Chapter 30
Steel
“You need to stop moping, dude.”
“Do you really need to accost me in the shower?” I glared at Axe while yanking on my shirt.
“You’re not in the shower. You’re getting dressed.”
“What’s the difference?” I shoved the material into my jeans and snatched my keys and wallet.
He slammed my locker for me. “If I need to explain that to you then you’re a lost cause.”
“Yeah, so what? It just doesn’t matter. Does it?”
“What matters is you picking up the phone and calling Violet.”
“She doesn’t want to talk to me.”
“Bullshit,” Axe tossed out.
With a hard glare as I was so prone to giving, I shook my head. “She didn’t stay.”
“I’ve noticed. She had a job to get back to. From what I can tell, you’re not giving her a reason to come back.”
“Just leave it.”
“You’re miserable. It’s been three weeks since she left.”
“Yeah, I know. Three weeks and I’ve heard shit.”
I headed around him and into the main room, heading straight for the door. The last thing I wanted to do was to talk to anyone. When I felt my brother’s presence behind me, I bristled. “I said, leave the topic alone.”
“You guys are good together. Great in fact.”
“Stupid calendar. I wish she’d never come to town. Ridiculous idea.”
He grabbed my arm, pulling me to a stop. “Oh, for God’s sake. You enjoyed the work. Don’t lie to me. We both did. Including that picture taken of both of us. We looked pretty cool. You have to admit.”
When I didn’t say a word, he ribbed me with his elbow. “Yeah, it was alright. Why did she leave? I thought we had something. You know. As usual, I’m wrong.”
“You did have something amazing. You still do, so stop feeling sorry for yourself. She doesn’t live on Mars. If you’d just call her, you never know how much good that might do.”
“We were just a thing while she was here. Well, that thing was just her having something to do with her down time.”
“You are a pain in the ass. I agree with everyone else. She was very picky about what the captain wrote regarding the team. She called him four times to make sure she captured the essence.”
“She called him four times?”
“Yeah,” he snapped. “And you didn’t know.”
“Nope. She sure didn’t call me.”
“Because you treated her like shit for needing to head back. She cares about us and you.”
“Hey, Beckett boys,” Captain Daughtry barked from his office. “Come here for a second.”
Axe lifted his eyebrows. I trailed behind him as we walked into his office.
The captain was grinning. When we came in, he lifted his head. “Well, I gotta admit. I was skeptical so I can say I’m pleasantly surprised.”
As soon as I realized what he was looking at, I cringed. The calendar.
“A complimentary copy. I thought you guys might like to take the first peek since you’re both featured prominently.” He continued to hold it. “Violet did a really good thing in honoring your brother.”
“What?” Axe asked first.
“What are you talking about?” I followed.
He smiled as he handed off the calendar. “She asked that I keep the little special project a secret. Take a look.”
My hand was shaking as I took the calendar from his hand, flipping pages until I found what he was talking about. There was a picture I had forgotten of Will with his ‘Violet,’ standing with his shirt off and the usual shit-eating grin on his face.
“Shit. That’s… amazing,” Axe muttered. “Where did she get that?”
“I had it in a collection of photos. Unsure of the photographer,” the captain admitted. “I think she wrote a nice piece about the three of you and the entire team. I’m proud of you boys. Very proud. A real shame she’s no longer around.”
“Yeah,” Axe commented. “A real shame.”
I’d had enough. I just couldn’t take it any longer. So I walked out.
I should have known my know-it-all brother wouldn’t allow me to drive away without stopping me.
“What is really going on with you? That tribute to Will is amazing. Do you still think she doesn’t care? Is that what your reaction is all about? Or is there more to your sullen behavior.”
He would certainly recognize sullen behavior.
My brother wasn’t going to allow me to leave without talking to him. So I leaned over the back of the truck, peering toward the mountains. “That’s not the reason I reacted that way to seeing Will’s picture.”
“Then what is?”
This was even harder than I’d originally thought it would be. “Because I’m the one to blame for Will’s death. All this time you’ve been holding onto guilt and I haven’t been honest with you.”
“Maybe you should explain why.”
I barely gave him a quick glance. “I wasn’t sick that day of Will’s death.
I was hungover, but I wasn’t sick. I allowed my feelings for Tanya to interfere with everything in my life, including doing my job and protecting the team and my family.
I don’t know why I couldn’t tell you before.
You were suffering and I was just… insensitive and angry.
And bitter. I’ve been so bitter. I’m sorry, Axe.
I never wanted to hurt you or allow you to take the blame when the fault is squarely on my shoulders. ”
Axe was like me in that he could easily become emotional one minute and detached from reality the next.
This time, he was quiet, staring at the same mountains. “When I met Kenzie, you could call me a mess. I was just as angry, so much so I used to break things, punch walls. I honestly didn’t give a shit about anything or anyone. But do you know what she helped me realize?”
“What was that?”
“That all the guilt in the world wasn’t going to bring Will back. I knew you weren’t sick that day, but you needed to find a way to heal. We all knew how much you were suffering, but by that point, it was about letting you go through the hatred and rage your way. Remember when Viper came on?”
At least I could still laugh. “Yeah, you hated him. You thought he was taking Will’s job.”
“Yep, and I acted out because I was still incapable of letting go. That took a few more months, but you were there to remind me that I wasn’t to blame.
Neither were you. No one is to blame for what happened unless you want to yell at Mother Nature.
Will would be honored to be a part of the calendar.
And that woman you adore knew how much your relationship with Will meant to you.
To me. To the team.” He turned to face me.
“Don’t do this, Steel. You’re my brother and I care about you, but damn it, you’re a pain in the ass. ”
I shifted so I could look him in the eye. “So are you.”
“But I wouldn’t want another brother. Well…”
We both could laugh, maybe finally letting off some steam.
“Thank you for telling me but let it go. Now, I’m going to give you the same advice Kenzie offered me. Go live. For two weeks you were the brother I remembered. Now, you’re not. That should tell you something.”
“What should that tell me?”
He tapped the bed of the truck and backed away. “That you need to take a couple days off and head to LA. I heard it’s not bad this time of year. Then bring her back. Bring your family back home.”
As he yanked out his sunglasses, sliding them on, his shit-eating grin was huge.
I thought about what he was saying. Maybe he was right. The moment I climbed into the truck and after starting the engine, I decided not to waste any additional time and called the captain’s phone number instead of heading back inside.
Why?
Because for once, although I wouldn’t dare admit that to anyone, my brother was right. I planned on heading out tonight.
Fifteen minutes later, I pulled down the road leading to my house.
I was feeling good with my decision. Maybe I’d surprise her. Maybe I’d just show up on her doorstep. Maybe I’d finally secure the same happiness that Axe had found. I was rolling with the windows down and radio up, ready to fly by the rental house, which stood empty.
Then a flash thankfully caught my attention and I slammed on the brakes. “What the fuck?” Not again.
This time instead of seeing Jasper’s truck in the driveway, I noticed something much larger. Leaning forward, I was uncertain what I’d seen flying by the front of my Dodge. But what I did see was a U-Haul attached to a trailer hitch on a Jeep. A bright… red… Jeep.
Woof. Woof. Woof.
Unsettled, I threw the gear into park and climbed out, my palms instantly sweating. I could see a tail wagging from far enough away I wasn’t able to make out the breed of dog.
Until I whistled. The dog turned, his ears perking up and he rushed toward me, his entire body shaking with happiness.
“Zorro. Oh, my God. Zorro.” He jumped on my legs, every bit of his backside wiggling.
“Steel. We’re back. Do you see? We’re back and guess what?” Damon was standing in the front yard with a huge smile on his face.
“What?” I croaked.
“We’re staying. Mom says forever! Yay!” He ran toward me and at the same time, the front door opened and the most beautiful vision walked out, coming down the stairs cautiously.
As she walked closer, I was in a complete vacuum even though I knew the cutest boy in the world was jabbering on about something. And I would listen. And I would love hearing every story.
Just not quite yet. Not until I’d welcomed my new neighbor.
As soon as I leaned over, he threw his arms around me. “I’m glad to be back,” he said.
“You have no idea how glad I am you returned, little man. So glad.”
Finally, Damon backed away, still smiling as if now being eight years old he understood what was happening. I walked toward her, meeting her halfway.
“So, you’re my new neighbor,” I told her.
“Looks like it.” She took a step closer.
“Well, in case the landlord didn’t tell you, there are rules around these parts.”
Violet lifted her eyebrows. “Oh, yeah?”
“Oh, yeah.”
“What if I don’t like following any rules?”
“Well, then you’ll need to face the consequences and they’re pretty harsh.”
She looked away briefly while shaking her head. “I’m a tough girl.”
“And I’m a tough guy.” I closed the distance until I was able to gather a whiff of her incredible perfume.
“Then I guess we’ll get along.” She placed her hand on my chest.
“You’re back.”
“I am. Do you mind?”
Shrugging, as she gripped my shirt, my cock pressed against my jeans. “Nah. I think I’ll like having you around. What about your job?”
“I quit. I was offered a half million as vice president. But I thought, not enough.”
“Interesting. Why didn’t you take it?”
“Cause there’s this guy here in town I think I’m falling in love with.”
“Is that so?” I placed my hand on her arm, shuddering as soon as I did.
“Absolutely.” Her voice was little more than a whisper.
“What are you going to do for a job?”
“Well, that same guy suggested I take money from my ex. Now, the way I figured it, if the asshole signed away his parental rights in exchange, I’d never need to worry about him again and some of the money could be used to pay a few bills until I made millions.
The rest will be used for Damon and his future. ”
“Sounds like a plan. What are you doing? How are you going to make those millions?”
“By writing books. Lots of hot romance books. I have a lot of material given some pretty sexy smokejumpers in town.”
“Is that the only reason?”
She leaned into me, her features softening as the teasing slipped away. “Not even close. I couldn’t stay away. You taught me how to enjoy life again. I couldn’t stop thinking about how happy I was when I was here.”
“Ah, Violet. I missed you.”
“I’m glad to hear it because I don’t want to move again.”
“Unless you move in with me.”
“Mom. Steel. Why don’t you kiss? It’s about time.” Damon’s voice was so serious that we both fought to keep from laughing.
“You know,” I told her. “He’s right. I think we should kiss.” I slipped my arm around her waist.
“You do?”
Jerking her against me, I lowered my head. “Hell, yeah. All. Night. Long.” As I captured her mouth, Will’s face popped into my mind. Why? Because of the picture in the calendar of him standing in front of his Violet.
Because I’d been the one to take the photograph.
And somehow, I had a feeling my brother was looking down from heaven and smiling.
The End