Chapter 21
Jude eyed himself in the mirror, considering cancelling on Anton for the hundredth time.
There was no way he was going to be in the mood for partying, but he couldn’t back out.
Anton was too excited and likely wouldn’t go if Jude wasn’t his wingman.
While Anton had been semi-out for years, he’d kept his sexuality hidden from most—except from his closest friends.
He’d exclusively dated women up until his last breakup.
Only then had he stepped fully out of the closet and started exploring his bisexuality—but it was less than a year since that happened.
Anton attending his first gay Halloween party was basically a rite of passage.
No way was Jude taking that away from him, even if he thought the holiday was a bit blown out of proportion. But then, costumes and masks just weren’t his thing. He liked seeing exactly who he was dealing with.
No confusion. No subterfuge.
‘Twas the season, though, and he was dressed as expected.
Jude adjusted his short toga, wishing it was a little bit longer.
It barely covered his ass. There was little he could do and there would be skimpier costumes, considering where they were going, so he shrugged it off.
He heard the door open downstairs and Anton’s big, booted feet coming up.
After adding the fake sword and scabbard to his Roman Centurian costume and snagging the helmet, he walked out of his bedroom and eyed Anton.
Anton’s grin was massive. He held out his hands and spun in a circle, showing off his costume. “Well? You think the guys will like it?”
“You’ll have to beat them off with a stick,” Jude said, eyeing Viking warrior Anton.
“If they’re cute, they can beat their sticks off in me,” Anton said, wagging his eyebrows.
Jude chuckled.
Anton did look particularly menacing, which some guys were seriously going to dig. The braids, face paint, fake axe, and furry outfit coupled with his beefy six-foot-five frame would make him a fan favorite, Jude was sure.
“Ready?” Anton asked.
“Yeah. Let’s go,” Jude said, forcing a smile.
Anton raced down the stairs. He talked a mile a minute all the way to the platform, which was good.
Jude didn’t feel like talking. Once they got to the party, it would be too loud for conversation, which was even better.
The train was just pulling up as they arrived at the station, and they hustled to get on before it left.
Once they’d found their seats, Jude searched the crowd around them, checking out how many others were going out for a night of fun. Folks of all ages were in costumes. It added a level of excitement to the air that normally wasn’t there. Too bad it didn’t boost Jude’s vibe.
They pulled from the station and headed south.
“You’ve been awfully quiet tonight,” Anton said once the train got some speed behind it.
Jude shrugged. “Just a lot on my mind.”
“You said the same thing Sunday. What’s up?”
Jude shrugged. “Before you know it, Thanksgiving’s going to be here. Shop’s going to be super busy.” He eyed a couple of guys dressed in skimpy costumes. Maybe they were going to Paradise, too. “I’ve got a lot to do to get ready.”
“Ah,” Anton said. A few seconds passed before he asked, “What’s Foster doing tonight while you’re out with me?”
Jude hadn’t missed the sarcasm in Anton’s voice. “Dunno. It’s over.”
“Really?” Anton asked, giving Jude a hard stare.
“Yep. You were right. I was playing with fire,” Jude said. “It was well past its expiration date.”
Anton watched him silently for a few seconds. Jude felt like he was under the microscope. From past experience, he knew Anton could likely see much more than he wanted him to.
“Did you want it to be over?”
“Yeah,” Jude lied.
Anton lifted a brow. “Your face is telling me a different story.”
“He was really good in bed,” Jude said. “I miss the dick. Not the man.”
Anton grew quiet again. The click-clack of the train seemed too loud in Jude’s ears. He stared out the window at nothing in particular. He didn’t want Anton to see how much watching Foster leave had affected him.
“I’m glad it’s over. He was just going to cause you pain,” Anton said.
“I’m not talking about it anymore. It’s old news and in the past, okay?”
Anton nodded. “Okay.”
Jude stared out the window yet all he could see was Foster with those big, needy puppy dog eyes sitting on the corner of his bed. Jude hadn’t meant to hurt him. That had never been the plan.
Just like Foster hadn’t meant for him to be hurt.
Sometimes pain was inevitable, no matter how someone tried to protect people from it. It slinked past defenses and slashed through the skin. It left scars that didn’t always fully heal. His hadn’t. His had rotted and ended up a poisoned well—which had ended up tainting Foster with its venom.
He’d thought he was past all of that old trauma. It was nearly fifteen years. He rarely thought about any of that old shit—not until Foster had come back into town and the raw, aching nerve had shown just how exposed it was.
Right after the accidental Foster fuck, Anton had claimed Jude was still bruised. He’d denied it then—but the comment had lingered, circling in his mind in the dead of night, taunting him with the truth.
He needed to move past it. He needed to find a way to heal, before the toxicity destroyed the other relationships in his life. He already had too few as it was. If he lost anyone else, he’d wasn’t sure how he’d manage.
He glanced at Anton. “Sorry I barked at you.”
Anton leaned over and tapped Jude’s elbow with his own. “You’re good.”
“Once I get there and get a drink or two in me, I’ll loosen up. I promise.”
“I certainly hope so,” Anton replied, his gaze searching the others in the car with them.
Jude winced. He needed to get his shit together. When he saw Anton’s long face, he felt even worse. He needed to lighten the tone and the only thing he could think to say was a dumb joke he’d overheard Paulie tell the other cutters earlier in the week.
“Three guys die, and their boyfriends are trying to decide what to do with their ashes. One says, ‘My boyfriend loved nature. I’m going to spread his ashes in the forest so he can be there forever.’ The second one says, ‘My boyfriend was a marine biologist. I’m going to spread him in the ocean so he can swim there forever.
’ And the third says, ‘I’m going to put his in a bowl of chili and eat him. ’
Jude gazed at Anton and saw a hint of a smile on the guy’s lips. “The first two were horrified and asked him why he’s doing that. ‘So he can rip through my ass one last time.’”
Anton snorted, shaking his head. “You’re stupid.”
Jude grinned, happy to see Anton smiling. He just needed to make sure he stayed smiling for the rest of the night.
Paradise was packed. The music was thumping and the energy high.
Jude and Anton hung near the edge of the dance floor, swaying to the music as they checked out the crowd.
He took a swig from his beer and glanced over at Anton.
A good-looking six-plus footer with a moustache, a Stetson, and a barely-there set of chaps and thong was chatting him up.
Good for him.
Jude turned back to people watch, checking out all that bare male flesh on display. The song shifted, and Anton elbowed him. When he turned to look, Anton cocked his head toward the dance floor and pointed to the cowboy, a stupid grin on his face.
“Go,” Jude mouthed before flashing a grin.
Anton gave him a salute before they pushed through the dancers to find a spot.
Jude adjusted his helmet. It had a built-in half mask that covered everything above the tip of his nose, making it a little harder for him to see.
A couple of guys abandoned a small high-top near him, so he grabbed it.
After moving the leftover bottles and glasses, he took off his helmet and set it down.
He ran his fingers through his hair and took a big swig of his beer.
A guy standing with friends at the next table gave him the eye. Jude gave him the once over. A little older, but not too old from the looks of it. He was somewhere between otter and bear, that happy place Jude loved. The guy gave him a clear look of interest.
Good-looking and interested were usually enough for him. The last time he’d come to Paradise, he’d fucked a few guys before he’d left in the wee hours of the morning.
Yet, Jude turned his gaze, avoiding the man’s stare instead—and ended up caught by the gaze of another man.
Another hot guy who signaled interest.
Jude searched the dance floor for Anton and the cowboy, ignoring bachelor number two.
What the hell is wrong with me?
Finding Anton was easy. He stood head and shoulders above most of the men out there. But then he noticed someone just past Anton, standing on the other side of the dance floor. A big guy nearly Anton’s size, with his back to the dance floor.
There was something about him that held Jude’s attention.
A white light amid the colorful ones swept over the guy as it traveled through the club.
Lighter hair? Maybe. Hard to tell with only a splash of white light.
Muscled. Wide shoulders. Narrow waist. Check, check, and check.
Dressed as a football player. Unoriginal, but whatever.
The jersey looked familiar, but it was hard to tell which team in the swirling lights washing over the interior. Southern Jersey guys were often Eagles fans, and if that was the case, that could be an automatic no. The jersey was dark, but it could be Giants blue or Iggles green.
Someone moved out of the way, and Jude read the name on the back, hoping to get a clue about the team.
A chill raced down Jude’s spine.
Price.
No fucking way…
There was no way he and Foster had ended up at the same fucking party all the way down in Asbury Park. Absolutely not.
When the football player turned to the side, Jude tensed.