Chapter 7
7
GUY ‘FOSTER’
Even though I’m starving, in pain, itchy, and hazy at best, hearing Eve speak is comforting – even if it is about the life story of Matthew Perry. The only time I’ve heard her voice until recently was in my dreams, and I find myself wanting to keep her talking just to remember her. I can’t get enough and didn’t realize how much I’d missed it – her – until now.
‘Pretend you didn’t hear any of that phone call,’ Eve says, touching my hand gently. ‘Jess is overly protective of me because I have horrible taste in men, as you know.’
Offensive.
‘Not that you’re horrible – an unreliable dumbass at times, yes – but I think you being in the condition you’re in sort of confirms that. Anyway, despite us being way in the past, I’m reliving every part, and now Jess has me anxious as all get out.’ She sighs heavily. ‘I also remember why I deleted all your photos from my phone. You’re too easy to look at, even with a tube between your lips. But, in case you can hear me, know we’re staying divorced – I think fate lied to us. I’m just here to make sure you don’t suffer through this on your own with a strange priest offering you up to a God I’m sure you don’t believe in.’
She has no idea how much I appreciate that. A few more chapters of Matthew Perry’s life entertain me, but then the book slams closed.
‘I can’t focus,’ she says. ‘Want to play a game?’
A game I will obviously lose? Sure, Jellybean. If it keeps you here, yes, I do.
She shuffles around, and I wonder what she’s up to.
‘I brought playing cards. Wanna deal?’ she asks with a laugh. ‘I’m kidding. I’ve watched you attempt to shuffle cards, and you’re bad at it when you’re conscious. I’ll deal. Three-card draw. Good luck.’ She deals the cards and then giggles to herself. ‘Ooh, tough hand, mister, I win without even trying. Man, you suck at this game, awake and asleep.’
Shit-talking, is she? It’s hard to listen and not be able to respond. The sounds of her re-dealing bring back so many memories of when we did this together.
‘Oh hey!’ she says excitedly. ‘You won! Three kings and I’ve got zero. Congratulations! Too bad you’re not conscious to see it.’ She laughs. ‘I’ll photo document it,’ she says. After a few silent seconds, she speaks. ‘Perfect! This one’s going on the fridge. Maybe I’ll bring you a prize tomorrow since we didn’t bet anything.’
Please don’t let it be the Britney Spears book. I have nothing against her personally, but now I’m invested in Matthew Perry’s life outside of Friends , and I’m not sure my brain can handle jumping around different stories. I can barely stay in the moment for longer than ten minutes when Eve’s here because the past continues to take over, and I’m starting to like it.
‘How’s he doin’?’ Chelsea’s voice enters the room.
‘Well, he’s not as terrible at poker when he’s asleep, but no conversation or anything.’
‘Bad at motorcycles and poker?’ Chelsea jokes.
How dare she! The poker thing I’ll accept, but I am not bad at motorcycles. I can ride them, build them, flip them (and stay alive), and they pay for anything I want. Plus, it’s fucking fun! Do not criticize my riding ability, woman. To my surprise, I attempt to respond to defend my talent, and a grunt leaves my lips. Machines start beeping like mad.
‘Holy crap!’ Eve exclaims. ‘Did he just try to talk?’
‘Maybe? It almost sounded like I offended him,’ Chelsea says.
I am man fended, Chelsea. My masculinity is on the line here. Is that stupid? Yes, the fuck it is. But I am who I am – best in my industry.
‘Foster?’ Eve says my name, gently touching my cheek. It’s the weirdest sensation I’ve ever felt – like the fuzz of an old TV screen, but just under my skin. A tingling that lasts for longer than the actual touch. A sensation only created by my gorgeous Eve. Well, maybe not ‘my’ Eve. I screwed that up, yet here she is in the worst possible moment of my life. Worried.
‘Foster, honey.’ Chelsea pats my cheek. Her touch doesn’t do the same thing Eve’s does. Interesting.
Focus, Fost.
‘Foster! Are you in there?’ Eve hollers, grabbing my hand.
I immediately clutch hers back. I’m here.
‘Hand squeeze,’ Eve says.
‘Good!’ Chelsea praises.
‘You know what it probably was?’ Eve asks. ‘You said he was bad at motorcycles. That’s forbidden in Foster’s world. He’s the best in the sport, and he knows it. He’d be so mad if I were to say something like “Foster, you suck at riding. I’d bet that was probably your last event. You almost killed yourself! Looks like Jeff will finally be the top dog”.’
Jeff?! This girl. I want to laugh and cry all at once. I grunt again, suddenly very aware of the tube down my throat. I jerk Eve’s hand toward it. I’ll pull this damn thing out myself if I have to.
‘Oh! He’s trying to reach the tube,’ Eve says, yanking my hand back and holding it steadily against her chest.
I have to do something so they know I’m here.
Come on, Fost. Eyes. Open. Open your eyes, dude! Defend. Your. Honor. Your. Title.
‘Can you relax, Foster?’ Chelsea asks calmly.
I feel Eve lean into me, her face brushing against mine as she speaks softly. ‘Dream of winning hands at poker until we can figure this part out, Fost. Maybe I’ll see you soon?’ she says, her voice almost hopeful, which tempts my mind to wander off without her again. It doesn’t take much, that’s for sure.
Five Years Ago
‘You ever played?’ Matty asks as he walks into my place.
Us boys get together for a monthly poker night. Even when we’re on the road, we do this. It’s a nice break from the one thing that connects us all – motocross. Not to mention, no one leaves injured or bleeding. Pissed sometimes, yes. But we get over it.
‘Didn’t Foster tell you? I’m a pro,’ Eve says. ‘I don’t tell a lot of people because how else would I dupe stupid boys who think women are inferior at everything?’ She is sitting to my right, a beer in front of her and my usual poker night buddies are around the table. We all stare her way, our faces blank with her words. My God, I think I just fell in love with her more as she shit-talked my buddies.
Matty glares my way.
‘She’s kidding,’ I assure him.
‘He’s right,’ she says. ‘I’ve never played, but Foster did explain it to me on our way here.’
Laughter erupts around the table. ‘Well, he sucks, so don’t get hopeful that you’re going home with the jackpot, sweetheart.’ Jeff looks proud of himself for slamming me in front of my girlfriend. I’m not that bad. Just a little unlucky.
‘I hope y’all went to the ATM,’ Charlie, a motocross God, teases. ‘My upcoming honeymoon won’t pay for itself, and Fiona wants to go to Fiji.’
‘Fiji, that’ll be cheap,’ I joke. ‘It’s surprising someone would marry you at all.’
Charlie flips me off. ‘You’re the only old maid at this table.’
‘Hey, I brought a date, and I’m younger than you, Grandpa.’
He rolls his eyes, sipping his beer, turning his attention to Jeff and Matty who are explaining the rules to Eve as he deals. She’s cute the way she hides her cards, holding them close to her chest to ensure no one else gets a peek. One by one, we each toss our bets and draw cards face down onto the table and she follows suit, raising the bet by ten bucks.
‘Upping the bar already, eh? Pretty ballsy for a newbie,’ Matty says, dealing draw cards.
Charlie folds.
‘You in or you out, girl?’ Jeff asks.
‘Um…’ She glances at her cards, then her chips, and throws a fifty into the pot.
‘What?’ Jeff groans. ‘Seriously? Your first game ever, and you want to go home broke?’ He matches her bet. ‘I’m not a complainer; might as well hand over your wallet now.’
Eve glances at me. ‘You in or out, princess?’
I laugh. ‘Princess?’
She nods.
‘He’s in,’ Matty says, tossing in a chip. ‘As am I. Read ’em and weep boys – and girl.’ He lays out a straight.
Jeff lays his hand of cards across the table. ‘Fucker. I’ve got three queens.’
‘Loser,’ Matty says with glee.
All eyes are now on Eve and me.
‘Who will it be?’ Jeff asks. ‘Is Foster finally going to win a hand or what?’ He and the guys laugh as they pick on me.
‘Do you really lose every time?’ Eve asks.
‘Not every time.’
‘Once,’ Matty snaps out the truth, ‘he won fifty bucks; one time in years.’
Eve grimaces. ‘That is bad.’
‘Motorcycles are my game, not cards.’
‘This is going to be fun,’ she says.
‘You think you can beat me, don’t you?’ I ask.
She shrugs.
‘Fine, I’ll go first.’ I lay my cards on the table proudly. ‘Full house. Beat that, Jellybean.’
She lays her cards on the table with a playful roll of her eyes. ‘Good thing you’re good at something because you’re right, poker ain’t it, Pumpkin – royal flush, boys.’
Matty stands from the table, nearly knocking all of our beers over, pissed off and running a hand through his hair. ‘Are you fucking kidding me?’
Jeff’s jaw drops. ‘Oh, yeah, “I’ve never played before”,’ he mimics her earlier words in a high voice. ‘You little liar!’ he laughs, staring at the hand that beats us all.
I glance at her, confused, raising an eyebrow.
‘Truthfully,’ she admits, ‘poker was my family’s holiday game. I’ve been playing since I was about five. My dad’s dream was to go pro, but Mom didn’t love the idea of him being in Vegas that often because alcohol always trumped gambling, and mix those two addictions and you can imagine the fallout. However, I do know a rule that you guys forgot.’
‘What’s that?’ Matty asks, still mad.
‘The first rule of a good poker player is to be good at bluffing.’ She doesn’t hesitate to pull the pile of chips her way, obviously eager for the next round. ‘You dummies believed every word I said.’
‘My God, I underestimated you…’ I laugh.
‘She’s scary,’ Matty says, re-dealing the cards.
‘Three hundred dollars,’ Charlie moans an hour later. ‘Fiona is going to kill me.’
‘Well,’ Matty says, pulling on his coat. ‘That was the fastest I’ve ever lost five hundred bucks.’
‘Like you guys wouldn’t be dancing around the damn room if you’d just walked away with thirteen hundred dollars,’ I say, defending the queen of poker.
Eve laughs as she rolls a wad of cash up and stashes it in her purse. ‘You guys act like I robbed you blind. I didn’t plan it.’
Jeff glares her way. ‘I hope you call your dad tonight and tell him you’re the one who should go pro. Girl don’t even need dark glasses to lie. You better watch out,’ he warns me, poking his finger into my chest. ‘She’s dangerous.’
‘Am I invited to the next game night?’ she asks jokingly.
‘No!’ Jeff, Matty, and Charlie all say in unison.