Chapter 26
Steel
A man could only take so much before he broke.
That’s the way I was feeling now two days after being forced to take Zorro back to the breeder. In truth, and something I wouldn’t share with Violet, I hadn’t been particularly nice to the woman.
Zorro had been way too skinny for a pup at six weeks old. That meant he hadn’t been given adequate care. While uncharacteristic of me, I’d raised my voice, not paying any attention to the fact I had an audience.
The couple coming to adopt Zorro had arrived early and had managed to hear the entire tirade. Or as most would call it, my childish tantrum. You bet I was frustrated with hearing about Kenneth calling her as well as being forced to give back the dog that Damon adored so much.
My berating had taken on a life of its own and I was a little surprised the breeder hadn’t contacted the police.
I’d even been devious, contacting Grace and asking for her veterinary expertise in if Zorro was malnourished.
I’d also encouraged her to look into the organization and see if there were any red flags.
I’d yet to hear back from her, but that hadn’t meant I hadn’t been loaded for bear the moment I’d stepped from the truck with Zorro in my arms.
And the couple coming all the way from Colorado had heard everything. Violet had done such a good job of allowing Damon to feel like a hero to a little pup. The icing on the cake had been finding out the couple was retired and had no children or grandchildren. So much for that.
The beautiful woman with a heart of gold had moped around for two days. She’d been completely perfunctory, going about daily tasks with work, saying almost nothing.
From what I’d been able to tell, she hadn’t eaten a damn thing. She’d kept Damon close, which I understood and the two of them were like zombies.
This man had experienced enough. So I called Josie and asked for a huge favor. She’d arrived at the rental cabin with two flavors of ice cream, brownies, popcorn, Doritos, and two types of soft drinks. Along with a selection of movies that any kid should like.
Even one who’d had his heart broken.
I was whisking Violet away for a couple of hours so I could have a talk with her.
I’d thought a lot about how I felt about Violet over the last few days, maybe more than I should have. But with nothing but a few pictures being taken for the calendar and training exercises with the team, I’d had a lot of time on my hands.
Too much so.
The two of us needed to have a conversation. I was worried about what Kenneth had on his mind, even asking a buddy of mine who was an attorney to see if he could find out if Kenneth had filed any custody papers. That way we could get a heads up as to what was coming.
Unfortunately, my buddy had mentioned that might take a little time.
I needed to confess how far I’d taken my research to her as well.
“I don’t think I should leave him.” Violet spun around, heading for the front door.
Without second guessing myself, I swept her off her feet and into my arms, carrying her to the truck. “Nope. We are going out. Just for a couple hours.”
“What if Damon needs me?”
“He’s in good hands with Josie. You can trust her.” I struggled but managed to open the truck door, easing her onto the seat. Where she promptly tried to climb out as expected. “Oh, no, you don’t. Are you trying to say you don’t trust my sister?”
Violet recoiled. “It’s not that. I just…”
“You just what?” I snapped the seatbelt into place, planting my hand on the other side of her and leaning over. Her scent was delicious tonight, lightly floral with jasmine and a hint of vanilla. Wearing black jeans and a way too tight red tee shirt, the woman was completely edible.
Her lower lip quivered. “I failed him.”
With my head tilted, I gave her the full lifted eyebrow effect. “You didn’t fail him. You gave him life and more love than I’ve seen anyone give someone else. Stop beating yourself up.”
“I don’t know if I can.”
“You can and you will. Now, we are going out. A couple hours of adult time. Don’t you dare try and get out of this truck or so help me God.” As I placed the rough pad of my index finger against the tip of her nose, for the first time since Zorro was ripped away from his home, her eyes sparkled.
“Why, yes, sir.”
“Uh-huh.” Closing the door, I kept my finger pointed toward her as I walked around the front of the truck to the driver’s side.
The moment I jumped in, the silly woman pretended she was going to try to jump out.
At least when I yanked her arm, she was able to laugh.
“Don’t you dare. I will pull you over my knees. ”
“I’d like to see you try.”
With her laughter, I was able to take a deep breath while starting the engine.
“Where are we going anyway?” she asked after I’d made it out of the driveway.
“There’s a neat Italian restaurant in town if that’s alright with you.”
She fidgeted in her seat, tugging on the seatbelt. “If you don’t mind, can we go to Ziggy’s instead?”
“There are other places in town, you know.”
“I know,” she said, shrugging. “It’s just the people are so nice there. I feel like I’ve known some of them all my life. Plus, I need to thank them again. Do you know how much money they gave me?”
“It’s none of my business.”
She laughed. “It would seem you’re part of my life while in Missoula.
Almost four thousand dollars. Since the Jeep was so old, the payout isn’t very much.
With that money, I’ll be able to purchase a decent vehicle before I leave to head back to LA.
I need to thank them for their generosity.
I’ve never had strangers be so nice to me. ”
The instant feeling of angst riding in my gut was worse than before. “I told you that Missoula is a good place to raise a family. They care about people.”
“So do you.”
I tipped my head, offering a single look. Which created another need to touch her. To be with her.
To ask her to stay. Damn it. That’s exactly what I wanted. I had no clue where this was going, but I also didn’t want what we shared to end. Not when I was finally enjoying my life again.
“You don’t have friends back home?” I asked. Or maybe I was trying to push her into making a decision she wasn’t ready for.
“Home.”
The sound of her voice as she repeated the term was hollow, her stare out the windshield unnerving.
“Yes, I have some friends. Mostly the people I work with. I work so many long hours that I rarely have time for myself.”
“Maybe you need to think about getting another job.” At least this was leading into the conversation I wanted to have with her.
“It’s funny you should say that. I’ve been thinking a lot about what I’ve always wanted to do.”
“Which is?”
“Don’t laugh. Write a book.”
“Why would I laugh? That’s fantastic. And I think you should. You’d make an amazing author.”
She turned her head and even in the fading light, I could tell she was scrutinizing me. “Most people would think that’s not a logical career.”
“Logical? I rush into fires for a living.”
While I laughed, her shrug was noncommittal. So was her heavy sigh as she stared out the passenger window. “You save lives.”
“In a way you saved mine.”
“How so? By not killing you with a log?”
Spitting out the breath of air I’d taken, I threw her a soulful look. The one she was giving me was more intense. “Well, there is that, but I’m talking about because of what you reminded me of.”
“Which was?”
My turn to shrug.
“Oh, no, you don’t. You’ve seen me at my lowest so spill it. Or else.”
“Oh, yeah?”
“Oh. Yes.”
Our perfected banter would always bring a smile to my face. “You reminded me that there was more to life than fighting fires or locking myself away in a room with nothing but a boxing bag.”
“Which I could use right about now.”
“You’re always welcome in my house.” And I meant that. “Always.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
There was a heaviness about our conversation that didn’t need words and had little to do with either losing Zorro or even how Kenneth had rattled her.
There were words that needed to be said, but a lack of understanding about what doing so would mean.
Yet opening one’s soul completely to one another was difficult, more so than most people could understand.
“Good. You should. I always want you to feel like Missoula is home.” There. I’d said what had been continually on my mind. At least partially admitting the way I felt about her.
As I continued the drive, the silence between us was as unnerving as the tension.
Perhaps more so because before Zorro had been returned, we’d started talking about anything and everything.
The subject hadn’t mattered. Although I realized that almost everything I’d learned about her had been superficial.
Not that discovering her favorite color and preferred toppings on pizza weren’t important, but I knew very little about her family. Or her hopes and dreams. Like longing to become an author. If only I was so talented.
“I think we should go back. Damon has said very little. He started holding everything inside about two years ago. That’s when the behavioral issues started.
And he’s so smart. He’s skipped a couple grades and his teachers think he could skip two more.
I just don’t think he’s ready for high school. Not now.”
“Wow. I had no idea.”
She nodded. “A brilliant kid with few outlets for his rage. According to his psychologist. Now, the puppy. I have a terrible feeling Damon’s spirit will be crushed.”
“Look. You need to take care of you so we’re not turning around, but Ziggy’s it is. We’ll only stay for a couple hours.” I pulled up to a light, hoping that my compromise would be enough.
“Maybe.”
“No maybes,” I teased, struggling to find the right way of bringing her out of such despair. “My truck. My rules.”
This time, she did nothing more than turn her head toward me.
Was there actual venom in her eyes as I’d experienced before? Wait. Hold on.
“Your rules,” she repeated.