12. Sabine
Chapter 12
Sabine
“ T hat gods-damned bastard! ”
I storm out of Drahallen Hall with all the force of a hurricane, angry tears leaking out of the corner of my eyes, the world spinning in a dizzying blur that keeps me from knowing up from down.
Overhead, the stars are pinpricks against the night sky, glittering like the jewels that drip from every surface of Rian Valvere’s home. Long grass tangles around my shoes, streaking them with gossamer-silk spiderwebs and midnight dew. The air holds a smoky, herbal scent. I catch myself on the back of a wrought-iron garden bench, doubling over to try to fill my screaming lungs with air.
The man who sold you out was Rian Valvere.
My corset pinches my lungs to the point where I can’t breathe. Its obsidian jewels may be beautiful, but they’re beyond restrictive. I tug at the crimson ribbons holding the corseted top together until they finally loosen.
The tops of my breasts spring free. Clinging to the bench for support, I pull in breath after shaky breath .
“Highness? Are you all right?”
I toss my head up, all too aware of my mussed hair and tear-streaked face, to find Captain Tatarin exiting a gate, concern written in her dark brown eyes. She reaches a steadying hand toward me, but I straighten quickly, tugging my dress to smooth out the wrinkles.
“Oh. Tati. It’s you.”
Her eyes go wide. “Highness, you’re crying! What happened? Shall I call for the healer?”
“No!” I press a hand against the loosened corset. “Please, don’t. I only need... I only need… Oh, damn it all! I need a noose around Rian Valvere’s throat! ”
Tati hesitates, glancing back toward the castle. But instead of calling for the guards, she unwinds the maroon scarf around her neck and presses it into my hands.
I nod a shaky thanks as I use the scarf to dry my eyes.
Tati tuts in sympathy. “Rian Valvere, eh? I…think I can guess why you want to throttle that particular man.”
I nearly drop her scarf in surprise. “You do?”
She clears her throat. “I hope you do not hold this against me, Highness, but I was the one who met with Rian Valvere at the border several weeks ago to make the deal.”
Under normal circumstances, such information would have me bolting upright and demanding answers. But with my heart already contorted in knots, I only narrow my eyes.
“Tell me everything.”
Tati keeps her voice low. “We had positioned Grand Cleric Beneveto to take over after King Joruun’s passing so that we would have an ally on Astagnon’s throne. Beneveto had been working with us for well over a year as a clandestine agent. Whatever your father asked of him, he would have his Red Priests and Red Sisters do. But then, Rian Valvere sent a messenger crow with a compelling offer. If King Rachillon would help put him on the throne instead of Beneveto, he would give up your location. Your father ordered Beneveto to rescind his claim.”
My fingers curl hard around the garden bench. “I thought—I thought that in his own way, Rian loved me.” I gaze up at the soft, twinkling lights in Drahallen Hall’s windows. “I think, maybe, I’ve been wrong this entire time about who my enemy is.”
Tati rests a soft hand on my shoulder.
I close my eyes. “Now it makes sense why Rian gave me up to Basten with so little objection. He had already traded me for the throne once. It meant nothing to him to do it again. He’s the Lord of Liars. I—I should have known better.”
I pinch my nose to keep the tears at bay. Still, a tear rolls down my cheek and splashes onto the top of my chest. I wipe it away, realizing my breasts are practically spilling out. “Gods. My dress. I look like a mess, don’t I?”
“It is no great concern, Highness. Here in Volkany, we don’t care about formalities. See?”
She motions to her own loose-fitting men’s trousers and oversized shirt. It’s the first time I’ve seen her out of her armor.
I sniffle. “Female soldiers are allowed to wear men’s clothing?”
“When we are off duty, we may wear what we like. As well as drink and curse and smoke Wicked Weed.”
“Wicked Weed?” My ears perk up. I’ve only ever heard the elicit substance whispered about in the Sin Streets of Astagnon.
“Haven’t you tried it, Highness? ”
I chuckle darkly. “No, I grew up in a convent.”
Tati’s eyes light up mischievously as she grabs the end of her scarf, using it as a lead to tug me toward a walled garden. “We have a saying here: ‘Inhale the weed, exhale your troubles.’ Come—try a toke. It will help you forget all about Rian Valvere.”
I hesitate.
Exhale my troubles? Yes, please .
The herbal, smoky scent lacing the air grows stronger as I follow her into the walled garden. The rise and fall of soft voices catches my ear, broken with peals of laughter. A greenish haze of smoke hangs around an enormous hemlock tree whose branches sweep the ground. A cozy, intimate glow of lanterns comes from within the hemlock boughs.
She sweeps aside a low branch like a tent curtain. The way the branches hang low forms a natural canopy, screening the smokers inside, forming a private space.
Curious, I crane my neck, trying to glimpse between the pin-like needles—only to make out someone with fire-red hair combed back from pointed ears.
“ Iyre ? No. No way. I’m not sharing a pipe with a fae.”
I quickly ball up Tati’s scarf and shove it at her as I turn back toward the castle, ready to spend the night chatting with my mouse—but Tati grabs my arm.
She says with big eyes, “The fae are awakening, Highness. There’s no going back to life as it was before. There’s only moving forward in the new world they are about to create—and if you want to thrive in that world, you must know their ways. Good and bad. Starting with Iyre.”
I’m about to tell her she can go cozy up with that fae bitch, but then pause.
If Iyre is here…then she isn’t in her tower room .
I tilt my chin upward, where the Aurora Tower’s peak is visible over the rest of Drahallen Hall’s rooftops. The lanterns are off in the highest room. From the corner of my eye, I scan the dark, walled garden, looking for a flicker of silver-blue.
Cloudfox , I ask in my head. Are you here?
For a few moments, there’s no answer. The mouse told me that she was at my window earlier, but she might have left. Returned to the forest. But then, the bushes rustle, and a voice chirps:
Here, girlie! Her small silver face peeks out of the leaves.
A thrill rises in my chest as I tell Tati, “ One toke.”
She grins.
As I duck into the tree’s tent-like canopy, I whisper to the cloudfox, Go to the Aurora Tower. The highest room. Search inside for a small, round, yellow bottle. I’ll keep an eye on Iyre.
The cloudfox nods enthusiastically.
The space beneath the hemlock boughs is surprisingly large, easily accommodating the dozen or so humans lounging within, all holding court around Iyre. They drape themselves over wooden furniture or recline on quilts. Overflowing fruit trays rest on low tables, along with ample bottles of wine. Round glass orbs filled with candles hang from the highest interior branches like miniature moons.
All conversation stops at my entry. Faces turn my way. I recognize Paz, but most of the others are strangers.
The Blades are here, too—Ghost, Whisper, and Night—accompanied by Night’s hound at his side. It’s strange. I didn’t notice before, but I can’t seem to hear the hound’s voice in my head .
Hello, friend , I try, but the dog ignores me, keeping her chin on Night’s knee.
I feel the creeping feeling of being watched and find Iyre studying me from behind her long lashes, her glowing fey lines casting harsh shadows on her angular face. Slowly, she blows a perfect smoke ring into the air.
“Highness,” she says, flashing her pointed incisors. “Bold of you to join us.”
Chuckles ripple among the crowd.
Ghost stands up, preening as he combs his long, fair hair over one shoulder and offers me a dazzling smile. “Take my seat, Highness.”
He flexes his exposed biceps as he motions to the bench.
I feel suddenly locked to the edge of the gathering. Gods, is it a mistake to be here? What if the cloudfox tricks me again? Am I a fool for trusting our fae bargain? My cheeks are still streaked with dried tears, and the last thing I want is to show them any weaknesses.
Oh, and my breasts are popping out of my loosened corset.
Great .
Warily, I sink into the seat Ghost offered, subtly trying to tighten the corset ribbons.
“That’s the spirit!” Tati laughs as she collapses onto one of the blankets. She takes the pipe from Iyre, draws in a toke through the foot-long stem, and then releases a puff of green smoke up toward the sky.
Sighing contentedly, she offers me the pipe.
All eyes watch me in unabashed interest as I take the pipe, holding it with as little skill as I would a blacksmith’s tongs .
“Like this,” a deep voice says. The raven-haired Night takes my wrist, trailing his other hand up my shoulder to find my chin, and then guides the pipe to my lips. With his cloudy eyes pinned somewhere in the distance, he murmurs in my ear, “Breathe in through your lungs, not your mouth. Here.”
His hand slides down my side to rest above my ribcage, over the slackened corset ribbons, his rough thumb grazing the top of my breasts. My heartbeat picks up. I shift on the bench, uneasy. There’s nothing overtly seductive about his touch. Still, I’m not used to strange men touching me.
“Thanks,” I croak.
On the count of three, I suck through the pipe. A spark shoots down my throat, and I double over, coughing out clouds of green smoke.
“That—that burns!”
Iyre cackles as she reaches over to take the pipe and then draws a long, practiced toke. “You’ll learn, little human.”
My lungs feel like they’re on fire, but after a few minutes of throat-clearing, I’m able to finally breathe steadily.
The Wicked Weed shoots straight to my head. Soon, my muscles soften like warmed honey, my worries falling away. I drape myself against the bench between Ghost and Night, staring up at the orb-shaped lanterns.
Tati nudges my foot with hers and passes me a slice of beautyberry cake. My stomach growls to alert me that I’m ravenous. I pounce on the cake, devouring it in two bites and then moaning as I lick my fingers.
“Easy, Highness,” Ghost teases in my ear as he stretches his muscular arm on the bench’s back behind me. “Save some of that appetite, and I’ll give you something better to lick off your lips later. One night—that’s all I need. One night, and you’ll never look at another man again.”
Grimacing, I shove away his arm. “I’ve had better offers—from men who don’t trip over their own egos.”
He wiggles his eyebrows. “Doesn’t seem to bother half the women in Norhelm.”
I can’t do much other than stare at this pretty, pompous buffoon. With his theatrically bulging muscles and perfectly coiffed hair, he’s the definition of a foppish dolt. Harmless? Absolutely not—he must be one of my father’s top bodyguards for a reason. And yet he might be the most unserious man I’ve ever met—and I was engaged to Rian Valvere .
“If that is true,” I counter as I scoot away from his knee, “Then you’ll have no trouble finding company tonight other than me. Or better yet, leave the poor ladies alone and pleasure yourself.”
He tips his head back for a deeply amused laugh.
I suddenly feel too warm, crammed on the narrow bench between Ghost and Night—two men whose beauty would rival Basten’s if it wasn’t so skin-deep—and move to Tati’s quilt.
With a soft smile, she passes me the pipe again.
This toke, I only cough a little.
By the time I’ve passed the pipe on to the next person, I can barely remember why I was angry. My head swims. My muscles turn to jelly. I try to peer through the branches toward the Aurora Tower, but the night is too dark. I lose my balance, falling to my back on the quilt to gaze up at the hemlock.
“We’ve lost her,” I hear Ghost tease Tati. “Wherever our little princess is going tonight, it will be quite a journey. ”
As the herb fades me in and out of reality, time begins to move in strange ways?—
—Suddenly, I’m on all fours on the quilt, with Night’s dog’s breath in my face as the hound licks my ear, and I’m laughing and scratching the dog’s chin ? —
—Whisper and a pretty-as-a-peach girl are dancing beneath the orb lanterns hanging from branches. Another woman joins them, who looks uncannily like the first. Twins? The trio’s steps are careless, their pupils blown from Wicked Weed ? —
—The twins are now seated in Whisper’s lap, their bodices shoved down around their waists to expose heavy breasts as Whisper sticks his tongue down the closest one’s throat ? —
—Tati, giggling, uses her godkiss to pause the other dancing couples in time as she counts down from ten on her fingers, and then their swaying movements restart ? —
—Not to be outdone, I jump to my feet and lift my hands to the hemlock boughs, calling to the night owls. Come, friends! I command in my head ? —
—The branches quake, and dozens of owls swoop through to peck at our leftover grapes and slices of cake, as the revelers gasp and clap ? —
—“She likes you,” Night whispers in my ear. Somehow, I’m seated in his lap on the bench, with one of his powerful hands circling my waist from behind to keep me from drunkenly tumbling to the grass. His dog rests her head on his opposite knee, gazing up at me with her big, black eyes.
“Her name is Hawk,” Night whispers.
“I can’t speak to her,” I say, hiccupping. “For some reason, she doesn’t have a voice.”
—“No, no, no, little princess. Get your own.” Whisper is holding back his wine goblet, wagging a scolding finger at me for trying to steal it from him ? —
—I’m dancing with Ghost now as he expertly guides me beneath the boughs, maneuvering our way between the roosting owls. His voice is breathy in my ear. “We’ve been waiting for you. Now that you’re here, everything can begin”—
—I’m standing with my arms around the hemlock trunk. I could swear that I can feel the tree breathing in and out, in and out, the bark expanding beneath my embrace. Go , the tree tells me, which makes me giggle because plants can’t speak. This place is not for you .
My senses snap back into place as I crash out of my Wicked Weed haze into the here and now.
Barefoot.
Wasted.
In a grass-stained dress as dawn rises on the horizon.
I look around. I’m not the only one hit hard by the Wicked Weed. The twins are trying to climb the tree. Iyre and Paz are half-naked on one of the quilts, splayed out as she kisses his neck. Two of the Blades are arm wrestling.
Oh—the cloudfox!
My legs are unsteady. I finally stagger to my feet, and once I’m outside of the hemlock tree, fresh dawn air douses me like a bucket of water.
I pause, blinking up at Aurora Tower.
“Highness, wait.” Tati is breathing hard, her braid falling loose as she runs to catch up with me. Her throat bobs in a swallow as her fingertips dig into my upper arm.
“I need to—to get to my room.” To check on the cloudfox.
She presses on, regardless. “I didn’t tell you something about my meeting with Rian Valvere.” She pauses, brow wrinkling. “He was distracted. Deeply bothered. When I asked why, he said that a man who was like a brother to him had betrayed him.”
The haze around my mind disappears, and I snap my attention to her. “What?”
“I mention this to show you what kind of man is about to sit on Astagnon’s throne. Why your father is so adamant about replacing him with someone loyal to us. I’ll never forget what Rian said or the ice in his eyes. ‘ I considered him a brother. Now, I won’t stop until he’s muzzled. Chained. Broken as a hunting dog that bit its master and will never see sunlight again .’ If he said that about someone so close to him, what would he do to common folk he owes nothing to?”
I grab onto the back of a bench, shaken. I don’t need Tati’s examples of Rian’s wickedness. I know Rian’s crimes frontward and backward.
I have to warn Basten—before it’s too late.