Chapter 17
“Didn’t sleep well?” I ask the sleepyhead flopping her way down the stairs. Her pajamas are cute plaid things, and I wonder just how many sets of pjs she owns. I have never seen her in the same set twice. I guess that’s the difference between men and women.
I have two pairs myself.
I sip my coffee and watch her plod toward me. Before she answers, I pass her a mug of her own. Stella looks into it, then looks up at me. “You’re a god.”
I laugh, “Wow, not the first words I expected out of you today.”
She drinks her coffee way too fast, so I pour her another. She dresses it herself this time. “I didn’t sleep at all last night.”
“After your athletic performance, I would have thought you’d sleep like the dead.”
“Did you?”
I nod. “Haven’t slept like that in ages.”
“Good,” she says before she smiles. Then the smile falls. “I’m sorry for the Hannigans, Jordan. I don’t think I said that last night.”
“I understand the sentiment, and I didn’t think you were being rude or anything. It’s not easy to know what to say at times like these. Especially with today being Christmas Eve Day.”
“Oh, hell. That means it’s grocery day and Alex day. I forgot all about that.” She pours a third cup, then tries to gather her hair into some sort of order. It doesn’t work at all.
I’m curious. “Why is today grocery day?”
“Mr. Bailey is closing up from Christmas through New Year’s Day. Didn’t you see the flyers?”
I shake my head. “The red things they were passing out?”
She nods.
“I just thought that was about him being closed on Christmas, and I had already assumed they would be, so I threw the flyers out. Guess I should read those things, huh?”
She laughs, then shrugs. “It does help to read the things people hand to you when you want to know what’s happening, but I’m one of those weirdos who likes knowing what’s happening around me.”
Can’t think of a better segue than that. “You sure you like to know what’s happening around you?”
“What do you mean?”
“Seems to me, you’d rather pretend you’re asleep.”
She freezes up. “Uh, what are you—"
I shake my head. Then, I step forward, hook my hand around the back of her neck, and kiss her.
“This is the strangest situation I have ever found myself in, Stella. It’s nothing like what I expected by coming to Floyd.
And yet, here I am. With you. And whatever you want to call our arrangement, dating, hooking up, whatever it is, I don’t care. I am in love with you.”
Her lips part, and there’s panic in those big blue eyes. “Jordan, um, I’m not in a position to be…with anyone like that. I wouldn’t even know how to begin to be. It’s not that I don’t—"
“Breathe,” I touch her cheek and she leans into it.
I can tell she’s not afraid of what I said, but she’s still panicking about it.
Her eyes are like saucers. Those eyes of hers always give her away.
“You don’t need to say it back. You don’t need to say anything at all.
That’s not why I’m telling you. I’m telling you, because I can’t not say it anymore. ”
“But I don’t…My whole world is insane, Jordan, and even if it wasn’t, I’ve never been in a situation where I’ve felt this close to someone before. Not ever. And I would be crushed if something happened to you. But saying that word…I’ve never said that word, and if I say it—"
I nod. “Your life is chaos, complete and utter chaos. I know. So, is it so bad that someone in the world loves you?”
Her lips curl upward into a crooked smile, and my heart leaps. She confesses, “I guess not.”
“Good.” I give her a peck, then pour myself the last cup. “So, a trip to Bailey’s today?”
“You don’t have to go to work?”
“Michael texted and said to take off through the 26th, with the understanding that I’m on call.”
“That was generous. Why is he so nice to you?”
I smile, but the sadness seeps in. “When I first came to Floyd, Michael was freshly divorced and needed a friend. We didn’t hit it off at first, he’s a good deal younger than me.
But when his dad died, I took over at the firehouse so he could take time off.
He came back, and I handled everything back over to him.
I told him I was here to help, not to take over.
Apparently, he thought I was after his job, and that’s why he didn’t like me at first. After that, he’s been great. ”
She says, “He sounds like a nice guy.”
“He knows last night took a lot out of me. The house fires always do.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“Not at all. I’d rather focus on our trip to Bailey’s. You have a grocery list ready?”
She smiles and shakes her head. “I never shop with a list. I just wing it when I go to the store. I grab whatever looks good and fresh. Who does make a list?”
“I does that. Do that. You’ve got me tongue-tied,” I shake my head to clear it, “What do you mean, you wing it when you go to the store? Damn, no wonder you have the weirdest assortment of condiments I’ve ever seen.”
“Hey! It’s not weird. If you don’t have an assortment, you can’t mix them.”
“You mix them?”
She smiles. “Yeah. My favorite is when you mix ketchup and horseradish sauce. Tastes like cocktail sauce, without all the bits.”
My mouth drops open. “You are a strange girl.”
She laughs, “Well, you’re a strange boyfriend, so,” she shrugs, “we’re even.”
My chest flushes warm and there’s a rush to my other parts. “I’m your boyfriend?”
“Well, you did use the L—word, so I’m thinking yeah, you are. If you’re okay with the title. If you’re not—"
“I am more than okay with it.”
She smiles. “Good.”
It’s not an ‘I love you’ from her, but it’s a start. Getting Stella to write out a grocery list is harder than I thought. She does not like to be pinned down to anything but her bed. We manage eventually, though, and go to the grocery store.
The closer we get, the more worried I am.
With her brother coming for a visit, everything seems heightened.
I’m on the lookout for anything suspicious.
No unfamiliar vehicles in the parking lot.
All Virginia plates, all cars and trucks that I recognize.
Even Pastor Keppler’s minivan. Looks to be bouncing around.
I wonder if Edna Winters is in there with the Pastor’s son.
Kind of nice to be distracted by something so mundane.
I don’t have to think about the possibilities of her brother’s visit.
As I park the truck, I tell Stella, “I sort of wish Alex wasn’t showing up today. ”
“Do you have a problem with my brother?”
“No, it’s not that. Alex seems great. It’s just, with this being the holidays, people get sentimental, they want to see their family. So, it seems to be the most likely time for someone to follow him to wherever you are. Does that make sense?”
She huffs. “I guess so. I mean, I get it, but I need to know how my grandfather is. Do you think I could possibly have a good Christmas, without knowing how he is?”
“I get that,” I nod. “But…I worry about you.”
Her smile lights up the space around her, and my truck has never looked better. “Thank you for worrying about me. I know I bristle about it, but I do appreciate you taking care of me.”
“I’m just glad—"
She pulls me in for a kiss. Her soft lips are pillowy and hot. “I mean it, Jordan. Thank you.”
“Of course.” I want to stay in the truck and see where that kiss could go. But I don’t want to walk around Bailey’s with a hard-on. “We should go, before the truck loses warmth.”
“Fine. But we’re continuing that kiss back home.”
“Well, now I have another reason to hurry,” I tell her.
She giggles, my heart jumps again, and we go out into the bracing cold.
Takes the starch right out of my collar.
The grocery store is crowded for the holiday, so my nerves are on high alert.
I don’t let Stella out of my sight. She’s on the hunt for canned pumpkin, so I focus on the search.
It helps me to ignore the sights and sounds of a packed grocery store the day before Christmas.
Jesus, I think everyone in Floyd is here.
The pandemonium inside matches the mayhem in my brain.
The Hannigan house fire brought up a lot of bad memories from my time in the service, but Stella doesn’t need to know that.
Not with everything she has going on. Besides, if I told her, she might think I need to quit at the firehouse. What would they do without me?
My heart jumps. Where’d Stella go?
I race between the crowd of sardines, squeeze among them, and try not to drown. There’s a weight on my chest and my head spins. But then I see a series of crimson curls two aisles over, and race there. “Stella!”
She turns around and smiles. My heart can start again. “There you are.”
“Same to you. You okay?”
She nods. “Just shopping. Are you okay?”
“Yeah. I’m fine. Now.”
“You seem upset.”
I shake my head. “Totally fine. Found the canned pumpkin. Last one.”
“Thanks, hon.” She leans up and kisses me. “Well done. I’ll cross it off the list.” She uses her finger to draw a line through it on her phone, then pockets it.
I’m shocked, and I glance around the grocery store. “You’re okay with doing that?”
“Crossing off something from the list?”
“Kissing. In public.”
She laughs. “What, you’re not a public display of affection guy?”
“No, not that. I mean, in case of Riker’s guys. Seems like a good way to be distracted, you know?”
“Oh,” she blinks and sort of laughs to herself.
“Honestly, I hadn’t even thought of it. I guess we should be more careful.
” She leans close to me and says, “I always feel so safe with you. I guess I wasn’t thinking about it.
” She kisses me again, then whispers, “Which is the first time in three years when I was in public and I wasn’t thinking about everything. Thank you, Jordan.”
“Happy to help.” I’m left with a smile on my face.
Until I hear, “Jordan Waters, you naughty boy!”
I turn around. Ugh. “Katie Briar, what a pleasant surprise.” Oh damn.