Chapter 23
We’d woken up early, had a quick breakfast of oatmeal, then we were picked up by Archer’s Uncle. I’d barely had time to marvel over any of the many pictures of him as a child, or his mother, scattered around the house. We’d get to that later.
I sat in the back seat of Tad’s truck in a cozy parka Archer had given me, gazing out the window at the snow hugging tree branches and buildings. There was probably six slushy inches of the stuff on the ground. I’d seen it before in Northern Arizona, but it was different here, heavier. There were more oak trees here than pine trees, and even maples, and the houses had siding and brick instead of stucco. Everything here was built to handle rain and the cold while back home, it was built to handle harsh sunlight and heat. All the houses had high pitched roofs and shingles instead of flat roofs.
Tad parked the truck in the lot outside the hospital and the structure loomed in front of us, a tall, sprawling building made of clay-colored brick. “Hey, Leo, Lake Superior is just a few blocks over. Maybe you and Archer can go have a look when it warms up later?” He stepped out of his truck.
“Sure, that would be cool.” It might take Archer’s mind off things, too. I climbed out of the truck and grabbed Archer’s hand as we followed his uncle up the shoveled walkway to the building, little mounds of snow lining the side of it. Archer had been quiet all morning. It was probably hitting him that the whole thing was real.
We strolled inside a set of sliding doors and Tad waved at a woman sitting at the reception desk.
“He’s in the cardiac unit on the third floor,” Tad said, pushing a call button on an elevator.
Archer nodded and held my hand tighter.
I leaned over and in his ear, whispered, “You okay, babe?” If I could wrap him up and shield him from it all, I would.
Pursing his lips, he nodded.
The elevator doors slid open, and we walked down a cream-colored hallway. I peeked inside a room. They’d taken a cue from the building color and had painted the walls inside the rooms an orange-clay color. Sort of reminded me of home.
Tad glanced behind himself at us, then ticked his head at a room and ducked inside it.
“Fuck.” Archer hooked his arm around my waist.
“I’m right here. I’ve got you, baby.” I draped my arm over his shoulders, and we crept into the room.
Archer’s dad was lying in the hospital bed, his short, dark hair flecked with gray at the temples. A ventilator covered his face and tubes and wires wound from under the sheets and attached to the monitors at the wall.
“Hey, Sam, Archer is here.” Tad wiggled his arm.
“Dad?” Archer croaked out, leaving my side, and ambling to the rail on the side of the bed. “Hey, Dad.” Archer smoothed his dad’s hair back off his forehead and leaned over him.
Fuck, if I saw my dad like this, I’d totally lose my shit. I edged up behind Archer.
Sam’s blue eyes fluttered open, then slowly swung toward Archer.
“He can’t talk, but he sees you. They have him sedated. The nurse told me it keeps him comfortable with all that shit they put on him.” Tad shook his head. “It’s got to suck.”
“Take his hand, babe.” I moved Archer’s hand over his father’s, resting on the bed.
Sam’s gaze crawled to mine.
“Hi, Mr. Carlson. I’m Leo, Archer’s boyfriend. I’m pleased to meet you, sir.” I winced. Okay, what was that? It sounded like we were at a formal dinner for fuck sakes.
Sam ticked his brow.
Did he understand me? I inhaled deeply. I was going to keep my mouth shut and let Archer do the talking. I hung my hand on Archer’s hip. “Talk to him, babe.”
“Dad, I’m sorry for our last conversation on the phone.” His breath hitched. “I love you, Dad, and I’ll be here when you wake up.”
Sam squeezed Archer’s hand and his eyes grew glossy.
“Oh shit, he heard me. He understands.” Archer sniffled and swiped at his eyes.
“Ssh, this is good, right? A good sign.” I hugged Archer into my front.
“Okay everyone, time to get him into surgery.” A woman with dark skin and a cheery smile entered the room in pink scrubs. “Hello, Tad. Who have we here?” She faced me and Archer.
“I’m Sam’s son, Archer.” He twisted in my hold. “And this is Leo, my boyfriend.”
She lifted her chin. “Ah, the hockey player.” She looked me up and down. “And my, what a handsome pair you make.” She wound her way to the other side of the bed. “My name is Jada and I’ll be your dad’s nurse today.” She checked the monitors. “We have some people coming in to take your dad into surgery, so it’s best if you all go into the waiting room now.”
“Sure. Thanks, Jada.” Tad waved at us. “Come on, boys.”
We followed Tad out of the room, down a short hallway, past the nurse’s station, and to a room with blue chairs and couches lined up in front of a window looking out toward the lake. A television droned on with the news, hanging on a wall.
“Look there’s Lake Superior.” Tad strolled to the large, picture window and pointed.
It was like he wanted to distract us. Probably a good thing. I led Archer to the window, my gaze taking in the water behind the rooftops, white caps twinkling in the distance. “Holy shit, it looks like the ocean. I can’t see the other side.”
“Yep, it’s that big.” Tad patted Archer’s arm, then took a seat on a couch, bending forward and resting his elbows on his knees. “Archer, when you’re ready, I have something for you.” He slid a folded and tattered envelope out of his jacket pocket.
“What’s that?” Pointing at the envelope, Archer dropped into a couch across from Tad.
I sank in next to Archer and watched them both. This was important and I didn’t want to interrupt.
“It’s a letter from your father. There’s something you should know, and he thought it would be easier to explain it this way.” Tad shrugged. “He thought you two wouldn’t get into an argument as easily over it, I guess.” He handed it to Archer over a small coffee table resting between us.
Archer flipped the envelope over and over, inspecting it. “Okay. When did he write this?”
“Right after you left him that message a few weeks ago.” Tad rubbed his jaw. “He figured he’d wait until you were here for Christmas to give it to you, but then when he had the heart attack, I figured I’d be the one to give it to you.” He breathed in deeply. “Stress is bad for your father right now, so I’ve decided to handle this for him.” He ticked his head toward the envelope. “It’s important you know this now.”
“What the hell is in this?” With his brows furrowing, Archer held up the envelope.
I flung my arm over the couch behind Archer. Whatever it was, I had a feeling he might need me when he read it.
“Read it. It’s time.” Tad sat back into the couch cushions and folded his hands over his belly, his gaze flicking from me to Archer.
“Okay.” He opened the envelope and slid a handwritten letter out. As he read it, his lips parted, then his eyes widened, and his breath hitched. “Holy fuck.” He lifted the back of his hand to cover his mouth. “Holy fuck.” He shook his head. “I-I can’t believe it. Is this real?” As his eyes glistened in the gray light from the window, he stared at Tad.
“It’s real.” Tad nodded, then drew his attention to me.
“Can I see it?” I leaned in close to Archer. Whatever this was, it was upsetting him.
Archer handed me the letter, then twisted into my side, placing his hand on my shoulder, and turning his head to look behind me, his jaw clenching.
I held the letter in front of me.
Dear Archer,
I thought the best way to tell you this was to be direct and write it down, so the details wouldn’t be lost in an argument. Richard Dupont is your biological father. There, I’ve said it. Your mother had an affair with him that spanned years. I was unable to give her children, so when she got pregnant with you, we decided I’d raise you as my own.
Richard was already playing in the minor leagues and pursuing a career in the NHL when we found out about the pregnancy. Although he knew about you, he didn’t have time to raise a child, so it worked out for him as well when I agreed to raise you. He always watched your progress in hockey, and I’m not surprised he’s giving you this opportunity with the Coyotes. Please don’t misunderstand me. I’m not saying the reason you’re getting this opportunity is because he’s your biological father. You’re a good player in your own right. I suppose I always knew I’d lose you to him. The pull of athletics was strong in your mom, and in you, and I couldn’t compete. Maybe it was jealousy that drove me to behave the way I have. I don’t know. I do know that I love you.
Dad.
I stared at the letter and blinked a few times. “Oh my God.” I set it on the coffee table, wound my arms around Archer and drew him into me, kissing the side of his head. “Are you all right?” My heart ached for him.
He sniffled and reared up, then swiped at his eyes, leaving wet lashes. “I don’t know.” He shifted in my arms to face Tad. “I have so many questions, I’m not even sure where to start.”
“Well, we have a few hours.” Tad rose up, then rounded the coffee table to sit beside Archer. “I always knew. I guess you could say I was your dad’s sounding block. I mean, we are brothers.” Wrinkling his brows, Tad placed his hand on Archer’s shoulder. “I wanted him to tell you sooner, but he was afraid.”
“Of what? That I’d pursue my dream of playing hockey?” Archer balled his hands into fists and through clenched teeth, he said, “Do you have any idea how much I doubted myself because of things he’d say after I lost a game?”
Nodding, Tad said, “Yeah, but I think he didn’t want you to get your hopes up too high and then have them dashed. I believe his thinking was flawed, and I told him that multiple times. But he figured if you knew about Richard and you failed, it would be that much harder. I mean, if your dad’s an NHL player turned coach, and you don’t get past the NCAA, what does that say?”
“It says I tried. It says I did my best,” he snarled. “Fuck, maybe I would have put in for the draft when I graduated high school or when I was in juniors. Maybe I would have looked at my hockey career a whole lot differently.” He glared at his uncle. “Maybe I would have had chances that other guys didn’t.”
“Hey, but you’ve got the chance now. You’d still have gone to ASU with your friends, even if you’d gotten drafted to a team, right?” I squeezed his shoulders. I had no idea if I was saying the right things. I didn’t know what it was like to be in his shoes. But I had to try. I didn’t want him to lose his father over this. Especially when they needed each other so badly.
His body relaxed and in a small voice, he said to his uncle, “Does Coach Dupont know you’re telling me this today? Does he know about Dad’s condition?”
“No, I haven’t talked to him.” Tad pressed his lips into a grim line. “I think your dad called him after you left the message about him. I think he warned him.”
“About what?” Archer threw a glare at Tad.
“He wanted to be sure the offer he was giving you was because you earned it.” Tad hung his head and rubbed his temple. “Fuck, this is harder than I thought.”
“So, did I earn it? Or am I being given this chance because I’m the coach’s son?” Archer fisted his hands again.
“I…” Tad puffed out a breath. “I don’t know.”
“I’m sure you earned it, babe.” I attempted to pull him close, but he resisted. “Archer. Hey.” I jiggled him.
He jumped up and strode to the window, his hands opening and closing. “Fuck!” He stomped his foot, then twisted around, his gaze hard. “I’m shit. I’m a nobody and all this time I thought maybe I had a chance.” His eyes glittered under the fluorescent lights. “I’m not going to the fucking camp, even if he invites me.”
“Don’t say that.” I jogged to him and made to grab his arm.
He yanked away from me and paced across the room. “I don’t know what to believe anymore, Leo. Am I good enough for the NHL or am I fooling myself?” He stopped across the room and glared at me.
Holy shit, I needed Jonah here. Jonah would understand this a thousand times better than me. “You’re good enough. Your coach even said so, right? You’re getting more ice time.” I strode to him and poking him in the chest, I said, “You know, right here, you’ve been playing the best hockey you’ve ever played. You know when you focus and work hard, you make plays happen. You keep the puck away from Ace. You. Make. It. Happen.” I gazed deeply into his stricken eyes.
His lower lip trembled, then he threw his arms around my neck. “Thank you, Leo.” He sniffed. “Fuck, I’m a mess.”
“I know, but I’m right here. Go ahead and be a mess. You deserve to lose your shit if you need to.” I held him tightly, my hands clutching at the back of his puffy jacket. I’d call Jonah later. He’d be able to help me help Archer.
Archer’s breath hitched and he freed a strangled sob, then he calmed and slumped against me.
“Babe, you okay?” I kissed his hair. There was still so much to unpack in this situation, still so many unanswered questions. We had to have a plan of attack and then I could execute it and take away his pain.
“Yeah, I’m okay.” He lifted up out of my hold, rubbed his nose, then wormed his way out of his jacket, exposing the cream sweater he’d put on this morning. “We’re staying, so I guess we can lose the coats.”
“Yeah.” I’d already unzipped mine, but even inside it still felt cold to me. “I might uh, leave mine on.”
He patted my shoulder and gave me a quick, thin-lipped grin. “My Arizona boy.”
With a chuckle, I brushed my hand down the back of my hair. “Yep, thin blood.” I roamed my gaze to Tad, studying us.
“Tad, I have some questions.” Archer took up his seat on the couch across from Tad.