Chapter 11 Distance #2
Without saying a word, she crossed the room and wrapped her arms around him as carefully as his injuries allowed.
"Oh, thank God."
"I'm alright."
"You scared us."
"I'm sorry."
She pulled back just enough to study his face.
"Don't ever apologize for surviving."
He managed a small smile.
"I'll remember that."
Sam followed her into the room.
"You certainly know how to make a cattle delivery memorable."
Jax laughed softly before immediately regretting it as pain spread through his ribs.
"Don't make me laugh."
"I'll try."
Sam's expression soon grew more serious.
"You'll be out of work for a while."
"The ranch..."
"...will still be there."
His mother answered firmly.
"For once, someone else can carry the responsibility."
Jax looked toward the doorway again.
Neither Sam nor his mother missed the movement.
"You're looking for someone."
His mother spoke gently.
He didn't deny it.
Sam smiled knowingly.
"I'll check the waiting room."
The older man quietly stepped outside.
Several minutes passed.
Long enough for doubt to return.
Perhaps Eli had already gone home.
Perhaps he had decided the distance between them was finally too great to cross.
Then another soft knock sounded.
Eli stood hesitantly in the doorway.
His clothes were still dusty from the previous night's emergency call, and dark circles beneath his eyes suggested he hadn't slept.
For a moment, neither man spoke.
Jax's mother quietly squeezed his hand before leading Sam out into the hallway.
The door closed behind them.
Silence settled over the room.
Eli took a cautious step inside.
"You look terrible."
Jax smiled weakly.
"I was hoping for a more flattering review."
"I considered lying."
"I'm glad you didn't."
Another silence followed.
Not awkward.
Simply filled with everything they hadn't said.
Finally Eli walked to the bedside.
"I heard about the accident over the emergency radio."
"I figured."
"I thought..."
His voice faltered.
"...I thought I might be too late."
Jax remembered feeling exactly the same way during the wildfire.
"I know that feeling."
Eli nodded.
"I know you do."
Their eyes met.
Neither looked away.
"I asked for you."
Jax spoke quietly.
"The doctor told me."
"You were the first person."
A faint smile touched Eli's face before disappearing again.
"You shouldn't have."
"Why?"
"Because it would've made things harder."
"For who?"
"For you."
Jax slowly shook his head.
"No."
"It already has."
He looked down at the blanket covering his legs.
"I'm sorry."
Eli remained silent.
"I've been saying that a lot lately."
"You have."
"I meant every word."
"I know."
"I never wanted to hurt you."
"I know that too."
Jax swallowed carefully.
"I just..."
He searched for words that always seemed to disappear when they mattered most.
"...I was afraid."
"Of the gossip?"
"Of failing everyone."
"The ranch."
"My family."
"The people depending on me."
Eli listened without interrupting.
"I convinced myself I could keep everyone happy."
"And?"
"I couldn't."
"No."
"You couldn't."
Jax looked directly at him.
"The only person I ended up hurting was you."
Eli's eyes softened.
"And yourself."
Neither denied it.
The truth had become too obvious.
"I missed you."
The confession escaped before Jax could second-guess it.
"I missed talking to you."
"I missed laughing with you."
"I missed..."
His voice grew quieter.
"...everything."
Eli looked away for a moment before answering.
"I missed you too."
The words brought an unexpected sense of relief.
Not because they solved anything.
Because they were honest.
For several minutes they simply talked.
About the accident.
About the garage.
About Bella, who apparently refused to let anyone except Sam feed her since the wildfire.
The conversation felt strangely familiar, almost like the evenings they had spent in the garage before everything became complicated.
Eventually the room fell quiet again.
Eli stood.
"I should let you rest."
"I don't want you to go."
"I know."
He slipped his hands into the pockets of his jacket.
"But I need to say something."
Jax immediately recognized the seriousness in his voice.
"I'm listening."
Eli took a slow breath.
"I care about you."
The simple words carried more weight than any declaration could have.
"I think you know that."
"I do."
"And I believe you care about me."
"I do."
"More than friendship."
Jax didn't hesitate.
"Yes."
The answer hung between them.
Clear.
Certain.
Finally spoken aloud.
Eli closed his eyes briefly before continuing.
"But I can't keep living like this."
Jax's chest tightened.
"I won't hide every time someone looks our way."
"I won't pretend our conversations don't matter."
"And I won't spend my life waiting outside while everyone else decides who you're allowed to care about."
Every sentence landed with painful honesty.
"I won't be someone's secret."
The room became impossibly quiet.
Jax wanted to answer immediately.
To promise something.
To erase every hurt he'd caused.
Instead, he remained silent because, for the first time, he understood that promises meant nothing unless he was willing to live them.
Eli gave him one last, gentle look.
"I'm not asking you to choose today."
"But eventually..."
He opened the door.
"...you're going to have to decide whether you're living your own life or everyone else's."
The door closed softly behind him.
Jax remained alone in the quiet hospital room.
The steady beeping of the heart monitor suddenly seemed much louder than before.
For weeks he had convinced himself that fear protected the people he loved.
Now he finally understood the truth.
Fear wasn't protecting anything.
It was slowly costing him everything that mattered most.
· ? ·