4
“What? No—”
he started to say, but I knew he would deny it.
“I get it, it’s a lot to ask of anyone. But that’s what ‘in sickness and in health’ means. And you couldn’t handle it. Which, fine, you didn’t sign up for that. We were only engaged for what? Twenty minutes?”
“Julia, that’s not it. That’s not the reason, I swear.”
“Of course you can’t admit it. But doesn’t the timing seem strange to you, if it wasn’t about me being in a wheelchair? As long as I was disabled, you were nowhere to be found. Now I’m walking again, doing great, and suddenly you swoop back into my life. Doesn’t that seem…suspicious to you?”
“But when I first came back, I thought you were still in the wheelchair! Don’t you remember that day in the hospital?”
“Sure. But I don’t believe it. A man with a billion dollars can find out anything he wants to know, including the health status of anyone on the planet. Right?”
“Maybe he can, but it didn’t occur to me. Wait, I can prove it! Come with me.”
“What? I will not. I’m going home.”
“Julia, please. If you ever cared for me. Let me show you this one thing. Please give me this one chance. If it doesn’t convince you, I’ll do whatever you want. If you want me to go away and leave you in peace, I will, even though it might as well kill me.”
He had tears in his eyes, actual tears. I didn’t want to go with him, but at the same time, I wanted it more than anything. If I could know for sure that he didn’t leave because I was disabled--what mattered more than that? I wanted to keep him from being able to hurt me again, but it was too late for that anyway.
“Okay, Nick,”
I said softly. “Okay. You can show me whatever it is.”
He picked up my hand and kissed it, then led me to the parking deck. We were soon headed out of town, in the same direction he’d taken before, when he’d shown me the tree we hit in the accident.
“Where are we going?”
“Out to the lake.”
He didn’t elaborate, and I didn’t ask anything else. I was emotionally wrung out. Uncertainty is hard for me to take, and everything was up in the air during that car ride.
I thought I had my future all mapped out without Nick, and now? Did he want to be with me, or was he leaving? It was a beautiful time of day, when afternoon edges into evening, and I tried to just notice the beauty and stop thinking.
Soon we were at the lake, but Nick turned away from the public beach side, and onto a private drive. It was an old dirt road, and I could see glimpses of the lake through the pines as we bumped along. We turned onto a smooth new gravel driveway, and pulled up beside a big, new, lodge-style log house. We got out, and Nick led me behind the house.
The back of it was mostly huge windows, and I could see why: the house looked out over the lake. At this hour its mirror-like surface was pure gold.
“Come on,” he said.
“Whose house is this?”
“I was hoping it would be your wedding present. From me.”
I could feel my mouth falling open as I looked back at the house. The long lake-facing side of the place had a deep porch extending for its whole length. Wide stairs led up to it at the center, and also, on the end closest to where we’d parked, there was a ramp.
A handicapped ramp.
I pounded up the steps and waited for Nick to unlock the door. When he opened it, I noticed how wide it was, and how there was no bump between the porch and the floor inside, just a smooth transition. When you’ve spent time in a wheelchair, you notice these things. We entered into a foyer, but where I expected to see a staircase, there was an ornate set of what could only be elevator doors.
I looked at Nick, and I know my mouth was hanging open in shock. He shrugged his shoulders.
To the right of the foyer was a huge room with a stone fireplace and a whole wall of windows. There were polished, exposed beams and beautiful woodwork everywhere, but no furniture. We passed on to the kitchen, another big bright room, and I noticed that on one side, the granite countertops were lower than normal, with no cabinets under them. A person in a wheelchair could easily move close to one of those counters and chop vegetables or stir up cookie dough.
“Whose house is this?”
I asked again.
“When I had it built, I hoped that someday it would be yours. Ours.”
“I can’t…. I’m not getting it. Tell me from the beginning.”
He led the way back out onto the porch, and we sat down on the broad steps. He looked out over the lake for a while before he started talking.
“When I left you in the ICU, I was a mess. I didn’t sleep, didn’t eat. Then I started taking double the amount of courses at school. Just threw myself into working. I studied all the time, and spent the rest in the gym. And it was just…nothing. I graduated and got a job delivering pizza while I worked on the fitness app. I thought, if I could just work hard enough, I could forget about you and how everything got snatched away from us.”
I took his hand. Just to be nice, you know.
“And then the app was done and it took off like crazy, but I couldn’t really feel it. Everything was empty. Once I’d made all the money, all these women just came out of the woodwork, and I thought, okay now I’ll find someone to help me move on. But they didn’t know me. They didn’t want to know me, as long as I stayed rich. Julia, all I could think about was you.”
He looked across the lake, and sighed. A bird was flying across the lake, just a foot above the surface of the water.
“So I thought of a plan. How I could at least make you think better of me. Show you how much you meant to me. Maybe get to see you once in a while. Because all this time, no matter how crazy this sounds, to me we were still engaged. And even if I didn’t end up getting to marry you, just seeing you a little bit was better than life without you. But still I hoped.
I dreamed that someday we would get married and have a family. And so I got the land out here where we had our only day together, and built this house. It was like a good luck charm.”
“Pretty big for a good luck charm,”
I said, but I said it gently.
“This is what I mean, that I can prove it. That I didn’t care about you being disabled. When I pictured us living here together, having kids, all that stuff—I always pictured you in the wheelchair.”
We sat without saying anything for a long time, watching the birds wheel above the water in the sunset light. So many things were whirling around in my head. Could I really have been this wrong about him all the time?
“Wow. Nick, I don’t know what to say.”
“Say that you’ll give me a chance. Let me make it up to you for leaving like I did.”
“But wait! You’re leaving again—you said so back at the hospital!”
“No I didn’t!”
He actually laughed, a big belly laugh. “Julia, I said something like I couldn’t wait to get started, or get going. I didn’t say I was leaving.”
“Then what was all that texting about?”
“I applied to the Physical Therapist program here at the university—it’s a master’s degree. I got in!”
“What? But you don’t need to work!”
“I don’t need to for the money, but I have to. For me. What am I going to do all day, for the rest of my life? I worked with a lot of PTs when I made the app—they wanted it for their patients. And I really want to do that kind of work, help people with their pain, that kind of stuff.”
“I know what PTs do,”
I laughed. “How do you think I learned to walk again?”
“Oh yeah, of course you do. Sorry.”
“So, you’re staying in Greenwood?”
“Yes! Tell me you’ll give me a chance.”
I took a deep breath. I should have had a decision to make, but in my heart that decision was already made. “I have to tell you something, Nick.”
“Is there someone else? Tell me quick, Julia!”
“No! No, there’s no one else.”
I was glad to see the relief on his face. “I do have a confession to make. Every day since the accident, I have thought of you, missed you, wished for you—”
Before I could get another word out, Nick said, “Julia,”
and took my face in both of his hands. His thumb stroked my cheek, by my mouth. He looked into my eyes, and then slowly lowered his lips to mine.
As soon as our lips touched, I let out an involuntary moan, and then gradually opening, tasting, we kissed more and more deeply until there was nothing but his lips on mine. It felt like a century since our last kiss, since the last time every cell in my body had come to blossoming life like this.
Too soon, he broke the kiss, and said the sweetest words, which he’d said to me once before. “Julia, I love you so much. No matter what happens, I always will. Will you marry me?”
“Yes!”
He jumped up, and pulled me to my feet by my hand. We walked towards the door, and then without warning, he scooped me up in his arms. I laughed in surprise, and curled close to his solid chest. He looked down at me and kissed me gently before he carried me over the threshold of our home.
When he set me down inside, I said, “I still can’t believe you did all this for me. Show me the house!”
We wandered from room to room, and the more I saw of it, the more I loved it. The combination of rustic looks with well-designed convenience and luxury in every detail was perfect.
The walls were all white, and the floors were unfinished, because, as Nick explained, he thought we’d want to pick out the decor together. For the same reason, there was no furniture.
“Nick, I’m looking for one thing, but the house just doesn’t seem to have it.”
His face fell. “Oh no. Well, whatever it is, I’m sure we can have it added on. What is it?”
I whispered, “A bed!”
We laughed together, sounding a little nervous.
“I hate to say it, but I don’t have a bed here. We could…relax in my office, though.”
He led me to a room overlooking the lake, furnished with a desk and shelves, complete with a computer and office machines, and also a huge leather couch. “I sleep here sometimes, if I’ve been working late.
I went to the window, to hide my nerves. The sun had gone down, and I could hear crickets tuning up outside. “We still have one problem, though, the same one we had before the accident. Most people would say we’re brother and sister. They DO say it. The gossip is going to be brutal.”
“Do you care?”
“I don’t love the idea, but to me, it’s totally worth it. But just like before, Mom and Joe are going to be the ones who have to hear it.”
“Your mom’s tough, Jule. And she loves you. She wants you to be happy. If you’re happy, that’s all she’ll care about. Hey, whatever happened to that chick, that crazy Suzanne?”
I laughed. “You know, I haven’t thought of her in forever. I don’t even know if she’s still in town.”
“See? The people who aren’t important just fade away. I do think it would be best to get married soon. That will stop a lot of wagging tongues.”
He came up behind me at the window and put his arms around me. I could feel his warm breath in my hair.
I turned around in his arms and wrapped mine around him. I didn’t want to think about other people any more. I pressed myself against him, aligning our bodies the best I could. I took a deep breath and mustered up my courage. “Nick, will you make love to me?”
He kissed me then, and pulled me tighter against him. “I’ll do whatever you want. You sure you don’t want to wait for our wedding night?”
I couldn’t tell, but I thought he might be teasing me.
“I’ve waited long enough. I want to have you. At last.”
He picked me up and carried me to the couch, and kneeling down, he put me on it as carefully as if I was made of glass. My bare shoulders felt the cool leather, but the rest of me was swathed in the thin, slick silk of my evening gown. Nick leaned over me and put his hands in my hair. He kissed my forehead, and the tip of my nose, and then my cheek.
“This little mole right here drives me crazy. I can’t look at it without wanting to kiss it.”
He did kiss it then, and opening his mouth, he caressed it with his tongue and lips, then drew my mouth into the kiss. I don’t know what it was, the power he had to make every cell in my body wake up, heat up, and catch fire. I wanted him desperately.
He kissed his way down my neck to the tops of my breasts. Every spot that he kissed was little hot coal on my skin, but it was a delicious fire.
His hands on the outside of my dress cupped and molded my breasts, lifting them so he could kiss more and more of them. My hands were in his crisp hair, urging him on. I was so impatient! I half sat up and pulled on his black bow tie, which made me chuckle.
“What’s funny?” he said.
“How many girls get to have their first time with a man in a tuxedo?”
“Julia. You’re…. It’s your first time?”
“Yeah,”
I whispered. “No one else was ever good enough.”
He put his arms around me and crushed me to his chest. “Oh, Julia. I will try my whole life to live up to that.”
He held me for a long moment and then let go and took off his own tie, while I started to unbutton his shirt. Then I pushed it off his shoulders and put my hands on his chest. He was bigger, more powerfully muscled than he’d been that long-ago day at the lake. I kissed his chest, and tried to sit up.
He stood and pulled me up, then quickly turned me around and unzipped my dress all the way down. “Let’s get you out of this,”
he said. He pushed the dress down and I stepped out of it. Underneath I wore a red lacy corset and red silk panties that matched the dress. He let out a huge wolf-whistle then, which made me laugh a little and feel less nervous. “That is some fancy underwear, Julia.”
He started to undo the hooks, and I said, “Let’s wait a bit.”
I was thinking of my scars. What I was wearing hid most of them. Maybe we could turn the lights out before I took it off.
Together we sat on the couch and started kissing again. I loved the kissing, but I wanted to see him—all of him. I slid onto the floor and quickly knelt between his legs. He looked at me quizzically, but I went ahead and put both of my hands flat over the fly of his tuxedo pants. I could feel the hard ridge of his cock. I explored it the best I could over his clothes, rubbing and squeezing a little, but finally I said, “Can you take these off?”
Like a flash he stood, unbuttoned and unzipped, pushed down pants and underwear in one motion, took off shoes and socks—in an instant he was naked. I leaned back on my heels and gazed at him. He was all muscular planes and angles, power coiled sleeping in his body. He sat down, extended his arms out on the back of the couch, and slid his hips forward.
Right in front of me, standing rigidly at attention, was his cock. Can a cock be beautiful? His was. It was the first one I’d ever seen in person. Of course, I have an internet connection, and we know what the internet is full of. But that was no match for the real thing.
I got as close to him as I could, scooting on my knees right up to the couch. I touched the tip of his cock lightly with my fingers. It was so smooth. I didn’t expect the skin of it to feel like that. I stroked his cock downwards from the tip, and used my other hand to stroke his balls. I held the sac in my hand, and this was a surprise too—I could actually feel his balls in there, firm and rounded like eggs.
He leaned forward, put his hands into the top of my corset, and lifted my breasts out, so they were on display above the corset. He brushed my nipples with his thumbs, and lightly pulled and tweaked them. Hot electric wires of desire went from his hands on my breasts straight to my core.
I looked him in the eye, leaned forward, and kissed the very tip of his cock.
“Julia, you don’t have to do that.”
“Have to? Are you kidding? I’ve been fantasizing about doing this for years!”
He gasped at that, and his cock gave a jerk, almost like it had heard me too. He leaned back on the couch and gestured to me to do what I wanted.
I took just the head in my mouth, with Nick watching me the whole time. It felt so smooth, and I swirled my tongue around and around the tip.
I looked at it again, and saw a tiny slit there, and then put my mouth back and used my tongue to rub that slit.
Nick closed his eyes and just slightly pushed his hips towards me, urging me to do more. I slid my mouth down his shaft, stretching my lips wide around his girth.
Another part of my body was eagerly anticipating doing the same thing; I could feel it. The space between my legs felt softer, more open, and it was buzzing with desire.
I pushed Nick’s cock as far back in my mouth as I could get it. He sat up then and stroked my hair, and then he started to gently move his cock in and out of my mouth.
This sent a zing of sensation straight to my pussy. I tightened my lips on him and let him push himself into my mouth. I tried to relax my throat to take it deeper. I gagged a little bit, a couple of times, but I didn’t care. I just wanted more and more of him.
“I have to stop,”
he said, pulling his cock away from me. “I want to wait to be inside you.”
I wanted him badly, but I have to say that I was pretty nervous. His cock seemed enormous—I could hardly get my hand around it. How could it go in me? And also, I didn’t want him to see my back and its scars. Time to turn the lights out.
I started to go to the lamp, and he said, “What are you doing?”
“I’m shy. I want the lights off.”
“Oh no, I have to see you. I’ve been dreaming of how you look forever.”
“But….”
I could hardly say it. I whispered, “I still have scars from the surgery.”
“Oh Julia, I don’t care about that.”
“No, they’re really bad. Please, let me—”
He grabbed me around the waist and held me to him. ‘My love. I don’t. Care. About your scars.”
He held me tightly with one arm and with the other he undid the snaps at the front of the corset. He took it off, and then pulled my panties down. He was so strong, I couldn’t move. Then he lowered me to the couch, face down. I tried to turn, to get away, but he held me still and said, “No. Stay.”
I lay there trembling, my back and buttocks with their ugly scars fully exposed to his view. I felt like crying because he didn’t say anything.
Then I felt his breath on my back. While holding me down tightly, he started to kiss the long scar on my back, beginning at the top, and showering kisses on it all the way down. He said, between kisses, “I don’t love some dream of perfection.”
Kiss. “I love you.”
Kiss. “The whole you.”
Kiss. “Your strength and courage.”
Kiss. “Your sense of adventure.”
Kiss. “Your enormous kind heart.”
Kiss. “You’re a beauty, Julia, and I love looking at you.” Kiss. “But that’s just the packaging.”
By this point, his mouth had reached the very lowest spot on my back.
His hands went to my ass, one on each side.
There were scars there too, and he kissed them all.
Then his hands began a deep kneading motion that pulled my pussy up and down along with it, and pushed the front of my mound into the surface of the couch.
He pushed my legs apart and then lowered his face to the center of me.
I arched my back towards him instinctively, almost as if I couldn’t help it.
I felt his mouth on my folds.
His tongue snaked between my lower lips and I knew he must be tasting me.
After a minute, he turned me over.
He looked into my eyes and gave me the warmest smile.
My legs were spread wide enough for him to lie in between, and he took one of my legs and draped it over the back of the couch.
I was totally open to him.
Then he lowered his face to my core, this time from the front.
His hands pulled my folds apart.
He gave me some long slow licks, and I could feel myself opening.
Then his tongue found my clit, and he stayed on it, using his tongue to rub, rub, rub, until I stopped thinking about anything but that sensation.
I know I was making sounds; I know I was arching and pushing into him, but that was all secondary to what he was doing to me.
I felt the increasing tension and rising pleasure, and knew that my orgasm would not be long in coming.
Then he lifted his head and I wanted to cry out in frustration.
Nick shifted over me, bringing his body up so his face was even with mine. He kissed me and I could taste my own arousal on his face. He was breathing fast as he positioned the tip of his cock at my entrance.
He looked into my eyes and I felt the depth of this moment.
He pushed against me, but didn’t enter.
I spread my legs wider to welcome him.
I felt that we were crossing a border together, going to a place I’d never been.
He pushed his cock more firmly, and it stretched me a bit but not enough. He pulled back and then pushed ahead a little more. He was shaking with the effort it took to hold back.
“Please!”
I said. “I need you.”
He looked right into my eyes as he pushed hard, all the way into me in one thrust.
The pain was like a line of white fire all the way in.
I gasped from the pain and he paused, but kept himself deeply inside of me.
I panted, trying to get used to the mingled pleasure and pain, and gradually Nick started to move.
His motion sent waves of pleasure through me, radiating outward from my center.
He shifted a bit, and placed his hand on my mound, with his thumb firmly on my clit.
Then he started to move again, and this time, with his deep thrusts combined with the pressure on my clit, I rode the waves of pleasure, my pain eclipsed by this intense feeling.
It didn’t take long for me to climb to that peak of pleasure again.
I had been so close before and now I was flying.
I heard myself cry out, and then the waves of sensation crashed over my head and my orgasm burst through me in a rush.
Nick watched my face as I came, and then he pushed one more time, ending in the deepest possible place.
I felt him spasming against me as he drowned in his own orgasm.
We held each other.
Nick stayed inside me, our bodies joined in simple closeness.
I became aware of the sounds around us, the crickets chirping, our gradually slowing breathing.
The lamplight played softly over the lines of his face.
I realized that all the hurt and anger that I’d stored up over the last three years was gone, drained away by the firm certainty of Nick’s love for me.
For the first time since that day at the lake, that long-ago day of the accident, I looked at the future and it looked like a place where I wanted to go.
I knew that soon we would get up from this cozy spot and step out into our future, together at last.
The End