Chapter 17
17
[Judd]
A s Genie disappears down the dock, I slip beneath the water, needing a moment to cool off and allowing her the space she wants between us.
Eventually, I enter the house, deciding Genie and I should talk. I’d like a shower first, then I’ll seek her out. Once inside my bedroom, my cell phone rings on my nightstand, and I hang my head.
“Hey,” I answer.
“Judd? You okay?” My brother Clay’s concern comes from a good place. He has a large heart. He’s the one credited with being the most intuitive out of our family and he seems to read the room correctly.
“Yeah. Why?” I quietly ask, squinting toward a window.
“You didn’t come in today.”
“I don’t come in most days.” I stop in the Seed & Soil once a week and gather anything I might need, although most things we do are electronic. For the most part, I work from home. I like my solitude, and I’m considered a bit reclusive.
For the past few years, though, I’ve been itching for more. More color. More sound.
In forty-eight hours, Genie has been both of these things.
“Yeah, but you typically pop in on Monday mornings.” He pauses a second. “Just checking in on the newly engaged.”
“We’re . . . good.” I stammer, swiping a hand through my hair.
“Only good?” Clay teases. He’s in his all-in-love era after finally getting the girl he crushed on last fall. His situation was a little more complicated than mine with Genie but no less daunting.
It’s difficult to desire someone who doesn’t reciprocate the feeling. And Genie does not want me.
“No, Genie and I are great.” My voice cracks. I’m not good at lying, or even pretending. We aren’t great, but she’s amazing. She took my apology last night and offered compassion after what happened when we were in high school. When she thought I’d purposely stood her up.
She doesn’t know there’s even more to the story, but what she knows is enough.
“Are you taking today off?” Clay teases while inquisitive.
“What is this? Twenty questions?”
“Nope. Just four.”
“I think you’re only at three,” I correct.
“And that’s why we have you as our accountant. Good with those numbers.”
I scoff.
Clay is amazing with numbers in a different way. Instead of spread sheets, he has spatial vision, like Knox does. Our resident bricklayer makes beautiful patios, and I need to get him over to my place to remove the deck and set a stone patio. However, we rarely make ourselves the priority.
“Math Club paid off for you,” Clay continues.
The memory rushes back to me of how I had to ask Clay to give me every Thursday after school off from working at the Seed & Soil, back when I did grunt work instead of office work.
“Yeah.” I pause a second. “Now, if you don’t need me, I should probably get to work.”
“You know it’s okay to take a day off.”
“Says the man who never takes days off himself.”
“I do now,” he reminds me. “Because some people are more important.”
I could correct him, that he means some things are more important than work, but I understand what he is saying. The people in his life are Mavis and Dutton, and he’s a lucky man. He’s richer because of them. Happier.
“I know.” I whisper, wanting the same for myself. I want my person. The one promised to every other person.
After what happened in the lake with Genie, I’m worried I’m too cracked, battered and damaged for someone as shiny as her to love. And thinking of love might be getting ahead of myself.
After hanging up with Clay, I hop in the shower, hoping to clear my thoughts. Only they fill again the second I’m soaping up my dick. Images of Genie in that bathing suit. The swell of her breasts. The flare of her hips. Her skin.
I hum as I stroke the growing length.
We’d almost kissed, and I concentrate on how her lips might taste. Sweet. Soft. As hard as I am, I envision that softness around me, slowly sucking up and down my heavy cock.
I tip forward catching myself with my hand against the steamy tile. With visions of Genie on her knees before me, taking me into her mouth, I squeeze, imagining her mouth has me in her grasp. She hollows her cheeks, increasing the suction. Her tongue swirls around me until she tugs me to the back of her throat and then?—
“Fuck,” I grunt into the tiled space, the sound reverberating around me. I slap the hand bracing me upright against the tile, while I spill into the shower over my fist. My breath comes fast and sharp. I blink several times, attempting to wipe away the silver stars suddenly dancing before my eyes.
Holy shit. I’ve never come so quickly.
What would you wish for, Judd? If only I could tell Genie what I really want from her, but if the idea of kissing me is too much, she isn’t going to want to know more.
With a deep exhale, I step out of the shower and dress in dark jeans and a fresh T-shirt. Then I head to the guest bedroom, shaking out my hands before lightly rapping my knuckles on the door. I’m typically not the one to open communication but I don’t want any misunderstandings between us. We’ve already had too many.
If friendship is all she desires, I’m here for her.
When she doesn’t answer the door after a second knock, I risk invading her privacy and open the bedroom door.
Instantly, I notice how neatly the bed is made. Not a trace of Genie’s belongings are present. No clothes strewn on the chair. No shoes on the floor. Nothing on the dresser. I rush to the closet and let out a deep sigh of relief. Several dresses are neatly hung on hangers. Her suitcase is tucked in a corner.
My heart hammers with relief after skyrocketing with fear that she’s left.
Still, I wonder where she is. With the ensuite bathroom door open, she isn’t in there. I check the library next door, then traipse through the great room, trying not to let panic settle in.
I call out her name, but the silence echoes eerily back to me.
I scope out the garage and find relief once more when I notice her car still parked in my driveway.
A different kind of fear settles in. I head to the back deck, calling Genie’s name again with a little more urgency. She isn’t familiar with the woods surrounding my property, and a cold sweat covers my skin.
My concern becomes panic when two hours later, she still hasn’t answered her phone or shown her face.