Chapter 7
“I’m a virgin.” I don’t know why I say it. The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them. “I’ve never done… any of this.”
Hawk studies me. His eyebrows lift. “That so? Could’ve fooled me,” he says. “The way you were working that cock, I thought you were a regular.”
“First time here,” I mumble to the floor.
“Really? This your glory hole cherry?”
“Yeah.”
Hawk lets out a low whistle. “Hell of a debut, man.” He leans against the wall. “I stop by once in a while. When the itch gets bad enough. Either here or Lumen.”
“Lumen?”
“Sauna on the outskirts of town. Men only.” He grins. “Bit more civilized than this place. But sometimes you just want the grit, you know?”
I don’t know. But I’m nodding anyway. As if this is a normal conversation I’m having on my knees, pants around my ankles.
Hawk tucks himself back into his sweats.
“Look, if this is all new to you, and you guys are having a…” He glances at Jace.
“Moment, then I’ll back off. You two figure your shit out.
It was fun, though. Real fun.” He’s about to push past Jace and leave, and for some reason, that’s the last thing I want.
“Wait,” I blurt out.
Hawk pauses.
“Ass,” I hear myself say.
“Excuse me?”
“You asked which hole. That’s my answer.”
Jace makes a choked sound. Hawk’s eyebrows climb. He looks from me to Jace, then back to me.
“You sure about that?” Hawk asks. “You saw the size of me.”
“Yeah, Luca. Are you sure about that?” Jace’s voice is strangled. He’s staring at me like he’s never seen me before. Like I’m a stranger. Which, I guess, I am right now. At least this version of me.
“I’m sure.”
“What the fuck,” Jace breathes. “You can’t be serious.”
“I am.” My voice is steady. It surprises me. “Haven’t you always told me to try new things?”
Jace has no answer for that. Because he has. It’s been his mission statement for our entire friendship: get Luca out of his shell. Well, I’m about as far out of my shell as a person can get.
Hawk claps his hands together. “Well, all right then. Someone’s feeling adventurous.” He drops onto the bench, back against the wall, and spreads his knees. He looks at me with a patience that doesn’t match what’s straining against his sweats.
“Take your pants off. All the way. Then come here.”
My hands tremble as I shove my jeans and briefs down, kicking them off into the corner with Hawk’s shirt.
Then I pull my T-shirt over my head and toss it on the pile.
Naked. Except for my sneakers. Completely naked in front of two men.
One of them my best friend, who looks like he’s about to pass out.
I shiver, but not from cold. My cock juts out, embarrassingly hard, pointing straight at the man I’m about to let fuck me.
Hawk hooks his thumbs into the waistband of his sweats and shoves them down his thighs. There it is again. That weapon of a cock. Thick as my wrist, glistening at the tip, with a pair of heavy balls to match. It rests against a dense patch of dark hair, the shaft veined and ridged.
He’s right. He’s way too big. Especially for a first-timer. There’s no way that thing fits inside me. Not without tearing me open. But the thought of being stretched around that monster makes my hole clench in anticipation.
This is what I was missing with girls. This ache.
This hunger. This desperate, bone-deep need that no amount of Cassidys could ever scratch.
I was trying to force a square peg into a round hole this whole time.
It was the wrong fit. In fact, I’m not the peg at all. I’m the hole. And I want to be filled.
I climb onto him. My back against his chest, his thighs bracketing mine, my bare ass settling against the hard ridge of him.
His skin radiates heat. I can feel the steady thump of his heart against my spine.
His cock presses into the crack of my ass, nestled between my cheeks, running the entire length and then some.
It’s in this position that I look at Jace.
Completely exposed, laid bare in Hawk’s arms, legs open, dick on full display.
Jace hasn’t moved. He’s standing there, mouth slightly open.
I can’t tell if he’s pissed, confused, or a little proud that for the first time, I’m the one being reckless without him having to drag me into it.
Hawk reaches past me to the dispenser on the wall. Pumps a thick glob of lube into his palm. Cherry. Chemically sweet. His hand slides between us, slick fingers tracing down the seam of my ass. He circles my hole with one finger, slow, spreading the lube, then presses. Testing the resistance.
When his finger breaches me, I gasp. My head falls back against Hawk’s shoulder. It doesn’t hurt. It feels… full. Warm. A pressure that radiates outward and makes my toes curl. Maybe because his tongue already did the work. Or maybe because I want it so badly.
He works me open. One finger. Then two. Scissoring, stretching, knuckles pushing deep. I’m panting, my hips rocking against him, chasing that feeling. His other hand comes around to grip my cock. A calloused thumb smears the precum all over the head.
“Tight as a drum,” Hawk murmurs against my ear. “Gonna be a snug fit.” He nips at my earlobe. “You still want this?”
I nod, a breathy “yes” escaping my lips.
“Louder.”
“Yes,” I say, my eyes locked on Jace. “I want it.”
Jace flinches. I watch him swallow, the muscles in his throat working. His fingers twitch at his sides, like he doesn’t know what to do with them. I can’t tell what’s going on in his head right now. All I know is he can’t look away.
A third finger pushes in alongside the other two. This one’s a stretch. A burn that borders on pain but settles into a deep, pulsing ache. I grunt, my whole body going rigid.
“Shh. Relax. Push back against me.” Hawk’s free hand slides up my chest, fingers finding a nipple and pinching. “Breathe.”
I do what he says. Bear down, and the resistance melts. Three fingers now, pumping in and out, twisting, spreading. The sounds are wet. Lewd. The cheap cherry scent feels too sweet for what we’re doing here.
“There you go. Good boy. You’re opening up real nice.”
My nipple is still between his thumb and forefinger, rolling, tugging, sending sparks straight to my cock.
I’m so hard it aches. A drop of precum beads at the tip and rolls down the shaft.
Hawk catches it with his thumb and brings it to my lips.
I open without thinking and suck the salty slickness off his skin.
He pulls his fingers out, and my body protests instantly. A hollow, gaping emptiness that makes me clench around nothing. I whine, a needy sound I didn’t know I could make.
“Easy now,” Hawk soothes. “Got something better for you.”
He reaches past me to the other dispenser. Tears a packet off the strip, rips the foil with his teeth, and rolls the condom down his shaft in one smooth motion. I watch him pump more lube over the latex, slicking himself up with quick, practiced strokes.
It’s the smart move. The safe move. I know that. But some primal part of me wishes I could feel him bare. That big piece of meat pushing into me with nothing between us. Which is insane. I met this man half an hour ago.
Hawk grips my hips with both hands. Big, calloused palms that wrap around me like a vise. He lifts me slightly, adjusting the angle, and I feel the blunt head of his cock nudge against my hole. The pressure is immense.
“Whenever you’re ready,” he says. “You come down on me. Your pace.”
I swallow. My thighs are trembling. Below me, that fat head is pressing against my entrance, waiting for me to take the plunge. I push. A little. Just enough to feel the sting. Shit. This is going to hurt. No getting around it.
I look at Jace. His eyes are wide, fixed on where I’m about to be breached. His lips are parted. I can see the frantic pulse beating in his throat.
You brought me here, I think. You dared me to stick my dick through that wall. You wanted me out of my shell. Well, here I am.
I reach down and grip Hawk’s thighs for leverage, my fingers digging into the thick muscle. Then I take a breath and push.
The head pops past the ring of muscle, and a searing burn rips through me. I cry out, back arching against Hawk’s chest. My hole spasms around him, clamping down, trying to force him out.
But I don’t let it. I hold there, sweat beading on my forehead, and wait for the pain to ease.
It doesn’t vanish, but it dulls, fading into a throbbing ache like his fingers gave me, only a thousand times more intense.
Once the stretch settles, I push again. Another inch.
Another moment of adjustment, of breathing through the discomfort.
Eyes closed, I lower myself onto him, one agonizing inch at a time. The lube helps, but it’s still a battle. I push and push until my ass is flush against his hips and his entire, impossible length is buried inside me.
“God,” I gasp. My head is thrown back against Hawk’s shoulder, my body trembling. “God, you’re… you’re in me.”
“All the way, Luca,” he rumbles against my ear. “You took every inch.”
I did. I actually did. I’m full of him. So fucking full I can feel him everywhere. There’s no room left. None. It feels like he’s pressing against every organ, pushing the air from my lungs, rearranging my insides to make space for himself.
I open my eyes. Jace is staring at me. His chest rises and falls in shallow breaths. He has to see it on my face. The shock. The awe. The sheer overload of being filled like this. He has to know I’ve never felt anything close to this. That he’s watching me crack wide open in real time.
Then I see it. The bulge in his sweats. His hand hovers over it, uncertain, before dropping to his side. But he can’t hide it. He’s hard again. Already. The sight of me impaled on another man’s cock has him raring to go.
A smug little smile tugs at my lips. So much for being the straight one. So much for being appalled. Looks like I’m not the only one figuring shit out tonight.
It gives me a rush of confidence. I’ve always been the one following Jace. Into tattoo shops, off cliffs, through the doors of a sex shop. But here, right now, I’m leading the charge. I’m the one being bold.
I lift my hips. Slowly. Hawk’s shaft drags against my walls, every ridge and vein lighting me up. I stop with just the head inside me, then let gravity pull me back down. Too much, too soon. A sharp sting makes me wince.
“Easy.” Hawk’s breath is hot against my neck. “Find the angle.” His arm hooks around my waist, feet planting flat on the floor for leverage. He tilts my hips with one hand. “There. Right fucking there.”
On my next descent, I understand what he means. The new angle drags his cock across a spot that whites out my vision. A sound comes out of me that isn’t human. My cock jerks, untouched, spraying a line of precum across my stomach.
“Fucking found it,” Hawk chuckles. “Now ride that, boy.”
I don’t need to be told twice. I plant my hands on his knees and push up, then slam back down.
Clumsy at first, uncoordinated, my thighs screaming in protest. But my body learns fast. I find a groove that’s less about my legs and more about grinding my hips, swiveling to milk that spot.
Lifting until the tip catches on my rim, then dropping my full weight.
Rising and falling, riding him with a desperation that borders on insanity.
The pain is gone. In its place, a deep, swelling pressure that builds with every thrust. Each drag better than the last, each slap of my ass against Hawk’s thighs more intense than the one before.
I’m a mess. Drooling, babbling, a string of “yes, yes, yes” spilling out of me like my vocabulary has been reduced to a single syllable.
I tilt my head to find Jace. He’s backed up against the door, palms flat against the wood, like he needs it to stay upright.
His eyes are wild, pupils blown wide, locked on my bouncing cock.
His chest heaves. His sweats are tented again, the fabric straining against the hard-on he’s trying so hard to ignore.
“Jace.” My voice is wrecked. Barely recognizable. “Touch yourself.”
He shakes his head. “I can’t.”
“Why not?”
Jace runs a hand through his hair. “Because you’re my friend, man. It’s… you.”
“But you liked it,” I gasp as Hawk drives up into me, nailing that spot. “You liked my mouth on you.”
“Luca…”
“What? Tell me I’m wrong.”
“Fuck.” He drags a hand down his face. “You’re not wrong.”
“So what’s the problem?”
“You know the fucking problem.”
“You two shitting me right now?” Hawk cuts in. He grabs my hips and takes over, driving into me with hard, punishing thrusts that knock the air out of my lungs. My eyes roll back. “This some kind of roleplay you’ve got going on?”
“What? No,” Jace sputters.
“You telling me you’re not together? You’ve even got the same fucking tattoo on your arms.”
“We’re not…” I try to explain, but Hawk slams into me so hard my teeth rattle. “We’re just…” Another thrust. My cock bounces off my stomach. “Oh fuck… friends. We’re just… friends.”
Hawk scoffs. “Friends don’t look at each other the way you two do.
” The wet slap of his balls against my ass echoes off the walls.
“Your guy over there hasn’t taken his eyes off you since he walked in.
And you?” He grabs my jaw and turns my face toward Jace.
“You’ve been putting on a show for him this whole time. Haven’t you?”
I open my mouth to deny it. But nothing comes out.
Because… fuck. He’s right. I love what Hawk is doing to me.
But have I been turning up the volume a little?
Moaning louder than I needed to, arching my back a little more?
Yeah. I have. I wanted to shock Jace. Prove I could be as reckless as him.
And maybe I wanted him jealous too. To see me like this and wonder why he never noticed before.
Jace is trembling. He’s palming himself through his sweats, hips rocking into his own hand in tight, desperate strokes. He’s losing the fight. Losing it bad.
“That’s what I thought.” Hawk chuckles against my neck. “You two want to fuck each other so bad it’s painful to watch.”
Neither of us denies it.
Hawk slows his thrusts to a lazy roll that has me squirming on his lap, trying to get him deeper. He’s torturing me on purpose. He nips at my earlobe. “Go on,” he murmurs. “Tell him what you want.”
I look at Jace. At the sweat on his upper lip. At the pulse hammering in his throat. At the hard-on straining against his sweats. My best friend. The person who knows me better than anyone. And through all the fog and the lust and the noise, one thing cuts through crystal clear.
“Jace.” My voice breaks on his name. “Get your dick out and fuck me.”