words with little flair, saying them as I see them on the page.
He tilts his head to the side as he pushes the paper closer to me.
“No, I want you to say it. Read it like you mean the words.”
I scoff, lowering the page down to rest on my leg.
“Why?”
“Do it, and then I’ll tell you.” He grabs my hand, lifting it back up until the words are in my sight.
Reading them over again, I look for the emotion behind the sentences. The drive to say it. I find it in the festering hole that Christian created.
“How could you? I don’t understand how you could take what we have and throw it away. I gave it all to you,” I rasp, mouth thick with the building tears. “I gave you all of me, and I thought you cherished it. But you didn’t. You can’t.”
I am no longer staring at the page, but at Christian as he stood in my living room.
“Your hands are too full of yourself to be able to hold what I give. They are too busy patching up the holes in your facade to grab me back. Well, that’s fine.”
I am hurt. I am mad. I am everything in between.
“I’ll be fine without you.”
The slow beat of Errol’s clapping hands pulls me from the memory, pushing me back to reality. I wipe away the single tear that escaped as I roll my eyes to stop the others.
“I knew it.” Errol practically jumps up and down as he pulls the script back.
“You knew what?”
“Olivia is in court-mandated rehab after crashing her car while high. She won’t be back in time to film.”
“Okay?”
“So we need to fill the role, and I think you’ll be a perfect fit.”
My eyebrows shoot up into my hairline as I rub my ears like I can’t believe what he is saying. He wants me to play the lead female role in the movie? Me?
“Are you out of your mind? I’m not an actress,” I say, taking three steps back.
“No, but you are pretty much the character I wrote. You’re vibrant, confident and curvaceous, and full of all the attitude Fiona has. You’re perfect.”
I’m swooning a little over his words, until suspicion creeps up the back of my neck, setting my hairs on edge.
“This is why you apologized, isn’t it? So that you can ask me to do this?”
His face instantly falls as his arms reach out to grab onto mine.
“No, Farrah, not at all. I’m truly sorry for what happened the other night. I was wrong. Plus, I just found out about it this morning.” His eyes are wide, pleading for me to believe him.
The earnest way he holds this look pushes me to give him the benefit of the doubt. It doesn’t matter anyway; it doesn’t change my decision.
“No, sorry, but no.” Stepping out of his reach, I cross my arms. Without his warm hands on me, a sudden chill sweeps across my skin.
“Farrah, you can’t be serious. You should have seen how you just performed that scene, and that was without any coaching. You’re a natural and I want you.”
The last three words creep down my body until they sweep in-between my legs setting my panties ablaze.
“Errol, you can find another plus-size actress perfect for this role. I’m a stylist.”
“You’re perfect for this role.”
“I can’t.” No longer in the mood to argue, I turn to make my way back to the room, leaving him to his delusions.
“With all the conviction that you strut through this set with, you’re going to tell me there is something you can’t do?”
Throwing the words after me like a net, they catch me up in their grasp.
“You seriously think I can do this?” I ask, turning around.
“I do.”
An actress. Me? Can I do it? Am I brave enough to try? If I pull this off, I can style myself for the premiere and any other appearances we make. This could be the break-through I need for my career. But acting in a movie with other people is a real commitment. Am I up to the task? People would kill for this kind of break, and here I am scoffing at it. Can I really turn down this opportunity?
“Fine,” I say.
“You’ll do it?”
I nod, getting ready to turn around before I change my mind.
“Okay great! Fantastic.” His legs are bouncing in place as he throws his hands in the air. “Let me get your number so I can text you a time and place for us to meet up tomorrow.”
Walking over, he hands me his phone. I reluctantly put my number in, and when I pass it back, his smile is on in full force, knocking me back a little. Having never seen this buoyant side of him, the positive attitude is a little infectious.
“We have a lot of work to do, but don’t worry, you’re going to do great,” he says as he takes off in the other direction.
I watch him go wondering if I just made the biggest mistake of my life.
The music is blaring as I walk into the house. Monty is throwing her hips from left to right as she rolls her hands in time with her body. A rapper tells her to dip it low, and she does as he says, dropping it to the ground before grinding back up. Popping her arms out to the beat, she is too busy to notice me watching her. I wait for the song to end, then I turn the music down and get her attention.
“Oh, hey.” A heavy breath escapes her before she is gulping down air again. Grabbing for the towel on the chair, she wipes away the excess sweat.
“Are you rehearsing?”
Smiling wide, she throws her braids over her shoulder and nods.
“What do you think?”
“I think you look amazing. You are going to kill whatever audition you get.”
The corners of her eyes crinkle as her mouth grows even wider.
“How was work?”
We both slide onto the couch, folding into ourselves. I can feel my hands tremor as I think back on today and the colossal mistake I made.
“Errol was literally waiting for me when I got in, and then he made the most insane request.”
Her green eyes widen.
“He wants you to quit? Or even worse, he wants you to say sorry, too? Wait, was it that he wants to take you on a date?” Of all of her guesses, her last one pulls me up short.
“What? No.” Why would he ask me on a date? I cut her off before she can continue. “It’s crazier than anything you could think of. He wants me to fill the lead female role in the movie.”
Her hands fly to her mouth as she throws herself back into the cushion. I wait for the excitement to shake out in her legs before I keep going.
“He’s literally insane, and so am I because I said yes.”
“Bitch, no you didn’t! This is amazing.” She stands up and jumps around the room, clapping her hands.
“No it’s not, it’s a mistake, and I have to plead temporary insanity when I tell him I changed my mind.”
“Don’t you dare. You’re going to do this.” Pulling me up with her, she drags us into the middle of the room. “You have the literal opportunity of a lifetime. People dream of being picked out of the fray like this to star in a movie. There is no way in hell you can turn that down.”
“I’m not an actress,” I say, trying to convey all the panic that bubbles in my throat at the thought.
“Who cares. A few months ago, you weren’t a costume designer, either. Look at the opportunities you’re already getting. Imagine the doors this will open for you.” She lets go of me, moving to grab a bottle of sparkling wine from our fridge. “Who knows, maybe you will even love doing this and find a new passion. Either way, what do you gain out of turning it down?”
Nothing. I would gain nothing from turning it down, and possibly everything from taking it on, and that scares the hell out of me. But when did I let fear be a deterrent for my life choices?
It didn’t stop me when I moved to Paris to go to Parsons. It had no say when I backpacked across Europe as a solo female. It was nowhere to be seen when I jumped head first into a battle with Errol. How could I let it stop me now?
“I’m going to be a movie star!”
We both start to scream as she pops the cork on the bubbly. As the liquid shoots into the air, we burst into a fit of giggles.