Elijah #3
“Since forever,” she said with a shake of her head as she tucked her phone away.
Raf gave what sounded like an exasperated but fond sigh. That’s Milo for you. I think I’ll leave this mess to someone better equipped to deal with it. I won’t have any luck reeling him in.”
Milo pulled away, looking at Raf. “Are you leaving?”
Belatedly, I realized he was talking to Raf, who reached out and drew Milo close, giving him a kiss that I chose not to watch. “Yeah, I’ve got to get ready for that wedding reception. Group discounts mean a lot of heavy drinkers.”
“Good tips though,” Milo said, dropping onto the couch with only a momentary hesitation before hitting the opposite side from Eva, putting him right in the middle of us. “Text me.”
“You got it,” Raf said. “The rest of you take it easy.”
“You too,” I said over my shoulder, knowing if I met his eyes, the anger and discomfort in my gut would find its way into my gaze. It only lessened when I heard the apartment door close behind Raf.
Eva looked around for a moment. “On that note, I should probably go too.”
I looked up in surprise. “Wait, what? I thought you were going to hang out for a while longer.”
Milo said nothing, pulling out his phone and playing a game.
He was always finding some new mobile game to screw around with whenever he was bored or antsy.
He never stuck to any one game for long, though, and at a glance, I realized I didn’t recognize the new one.
It must have been one he’d picked up in the past couple of days, and I wondered if maybe Raf had introduced him to it.
“Eh,” Eva said, uncurling her legs and shooting me a look full of knowledge but no explanation. “I have other things to do than keep you company. Plus, you’ve got Milo here; he’ll keep you entertained.”
Milo looked up. “What?”
“You’ve been keeping him busy since you were kids. I doubt that’s going to change anytime soon,” Eva said, draining her bottle and taking it to the kitchen. “Plus, the night hasn’t even started yet. Maybe I’ll find someone worth spending the night with.”
“Your priorities, as always, are dubious and questionable,” I said, leaning back to watch her walk toward the front door. “Wrap it!”
“Hey now, I made an exception with you, but that’s because you’re so responsible. I’m not trusting some rando off the street or club floor with something like my health.” She chuckled, yanking on her heels. “You two crazy kids try not to have too much fun without me. Call me?”
“Or text, depending on my mood,” I told her.
“Don’t take too long,” she said, and I turned at the weighted tone of her voice to find her giving me a smirk. “Or I might hunt you down, and we both know you don’t want that.”
“Probably not,” I said, and my stomach squirmed as she turned and left with a wave.
Damn it all, she knew something . She was giving me time to talk to her about it, but she was also letting me know that I couldn’t avoid it forever, like I did when something was really uncomfortable or frightening for me.
And the fact that I had a sexual relationship with Milo fit both categories, or more accurately, talking to anyone else about it fit both categories.
I turned back to see Milo was still dicking around on his phone, except there was a crease in his forehead that wasn’t normally there when he was focused on a game. Frowning, I unwrapped one of my legs from under me and poked him with my foot. “Hey, what’s wrong with you?”
“Nothing’s wrong with me,” he said, still tapping at his phone. “Did you two have a good night?”
At face value, I might have mistaken it for a perfectly normal, harmless question, except he said it a little stiffly, and that crease in his brow had deepened.
“We sat around and talked shit for a bit, but mostly she just wanted to use me to buy her a coffee and pastry while she bitched about her mom and classes. So...pretty normal day with her, honestly.”
“Totally normal day, huh?” he asked, and the lightness in his voice sounded so forced that I frowned.
“You say there’s nothing wrong, but everything about you says different,” I told him with a scowl and poked him with my foot again.
“Didja fuck?”
Now, since when did he ask me something like?—
I took in his stiff body language, the frown on his face, the weird way he was talking, and then remembered how he had snapped and stomped off... after Eva had made her innuendo. I leaned back. “Milo, are you...jealous?”
“Fuck no,” he said far too quickly to be anything but a lie.
“Kinda seems like you are, bud.”
“Don’t call me that.”
“Probably a bad time to point out that you’re the one with a boyfriend, so if anyone was to have a problem here, it would be me.”
“No, because you don’t have a problem with anything. You just go with shit.”
“So...you are jealous?”
“Fine,” he snapped, tossing his phone to the side and glaring at me. “Maybe walking in and seeing Eva was...it...well, it sucked, alright? All I could think about was what you two had been doing before I showed up.”
“Okay,” I said, scowling at him. “And you think I love that you showed up with Raf? Like I needed the reminder that you two are together?”
“Well, unless you plan on being my boyfriend, you don’t get a say in that.”
“I’m not trying to have a say,” I retorted hotly. “But you don’t see anything wrong with suggesting I’m with you instead of him? Like you’re keeping him on retainer until I decide there’s good reasons for us not to date?”
“You were the one who said my relationship with him was shallow,” Milo bit out, standing up and marching toward the kitchen. “So why the fuck not?”
I sighed, leaning forward and rubbing my brow as I tried to get my emotions under control. I knew my temper wasn’t his fault, it wasn’t Raf’s fault, or Eva’s fault, for that matter. Hell, it wasn’t even necessarily my fault, I was just?—
“Jealous,” I said to myself. Jealous, insecure, and worried.
I didn’t even know if I wanted to date Milo.
There was always the chance that what was going on between us was just..
.temporary. I was in uncharted territory and didn’t want to risk everything we had on the chance that the same thing that had shifted inside me toward being with him would shift again and draw me away.
That would be unbelievably cruel and unfair to Milo, who deserved something a lot more certain than a guy who might be bi, or might just be having a good time and not realizing it was temporary.
There was guilt because we were keeping this whole thing a secret from everyone, and even if we didn’t need to tell anyone, it was...well, it was a lot.
With a sigh, I followed him into the kitchen.
He was leaning against the counter, an open beer in front of him, but from the looks of the contents, he had barely had more than a sip or two.
His shoulders were hunched, and the look on his face said he was either lost in his thoughts and ignoring me, or he was utterly lost in his own thoughts and wouldn’t have noticed a zebra wandering in.
Stepping forward, I put a hand on his hip and squeezed it to bring him back to reality.
His head picked up slightly, but he didn’t turn to look at me.
He was back in reality and knew my touch was a request, and his reaction wasn’t exactly an invitation, but it wasn’t a denial either.
Knowing it was my chance, I wrapped my arms around his waist, drawing him back so our bodies were flush, my front to his back as I rested my chin on his shoulder.
“You were jealous,” I said softly, feeling him tense but holding on. To back off in the face of his emotions would tell him I was trying to put distance between us when, in reality, a stubborn refusal to break the connection was something that could get through even his worst tempers.
After a long silence, he let out a breath and hung his head.
“I was...I am. And you were right. I don’t have a right to be.
And I wasn’t lying when I said that thing about my relationship with Raf being shallow, I knew it before you said something weeks ago.
And I’m not always happy that I haven’t said anything to him, but he could be fucking his dad for all I know, because like him, I’ve never asked what he does when I’m not around. ..or who.”
I snorted. “Is his dad hot?”
“Not as hot as mine, according to Raf,” Milo said, and I didn’t have to see him to know he was wrinkling his nose. “Which is gross.”
“At least he has a type; you two are eerily similar.”
“Are you trying to say you want to fuck Marshall?”
“No,” I said with a roll of my eyes. “And I was jealous too.”
He glanced over his shoulder. “You?”
“Me,” I confirmed.
“That’s...a weird thought,” he said, his brow creasing again. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard of you getting jealous.”
“It’s happened, I just didn’t make a big deal about it.”
“You’d be one of the few people who think so. Most people either think their jealousy is a big deal that needs to be dealt with, or the other side turns their noses up at the idea of jealousy.”
“Jealousy comes from insecurity, and we’re both feeling insecure because Raf and Eva were here,” I said, noticing that he was still tense but was intentionally leaning back into me.
I had him more relaxed, and I loosened my hold, but only so I could use one hand to rub his stomach in a gentle circle.
I’d never really been one to focus on stomachs, but I had to admit, his was nice, and I liked the feel of it under my hand.
Especially when I slipped it under his shirt to rub his skin, feeling the tickle of his hair against my palm.
“Yeah,” he said with a sigh. “And I get why we’re not like...open about things. There’s too much we don’t know, and I’m not ready to deal with what other people might say. So until we can be sure, we just...have to deal.”
“True,” I agreed even though I didn’t want to. “But what’s more important is making sure we don’t...let it get in the way, right?”