Chapter 16
Giavanna sat curled up on the chaise lounge that was placed in front of her window.
She held a cup of tea in her hands, and she was staring out into the yard that she’d seen a million times.
Every day that she woke up, and she was still breathing, Giavanna had a reason to be happy.
But there also always seemed to be reasons for her to be sad.
Five conversations. Five conversations were all it took for Tremaine to ghost her.
They didn’t even make it to a first date.
When she first revealed her diagnosis to him, he swore he was all in.
The flowers were a beautiful gesture and made her feel like she had one more person in her corner. That facade didn’t last long at all.
It wasn’t like she was in love with him but dating and having a companion would make her feel normal.
It might have helped distract her from her troubles, made her feel like she was still desirable even on the days she felt the yuckiest, and those days were plenty.
Aside from losing her hair, chemo was turning her fingernails black.
Giavanna hated it so much that she kept her hands balled into fists most times, so she wouldn’t have to look at them.
Her skin always felt dry and itchy, and she had lost about fifteen pounds; weight that looked good on her and that she had no desire to lose. It was gone.
Brazil was coming by with Unique, and she was looking forward to seeing her.
She just wished there was a magic pill she could take that would make her happy.
Giavanna had no desire to be down around Brazil, but she couldn’t help it.
Faking smiles and lying about being okay was often exhausting.
There were days she was tired of being sad, and there were days she was tired of faking being happy.
Seeing Unique would definitely brighten her day, so it was Giavanna’s hope that Brazil wouldn’t notice her somber mood.
When it came to her, he was observant, however.
She could probably even describe him as attentive, and that was scary.
Brazil was everything she would want in a partner from his looks and personality to his parenting skills and his bank account.
The only bad thing she could say about him was that he was Kera’s baby daddy.
When Brazil’s car pulled into her driveway, she took one last sip of tea and stood to take the mug into the kitchen.
Her next stop was Unique’s room where she grabbed bags of toys and clothes that she’d bought her.
Even though Unique was very young, there were still times that Giavanna cried at night because her house didn’t feel the same without Unique there.
The doorbell rang as she was setting the bags on the couch. When Giavanna opened the door and saw Brazil standing there with a grinning Unique in his arms, a smile a mile wide stretched across her face.
“Oh, my goodness, you are getting so big,” she squealed and reached for Unique. “Why does it feel like I haven’t seen you in forever, and it’s only been a week? What are you feeding her?” She looked over at Brazil.
He scratched at his brow with his pinky nail. “I can tell you what I feed her. I don’t know about my parents. They might have shorty eating chicken and waffles.”
Sitting down, she placed Unique on her lap and sniffed her. “You smell so good. Oh, I miss this smell.” She sighed.
Brazil sat down and watched Giavanna’s interaction with his daughter.
He loved that aside from his mother, Unique had a woman in her life who could take on a maternal role—if she didn’t die.
The thought made his chest tighten. He went back to the day he found her in the yard, and Brazil had to look away.
Maybe it was harsh, but he didn’t give a damn about her being related to Kera.
Kera was never his girl, and he was pretty certain that if the tables were turned, Kera would put that pussy on him without hesitation.
From the day he met Giavanna, she had always been about Unique.
She never tried to get money out of him.
She had never flirted or been inappropriate with him.
Giavanna was genuinely good people. Yes, she was pretty as fuck, but he liked her personality.
It was her kind spirit that made his dick stiffen.
Pulling items out of shopping bags, she began showing Unique the things that she bought her, and Brazil had the urge to pull out his phone. Three pictures had been snapped before Giavanna realized what he was doing, and her eyes widened.
“Brazil, I know you are not taking pictures of me. I don’t have eyebrows. I don’t have eyelashes. I probably look crazy as hell on camera.”
Kissing his teeth, he dismissed her comment. “These pictures are for me and Unique’s eyes only. They’re for memories.”
His words twisted her gut and made her sad and happy at the same time.
It would be nice for Unique to have pictures of her to look at when she got older in the event that Giavanna was no longer around.
There was only one picture of her and Kera, and Giavanna hated that.
After snapping a few more pictures, he put the phone away.
Unique became whiny, and Giavanna got her bottle.
Unique could hold her own bottle, so Giavanna stared down into her face while drifting, rocking her from side to side.
Brazil looked through his phone and let them have their moment.
By the time Unique’s bottle was empty, her eyes were closed, and she was fast asleep.
“How have you been?” Brazil asked in a low tone.
Her shoulder hiked into a half-shrug as she continued looking down at her cousin. Giavanna wasn’t sure she wanted to tell him the truth. The last thing on her mind should have been a man ghosting her. She had bigger fish to fry, but she was human, and she felt a way.
“The guy that sent me the flowers ghosted me.” She chuckled. “My common sense told me I shouldn’t even try to date. Silly me for having hope that something would work out for the better.”
Brazil stared at Giavanna as she stared at his daughter.
He was annoyed. Annoyed that she gave a fuck nigga a chance, and he played in her face.
At first, he told himself that he was going to fall back from being around her so much.
Brazil wanted to do everything he could to keep his feelings from growing, but it wasn’t working.
He could continue to attempt and push his emotions under the rug, or he could just get it off his chest. What was the worst that could happen?
She reject him? He pretty much expected her to.
Life was short. Extremely short. The last thing he wanted was for her to, God forbid die, and he never tell her how he felt.
Brazil’s silence made her finally tear her eyes away from Unique. “What?”
“He did you a favor. Fuck that nigga.”
Giavanna chuckled. “That’s one way to look at it.”
“Bullshit aside, Giavanna. If Kera wasn’t your cousin, could you see yourself with me?”
His question caught her off guard. Giavanna’s throat bounced as she swallowed hard. That was the last thing she ever expected to come out of his mouth. “If she wasn’t my cousin, sure.”
“Respectfully, Giavanna, she’s not here.”
It felt as if her heart skipped a few beats.
Her current dilemma wasn’t one that she wanted.
Kera’s mother wasn’t shit. She wouldn’t even take in her own grandchild, so Giavanna really didn’t care what she thought, but the rest of her family would judge her for sure.
How could they not? To buy herself a little time, Giavanna busied herself with gently easing a sleeping Unique onto the couch.
When she finally had to look at him, her stomach quaked. When he was focused and serious, his sexiness only elevated. “You’re quite literally the perfect man on paper. Any woman would be super lucky to have you, but at the end of the day, I just don’t think it’s cool to cross that line.”
Having to say those words almost physically pained her. Brazil nodded his understanding, and an awkward silence filled the room. Brazil was a great person, and she didn’t want things getting weird between them. After a few minutes, Giavanna pulled her knees to her chest.
“What is it about me that you like?” Her voice was just above a whisper, but he heard her loud and clear.
“The way you are with my daughter. I know there are plenty of good women out here, but I’m damn near certain I’ll never find the woman that will love her more than you do.
Your heart is pure. You never used this situation for a money grab.
You’re beautiful. And when I found you out in the yard that day, and I thought you were dead, my soul left my fucking body. ”
His confession made her breath hitch.
“I could die, though. And most days, I’m far from beautiful. I’m moody and depressed. All I do is cry. I rarely have energy. Dealing with me would be like having two kids damn near. And speaking of kids, I might not be able to have any.”
“I have Unique. That’s enough. I might die, too, one day. So what? You’re beautiful to me, and I gives no fucks about you being moody or depressed. All I hear is excuses. One date. Just one date, and if there’s no chemistry and you don’t rock with me like that, I’ll leave you alone. I swear.”
Chewing on the inside of her cheek helped Giavanna to appear cool and calm on the outside but on the inside, she wanted to scream.
Life could be so cruel, it wasn’t even funny.
Maybe if she went out on a date with him, she’d spend the entire time hating herself and feeling guilty.
If that turned out to be the case, she’d never have the desire to go out with him again.
That was the reasoning she used to try and justify one date with Brazil.
“Okay one date but only if you agree that if we decide not to take it further that it doesn’t get weird between us.”
“Bet.”