CHAPTER SIXTEEN
SIENNA
I paced the length of the living room, my mind racing, unable to make sense of anything. Where the hell had he gone? I glanced at my phone again, like it would magically light up with his name if I stared at it long enough.
That was just wishful thinking on my part. I huffed out a breath and dragged a hand through my damp hair, my head still throbbing. I'd taken two pain pills an hour ago, hoping they'd at least dull the ache.
They hadn't done anything yet. Probably because I couldn't sit still long enough for them to work. Sighing, I stared at my phone again. I could call him. I mean, he was my man. I had the right to call him if I wanted to.
The thought lingered for a moment before I pushed it away. I wasn't about to do that. I wasn't about to be the one chasing him down after the way he'd acted. I wasn't about to be the one to fold first. Not this time.
I was always being the bigger person. This time, I wanted him to be the bigger person. But damn it... where was my Beast? I turned and resumed pacing, my thoughts racing. Had Enzo called him?
Was he out there handling something dangerous while I sat here doing nothing? Why couldn't he see that not fighting by his side bothered me? I'd tried living the soft girl era, knowing he didn't want me in danger.
But I thrived in danger. I was built for it. I could help him. Scrolling through my phone, I pulled up Eve's number, hitting call before I could stop myself. The phone rang once... twice... three times. No answer.
"Shit," I muttered, ending the call and tossing my phone onto the couch.
Was he just mad and out driving around, trying to clear his head? Or had he gone out looking for a fight with his mind all over the place? Because if it were the second one, that would put him in danger.
If anything happened to him, I would never forgive myself. My stomach dropped at the thought. I breathed in a shaky breath, my hands curling into fists at my sides. Please, God, don’t let anything happen to him.
"Stefano, where are you?" I whispered.
Why hadn't he woken me up? Why hadn't he said anything before he left? Even if we were arguing, even if he was pissed, he could've told me he was leaving. I stilled completely, my gaze dropping to the floor as a thought struck me.
Was this how he’d felt?
When the guards told him they'd lost me, did he feel this lost, this helpless? Had he been pacing like this, wondering if I was okay, wondering if something bad had happened to me? Had his chest ached like this?
Had he felt like he was on the verge of having a fear-induced heart attack? My heart was pounding harder, faster, while the air in the room suddenly felt too hot, too suffocating.
"Shit..." I breathed, pressing a hand to my chest as the panic started creeping in.
Tears blurred my vision. I blinked them back as everything hit me all at once. I wanted Stefano to talk to me, but I wasn't giving him the right environment to feel he could. I wanted him to come to me. I didn't want to be left alone.
Yet, I'd stormed off first, leaving him alone. I'd abandoned my beast and sent him fleeing his house. No. Our house. But I'd called it his. I'd called myself a guest. No matter how angry I got, I shouldn't have done that to him.
I was the one making things worse. Sure, Stefano was too damn protective. Sure, I felt like I was suffocating sometimes, like he was always watching, always hovering. But imagine how he felt. Especially today.
I was always doing something that made him worry about me. I'd brought more trouble into his life, ditched the people he sent to protect me, then got pissed at him for finding me and making sure I was okay.
Ugh. It was official.
I was Sienna Keys, the self-sabotaging queen.
My Beast was trying to protect me the only way he knew how. What I’d thought was nothing, just a quick kidnapping to get some intel, had probably made him feel like his world was ending.
There was no excuse for my actions. I'd been wrong. Reckless. Childish. Foolish, even. He’d had every right to be angry with me. I owed him an apology. A real one. Not one of those half-ass ones.
If I wanted this to work, I had to meet him halfway. I had to adhere to the promise and the compromises we made. I couldn't get mad at him for doing insane shit to keep me safe when I did insane shit that forced him to do insane shit.
It was a cycle of insanity, and I was the catalyst. I froze when my phone rang, my heart jumping into my throat. I turned toward the couch, hope surging within me. It had to be Stefano. I rushed over and grabbed my phone, not even checking the name before answering.
"Hello," I said quickly.
"Hey, beautiful," a woman cooed.
The hope dropped just as fast as it had come. I recognized her voice instantly. Cecca.
"Hey, Cecca," I said, forcing my voice to sound normal, like I wasn't on the verge of losing my damn mind.
"There's someone getting ready to enter the fight ring that you may be interested in," she told me.
My fingers tightened around the phone. So that's where he'd gone.
"And usually," she continued. "Once he's done fighting, he finds a partner and rents a room to fuck. I'm not saying he's planning to do that, but I thought you should know where he was. You know, us girls got to stick together."
"Thanks, Cecca," I said through clenched teeth.
"Are the two of you okay?" she asked.
I opened my mouth to answer, then closed it again. Were we? I had no idea. Instead of talking to me, instead of staying and dealing with what was wrong between us, he'd gone there. To that place.
The place he used to go to fight, fuck, and forget. Tears filled my eyes again, but I blinked them back, refusing to let them fall. Another woman had to call me to tell me where my man was. Hell no, I wasn’t about to cry over his ass.
"Don’t bother answering how the two of you are doing, love. It’s not my nosey ass business. Are you coming to get him?" Cecca asked. “If I need to drug his ass and knock him out to get him out of here for you, I will. Just say the word.”
I swallowed. I didn’t want her to drug him. But I did want to go there to get him. I wanted to walk in there, drag him out, force him to look at me, to talk to me, to fix this. But should I? Was it too late for us?
Had I pushed him that far? Had I pushed him back into that life? Had he gone there to forget me? Because if he had, if he had touched someone else, there would be no coming back from that.
I was not the forgiving type. I was the killing type. I'd end his ass for cheating and not shed one tear as I buried him on his own property. I closed my eyes for a second, forcing myself to calm down.
Maybe this was for the best. Maybe I needed to let him make his own choice. If he wanted to be there, if he wanted that life, I wouldn't stop him. I wouldn't beg him to come home to me.
I would let him remain right where his raggedy ass was. By morning, I'd know exactly where I stood with Stefano DeLuca. By morning, I'd know whether I was staying here or whether I'd be cutting his dick off and letting him bleed out in his own damn house before I walked away.
"Hey, babe," Cecca cooed. "Are you coming?"
I opened my eyes. “I'm not coming.”
"Hmmm..." Cecca hummed softly on the other end, like she found that interesting. "Alright, beautiful. Your choice."
I didn't respond. I just ended the call and stood there alone with my thoughts while my man was at the club with big booty bitches.
"Stefano DeLuca. Don't make me fuck you up."
Needing to do something to distract myself from my troubles, I headed to my office and sat down at my desk. I opened my laptop and typed in my code. A few keystrokes later, I was logged in to the darknet and reading some of my messages.
There was one from my friend, Natalie. I opened it, my eyes quickly scanning the coded message. Natalie was telling me to be careful. The Irish mafia may have found me. My blood ran cold.
I continued reading, decoding the message as I went. They'd raised my bounty. My eyes widened as I read the amount. The last time I'd checked, it was 500,000. Now it was one million. And they wanted me alive.
Damn. I was worth one million.
Shiiit, maybe I needed to capture myself. I continued reading. Natalie said the Irish Mafia was waiting to make their move, and she believed it was because they were afraid of getting on the DeLuca's radar. I guess I could thank Stefano for that.
Stefano.
I glanced at the time on the corner of my laptop. 12:03 AM. It was after midnight, and he still wasn’t home. He’d officially stayed out all night.
Come home, Stefano. I want to tell you about the new bounty. I want to plot with you.
Speaking of plotting, maybe the reason the Abelis were watching me was to make sure I was the one the Irish mafia was looking for. Maybe they were planning to capture me and turn me over to them to collect the bounty.
“Damn, Stefano,” I whispered, gaze drifting to my closed office door, wishing he were here.
“You’d had every right to be worried about me going out.
And, if Natalie was correct, the only thing keeping my enemy from descending on me was you and the DeLuca organization.
You were right. I was wrong. I guess I truly can't do this without you. But if you fuck up tonight, I'll have no choice but to handle this on my own. Please don’t fuck up tonight, Beast.”
I swallowed and exited out of the darknet, closing my laptop just as my phone dinged. Stefano! I checked it. It was Cecca. Again. She'd sent me a picture. I opened it, and my mouth dropped.
What the absolute fuck?
It was a pic of Stefano seated at the bar with his back to the camera. Some big-breasted blonde was standing next to him, her hand on his shoulder as she whispered something in his ear.
Was her boob touching him? I enlarged the pic. Yes. Yes, her boob was touching his arm. My blood boiled. Rage coursed through me, setting every inch of me, inside and out, on fire. I’d known it was too good to be true, this life with Stefano.