Thirty-one
That one single kiss had been on Ash’s mind all freaking day. Harper said one kiss. Sure, he thought, it’d just be a simple kiss—but Ash had never kissed anyone the way he’d kissed Harper.
He’d never gone to collect wildflowers in the dark for anyone.
He’d never helped a woman out of a tent.
He had never dusted a log so she could sit, to then fetch food or water like a slave, hoping for a smile. But he did for Harper, and he was willing do so much more for her. All she had to do was ask.
His mouth watered at the sight of her kissable lips, that smile, that shine in her eyes as she spoke with Bree, who was teaching Harper about mustering on horseback. He wanted to teach her, to talk to her, to just be near her. She was enough to cause his brain to short circuit.
‘Are you doin’ okay there, bro?’ Cap rode up beside him, his assorted cattle dogs spread out around him as they effortlessly controlled the herd, heading for the trail to Cascades Spur. ‘You’re daydreaming, mate.’
‘Didn’t sleep well.’ He held a protective arm around Mason, safe in his carrier, who was gripping the reins like a racehorse jockey, jabbering in some unknown language to the horse.
‘I saw where you slept.’
‘With a kid between us.’ If Mason wasn’t there, Ash was pretty sure he would have been allowed more than just one kiss with the nanny. ‘Harper was scared of the noises.’
‘I get it. Listen, mate …’ Cap dropped his head and lowered his tone. ‘You haven’t stopped looking at her.’
‘Nah.’ Yet, Ash struggled to tear his eyes away from Harper, riding alongside Bree.
‘Look, do yourself a favour and ride up front, or get on the other side.’
‘Why?’
‘To concentrate on the cattle, or you’ll have Dex on your back.’
‘I kissed her,’ he confessed, scrubbing a rough hand over his face. ‘I thought, sure one kiss. But …’
‘It must have been a good kiss.’
He opened his palms up, simply unable to speak about the magnitude of the power of one kiss.
‘Damn.’ Cap arched an eyebrow.
‘Harper said she’s never done stuff, like relationships. And she’s not snooty. Harper is awkwardly shy outside of work.’
‘Well, that makes sense. She’s a different person, out here. I mean, you could’ve knocked me over this morning when she asked Bree to teach her to muster.’
‘I know.’ Ash was in awe of her courage and her adventurous spirit. ‘But Harper said only one kiss because she didn’t want to be part of some cliché of the boss kissing the nanny. So, I thought, sure. One kiss. Easy-peasy. Not.’ It was screwing with his hormones. Now he was wishing he’d never kissed her. Harper was right—kissing his employee did make the workplace messy. ‘What do I do?’
‘You’re asking me for dating advice. You?’
‘I’m serious, Cap. There’s no way I’d have this conversation with Dex or Ryder.’
‘I don’t believe this. You, the womaniser, who loves the chase and gets bored with the catch.’
‘I haven’t caught her.’ Harper was not only out of his reach, but she was also out of his league. Even though it had never bothered him before, he knew how the world rolled. Harper was polished—he was rough. She did business class—he was cattle class. Ash didn’t own a suit or an iron to press his shirts, and he wouldn’t know how to tie a necktie, but he could tackle a cleanskin bull with his bare hands and not blink.
‘So maybe this is just another chase, like you do with all of those other girls?’
‘Hmm …’ He sat back in the saddle, with Mason trying to flick the reins, the horse patiently ignoring the boy. ‘You might be right.’ Most of the women Ash went with all worked in his field, they were used to mustering, and didn’t mind hanging out at the pub. Harper was completely different.
‘But is it worth it, bro? Breaking her heart, like the others in your past, especially when you have Mason to consider.’ Cap nodded at the toddler, having a fat time in the saddle. ‘Your son adores Harper.’
Ash bit his own tongue to stop himself from admitting that he adored Harper, too.
‘Da-da.’
‘What did he say?’ Cap pointed to Mason.
‘Da-da.’ Mason waved the reins, showing off his gummy grin at Ash.
‘Mate, your son just called you dad.’
Ash peered down at Mason’s big brown eyes.
‘Daddy.’ His little hands cupped Ash’s chin, he smiled and then pointed at the horse. ‘Orsey?’
‘That’s right mate, horse. H-horse.’ All morning the boy had been playful.
‘Congrats, he’s yours now, Daddy .’ Cap patted Ash’s shoulder.
Hold on, Ash had a countdown happening. Yet he couldn’t remember how many days until that welfare visit, while staring down at the boy who was smiling at him.
This morning Ash woke to the boy smiling at him in the tent, tapping his nose while Harper slept, holding his flowers to her chest like a princess. He didn’t want to wake sleeping beauty, so he quietly slid on his boots, with the boy copying him. They then crept out of the tent together like it was a game for Mason. The boy happily toddled alongside Ash to stand beside him and copy him as they peed near a tree. This trip the boy had become Ash’s shadow, sitting beside him at the campfire for lunch, dinner, then breakfast. He’d tug on Ash’s jeans when he couldn’t hold Ash’s hand. Even holding out flowers he’d picked for Ash. Somehow that kid had wormed his way into Ash’s heart.
Now, after hearing that one little D word, it did something inside Ash’s chest, releasing an inner warmth but also a fierce layer of protectiveness that washed over his shoulders, to replace that blend of fear and worry. He’d just been called Dad . Him. A father.
He wanted to tell Harper. Honestly, he wanted to share everything with Harper.
But he shouldn’t, because in the harsh light of day, that kiss was all messed up. He should have never kissed the nanny.
‘You’re right, Cap.’ He pulled on the reins. ‘I have to think of Mason. I’ll take the far side.’ For his own sanity, Ash turned the horse to ride away from Harper. With any luck, he could avoid Harper for the rest of the day.