Chapter seven
Stupid. So stupid. Why didn't I just leave it alone? We were getting along fine. It's too early to bring up the past. I lay in bed berating myself. I have to apologize. Maybe I can fix this.
I can't stop replaying it in my mind. I shouldn't have asked. I just want him close to me again. Okay, only way to fix this is to do it. What's the worst that can happen? He doesn't want to talk to me ever again? Pretty much where we're at now.
I climb out of bed throwing my robe around me and head for his bedroom. I knock on his door and I feel like a little girl again when I used to slide into bed with him in the dark. He'd always welcome me, sliding over and sharing his covers. Pressed up against me with his strong arms around me I was safe. Warm. Loved.
I don't hear him stirring so I knock again, louder this time. He's never turned me away. One time I slipped in and he had a girl with him. She woke up when I started climbing in his bed and yelled. I smile as the memory comes back to me.
It was dark as I made my way into his bed. I'd had another nightmare and Ben always took care of me. I touched his shoulder and he scooted aside without a word so I could slide in between the sheets.
Then a girl screamed. I jumped back out of bed tears running down my face.
"Shut up," Ben barked at the girl behind him.
"What the hell is this?" she asks.
She's sitting up behind her and I can see she's naked. Her breasts are much bigger than mine illuminated by the moonlight streaming in his window.
"She's my sister, she needs me."
The girl was wide eyed, her mouth moved but no words came out. She pulled the sheet up across herself.
"You some kind of freak?" she asked. "You sleep with your sister?"
Ben turned away from me and I couldn't see his face but his voice was hard and cold. "Get the fuck out of my house now."
"You can't kick me out! We just ..."
Ben didn't say anything as he climbed out of bed and stood staring at her.
The girl looked back and forth between the two of us. Ben put an arm around my shoulder pulling me close to him. My head spun from the smell of him, the softness of his skin against my face, the strength of his arm around my shoulders.
"You are a freak," the girls said climbing off the bed. "Both of you, damn American freaks!"
She pulled her clothes together and left. I looked at Ben.
"Don't worry about her Vic. I'll always protect you."
I knock again louder, it's really early so maybe he's sleeping deeply. When I still don't get an answer, memories of my naiveté make me bold and I open the door. His room is immaculate but that's Ben, perfectionist to the end. His bed is made though. Or hasn't been slept in. Where is he? I look around for a note or indication of where he could have gone but there's nothing in his room.
I start searching the house but there's no sign of him anywhere. I go to the kitchen thinking he might be up getting breakfast but only Esmeralda is there baking fresh bread.
"Have you seen Ben?" I ask.
"Oh yes Miss, he left very early. Soon as I arrived he was heading out. Said he was spending the day on his yacht."
My stomach drops out from under me. We were supposed to spend this time together and he left for his yacht? He must really hate me to put his inheritance at risk. I sit down and let Esmeralda fix my breakfast.
The rest of the morning passes with nothing to really do. I try to read a book but can't hold my attention on it. By early afternoon I give up and settle in to watch some television.
I can't quit going over the argument in my mind. What could I have done differently? Why did my dad and Ben argue so much? He'd brought up the night I was almost raped. What am I missing?
My memory of that night is fragmented. After Ben rescued me my parents took me to the hospital and there were so many things happening. They kept me there for three days giving me drugs and running tests. A psychiatrist came to see me for counseling. I only recall it in pieces, moments in time that don't connect. I remember Ben and my dad screaming at each other. The worst fight they'd ever had.
Did my dad hit Ben? That can't be right. Dad never hit anyone. He isn't a violent man. I shake my head to clear it but one image stays with me. My dad over Ben with his fist raised, Ben on the ground with his nose bleeding. Is that real?
I'm lost in my thoughts when I hear a crash from the kitchen. I jump up and run to see if Esmeralda is okay. She stands there with both hands over her mouth, tears running down her face, and staring in open horror at the television.
"Ezz, what is it?" I ask.
She points a shaking hand. The screen shows a scene that must be taken from a helicopter circling over a flaming wreck. The sound is too low for me to hear what's happening but a scrolling bar along the bottom says all I need to know.
'Prince' Benjamin Brandt, Playboy Billionaire, lost at sea
My legs shake as I walk over and turn the sound up. The camera circles around Ben's yacht which is in flames and sinking fast. I don't see how anyone could survive that. Fire engulfs the entire structure, there seems to be something stuck to the side of the ship.
"Benjamin Brandt, heir to the Brandt Group, is believed lost at sea. A speedboat crashed into his yacht just over one hour ago causing a massive explosion. Missing along with Mr. Brandt are ..."
The screen fills with faces of other young people believed to have been out on the yacht with Ben. I can't catch my breath. I try to inhale but it won't come. I haven't had two asthma attacks this close together in years but this is another one. I fumble at the kitchen drawer where I keep an emergency inhaler as my vision closes in. I pull it out and take a long puff then work my way to a seat. I stare at the screen which has a picture of Ben posted along the side so we can watch rescuers attempting to put out the fire.
No one can survive that.