Milo #5
I was not paying enough attention to his groin to notice he was quickly going soft.
It was definitely because I liked the sight of a dick that had gone from hard to soft.
Usually, it was because it only happened after a guy had gotten off, so the still thick but soft sight was a sign of sexual contentment, generally because I had been involved.
That wasn’t the case here, but that didn’t stop my brain from making the same connection, and my already tight jeans were getting even tighter.
Thank God no one was paying attention to anything other than my face because I had an obvious bulge in my pants.
“Eli,” Eva barked with a laugh. “Your dick is still out.”
Eli looked down and turned beet red. Grumbling, he darted off, and I definitely did not pay attention to the curve of his bare ass or remember the brief sight when he’d been on top of her.
Nope, wasn’t doing anything like that.
“Hi, Eva,” I said grimly as she sat up, casually wrapping the blanket around her.
Ironically, I had seen her naked more times than I’d seen Eli just because of circumstances and her rather laid-back approach to things.
Of the handful of girlfriends Eli had had since he was thirteen, Eva was the only one I’d ever really liked.
The rest had been...okay, for the most part anyway, but who hadn’t had a rotten boyfriend or girlfriend somewhere in their history?
And yes, my dislike of most of them probably came from jealousy, but I knew better than to let that be the only reason.
It was enough that it made it hard for me to connect with most of them, but I’d never been actively mean to any of them, except the truly nasty ones.
“Hi there, Milo,” she said with a chuckle, stretching her bare legs out from the blanket, flexing her toes as she did so. “We weren’t expecting you for a few more hours.”
“I didn’t have to worry about class today because I have everything done,” I said as I heard a thump of something heavy hitting the wall and a muttered curse.
If I had to guess, Eli had been trying to pull on his pants in a rush and had tipped into the wall.
I, of course, did not picture him bent over, ass out, dick flopping enticingly as he fought to get his pants on.
“I was not aware that you were...going to come over.”
I watched as she tucked the blanket in, perfectly recreating the towel wrap I’d seen women do after a shower. “You’re looking...red.”
“Gee,” I grumbled, turning away before she noticed anything else off about my appearance.
I rounded the corner to drop the bags of food on the counter in the kitchen and opened the fridge.
With a grunt, I grabbed one of the beers left from the other night and cracked it open.
It wouldn’t be enough to wipe the mental image from my mind, but maybe with the drink from earlier, I could get a bit of mental peace. “I can’t imagine why.”
Yeah, right.
Her voice sounded amused. “If it makes you feel any better, he’s probably just as horrified as you are.”
“Right,” I grunted as I took a deep drink from the bottle, glad Eva couldn’t see me.
Horror was the last thing I was feeling at that moment, and she was pretty good at poking into other people’s heads.
Sometimes she unnerved me with how she looked at me, and I would swear she knew thoughts I would have preferred were kept private.
That was especially true regarding my true feelings for Eli, which I would swear up and down some part of her was aware of or at least suspected.
She hadn’t done or said anything to make me think that, but the idea was stubborn. Maybe it was just paranoia, but I would swear she sometimes watched me carefully when I was with Eli. And in moments like that, I was desperate she didn’t ferret out what was going on in my head...and my body.
It was to my benefit that Eli acted so embarrassed, which made it even more justified that I was acting that way too.
For all she knew, as comfortable as I was with sex and nudity, maybe it was different with Eli because he and I had always been different with one another.
Maybe it was just how we were; something about how close we were was enough to change things.
God, I hoped that was how she saw it. All the jokes from family and friends notwithstanding, none of them seemed to honestly believe there was anything there, not even from me.
It would be one thing if we were simply childhood best friends, then at least I’d be just another gay guy who stumbled into a crush on their straight best friend.
That, at least, was understandable, hopeless, but no one could say much about that.
But when that same straight guy was your stepbrother?
Well, that would raise some eyebrows, if not draw down some judgment.
“I guess there are worse things to see,” she said with a laugh as I came back into the living room, having grabbed a second beer after polishing off the first one while I’d tried to get myself under control.
“I think you and I are gonna have to disagree on that,” I lied through my teeth because Jesus Christ, now I was going to have to decide if I should add that to the spank bank.
It wasn’t like I hadn’t given in to temptation in the past and jerked off to thoughts of Eli, but that had been years ago.
Guilt and shame had won out over temptation as I’d gotten older, and damn it all, thinking about someone else while I was dating someone was out of the question.
Not quite cheating, hell, even I knew I was attracted to other people, and it wasn’t like sleeping with the person, but the shame from that, the shame of being hot for my damned stepbrother, was going to win out.
Which was especially awful because it barely won out, even with two guilts combining; that was how intense my arousal was, even as I fought to keep it under control.
I flashed her a smile, knowing it was better to fake it until eventually it made itself real. “So, I’m going to guess he’s still getting the job done if you keep coming around for it.”
She tossed her hair over her shoulder, raking her fingers through it. “Like I told you that night, we didn’t break up because the sex was bad. Because it wasn’t and isn’t.”
As if I could forget the night she had come by to talk to him to find out he was already out cold in bed, and decided to linger and have a few drinks with me.
A few turned into several, and we had talked.
Alcohol and comfort had brought me dangerously close to spilling my guts, to admitting that the guy she had broken up with a year ago was the source of my most hidden and potent fantasies.
That if I allowed it to happen, the love I had for him could quickly shift into something one shouldn’t feel for someone related to you, even if it was by marriage.
The admission had sat on my tongue, dangerously heavy and threatening to drop from my lips.
Only for Eva to announce she was glad the two of them had broken up, but damned if she didn’t miss the sex.
My admission flung itself back down my throat, sitting in my chest like a weight as she explained how their relationship had been great, but in the end, she had walked away feeling as though they weren’t connecting.
In some hard-to-describe, nebulous way, neither of them had made a connection, and that had been deeply important to her.
There was no bitterness because she couldn’t explain if the failure was hers, his, theirs combined, or if it wasn’t a failure at all, and that in the end it didn’t matter because it was what it was, and the two of them still got along.
Which would have been fine, except the part where I wanted to hear that to feed the hope I could never quash, no matter how much I tried.
The hope that one day, the special bond between us would spread to encompass every aspect of our lives.
We wouldn’t just be incredibly close brothers who were also best friends, but ones who found their way to being lovers.
No matter how many times I stamped on its head and buried the body deep, it popped up whenever Eli’s relationships didn’t work, or when people commented on how close we were, how we never seemed able to be away from each other for too long.
But then she had to inadvertently make it worse by going into a follow-up rant about how she missed the sex.
About how good Eli looked naked, and how he liked to talk a big game but was oh so rare in how he followed up on that talk.
I, of course, had not known Eli was the sort to talk a mad game in the first place.
If there was one gap in our knowledge of one another, it was about sex.
Him, because why the hell would he want to know about mine beyond what little he’d witnessed, and me, because it was not a good idea for me to have more knowledge to fantasize about.
Lord, I got plenty of information I did not need that night.
“Yes, thank you for that reminder,” I said with a snort and another sip. Better to play up the slightly traumatized brother, but not to play the hand too hard because that would be suspicious. Just play it off, that was it.
“Don’t you talk about anyone’s sex life?” she asked with a snort. “Like it’s nothing?”
Oh, but it was not nothing when it came to Eli. “I mean, yeah, but it’s different with him.”
“Why, because he’s your stepbrother? Weren’t you the one who said you scar your other siblings by openly talking about your sex life and asking about theirs?”
“I mean, yeah, I guess.”
“But this is Eli,” she said with a wrinkle of her nose. “So that’s different.”