Chapter 16 #2
I rubbed a hand down my face. “She wasn’t lying. He’s not good. He’s pretty far advanced with the Alzheimer’s. He sleeps most of the day and wanders a lot at night when he starts sundowning.”
“Is he here?”
“Fuck no,” I said with a harsh laugh. “I wouldn’t be able to find the fucker if he wandered off. I’m paying a friend to stay with him while his wife is overseas.”
“What friend? You don’t have any friends that aren’t my friends.” He actually sounded hurt.
Bowing my head, I shrugged and fiddled with a loose thread on my sweatshirt. “I have friends now. You know how the Glaciers are doing that whole…play hockey with the blind guys thing?”
He scoffed. “Yeah. They tried that with the Titans and us, but Ben told them to eat a dick.”
If it had been three months ago, I would have been seething with jealousy, but I wasn’t now. Everything was different since the whole circus brought me Alexio.
“I’ve gotten to know some of the Glaciers. Uh…Alexio Zeki—”
“That dickhead D-man?”
“He’s not that bad,” I said quickly. “I mean, okay, yeah, he’s a dickhead. But you’d probably like him. And Ivan Maximov.”
“Oh. That dude’s a whole bag of cats. A bag of wet cats.”
“He’s sweet,” I defended. I wasn’t going to let Micah talk shit about Vanya. “You should meet him.”
“Fucking pass.”
My brows dipped. “What is your problem, dude? And don’t say it’s about Dad because you haven’t done anything to help me with him, so I know none of that is on your shoulders.”
“Yeah, because he doesn’t fucking deserve jack shit from me,” Micah spat. “He let Mom make our lives a living hell, and you’re out here frolicking in fields with him and shit—”
“I’ve been killing myself trying to find a fucking facility to put him in because instead of getting him treatment, Mom dumped him in an apartment in the middle of the city and chose to forget he existed!” I fired back.
“And? I mean, he wouldn’t have lifted a finger if she’d done the same thing to us. He wanted to fucking sell you on the internet to some rich, childless cult members because you were blind.”
I couldn’t really argue there, though I doubted they would have been cult members. But still. Micah wasn’t wrong. My dad had wanted to give me up.
I swallowed heavily. “He’s a person. He’s sick. I’m not tripping over myself to coddle him, but…fuck, man. Everyone deserves dignity in the end.”
He was dead silent.
“Whatever, it doesn’t matter. I just wanted you to know what was going on. And that I—” The words died in my throat.
“What?”
I took a breath. “I’m…I…” Fuck, why was this so hard? Micah was gay. He wasn’t going to care that I was bisexual. He’d probably guessed before I did, just like everyone else. My exhale shuddered.
“What is it?” he asked, softer this time.
I passed a hand down my face and groaned. “I like guys. A guy. I’ve…I mean…I touched a butt—and a penis. I liked it.”
He made a soft choking noise. “Serious?”
“Yeah, uh… I’m serious. The relationship isn’t. Well, I don’t think. It’s all very confusing, and it happened at the worst possible time.”
“I’d fucking say so,” he said with a harsh laugh, and then he stopped and touched my knee. “Jonah, are you okay? I mean, with not being straight?”
I smiled to myself and put my hand over his. “Yeah, I am. I was probably the only one who actually believed I didn’t like dudes.”
“Well…”
“Don’t rub it in, okay? I’m bi. I don’t think I actually care about gender or whatever. I just never let myself think too hard about it.”
“Too many pucks to the face. Scrambled your brains.”
I set his hand over mine and flipped him off, and he burst into laughter. “Seriously, fuck you. But, um…after I talk to him—after I figure out what the fuck this all is—maybe you can meet him.”
“Is it Maximov?”
“Jesus! I really want people to stop asking me that. Vanya is my friend. My non-sex friend.”
“Okay. Fair.” He pulled his hand back and cleared his throat. “And about Dad. Did you find something for him? Do you need my help?”
“I think we found a place. I got medical power of attorney so I can handle all his care and get him situated where he won’t, you know, hurt himself or anyone else. He’s been kind of an asshole when he’s lucid. He asks about Caleb a lot.”
“He fucking would,” Micah said, not even trying to hide the bitterness from his tone.
I had nothing to say to that. “I just wanted you to know what was going on. And to check on you, because everyone’s worried about how you’re doing.”
“I’m fine,” he snapped. He was defensive, and I always knew when something was going on. But I also knew that he wasn’t going to tell me. Micah was a stubborn bastard and would not be pushed.
“I know you’re not, but I’ll let it go so long as you promise me you’re safe. And not in danger, or you don’t owe some mobster money, or…”
“Fuck off.” He laughed, trailing off with a sigh. “I don’t owe anyone money, and I’m not in physical danger. I just…it’s whatever. It’s a thing, and I’m handling it, and it’s fine.”
He really, really didn’t sound like he was telling the truth. “Promise me you’ll talk to me, okay? Whatever it is?”
There was a long pause, and then he sighed. “Look, I should go. But, uh…I’ll text Hugo this weekend and see if maybe we wants to do a barbeque thing at his place. We can hang out. You can invite some of the new boys, eh? And your new one?”
My spine stiffened. I had no idea if Alexio would go for something like that. But it was worth a try. “Yeah. That could be nice.”
“And, uh…and if you need help with Dad…”
“No.”
He let out a heavy breath. “I know I’ve been a shithead, but he’s my dad too. I can share this with you, okay?”
“I could probably use help packing up all his shit once we get the approval for his residency,” I finally admitted. “That…that could be nice.”
The couch shifted as Micah leaned over, and he cupped the side of my neck. “I’m sorry for being a fuck stick.”
I burst into laughter and shoved him back. “You’re always a fuck stick. Don’t change now.”
Micah got up, and I followed him to the door, my steps shuffling along the floor behind his. I waited for him to grab his cane before asking, “Did you call a car?”
“Nah. I called Ford since I knew he was in town. I’ve been kind of avoiding everyone, so I think I need to do some rounds of apologies.”
I wasn’t sure if he should yet, considering he wasn’t even sharing what his problem was, but I also wasn’t going to stop him. Micah wasn’t exactly the apologize-first type of guy, so this was progress.
“I’ll text you soon, okay?”
“Yeah.” He opened the door and took a step out, and then we both froze as he inhaled deeply. “Jesus, what is that smell? Brut?”
It was. It fucking was. I mean, it couldn’t be because he wasn’t due in until late tomorrow, but what other guy was wearing this garbage anymore?
I waited for Alexio to say anything. To do anything.
But maybe I was wrong. Maybe he wasn’t there.
Maybe he overheard me and Micah talking while the door was closed, and he thought I was with someone and left.
My guts twisted.
“Tell your neighbor he smells like eighty-year-old ass,” Micah said, then stepped out into the hall and shut the door.
I collapsed against it, my forehead resting on the wood, and I took a deep breath. I could still smell it. And, although it was impossible, I thought maybe I could sense him. But I wasn’t fucking Spider-Man or whatever.
I wasn’t a superhero.
And I wasn’t that lucky.
Turning away, I started back toward the living room, but before my fingers touched the corner of the wall, I heard it.
The softest, most gentle knock.