Chapter 46
[Stone]
Itook a big chance, and it paid off.
Because Simon wasn’t answering his phone, Judd started to believe either the phone was forgotten or the charge dead.
Judd also had a people search app on Simon’s phone, being over cautious about Simon’s whereabouts, but the feature didn’t seem to be working.
It can happen, he explained. Depending on manually powering off a phone versus it simply being dead or the service being spotty.
The thought was hopeful in a roundabout sense. At least something hadn’t happened directly to Simon. He could simply be lost without a way to make contact. Or be contacted.
The sliver of hope still did nothing to put me at ease.
So I took a risk and headed to a place I’d run to if I were running away.
A greater fear was that Simon intended to hurt himself. Something I didn’t want to consider, but also didn’t have a choice to ignore.
Given how my father died, suicide was something I had experience with.
I didn’t want to think about it for Simon.
He was a smart kid with so much potential. He had Trudy’s love and Judd’s devotion, and he had Taxi trying to be another person in his corner.
The effort was there. Time was what Simon needed with Taxi.
And I didn’t want to think about it being too late. He was only ten.
As I pull into the gravel lot, so many memories come back to me.
Bringing Ford here to walk off frustrations after ballgames.
Coming here with Clay and Vale on occasion.
Hiking with Knox. Judd and Sebastian were never interested, which is ironic, as they each have a motorcycle now and make this spot a destination when they ride together.
Sterling Falls, the trail marker reads. There were several ways to see the famous falls.
Long hikes along the river. Shorter climbs up the boulders. There was even a hidden grotto of sorts off to the side of the falls. The trail to that spot was more locally known and harder to travel, and I hoped Simon wasn’t there.
Still, I call out his name, hopeful, desperate, eager to find him among the rocks and trees, boulders and water.
But not in any of them. Not in a sad ending kind of way.
“Simon,” I call out, optimistic, something in my gut saying it wasn’t too late. We could find him.
After several minutes, walking down the first trail that leads directly to the river’s edge, I double back, still hollering his name.
I should have gotten an entire crew out here, but the distance to the falls, especially on foot would have taken Simon hours.
Maybe he isn’t here, I second-guess myself.
“Simon, please,” I call out. “If you can hear me . . .” Give me something, kid.
Whatever he overheard, whatever he thinks Jolene and Taxi intended, Trudy Wallace isn’t letting him leave his home. She isn’t letting him leave her.
Traveling the path in reverse, I stop by a smaller one that veers off to the left. People often venture off the designated hikes despite the warnings. Still, less worn, less traveled paths exist, and something tells me to start down this one.
“Simon,” I call out again, my heart beginning to race. The climb is steeper here, the path narrow, almost a divot in the earth. A stream might have run here at one point, water trickling down from the snow caps, making its own way down to the larger river.
“Simon,” I holler one more time before I hear rustling. The crack of a twig. The shuffling of leaves.
And then a small boy of ten, with dark hair and crooked glasses on his nose, steps into sight.
“Stone.” His voice is small as he hugs his backpack to his chest. His face is dirty.
I rush forward, picking him up and tugging him to my chest before remembering I should check for injuries. My hands shake as I set him on his feet and examine his face.
“Are you hurt? Tell me where it hurts.”
He shakes his head, and I comb my fingers through his hair. He looks so much like Judd did at this age, it’s almost uncanny.
“What are you doing out here, buddy?” I ask.
He shrugs, keeping his gaze lowered and his backpack against his chest.
“A lot of people worried about you. Grandma Trudy and Judd.” I softly say, keeping my hand gently on the back of his head. “Aunt Taxi.”
His head lifts. “They don’t want me.” His voice cracks.
“That’s not true,” I say, feeling like I’ve taken a spike to the chest.
“She said it.”
I nod, not willing to argue with him. I don’t want to tell him he heard wrong. He heard what he heard. He might have misinterpreted what he heard or only heard half the conversation.
“I don’t think she meant it the way it might have sounded,” I state, knowing that Taxi’s already told me what happened. A misunderstanding. A fight that wasn’t for little ears. Especially for little ears that have an anxiety complex.
He’s in therapy for it. And maybe a little family therapy wouldn’t hurt.
I didn’t have the luxury as a kid. Couldn’t afford it for my siblings either. But we take therapy seriously now. There are so many benefits.
And I want Simon to have every benefit.
Simon doesn’t argue back with me. Instead, he pushes at his glasses like Judd sometimes does, imitating his role model. “I broke my glasses.”
I chuckle softly, squeezing gently at the back of his head. “We’ll get you some new ones.”
Simon nods. Might be Judd who does it. Might be Trudy. Might even be Taxi. But Simon has a number of people watching out for him.
“A lot of people love you, Simon.”
A tear leaks from one of his eyes.
“Ready to go home?”
He shrugs.
“We could hang out here a while longer if you want.” I don’t need to rush him. He’s safe and whole. A bit dirty and with broken glasses, but he looks relatively unscathed.
He tilts his head like he’s thinking about it. We could linger in the woods. Take a walk. But I imagine his legs are tired.
“How’d you get out here anyway?” I glance around us, emphasizing I’m not in a hurry.
“I walked.” So direct. So innocent.
“Yeah, but how did you get up here?”
“Judd brought me here once. Said he comes here to think sometimes.”
News to me, as Judd has a whole pond in his backyard and woods surrounding it. His house is relatively hidden in nature.
“He said coming here brings him closer to his mom.”
Fuck. My eyes prickle. Judd was exceptionally close to our mother and at the tender age of eight or ten or something like that when she passed away. No older than Simon is right now.
“Do you miss your mom?” I ask, before remembering that Simon doesn’t recollect her. “What about your dad?”
He shakes his head and I’m confused.
“Judd says Violet is always listening when he’s troubled. I thought maybe she’d listen to me, too.”
Violet. My mother. I pull Simon to me again, placing our foreheads together.
“Buddy, you ever want to talk to Violet, you don’t need to go into the woods to find her.”
Mama is always listening, watching over us, and taking on anyone else we bring into this family.
And I’d like Simon to be part of mine. He already is in some ways because of Judd.
Maybe he could be even closer because of Taxi.
“I got lost,” he admits, and I pull back, chuckling a little bit.
“What do you think Violet was going to tell you?”
He pauses a second, tilting his head again. Terms like ‘precarious’ and ‘precocious’ are often used to describe Simon. He’s giving me a look that fits the words.
“I think she’d tell me to go home.”
I purse my lips. “Sounds like a plan.” Slowly, I rise from crouching in front of him.
“Ready?” I hold out my hand for him.
“What do you think Violet would say to you?” he asks, going for a sucker punch.
I hope she’d say she was proud of me. That she knows I did the best I could. That I didn’t screw up too much.
I chuckle softly, swallow thickly.
But what would Mama have said if I ran away? She’d probably have laughed, telling me to be home before supper, and invite Cort to stay, too. For a second, I think I hear a laugh. A familiar tinkling sound. Something carefree and easy.
Then I decide it was only the breeze playing tricks on me. And I tell Simon what I hope my mother would think.
“She’s proud of me. You’re doing the best you can. And people love you, no matter what.”
He stares at me. Maybe I got a little too deep there. I clear my throat, preparing to go with my other thought.
“I don’t want to disappoint anyone,” he admits. “And I am trying real hard to be good for Trudy and do well in school.”
I lower back to his level. “You’re doing amazing, buddy.” He’s a great student from what I’ve heard, and he is a good kid.
“I don’t want Trudy to send me away.”
“No one is sending you anywhere,” I tell him, gripping his shoulders and jostling him a little bit.
“The only place you’re going is home, okay? Back to Trudy. Back to everyone who loves you. We’ve missed you these past few hours.”
He glances up at me, through the broken lens. “I was only right here.”
I chuckle. “Only right here,” I repeat, bringing him back to me and hugging him once more, before holding him at arm’s length.
“How about we get out of here now?”
“Sounds like a plan.” He takes my hand, and relief washes over me.
Maybe Violet . . . Mama . . . had been in these woods after all, watching over this boy who is so special to so many.
Thank you, I mouth to the treetops before leading Simon to my truck.
And the first call I make as I get back in the truck is to Taxi.