Chapter Eighteen
Leah
After all the years I have lived under his roof, this is what makes my father finally look at me.
He wouldn’t even glance in my direction when my brother died.
Not once. Now I’m pinned under his dark, hateful glare, and I wish to hell that I was still invisible, that fly on the wall, the ghost in his house that glides in and out of rooms, existing against his will.
Surviving when I should be the one in the ground.
He holds the crumpled letter, my letter, damning evidence against me in his hand. He knows what’s in it. He read it last night before I ran to my room.
He didn’t touch me last night. I thought maybe that I’d escaped his retribution, but by the look on his face, he’s only just beginning.
I’m in my father’s office and I realize it’s the first time I’ve been allowed in there.
He dragged me from my room this morning by a vise-tight hand that’s left purple bruises where the ironclad fingers dug in.
By allowed, I mean hurled in front of the massive mahogany desk, to see my father’s face, twisted and ugly with rage.
His business-like persona is gone, the nice face of an upstanding citizen he puts on for his friends and business associates, and in its place, is the monster I always knew was there.
“You fucking slut.” My father seethes. “How long have you been fucking that dirty biker?”
I sink my teeth hard into my lip until I taste blood.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I say as bravely as I can. “I… This is just—I haven’t done anything. It… It’s just a crush.”
I know that my face is red, so I don’t have to fake anything other than modesty. I drop my eyes to the floor in false piety and wait.
And wait.
The minutes tick by, and when I dare to look up, he has a wicked gleam in his eye that churns my stomach.
He’s looking at me like a thing. An object. Something that he can use in whatever sick and twisted game he’s playing. Because I know now that what Steel was saying was the truth. He would do anything to push Steel Riders out of Helena.
I want to ask him why, but think I already know.
It’s purely because Steel stood up to him.
Dared to defy him. The one man who didn’t bend over and bow to the mighty King Harris.
He’s opposed him for a decade, stuck like a thorn in his side, festering and poisoning his already black insides.
I don’t know if my father’s always been like this, if whatever the evil in him was bred into existence, deeply rooted in his cells, or if it was learned through privilege and money, but I want no part of it.
It makes me sick the way he’s looking at me.
His face composes itself into the schooled mask I know so well.
He’s a good-looking man, dark hair always fashionably cut short, clean shaved, athletic build that hasn’t faded with time.
He’s the all-American type, the kind of man who looks expensive and not just because they dress in thousand-dollar suits and the shoes to match.
All of it. Just a ploy to cover up the true evil that festers below.
“Sweetheart, of course you’re not to blame. This letter…” He waves the damning piece of evidence in the air. “It’s just fanciful thinking.”
Sweetheart? My father has never called me that.
I hate that his words sound so much like what Steel said to me when he was trying to dissuade me from laying claim to him.
Steel, though, said it out of concern. Not my father.
I offered to spy on my father in that letter, told Steel I’d see if I could find out why he hates him so much.
My father knows exactly what I was willing to do, which is why his next words chill me to the bone.
“I believe you, Leah. You haven’t done anything wrong. You’re just too naive and trusting. It’s that bastard, Steel, who led you astray. He knows you’re my daughter. He wants to get to me, so he’s used you to do it.”
What’s he up to? I know this all must be leading somewhere. I press my fingers into my palms until my nails bite in painfully against my flesh.
“You can redeem yourself, Leah. You can make this right. You can be the daughter that I always wanted.” His words are so sugary they make me feel sicker.
Bile creeps up my throat, but I swallow it back because I won’t let him see that I’m afraid.
I won’t let him see that it makes me sick to be called his daughter.
He should have always called me his daughter.
He should have loved me, but I know now that he’s a monster, incapable of feeling anything but spite.
“I... How?” I finally force myself to ask, playing along with whatever sick game he’s planning on playing.
I’ll do anything to protect Steel. None of it was his fault. Steel is a good man. A man who would have done anything to keep me safe. I’m not going to let my father bring the club down. They might be bikers, but they are a force of good in this town.
“He’s not just my enemy, Leah, he’s our enemy.
You’ll see that soon enough. You can show me your loyalty by helping me bring down his club.
He’s preyed on you, he’s undoubtedly done the same thing to other young women.
Hurt them. Forced them. Him and the rest of his thugs.
They’re a stain on this town. A black mark that needs to be removed.
” He’s pacing his office as he talks, but at those words he spins around and faces me.
I realize it’s an act. He’s turning on the charm he uses at city hall meetings, that charm that has allowed him to get away with his shady dealings without recrimination.
He continues, “We’ve tried to push them out, other honest businessmen such as myself.
We’ve seen them as the scourge they are, the threat to our women and children, ex-cons, men who were dishonorably forced out of the military, men who do unspeakable things.
That’s the kind of men they are. They shouldn’t be allowed to flourish here, create homes, and live among us.
They’ll corrupt our youth, destroy our children.
I always knew it would come to this, and now it has.
Now it’s happened to my own daughter, and I won’t stand for it.
Together, we can stop the spread of this disease. ”
I actually have to bite down on the inside of my cheek to choke back a laugh.
Who is this man fucking kidding? That stupid little speech wouldn’t have worked on me if I was a four-year-old kid.
I’ve always seen right through him. But I can’t laugh.
I can’t, though, because I have to play this just right.
I have to make him think that I’m the stupid naive girl he thinks I am.
I have to make him believe that I’m on his side, not working against him.
“I believed him…” I say, drawing on all my acting skills. Maybe I do take after my father?
“Of course you did. You’re too trusting, just like your mother,” he says.
“I… What do I have to do?” The tremble in my voice isn’t forced.
His lips slowly curl into a smile. “That’s my girl,” he croons like he didn’t ignore me my whole life and hate me after what happened with Liam. “I knew you’d want justice for yourself and for all the other people in Helena who’ve been hurt by that club.”
I grind my teeth together. “He never did anything to me, though. So I don’t know how to help you…”
My father moves fast. He rounds that desk like the athlete he used to be.
He actually was a football quarterback in high school, fucking cliché.
As if that isn’t enough, he also married my mother, the head cheerleader.
Just like the all-American dream, we became the all-American family.
Except that it was all a facade, probably right from the start.
He came from old money and married old money.
It was a fairy tale until I brought it all down around us.
Again.
I am the fuck up. The black sheep. The real threat to the pieced together world that he’s holding onto only by a thread.
I realize when his hands curl around my arms, his fingers biting in painfully, bruising me because he’s an unmerciful asshole and I can tell that he gets off on hurting people, on searing fear into them.
Gone is the faux, caring facade only to be replaced by the monster again.
His face inches from me as he spits out, “Listen, you little bitch. You’re the entire reason this family is suffering.
You killed your brother. You’re the reason your mother can’t bear to leave her room.
We’re holding it together by a thread. I won’t have everything I’ve worked hard to build go to shit because of you.
I’m not becoming the laughingstock of this town because you can’t keep your fucking legs together.
If you know what’s good for you, you’re going to hand over your lover like the Judas you are, and I’m going to burn him at the fucking stake. ”
I gag as I thrash against him, trying to pull away, but he holds me fast, rooted to the spot by the sheer force of his will and the horrible dread mounting inside of me.
“I’m asking you to do one thing. One damn thing.
You owe it to me! You killed my son!” He shakes me hard just so his words slam in like a battering ram through the pain and the shock.
I’m rooted to the spot. His words echo what I’ve told myself ever since Liam died.
But hearing the hate from my own father, I realize how wrong I was.
I’m not a murderer—it was an accident. A tragic accident, and I have to stop punishing myself.
Drawing strength from that I face my father and absorb his words. I’m bulletproof.
“You see, little cunt, I’m setting a trap for him.
I’ve been working hard, all these years, to take that MC down.
I couldn’t have planned this better if I tried though.
Your betrayal came at the perfect time. You might be a Judas, but you’re a Judas I can use.
You’ll lure him into that trap. You’ll be the death of him, and if you do it, I might see fit to spare you.
Send you away from here so that you can get an education and make something of yourself. How does that sound, daughter?”
The pure madness of the man in front of me takes my breath away.
“No?” He shakes me again hard, so hard that my neck snaps back and forth like a ragdoll, and I bite my tongue.
“I have a little more incentive for you then. Your mother. It’s painfully obvious she needs help.
I’ve been thinking about getting her what she needs, sending her away to an institution where she can recover, get off the pills, and get her life back.
Only, it’s a shame how many horrible places there are.
Places where they drug patients and rape them in their sleep.
Places where they tie people down and use, shall we call it, more experimental means to get what they want.
I’m sure you get the idea. If you don’t do what I want you to do, if you don’t deliver that piece of shit, I will make sure your mother is put away.
For good. You’ll never see her again. And I’ll make sure she knows that she’s there because of you. ”
Even after he backs off, a wicked smile of triumph splitting his face, my arms ache like he is still pressing on them.
I know it’s not an idle threat. I know what I have to do.
I will do it. I’ll do it, and I’ll hate myself for the rest of my life, but I’ll come back and save my mother.
I’ll save her from that kind of life, from the evil clutches of this monster’s hands.
And Steel… My Steel… I will have to trust that he can take care of himself. I have to trust his brothers to have his back even after I stab my knives in deep. Even if he never forgives me, I just want him to survive.
Survive this.
Survive me.
I raise my head, not even bothering to blink away the tears. “What do you want me to do?”