Twenty
I had no fucking idea what had gone wrong. I knew she’d been nervous when I shouted, and smashed my phone, but somewhere between her house and the clubhouse, that had turned into some kind of cold terror, and it made no sense, because surely to god she knew she was safe with me.
“Tell me what happened.” I glanced at Camille, but she just chewed her lip quietly, leaving me to respond to Reacher’s demand.
“I spent the night at Camille’s, and we uh… were intimate.”
“And she’s now shit-scared of you? The fuck did you do, man?” Reacher jabbed a finger at Ice, shutting him up pretty fast.
“I let you stay because she’s your old lady, but I didn’t give you permission to get involved. Shut it or get out.” Ice folded his arms and then rethought it, and wrapped his arms around Lissa from behind instead.
“It went fine until we noticed the blood.”
Lissa gasped, and turned to check Camille for injuries.
“For fuck’s sake, how can you all look at me like I’m some kind of monster? It was good, okay, until we realised I’d torn a fucking stitch or something. It was my damn blood.”
Ice grimaced and pulled Lissa back into his arms.
“Jesus, man.”
“So how did that become this?”
Lissa cleared her throat. “It was like some kind of extreme trauma response, and she just shut down on us. I’ll deal with that, okay, I’ll help Cammy, but I don’t understand what caused it. Cammy, can you tell me, babe?”
She released her lip from her teeth, wringing her hands together.
“He lost his temper, and it scared me, it uh… it caused a flashback of a bad memory. I’m sorry, it’s my issue not his. He didn’t hurt me.”
What the hell had happened to her that one yelled out curse, and a smashed phone, could send her out of her mind with fear? I had no idea, but I’d fucking find out. Add that to my fucking bucket list.
“Can I just have a minute alone with Camille? Is that okay with you, girl?”
She let out a breath and nodded slowly.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I know I overreacted, and I feel stupid now. It… it was, it wasn’t something I could control.”
Lissa nodded, pulling away from Ice to go to her friend.
“We’re going to talk about this later, babe, and I’m going to help you deal with whatever it was that caused it.”
Camille accepted a hug from Lissa, and then they cleared out of the room, or at least, they moved far enough away that we suddenly had privacy.
“Girl, I’m so sorry. I’d never want to scare you like that. I was freaked out and I lost it, but that was out of character for me, you have to know that. I’m not an aggressive person, I promise.” I was slowly approaching her as I spoke, and she wasn’t retreating anymore. Thank fuck for that.
I didn’t even mind that I’d take a fist to the jaw from Has-Been. I knew he was super protective of women, and I appreciated that fact, especially on behalf of this sweet woman. In a reverse of this situation, I’d have planted my fist firmly in his smug face too.
“Did the doc fix you up?” I blinked, not ready for the change of subject.
“Uh, yeah… can’t say I want to look him in the eye anytime soon, but he fixed me up. The stitches are out now, but apparently one of them got twisted or something, and I dunno… it shouldn’t have happened, but it did. He’s patched me up for now, and sworn me off sex for a few days, but I’m guessing that won’t be a problem right now.”
Cammy
I felt my strength surge inside me when my anger returned. Men! It was always about their dicks!
“Is that all you care about? Getting your damn end away?”
Stitch frowned, and looked around him.
“I feel like someone changed the rules here, and forgot to tell me. What’s going on exactly? Normally a single shouted word, and a brief flash of temper isn’t enough to send a woman catatonic, so I’m guessing there’s something bad in your past, and I triggered a reaction. I’m fucking sorry, and I promise it won’t happen again, girl. So can we talk about that now? Instead of whatever the hell this is?”
“It’s my business, Stitch, but I’m sorry it happened.”
His face fell, and he stepped back from me.
“You regret it? I don’t. I relish every fucking moment we spent together, every second of our intimacy, the talking, the kissing, the sex. All of it. I can’t regret it, and I won’t.”
And then again came the thing we both realised at some point before, and forgot about with all the drama after.
“I have a birth control implant, Stitch, but bareback sex is something people should discuss first. We didn’t, but we should have.”
He looked relieved, and didn’t that just wind me up even more.
“Yeah, don’t worry, you didn’t fucking fertilise me.”
“It was good, Camille, it was so fucking good. We were. I don’t understand what happened after that, but I want to fix it. We were making plans, and I want them, with you. I want to spend every fucking moment I have left with you.”
Oh god, he was back to thinking about death, and that thought sent a ripple of shock through me. If he had limited time, why the hell were we wasting it arguing?
“Promise you won’t yell again, or throw things.”
He lifted his hands. “It’s not my thing, girl, I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry, and I promise I won’t do it again. Can I hold you now? Kinda need to feel you in my arms.”
I nodded and he didn’t waste any time, hauling me tight against him, his arms folding around my back to squeeze me slightly. I slid my arms around his neck, and pressed my face into his throat. I could feel his heart racing, and knew mine was doing the same.
“I want to do the bucket list thing, girl, and I want to do that with you. Will you still help me with that? I have no right to ask, but I really don’t want it unless you’re with me.”
I nodded, without moving away from his neck, instead breathing in his smell, which was a mixture of a leathery sort of smell maybe from his cut, and the faint lingering scent of whatever he’d used, a cologne, or shampoo or something.
He stroked my back gently, his shoulders relaxing the longer we held each other.
“I never want to see you afraid like that again, girl. Do you trust me enough to tell me what other triggers you might have?”
I shook my head, brushing my lips against the warm skin of his throat. I felt rather than heard the low groan he uttered in response.
“Camille, dammit, woman.”
It felt so right to be in his arms, and the earlier panic seemed so bizarre to me now, like it hadn’t really happened, like it hadn’t been real and terrifying at the time.
I lifted my head, and stared into his bright blue eyes, and fell a little deeper into whatever the hell these feelings were. We moved at the same time, our lips crashing together, and tongues surging against each other’s.
“Jesus Christ. Do we still have to stay here?”
“I don’t want to leave her. She was in a real state before, Ice.”
“Well, this isn’t a fucking peepshow, you two. Let’s leave them in peace. If Cammy needs us, all she needs to do is yell.”
We ignored everyone as we kept kissing, and then Stitch winced, and pulled back.
“You okay?”
“Having a raging boner isn’t feeling great for me right now.”
He grinned at me, and I found myself smiling back .
“Stitch, I don’t know what this is between us, but I want it. Every minute of it. Every second. If this is all we get, we’re going to make the most of it.”
He adjusted his jeans, and winced again.
“Jesus… think of non-sexy stuff, uh… fuck me, right now I can’t come up with anything. You’re too fucking sexy, babe.”
I giggled. “Do you want me to get Reacher back? Or Ice? Who’d turn you off the fastest?”
Stitch laughed out loud, and reached for my hand.
“Yeah, that helps. Keep naming people I’d never want to bone.”
I glanced around me. “I don’t really know their names, but uh… let’s see… Oh! Let’s look at your bucket list, we should do something from there. I mean, there’s nothing sexy on there.”
He reached for his pocket and then cursed. Oh right. His phone was in pieces in my bedroom, or at the very least, it wouldn’t work now.