Chapter 12
Celeste
I never thought I’d wear white on my wedding day, because I didn’t think I’d ever even have a wedding day.
Yet here I sit in a vintage off-white jumpsuit I found at Goodwill a few days ago that happened to fit me perfectly.
I had scoured discount stores and online boutiques for something affordable that would still make me feel good to wear, and I lost all hope until I stumbled across this gem.
It’s silky, sleeveless, with a fitted v-neck bodice and belt.
Both the bodice and belt have delicate lace and beading to give it some charm, without looking overdone.
A silky cape is attached to the straps, falling down my back to give the same feel as a bridal train.
The legs of the jumpsuit gently taper out into a flare from the loosely fitted thighs, just short enough to offer a peak at my strappy silver sandals.
I actually love it, this is exactly what I’d want to wear if I were getting married for real.
Tania is fussing with my hair in our shared bathroom at the apartment, twisting it and pinning the slippery strands into an updo that will take a miracle to keep in place.
She’s already plucked my eyebrows and done my makeup with heavy winged eyeliner, while keeping everything else understated to let my eyes pop.
Her face is a mask of worry and concern as she gets me ready for the courthouse.
I’m getting toward my period again, and I’m in some pain, but the new hormones and a dose of pain meds have made it more than tolerable.
“You’re sure you want to do this?”
“I’m getting something out of this too, Nia.
We’re two friends helping each other out, even though it’s not the most conventional way of doing it.
It’s totally fine,” I reassure her, and, to fully own my shit, myself as well.
The way I cracked myself open for him on the way home from family dinner flashes through my mind.
We both seemed equally surprised at how much I told him, considering Tania is the only other person in this world I’ve talked to about my years before meeting her.
It felt both terrifying and freeing to let him in a little like that, another break in the armor I’m slowly starting to peel away around him.
“Just think, now you won’t have me in your hair in your new love nest. I’ll be moving out in the next few days,” I go on.
Gage and I have put it off to try to get to know each other a little more for the past couple of weeks as we went about making the wedding plans.
Everything from choosing flowers to rings has gone smoothly, it’s been almost too easy planning this with him.
All of those important decisions have been agreed upon with no argument, because we seem to want a similar vibe.
We’ll see how cohabitating goes, but the fact that we seem so alike in our tastes makes me more optimistic than I was originally. Tania gives me a reproachful look.
“You say that like it’s a good thing. I’ve loved having you around, Cece.
I missed you so much when you lived in New York.
I just got you back, and now you’re moving out again.
” We watch each other in the mirror as she props her chin on my shoulder, her arms looping around me in a fierce hug.
She’s already dressed and ready in a pretty purple dress, black beaded sandals, and flawless soft makeup.
Her black hair is swept up in a braided bun with a sprig of matching purple flowers in it.
She looks stunning. Her warm brown eyes are soft and suspiciously wet, and dammit now mine are, too.
I missed her so much when I moved, but I thought getting away and trying to go to business school would help me heal.
It didn’t. My life in New York was a roller coaster of barely making ends meet as a temp worker, failing to get into school there, and trying to stay out of trouble.
That didn’t exactly work out, considering how my time there ended in a barroom brawl and an assault charge.
“Cut that out,” I tell her wetly. “You have a beautiful life now, and that should be your focus. It’s not like I’m moving that far away. Besides, I’ll be the one relieved to not have to hear your sex noises now.”
“We are not that loud,” she cries with a laugh.
“Keep telling yourself that, you hussy. Those walls are thin,” I retort with my own laugh.
“You don’t need me anymore, Nia Bia. You have Carlo, your gremlin cats, and the Hernandez crew.
You have Yolanda and her family in Spain.
What you’ve built for yourself is incredible, and you don’t need me lurking around like some ghost from your awful past,” I go on more seriously.
It’s what I’ve wrestled with since I moved in with her, and it feels good to get it out.
Look at me, expressing my feelings with calm words instead of anger. Tania scowls ferociously, though.
“I know it’s your wedding day, and I should be nice, but that was by far the most idiotic, melodramatic thing I’ve ever heard you say, Cece. That’s saying a lot, by the way.”
“Rude,” I mutter.
“Just calling it like I see it. Why the hell would I not want you around? You’re my sister and I adore you, stop being dumb.
” She snorts and starts cracking up. “A ghost from my awful past? You sound like a Bronte sister channeling Heathcliff, for fuck’s sake.
You read that book so many times in high school, so I guess it tracks. That, and your cozy fantasy books.”
“Wuthering Heights is a great book, and the cozy fantasy books are my escape from reality. Anyway, I’m not being dumb.
My point is I don’t want to drag you down with my nonsense when you’ve worked so hard to get yourself to this point.
It’ll be good for me to move out and give you some space.
I still have a lot of work on myself to do.
Maybe then we can figure out how to be sisters without so much drama and upheaval around us, when we’re both in a really good place.
Both of our lives are changing quickly.” I rest my head on hers, where it’s still propped on my shoulder.
Once again, we’re both disastrously tearing up. RIP perfect makeup.
“We’ve come a long way from a couple of scrappy, hellion young girls, haven’t we?
” she whispers. This soft, happy version of my sister makes my heart swell at how much she’s grown.
So many images play out across my mind. Traumatized, grieving, eight year old Tania shaking behind me while our older foster brother slapped me.
The two of us sneaking into movies we weren’t old enough to see without a parent.
I should not have taken her to see Let Me In when she was only eleven, but what did fifteen year old me know? She had nightmares for weeks.
Then I see Tania’s agonized face the first time she visited me in prison, the way her eyes catalogued my features with so much worry.
It had been her being there for me that time, and the role reversal was a lot to process.
We’re trauma bonded, but now that the worst is hopefully over, we can just be sisters from now on as we start our respective new lives.
“Yeah, Nia, we’ve come a long way,” I say, pressing a quick kiss to the top of her head. She nods and stands up behind me again, fussing with more pearly pins before finishing my updo with little sprigs of baby’s breath. Finally, we both touch up our makeup that we messed up with our tears.
“Fake wedding or not, you’re a beautiful bride, Cece,” Tania says a little thickly. “I hope you know what you’re doing.”
“You are well aware that I never know what I’m doing. I’m just going to roll with it, and hope Gage and I come out unscathed and better off. Everyone else involved, too.”
“Let’s go, then,” she chirps, looping her arm through mine and escorting me out of the bathroom. I’m immediately climbed by Tish, with Gomez rubbing against my legs. Black cat hair on a white jumpsuit is the latest fashion statement for brides, what can I say. Tania grabs her bag and roots around.
“I already packed a lint roller, don’t worry,” she says, brandishing it like a trophy.
Carlo comes out of their bedroom adjusting his black tie, not able to help himself in giving Tania an appreciative once over.
He and Wayne are both wearing white short sleeve button downs, the ties, black shorts, and black loafers to sort of act as groomsmen, with Tania obviously acting as my maid of honor.
It’s been a stressful couple of weeks for me and Gage, between all of our normal day to day things and trying to pull this wedding together, in spite of how easily we’ve been agreeing on things.
We’ve somehow managed it, by some miracle.
Our last item on the to-do list had been applying for the marriage license a few days ago, and he picked it up yesterday before his shift at the bar.
“You look so stunning, sweetheart,” he tells Tania, going to her and planting a sweet kiss on her lips. She grins and thanks him before he turns to me and hugs me.
“Let’s go get you married, lady,” he says fondly.
“So you don’t find anything weird about this situation?” Tania asks him. He shrugs lazily.
“Mi sueno, people get married for all sorts of different reasons. Who am I to judge? They’re both consenting and willing adults marrying for practical reasons, I see nothing wrong with that. It happens all of the time.”
“You know, you’re supposed to be on my side in all things, even if you’re right,” Tania shoots back, a twinkle in her eye. They share a smoldering glance that makes me want to give them some privacy, but we need to get going if we’re going to be on time.
“Control yourselves until later, you two,” I tease. “Let’s get to the courthouse before we’re late.”