Chapter 26
Twenty-Six
JADE
Present
I can’t let a repeat of Phoenix happen again. The ride to Dallas was full of work, between Darren and myself we threatened and sweet talked the radio station into a post-show meet and greet. The guys spent most of the time working on the new album or playing video games.
Not that I didn’t feel the weight of Xander’s gaze on me multiple times. It was so hard to pretend I didn’t notice. To act like I wasn’t aware of the sharp claws of his attention dragging along my psyche.
Had he not put my hand on his heart and told me it was mine, I might have let myself get swept away.
But it all reminded me too much of our last night together.
The night that left a permanent scar on my heart.
Yes, it was my idea to not use a condom.
A horrible choice. The consequence of which he does deserve to know if things keep progressing between us.
That was nothing compared to giving him my tender heart, though.
After a lifetime of being left behind by men, first my father, then Mom’s line of husbands and shitty boyfriends, and finally catching my first boyfriend cheating on me very publicly, I thought I had finally found safe harbor in his arms.
That confession of love between us was very real, at least on my end.
I haven’t felt that way about anyone else.
Not that I’ve let things progress to that point to begin with.
That level of joy was addictive, regardless of how short-lived it was.
The one good thing I took from it was a greater level of understanding for my mom.
I get why she’s forever chasing the high of falling in love.
Darren and I go into the lobby to get us all checked in when the bus pulls up to the hotel.
The woman at the front desk tries flirting with him, but he couldn’t be less interested.
Which, come to think of it, is rather interesting.
Most of the time he’s entertaining as many women as Tobias.
Which is to say, a lot of them. But I haven’t noticed any coming and going from his room.
I wonder if he’s preoccupied with keeping a leash on Tobias.
I don’t know the details about what happened over the slight tour break we had, but I know there was something big with Tobias’s family.
Darren ended up driving all the way out to Hemet to pick him up from the county jail and was luckily able to talk everyone down from charges being filed.
Darren takes the keys from the woman without a thank you, so I give her a smile and thank her myself. As I catch back up with him at the front door, he holds my key out to me wordlessly.
“You forget how to speak?” I ask with extra sass.
He grunts and looks over at me. “Huh?”
Normally I wouldn’t let this type of behavior slide, but I’m not in the mood for his shitty mood, so I just lift my hands in surrender and swipe the rest of the key cards from his hand.
I jog up the bus steps and find everyone waiting at the front.
I hand Xander his key first, hoping he’ll head up to his room right away.
Then Tobias gets his. Finally, Hazel and Stone take theirs.
I hear footsteps going down and breathe a sigh of relief when I find myself alone on the bus. I go through and make sure no one forgot anything they might need, not that it’s hard to get back on to grab something, but still, it’s the Capricorn in me.
By time I make it back to the lobby, everyone has dispersed. I can’t wait to get in my room, take off my bra, and rot in bed for the rest of the night. Eighteen hours crammed on a bus with five other people is a lot.
I get on the elevator and hit the button for our floor, relishing the quiet hum of having the small space to myself.
My room is nearly to the end of the hall right next to Hazel and Stone’s suite, which is ideal because that means that Xander is at the other end of the building.
I did that on purpose, so I could keep an eye on Tobias.
I turn when I don’t hear the door close behind me only to find Xander slipping inside behind me. I drop my purse on the closest surface and groan. Somehow, he’s already showered. His golden locks clump together as they air dry.
“What?” I snap.
“We need to talk.” He closes the distance between us in two long strides. “You keep avoiding me, and it’s starting to piss me off.”
“Usually avoidance means someone doesn’t want to deal with you.”
“Tough shit.”
“I had a whole plan for tonight, starting with a shower. I feel gross from the drive.”
He steps back. “By all means, don’t let me stop you.”
I narrow my eyes because there’s no way he’s going to make it that easy to get rid of him. Not when he snuck into my room behind me with ninja-like stealthiness. He moves way too quietly for such a large man.
“You’ll leave?”
He shakes his head and drops onto my bed. “I’ll wait.”
There are really only three options here.
I could waste more precious energy arguing with him but ultimately lose because I know the set of his shoulders means he’s not backing down.
We could just talk now, and I wait to shower when he leaves.
That option is undesirable because I swear I feel a layer of grime growing on my skin from the travel.
Which leaves me with showering while he sprawls across the bed.
“Fine,” I grit out.
His smug gaze follows every single move I make as I root around in my bag for a change of clothes and my toiletry bag.
“You’re a fucking asshole,” I say as I close the door.
His answering chuckle makes me even angrier. I pull the shower door open with more force than probably necessary and turn on the water hot enough to start steaming up the bathroom. My elbow bangs into the wall as I undress.
“You okay?” His concerned voice is on the other side of the door in seconds.
“I’m fine.” I manage to answer him with way less snappiness than I actually feel. “Just hit my arm getting out of my clothes.”
“Well if you need some help with that,” he trails off flirtatiously.
“Absolutely not.”
The fucker laughs again.
I release a deep breath as I hear his footsteps heading back to the bed. Looking at my reflection in the rapidly fogging mirror, I take a minute to calm myself. Whatever he wants to talk about is a long time coming. Maybe we can move forward as colleagues. Or friends even.
I step into the shower, luxuriating in the heat of the water as it turns my skin pink beneath the spray. I let it run through my hair as I pump a bit of shampoo onto my palm and work it into a lather. I work the suds through my strands as a plan for the conversation formulates in mind.
He’s going to want to talk about the downfall of us.
It’s partially my fault that we’re here.
I’m the one who’s held him at arm’s length for years while I’ve worked for the band.
But being on tour with them, on the same bus, with Xander and Stone sober, has been different.
It’s not babysitting them anymore, a deeper bond has been forged.
I can’t rely on the groupies to keep feeding the angry wall I built around myself.
We’ve never spoken about what happened that weekend years ago while I was in Palm Springs with Mom. He doesn’t know my side, just as I don’t know his. But we’ve spent years punishing each other nonetheless.
The bathroom mirror is too fogged up to see to do my skin care routine, so after I button up my pajamas, a very unsexy two-piece silk set in midnight blue, I open the door. Steam puffs out into the hotel room.
“Did you open a portal to hell in here or something?” He fills the doorway, fanning the humid air from his face.
Despite myself, my lips twitch upward. “Yeah, I asked Satan to come pick up his spawn.”
He grips his chest. “You think I’m a prince of hell? I’m flattered.”
I barely suppress a laugh. Annoying fucker.
“Let me finish doing this, and I’ll be out.”
“Okay.” He leans against the door jam.
I turn to him with lifted brows. “You can go now.”
“I’m good.”
He proceeds to watch me with rapt attention as I go through all the steps. Part of me is tempted to pull out my red-light therapy mask, but that would only prolong this conversation and I’m getting hungry.
When there’s nothing left for me to do to stall, I turn to him and shut the light off.
He steps back to let me exit in front of him.
The skin along my back tingles under the weight of his attention.
Part of me wants nothing more than to feel myself wrapped in his arms again.
No matter how many times I try to bury that desire, it always seeps back to the surface.
After our night in LA, it’s only harder to ignore.
So I let pain and anger fill the holes in my resolve. Not to mention the need for us to remain professional. No one would take me seriously if they knew our past, especially since we were step siblings at the time.
I settle onto the bed and realize his scent is already lingering on the sheets.
He watches as I fold my legs into a crisscross position.
A memory of him kissing his way from my ankle to my center flashes into my mind.
By the way his eyes darken, I have to wonder if he didn’t just have the same thought.
Maybe I was wrong about the button up short pajama set.
I wouldn’t consider it sexy, but he always did have a thing for my legs.